dxssociation

[dxssociation]

"Look, I can normally tolerate you better but the lights here are so bright so I need you to shut up." He isn't trying to be rude but he's also not putting in any effort to keep his tone nice.

@fourthclone

[dxssociation]

"I'm really not in the mood so whatever bullshit you're trying to pull, be quick about it." He keeps his hand on his sword as he stares down the redhead.

@poeticphoenix

[dxssociation]

"Have you... Been enjoying seeing the world outside of Midgar?" It's been hard, of course, on their journey but he did hope there were silver linings for his comrades.

@sacredflorist

[dxssociation]

//pspspsps like for a small starter

[dxssociation]

Pinned

Selective RP blog for Cloud Strife of the FFVII compilation and remake. Private, selective and sporadic activity. Sideblog to @ceaselxss Call me Cas or Sage, I’m 21+ and my pronouns are they/he

carrd

[dxssociation]

//and because ive also got roche brainrot i am just at the conclusion of 'roche could fix him'

//today ive been unable to stop thinking about the glimpses of 'real cloud' that rebirth gives us. the few real, deep smiles. he likes praise and competition, he likes winning, he likes chocobo chicks, he likes when people actually like him, when people accept him

[dxssociation]

//today ive been unable to stop thinking about the glimpses of 'real cloud' that rebirth gives us. the few real, deep smiles. he likes praise and competition, he likes winning, he likes chocobo chicks, he likes when people actually like him, when people accept him

[dxssociation]

🐝  *  ―  𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

[dxssociation]

4-Word Sentence Prompts

Part I An assortment of prompts and/or starters using only four words. Adjust as necessary to fit pronoun and/or descriptor. Reblog, please do not repost or add.

“ I don't need you. ”

“ Celebrate while you can. ”

“ It was too much. ”

“ I'm so, so sorry. ”

“ Let me love you. ”

“ Where have you been? ”

“ Why am I here? ”

“ I would love to. ”

“ I tried but failed. ”

“ You'll never forgive me. ”

“ I want to confess. ”

“ I will protect you. ”

“ You don't deserve me. ”

“ I don't deserve you. ”

“ You are safe here. ”

“ You choose your fate. ”

“ I have lost control. ”

“ I don't recognize myself. ”

“ You are to blame. ”

“ You lack the skills. ”

“ Be still, don't move. ”

“ Yet again you lie. ”

“ You are so beautiful. ”

“ Take it off. Now. ”

“ Look at you now. ”

“ Shoot before it escapes! ”

“ You can't do this! ”

“ Please don't leave me. ”

“ Please leave me along. ”

“ Worship me or die. ”

“ Bow before me, peasant. ”

“ Did you make this? ”

“ I can't believe this! ”

“ You are my villain. ”

“ You are my hero. ”

“ I don't take sides. ”

“ Run, don't look back. ”

“ My life is perfect. ”

“ Don't lie to me. ”

“ When is it over? ”

“ What is this madness? ”

“ Cut loose, have fun! ”

“ I hate you all. ”

“ I love you, dear. ”

“ You drive me crazy. ”

[dxssociation]

//Mental health, neurodivergence and trauma hcs.

Cloud is autistic; he is aware of it in the sense that he sees himself as different from people and understands that people don't like him but he doesn't always understand why. When he was younger it presented predominately as a social anxiety because Nibelheim didn't cause problems with his sensory issues (and when Midgar does, he puts it down to being unused to the city). I think some of Cloud's 'I want to be a hero' is somewhat a wish to emulate a personality that people like.

CPTSD. Post Crisis Core, Cloud suffers from a complex trauma disorder. He exists heavily in a survival state, his mind has shut down a large amount of mental processes (a lot of emotion, empathy, memory) in order to protect him, and to 'save energy'. He has difficulty processing and feeling emotions, and difficulty controlling them when they do break through. He feels isolated, though he does still want for connection he struggles to trust, to justify closeness, to feel like he's worth being close to. The physical symptoms of fatigue and headaches are something he gets as well, even divorced from the effects of Sephiroth and the Jenova cells.

Linked in with the CPTSD is his plurality. Now before I go further, I will state that I as the writer have a form of DID. Cloud has a complex trauma disorder that causes dissociation and affects his memory and sense of identity but he is not one to one with a DID system. Both because part of what's going on in his head is supernatural, for lack of a better word, and I don't love equating fictional issues as an exact comparison to a real word one. But also because, overall, he lines up more with OSDD-1a. Cloud does not have distinct Alters, the Zack persona is not a complete introject of Zack but it also isn't the same Cloud as he was prior to his trauma. Cloud's plurality is less of an internal system, and more of a sense of introjecting things that feel safe to fill in some gaps while his mind tries to protect itself by repressing memories and certain traumas. Though I would also posit that OSDD-2 fits as well, as it is defined as identity disturbance due to torture/brainwashing/captivity

It's part of this damaged psyche that makes Cloud very easy for Jenova to manipulate, but it's also due to Jenova that his psyche is fractured in this way - an awful circle

[dxssociation]

Temp Pinned

Sideblog to @ceaselxss - Follows will come from there

I'm Cas or Sage, 21+, they/them

This is an 18+ blog

Highly selective, mutuals only as I try to get my feet under me for Cloud

I draw much more from the Japanese depiction of Cloud than the localisation