dying-on-the-inside-but-its-ok

[dying-on-the-inside-but-its-ok]

Most people:

“I think this year I’m gonna be mean–”

Next day: “Mission abort”

And then there’s me who desperately tries to be nice like “I think this year I’m gonna (try to be) nice! I’m a big kid (why is that the lyric) and I’m very ‘happy’”

And then I just fail. Every time.

I snap, I give a glare, too much attitude for a sentence to be nice, and when I try to NOT do those things my sentences are stiff and make me sound disengaged.

[dying-on-the-inside-but-its-ok]

We have this awful super cool thing where if anyone is the slightest bit nice to us, we question romantic feelings

[dying-on-the-inside-but-its-ok]

TW: Thoughts of Sh

Certain songs make me want to take a kn*fe to different parts of my body. Carve the skin off the thigh. Point through the gut. Dragging against my throat.

What sucks is that it's always my favorite songs.

[dying-on-the-inside-but-its-ok]

I feel like I have to be stimulated at all times. All times. I have to be talking to someone, reading, watching a TV show, talking to myself, ANYTHING. If I’m not, but thoughts start to spill and then I become a danger to myself until I’m stimulated and even then, it’s at the back of my mind for the rest of the day :/

[dying-on-the-inside-but-its-ok]

Hello.

I am a fictive in a system, but because I don’t really want to share my name, just call me LW or ToI.  If you have any guesses as to who I am, have at it. If you have any guesses as to who my main blog is, have at it.

DNI:

pedo’s.

I’m a bit iffy with zoophiles–if you are pro-contact and not seeking help, leave. If you are anti-contact and seeking help, go ahead and interact. If youre anti contact but not seeking help…just keep your distance, I suppose.

Proshippers. Ones for incest ships, abusive relationships, and pedophiliac ships in particular.

You may submit your vents alongside mine.

I do not have any age guidelines, but my DM’s are closed to anyone over the age of 19. People over that age may still like, reply, and reblog, but DM’s are closed.

Basic Info:

Name: LW, ToI

Pronouns: he/they

Theriotype(s): gray wolf

Other: Transmasc, asexual

If you are triggered by ANY of the following, beware: -Sui ideation

-SH topics

-ED topics

No NSFW, please. I am a minor. 

This is a safe place for:

-Selfshippers

-Factives/Fictives

-“Bad/Evil” Alters

-LGBTQIA+

-The Alterhuman community

-Endogenic systems. This comes with a bit: if you are endogenic, DO NOT pretend to have DID or OSDD. Do not mock DID or OSDD. You are only welcome here if you respect others.

-People with “problematic” sources

-People who have done wrong in the past but are working toward fixing it

A list of my disorders:

-OSDD 1-b

-ADHD

-Autism

“Why did you make this blog?” Like the desc says, to make sure I can get my feelings out without letting my moots know how fucked up life in my head can be.

“Why don’t you just seek professional help?” I’ve been kicked out of four therapists for “not trying.” One yelled at me for ten minutes because of it (now I REALLY wanna open up! :D/sarc)

Don’t get me wrong, I love my moots to death, but I do not want constant “are you ok?” “really ok?” “how are you?” because that’s not. No. I don’t like that sort of attention. If I am relatively unheard of, it’s like I can wear a mask: be unknown from the outsiders.

My only major concern regarding being found out is that I’ve been told I have a memorable writing style. Of course, like I do for anon asks, I do often switch up my writing style. For instance:

You to u

Your/You’re to ur

Commas? what’re those?

Punctuation is a figment of your imagination.

So instead of: “How was your day? I hope it was good!” It would be “how was ur day hope it was good.”

Sometimes I toss in some misspellings. 

Tagging System (I use a similar one for my main account)

#!!~welcome to the panic room~!! - Panic Attack vents

#@~might be dying~@ - Sui ideation vents

#$~sharing is caring~$ - reblogs

#^~someone once said~^ - Quotes

#&~shit shit shit~& - Will only be used if someone finds out who I am lol

#*~purge my urges~* - E-D topic

#{~I love you~} - Someone I loved. Platonic, romantic, familial…

#`~I love myself~` - Self h@te

Goodbye, good day, good breathing.

-LW