dys-course-phoria

[dys-course-phoria]

i still really like the glasses metaphor. some people know that they need glasses because their vision is so bad that they suffer because of it. some people don't realize they need glasses until they go to an optometrist, and find out their vision isn't perfect. some people don't need glasses at all, but still get fake ones because they want to.

some people know they're trans because their dysphoria is a constant issue. some people don't realize they have dysphoria until they present differently and realize how much better it makes them feel. some people don't have dysphoria at all but want to be trans anyway because they think it's cool.

Excuse me, I'm not going to try to fight you. I just want to ask why exactly transmed people think like this? As someone who experiences top dysphoria, but doesn't think you need it to be trans, I would like to question why. Again, I'm not trying to argue. I'm just curious.

No, don't worry, you're fine.

I honestly don't know how to answer you, especially if I'm speaking for all transmeds, sorry. Hopefully someone in the notes can answer you?

[dys-course-phoria]

okay well saying that "you need dysphoria to be trans" is invalidating people who don't experience dysphoria.

Nah, cis people are cool, too.

[dys-course-phoria]

"people dont fake being trans" so the cis girl that pretented to be a trans girl, who coined the word "tucute" just doesnt exist?

what the FUCK are truscum going ON ABOUT.

YOU can be trans and BE HAPPY BEING TRANS!!! you dont have to be miserable all the fuckin time oh my god!!!

ALSO! I DONT NEED TO BE KISSIN CIS PEOPLES ASSES ALL THE TIME! cis people are gonna hate my ass whether i look like them or not because im TRANS!

YEAH sometimes i fuckin go stealth sometimes, BUT FOR MY SAFETY!!!

YALL TRUSCUM NEED TO REEVALUATE YURSELVES and wonder why youre miserable all the damn time!!!

[dys-course-phoria]

just gonna leave this here

[dys-course-phoria]

i know people throw the word “gaslighting” around way too easily so i’m not gonna call it that, but when i think back to the way i was treated for pointing out biphobia, especially in wlw spaces, and how other bisexuals say they’ve been treated…. if the shoe fits then it fits what can i say.  

Bisexuals will say “this is my experience, this is what it’s like for me as a bisexual” and other people will outright say “no sweatie ur wrong, i’m a Real Gay so i would know and u don’t/can’t experience that" ok but i do. This is a fact it’s not up for debate.  

But people will discount bisexual experiences and say that biphobic things aren’t actually biphobic and make us doubt our own experiences and perceptions, and those of us who have no other support won’t know how to argue with that.  We can feel what’s happening but we can’t articulate it, so we have to just accept what other people tell us about our reality.  Even other bisexuals who have already been worn down until they accepted biphobic ideas as fact are guilty of perpetuating this.  

You feel alone, you feel like you’re the only one who sees it, so maybe they’re right?  Maybe you’re making a big deal out of nothing?  If you can’t even explain it, then it must not be true, right?  You can’t put your finger on why it all feels wrong so you just start to feel like you’re crazy, and, well.  Sounds an awful lot like gaslighting to me, but what do i know.

[dys-course-phoria]

Pan people debating about omni being a harmful label is genuinely hilarious and I hope it causes both communities to implode by revealing how harmful both labels are.

[dys-course-phoria]

mtfs in punk: we're humans

ftms in "punk": *mile-long pronoun lists* ✨tr/sc/m dni✨

[dys-course-phoria]

tucutes be like "is there a gender neutral word for 'friend?'"

[dys-course-phoria]

i’m so annoyed that i over stretched and made my scars bigger. LISTEN TO UR SURGEON!! DONT PULL OR TWIST OR LIFT UNTIL THEY CLEAR U. think you can reach behind u to fix a pillow? nope. pull on tight compression sox. noooope. just relax and eat and hydrate and heal.

[dys-course-phoria]

instead of calling us the lgbtqiaapd+ community have you ever just considered calling us fags?

[dys-course-phoria]

The tea is HOT

[dys-course-phoria]

i agree 100% with everything you said here, but i think it's also important to note that when someone is choosing an "m-spec" label that isn't bisexual, they should try to think critically and analyze why it makes them more comfortable than bi.

no offense but i think telling people who are trying to figure out their sexual orientation to "really think about it" and "analyse their felings" is unhelpful and unhealthy

when i was trying to figure out if it was gay or bi or asexual or what sitting on the internet and obsessing over my feelings didn't help me at all, it just drove me crazy

i needed to go out there, fall in love, experience things, hook up with people, give myself time. sitting at home and trying to figure out if what i felt for men/women/whatever is sexual attraction was useless. taking off the pressure to find my label and letting myself just be was so much more liberating and allowed me to actually experience things that made realising i was bi extremely easy.

figuring out your sexual orientation shouldn't be this stressful intellectual puzzle, it should be a case of you living your life and then going from there

and when i say give yourself time i don't mean like two months. some people don't start experiencing falling for people and dating and having sex until they're in their twenties. some people come out in their thirties or later. this shit takes time. be kind to yourself. don't let internet checklists ruin your mental health. live your life and you'll figure it out when the time is right.

[dys-course-phoria]

aro, demiro, demi, ace, and gray ace flags (in no particular order)

[dys-course-phoria]

Tumblr “inclusivity” guide:

1. Be lesbophobic

2. Be biphobic

3. ... that’s it I guess

[dys-course-phoria]

wild seeing cishet white people say "we" all need to vote for biden for the sake of "poc and lgbt people" yet the vast majority of the never biden crowd is.. lgbt and poc.

[dys-course-phoria]

The more I interact with ace/aro people on reddit the more aphobic I become

[dys-course-phoria]

some people be like "i will not communicate when things make me uncomfortable and you are abusive for not reading my mind" or "you doing completely normal human things hurts me and instead of Saying That i will just be an asshole to you"