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Hey just wondering if u are going to post why III a time soon?

yes, like this weekend i promise

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she spend two weeks on this both of them

🌸 Peach 🌸 ~ katie mccabe x reader

an ~ this is the first one! thank for your service @lessi-lover! love you lots 🫶🏻

(katie mccabe x arsenal!reader)

~

today marked the beginning of a new chapter in your career; your very first official training session as one of two latest signings to the arsenal women's team, fresh of the high after being dubbed as 'the one to watch' during the 2023 world cup.

just a few days prior when the documents had been signed formally at the grounds, you had been given the chance to meet up with a couple of your national teammates, a handful of them already signing for london clubs.

moving to arsenal just made sense. it was always red and white for you. you were dressed in the red london kit before you could even walk, and the fact that you already had so many teammates living in england just made it all the easier to pick up the pen and sign.

you truly felt like you were on the top of the world, signing for your day one club, it was truly the height of your career and you still had so much longer to go.

having a quick breakfast with two of your older teammates in town, you felt more than assured by their words that you and your other teammate kyra, were going to create an incredible impact towards winning more titles and trophies this year.

the girls explained to you that this season they wanted to use the new signings to create more depth in the squad, become a stronger team and create a more meaningful connection with the clubs fans, and overall keep their reign as one of the most prominent clubs in europe.

"you excited to meet the girls, peach?" the aussie forward asked you, as she scanned her eyes over the menu. "they can't wait to meet you, peach. i've already got beth and jen lining up to go house shopping with you next week!" the other aussie added, fiddling with the leash connected to her dog's collar.

"peach?" caitlin worriedly questioned, as she watched you zone out of the conversation. "off with the fairies again this one." steph giggled as she poured you a glass of water. "yeah. yeah, of course i'm excited." you answered, although the hesitation in your voice was hardly convincing.

"it's okay peach. every footballer no matter how talented would be nervous to move to one of the most esteemed clubs in all of europe." she bragged, patting your shoulder, as your eyes widened further.

"not helping!" steph scolded, jabbing the side of her teammates arm, as she leant over to place a more comforting hand on your shoulder. "anything you want to tell us peach?" caitlin said, now with a more understanding tone as she spoke. "nothing its stupid." you responded quickly, shifting your eyes downwards nervously. "hey nothing you ever think is stupid, peach."

"we're your teammates, your caretakers and most importantly your friends. you can tell us anything that's bothering you, okay?" her gaze supporting, her hand moving comfortably up and down your arm.

caitlin nodded in agreement beside her teammate, genuine concern in her eyes, as they both waited patiently for your response. "no, don't worry about it." you quickly interjected, waving off their concern with a forced smile. "i can manage on my own. really, I appreciate the concern, though."

"alright, peach," steph said with a gentle nod, a silent look towards your other teammate that you would speak again whenever you were ready to share. "just remember, we're here for you. no pressure, no rush. when you're ready, we've got your back."

~

"you excited? you excited? you excited?" echoed the relentless voice of a young australian in your ear, each sentence coming with a jab to the side of your arm. talking in the back of your teammates car, you found yourself staring nervously out the window, a pointless attempt to quiet your thoughts as they raced rapidly through your head.

turning towards the blonde, you gave her a deadpan look, "kyra cooney cross, what do you mean, 'am i excited', of course i am!" you mocked, poking your finger into her chest with every word.

you tried desperately to put on your signature fearless persona, however your voice betrayed you as you trembled out the last few words.

kyra having already been signed for at least three weeks now, awfully tried to console your nerves even hitting you with, "hey, if they don't like you, you can always move countries." this only made you feel even worse, and you let yourself sink into your car seat.

"oi, peach, ky, we're here." caitlin said as she turned off the car engine. taking a deep breath, you released all your nerves. steph opened the door from beneath your elbow, causing your body to fall backwards, almost completely onto the ground. a sharp chill ran through you, as a gust of wind brushed past your skin.

the london weather was already making you want to book the first flight home back to sunny australia. you brushed down your clothes, feeling steph pat the top of your freshly washed hair.

"hey, watch the hair, i need everything to be perfect today!" you said in a a stern voice as caitlin and kyra exchanged a glance over your shoulder. "peach your gonna be just fine, i'm telling ya, no ones gonna care if a few pieces of your hair are sticking out." caitlin assured you.

"your going to be just perfect." ~

now dressed in your new kit, you made your way over to the gym. as today was the start of the season, you had been told that these strength and conditioning sessions would be a primary part of your program for the next couple of weeks. the anticipation of the waiting season filled you with a mix of excitement and nerves.

walking out the changing room, you felt as if you were living in a dream, although the high slightly out of your reach. the sound of your sneakers slid against the floor of the hallway, your body swirling with different emotions. "you ready peach?" kyra asked, lifting her arm over your shoulder as you walked.

"is katie a nice person?" you responded frantically, as you and kyra made your way through the building. you bit the side of your mouth anxiously, nervous that kyra would only further prove your thoughts. "yeah. i've only known her for a couple of weeks, but she's really funny!" kyra answered enthusiastically. nodding her head, as she fixed her sleeves.

the last time you had encountered the irish girl was back in august at the world cup, australia versus ireland. you could say this game left quite the impression on you, even if you spent majority of the match on the bench.

the intensity of the game, the clash with your close friend katrina gorry, had you painting a picture in your mind that was hard to shake no matter how hard you tried to move on. although, hearing your best friends words of her fellow teammate, painted a picture in your head that was at odds with your expectations.

but before you could ask more about kyra's experience with the brunette, steph suddenly appeared next to you, a bright smile on her face. "some of my best mates are headed over to meet you!" the defender exclaimed in an excited voice, grinning from ear to ear.

the introduction of several of her teammates did nothing to calm the turmoil of feeling racing through your body. if anything, it only made your heart race further, and your excitement heighten. a group of girls made their way over to you, dressed in the training kit, their faces smiling.

as they drew closer, you felt your nerves settle, as each player kindly introduced themselves to you. "hey, you must be the one and only peach!" says a loud blonde, as she wraps her arms tightly around your body, engulfing you in a hug. "beffy don't scare her away!" a tall brunette said, her scottish accent shining through her words.

"it's so great to finally meet you! we have heard so many amazing things about you." a girl spoke, the number thirteen in bold on her top. you felt your cheeks heat up, the tips of your ears burning at the attention you were receiving from your new teammates.

a couple more girls made there way over, many of them familiar with you over the course of your world cup journey as you properly met a series of players from the swedish national team. then came the english girls; leah, alessia and lotte, before viv and laura also came introducing themselves and sending you a small welcoming wave.

moving into the gym, you completed a series of intense exercises, the gym alive with the sound of chatter, weights clanking on the ground, shouts of encouragement, and the collective huff of your teammates pushing their limits.

it was in the middle of an exercise, one in which you were paired with a very irish girl for a partner drill. the realisation that you hadn't introduced yourself to her hit you like a pile of heavy bricks, your mind short - circuiting and delaying your thoughts. you hadn't spoken directly to her, and of course it was your fate that partnered you with the one person you'd hoped to avoid.

as she walked over to you, you attempted to greet her, "heyyy... so im uh, umm-" you stuttered awkwardly, your face flushed a deep pink. "peach?" she finished off, voice laced with amusement. using your nickname, sending you a wink as she lifted weights onto the bar.

"so, why do they all call you peach?" she asked, her eyes filled with genuine curiosity as she lifted the bar with such ease. you felt the blush creep further up you face, almost spreading over your whole body. "its a long story but-." you mumbled, fingers fiddling together. "she just can't help it. she always blushing, so the aussie girls named her peach." caitlin interrupted you, giggling as she watched you redden once again.

the rest of the training session was what could be described as pure discomfort for you both, as katie tried desperately to keep the conversation going to fill the awkward silence you had created. the both of you moving around each other with such difficulty that you'd wished you just stayed completely still.

finally it was as if the trainer had heard your prayers, he rung the bell to signal that the session was over.

quickly you rushed on over to the water station, swiftly grabbing a clear water with your name bolded on it. "-want to come with the girls tonight?" as you twisted open the cap, a distinctive accent caught your attention. turning around with your bottle in hand, you were faced with your earlier partner, a hopeful look on her face.

"care to join the girls tonights? beth's organised a small get together at a quiet bar downtown." she asked, her words accented with her signature cocky grin, as she lifted her shirt upwards to wipe her sweating face.

the brunette had invited you to go for dinner with her and the team. your face lit up brightly, as a smile took over your face. "of course, wouldn't miss it." you responded eagerly.

it was in that moment that you finally felt complete. as if all your hard work to get into the team of your dreams had finally paid off. a feeling of belonging fluttered in your chest. "perfect. see you there, peach," she grinned.

you felt like a gunner, you felt like you fit in and you couldn't wait to prove yourself to your team.

~

"hey y/n!" you heard a voice call out from the carpark. turning around, you saw your teammate alessia, quickly hurrying out the door to catch you before you left. although, before the the blonde could reach you, she stumbled clumsily over the curb, landing flat on her face, her bag falling freely out of her arms and onto the pavement.

"less! are you alright?" you questioned, rushing to her side to lift her to her feet, as she picked up all her things. "never better. are you coming tonight?" she asked urgently, a sense of anticipation in her voice. "yes, katie asked me a while back. i'll be there." you answered. smiling up at the tall girl, as you watched her break out into a cheeky smile that you couldn't quite place.

"can i come over? see the new house... and maybe.. i don't know.. pick your outfit?" she requested, but you missed the mischievous glint in her eyes that came with it. "alright less," you giggled, brushing a strand of your hair back.

driving your way through the busy streets, you handed alessia your phone, the blonde responding with a smile as she entered her number. "so how do you like london?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence. "london? it's incredible." you replied, letting your eyes rake over the various tall city buildings.

"the clubs, the players, the city, the buildings, the people, - it's amazing. it's exactly what i dreamed of."

the striker nodded at your words, her eyes sparkling with her shared agreement. "i know what you mean, it's as if the city never sleeps. i just have to show you some of the special spots around here." you chuckled, nodding your head that you would have to go out sightseeing eventually.

pulling up to your apartment, you guided alessia up the elevator and into your living room, a series of unpacked boxes littering your floors. "steph and cait were meant to come over to help me unpack, but they just spent their time with whiskers." you explained to the blonde, as she explored your house.

"whiskers?" she questions, her brows furrowing, as she tried to understand you. "whiskers!" you yelled out, your voice bouncing off the walls. "oh." you said contentedly, gesturing to a small grey cat curled up in the corner. "he's friendly, you can go up and say hello if you want." but you weren't even halfway through your sentence as the english girl raced over to greet him.

~

"hm. what about this one?" alessia asked holding up a sparkly dress with a hopeful expression. the striker having poured the entirety of your freshly organised wardrobe all throughout your bedroom, clothing and shoes littering the once clean floor.

"it's just dinner, less. i hardly think a tight black dress is casual enough." you chuckled, body flopping backwards onto you bed. "oh cmon! i'll even wear something similar! all the girls will wear them."

she tried to convince you, waving the small dress around in front of you face. "less.." you mumbled, frowning up at the standing blonde as she faced you. "oh please!" she begged, her mouth forming an upset pout, as she clutched the dress close to her chest.

"oh fine" you agreed begrudgingly, sighing as the striker smiled at you. rolling your eyes, as her face lit up in excitement, a cheeky grin plastered on her lips. "you're going to look amazing! we're going to have so much fun, i promise!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

"blush, less?" you asked, gesturing to the light palette in your hands. "if you don't mind!" she answered, taking it from your hands with a wink. sitting down at the vanity, you both began to get ready, although you're sure you spent more time talking rather than anything else.

giggling over the blondes stories of her england camps, and your own, you both bonded over each others individual stories. "you just started choking?" you breathed out, laughter stuck in your throat, as alessia told you stories of her younger self, from when she was first called up to the U15 teams.

"and you wouldn't believe the looks i got when my own coach had to help me spit the meatball out! it was so humiliating!" she chuckled, her face flushed in embarrassment as she recounted the story. "only you could manage that, less." you giggled, the sides of your mouth turned up in a cheeky grin.

"only you could manage that!" she said cockily, continuing to apply a light amount of makeup to her face. "what do you mean, less?" you responded, brows furrowing inwards as you tried to understand the blonde's words.

"i mean only the one and only y/n could receive a follow from the devil herself you know." she answered, waving your phone in your face. you could see a notification at the bottom of your screen, 'katie_mccabe11 started following you.' you frowned at the message, although you quickly went to follow her back.

"you got the devil part right." you sighed, switching off your phone to rest beside your elbow. "she's coming tonight ya know." the striker nods, again the mischievous glint in her eyes appeared, which only spurred you on further.

"i know. she invited me actually." you confirmed, body turning to face her, as you caught her smirk in the mirror. "really?" she grinned, shaking her head, whilst you sat there confused. "didn't think she'd have the guts to ask you out!" the blonde laughed, her hand falling against her chin, smiling at herself.

"what do you mean, less?" you said, pushing away your makeup, as you tried to pull the distracted girl's attention towards yourself. "oh nothing. just that she has the biggest crush on you, like ever!" she blurted out.

"oh my god! you didn't hear that!" she said worriedly, her hands coming up to slap against your ears, a look of true regret in her eyes, as she tried desperately to make you unhear her words. "uhh." she mumbled anxiously.

"that didn't happen! none of this ever happend! i- uhm! i was never here!" she shouted, racing around your room to pick up her belongings, as she raced out the front door. your chest tightened, a familiar feeling settling in your chest that you couldn't quite place.

you felt a slight tinge of a real blush coat your cheeks, the tips of your ears burning at the blonde's confession. "no way." you whispered dismissively. katie rarely ever talked to you, and there was doubt in your mind that your friend was just making things up.

surely katie didn't actually like you?

~

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hello how are you ? I m sorry that you are so sad and hope that you get better ❤️‍🩹

I have a request for Alexia x reader

Reader(22or 23) is the new intern for Barca (media team or something)

she has a big crush on Alexia

basically Alexia is award of this

Could you maybe include mapi who catches ok reader crush and encourage Alexia like « you can go she has obviously a crush , … you have nothing to lose … don’t need to be a serious thing … just a quick fuck ..or the better way to get over someone is to get under someone else »

they slept together and goes on a “date” like alexia ask help for social media management and that go at a coffe shop an after they slept together

they are in relationship but is secret because Alexia is a public personality

during The relationship Alexia is sometimes strange (call reader the wrong name , imagining someone else during sex or compare her to her ex ) but reader is to in love to see it . Maybe she is cheating or trying to win Olga back without readers knowing

so mapi catche on the relationship maybe she interrupt one time one she goes to Alexia unannounced

reader want to make a surprise to Alexia like they write a cute card and a little bag of sweets but they can’t go in the locker room so they ask mami to put it in Alexia bag

Ingrid saw this and is mad because she think reade is flirting with mapi

mapi than explain to Ingrid that there are in a secret relationship

Alexia saw the card and is like very happy (she think is from Olga)than she red it and frown

some teammates tease her a bit but she snap

over time Ingrid is catching that something is wrong with trader and Alexia relationship and try to make mami confront her (mapi don’t see the wrong for her it s just a private relationship)

At the end maybe reader caught Alexia with olga (after a big win ) and try to confront her . Alexia get very mad and tell her that they were never in a relationship and that she was just a fuck toy

all the Barca girl hear it and reader cross the locker room very ashamed and humiliated

all her team mate (mostly mapi) are very mad and disappointed with alexia because reader is very sweet and Alexia juste crushed her and her self esteem.

it the end of reader internship and she flew away and didn’t take the contract to work with Barca

could you maybe make angsty or smutty ?

sorry is very long 🫠 I get carried away

thanks you and hope you feel better soon ❤️

i'm working on this

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they said i couldn't speak about it but they didn't say i couldn't respond to her so it's what she said basically but i think the ppl they block are only writers they didn't block like the readers which was why i was mad

Now I don't understand anything. Who blocked who and what's happening? Is it innocent vs smut writers ?

it's confusing but i was asked to stop speaking about it cause it proves their point

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Now that i got all that out i'm back to posting our usual content now

so why III and Maybe II is coming out Feb 22 as a gift

What If is coming out feb 20

Echo's is coming out either today or tomorrow

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ouch. so incredible though

thanks. it was painful writing it

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Why II was so good I loved it please I can’t wait for why III

it's coming out on feb 22

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Why III ?

feb 22

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Now I don't understand anything. Who blocked who and what's happening? Is it innocent vs smut writers ?

it's confusing but i was asked to stop speaking about it cause it proves their point

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Why II

This is a repost cause i deleted all my fics

Major warning if you have mommy issues or daddy issues or parental neglect issues pls do not read this

and if you do read this pls don't blame me for anything, including but not limited to excessive crying/sobbing, a depression slump/ wanting to kill someone or anything else

Or if you're name Sarah

part 1

Alexia Putellas X Child!Reader

Tw: Negelct, Angst

Summary: Why did she not try

Why didn't I make the effort to acknowledge you, or even offer a simple greeting, when all you wanted was a moment of recognition?

Alexia was back from Elena’s high school graduation when she saw the Envelope on the dining table, mark with her name on it, she was going to open it when she realized it was your handwriting. She rolled her eyes thinking it was one of your notes, asking her to spend time with you or something similar. She threw the envelope into the bin and started looking through her email. The sky soon turned dark, she realized she hasn’t seen you since she came back which was unusual since you were always clinging to her like a lost puppy. She was going to order take out for both of you, when she recieved a text from Elena asking her if she wanted to celebrate her graduation with dinner, she texted her back saying yes, and called you to come down so she could give you money for your dinner. When you didn’t reply her or rush down she just left the money on the counter and went out for dinner. When she came back the lights were still on, she thought nothing of me until she saw that the money she left you was left untouched. She walked up stairs and open the door, noticing your barren room. She decided to call you, but all she heard was,

"Thank you for calling. The number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Please check the number and try your call again. Thank you.”

Since when did your number change she thought, she wanted to ask your friends if they knew where you were but she realized she didn’t even know who they were. Then she remembered the letter that she envelope that she threw to the bin,

When she opened the envelope and read the letter, she felt empty she didn’t know why, she thought would be happy wouldn’t she after all she had been pushing you away all this time. So she set the letter down, change into her evening gown and went to sleep. But as the weeks past, she felt the empty feeling grow into a pit in her heart. She started missing the notes you left, the way you would smile when she talked to you, the warmth of your presence in the house. She missed the little moments that she had taken for granted.

As more a month flash by she started trying to look for you after all you couldn’t have gotten that for right. She decided to go to your room trying to find anything that could lead her to where youu went instead she found, a book, she then remebered that in your letter you wrote that you were excited that you made it into the school's football team. When she first read it she was confuse as she never remembered you even taking an intrest in football. But after she saw the book she realized you did indeed tell her you make it to the football team, it was also the day she was supposed to fetch you from school as you had been begging her to for a long time, so she just said yes. Hoping you would stop pestering her, she didn’t fetch you that day, and instead of giving you an explanation, she just ignored you when you told her your exciting news, and told you she would talk about it over dinner, which she also missed.

She then remembered all the other times you tried talking to her, yet she just regarded you as a pest, wanting you to just stop. How she regrets it now, as all she wanted was for you to come back through the front door and hug her telling her you change your mind. And she would make up for all the times she dismissed you. However it didn’t happen you didn’t walk in, the house was still missing your presence, and the emptiness lingered in every corner.

Alexia couldn't shake off the overwhelming guilt that consumed her. She realized how she had neglected you, how she had failed to offer even a simple acknowledgment of your existence, let alone celebrate your achievements and share in your excitement.

As she sat in your barren room, holding onto the book that held a piece of your excitement and dreams, she couldn't help but feel the weight of her own shortcomings as a mother. She wished she could turn back time, to undo the hurt she had caused you, to be the supportive and loving mother you deserved.

But no amount of regret could change the fact that you were gone, that she had lost the chance to make things right. The realization hit her like a wave, crashing down on her with a force she couldn't bear.

Tears streamed down Alexia's face as she clutched onto the book, her heart aching with the longing for your presence, for another chance to show you that she cared.

Why did I neglect the most fundamental tasks you asked of me, yet expect you to readily assist me in my every request?

She was still trying to look for you when she, reread your letter for the hundred time, she read the part where you said that you asked if you could go to the arcade with your friends and that you’ve always bent over backwards to fulfill her every request. She recalled the times, she would asked you to help her buy things before and during team building and didn’t even ask you if you wanted to join, instead reminding you that you had to help her clean up after it ended. She then remembered all the times you ask her if she could go to the beach with you, or attend your concert or events and she said she was busy.

She remembered how she always seemed to prioritize her own needs and desires over yours, expecting you to readily assist her in every request without considering your own wishes and feelings.

The weight of her negligence and selfishness hit her like a ton of bricks. She realized how she had taken you for granted, how she had failed to see the love and effort you were pouring into your relationship with her, only to be met with indifference and neglect in return.

Alexia's heart ached with the realization of her own hypocrisy. How could she have expected you to be there for her when she couldn't even spare a moment to acknowledge your needs and desires?

Why couldn’t she had just try to make time for you maybe then you would still be here with her, she thought as she was holding back tears telling herself she didn’t deserved to feel sad as it was all her fault.

Why was I consistently absent from your most significant moments, offering nothing but hollow excuses in return?

Alexia now had a routine go to training or a match and comeback home to try to look for you. The only times it ever change was when she had an away game even then, she checked the camera that she installed in the front door ( incase you came back and she wasn’t there) religiously. When she checked her phone she saw a message from Elena, she ignored it as now every time she saw it she saw a message from her she only remembers the fact that she missed your primary school graduation even though she promised you. Or the fact she always said that she had to help Elena with something and missed your milestones and important moments. She remembered all the reasons she thought was good reasons that now she realized was pitiful excuses.

All the times she said she was busy, and the way your eyes dimmed but you still hugged her and said it was okay. She wondered how much she hurt you but didn’t realized or more accurately was to busy to care.

And you... why didn't you question me when I stopped paying attention to you?

She found a photo album titled 2019 summer road trip, she didn’t remember going on any road trip before, when she opened the album she saw a photo of you in a car, she then remembered of the week she didn’t see you at all. And when she did you asked her if she wanted to ask you anything and she just ignored you thinking it was one of your antics. Turned out you had gone on a road trip for a week, and she didn’t even realized. She wondered why you didn’t ask her if she notice but you did in fact try to, as she vividly remembers you trying to tell her something but she just tuned it out and focused on her phone.

The weight of her neglect weighed heavily on Alexia as she flipped through the album, each photo a painful reminder of the moments she had missed, the moments she had failed to share with you.

She recalled the times you had tried to reach out to her, to question her absence, but she had brushed you off, too preoccupied with her own affairs to spare a moment for you. The guilt gnawed at her insides as she realized how much she had hurt you, how much pain she had caused with her indifference and neglect.

Alexia couldn't understand why you didn't push her more, why you didn't demand her attention and question her absence. She knew deep down that you deserved so much more, that you deserved a mother who would be there for you, who would prioritize your needs and desires above all else.

But instead, she had failed you time and time again, offering nothing but hollow excuses in return for your longing for recognition and acknowledgment.

As she sat there, surrounded by memories of the moments she had missed, Alexia couldn't help but feel a profound sense of regret. Regret for the time lost, for the moments she could never get back, for the love and attention she had failed to give you.

What actions of mine led you to accept the disdain from me , your own flesh and blood, to endure such neglect?

What exactly crossed my mind when I opted to engage with her instead of you, my own daughter?

Alexia couldn’t help but ask herself what exactly did she do to make you accept her negelct like it was normalcy, and maybe it was to you. Her mind settled on to the memory where she believed Elena over you, and scolded you for something you probably didn’t do. She then recalled the fact she had took the necklace back from Elena planning to give it back to you when you apologized. You never did, and that was a blessing in disguised. She rummaged around her drawer for the necklace and when she found it, she knew she didn’t give it to you that’s when she remembered in your letter it stated that you found someone that treated you like her own daughter, who was there for you when she wasn’t. She shouldn’t feel sad, angry or jealous that you relied on that women instead of her but as she held the necklace in her hands, engraved with the word "Princesa" and signed by someone named L.W., Alexia couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy towards this mysterious figure who had seemingly filled the void in your life that she had left gaping open.

She realized that she had pushed you away, prioritizing her own desires and relationships over nurturing the bond she had with you. The memory of scolding you based on Elena's words instead of listening to your side of the story haunted her, knowing now that it was a pivotal moment where she had failed you.

And as she sat there, clutching the necklace that symbolized the connection she had failed to maintain with you, Alexia couldn't help but wonder why she had chosen to engage with others instead of prioritizing you, her own flesh and blood.

She knew that her actions had led you to seek comfort and acceptance elsewhere, to find comfort in someone who treated you like their own daughter when she had failed to do so.

But even amidst the guilt and regret, Alexia realized that she couldn't change the past. All she could do now was acknowledge her mistakes, learn from them, and strive to be a better mother to you, even if it meant starting from scratch and earning back your trust and love.

And as tears welled up in her eyes, Alexia made a silent vow to herself – to never again neglect the most fundamental task of being a mother, to always prioritize you above all else, and to make up for the lost time and opportunities she had squandered in the past.

And despite the pain and letdowns I've inflicted, why did you persist in holding onto hope that I would come through for you

Despite the pain and letdowns she had inflicted, Alexia couldn't help but wonder why you persisted in holding onto hope that she would come through for you. It was a question that haunted her as she grappled with the realization of how much she had failed you, how much she had neglected to be the mother you needed and deserved.

When a parcel labeled for you arrived, Alexia couldn’t resist the urge to open it. Inside, she found a medal inscribed with the words "Copa Juvenil Estrella" – "Star Youth Cup." Confusion washed over her as she struggled to understand why you would receive a medal from one of the most competitive under-21 tournaments in Spain. It was then that the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place.

She remembered the day of the tournament finals, the same day you had asked her to attend your football match. She recalled how she had brushed you off, claiming to be busy with her and Elena's training. It was a moment of realization that hit her like a bolt of lightning – she had prioritized her own interests over yours once again, and it may have been the final straw for you.

As Alexia connected the dots, she felt like burying herself six feet under. She couldn’t believe she didn’t know you were playing football much less knew you were playing it at such a high standard.

She wondered just what else she didn’t know about you. But she knew she could only hope that she’ll find you and that you’ll be able to forgive her so that you could build up your relationship again.

I just wish that one day I'll gather enough courage to ask for your forgiveness, and to find the strength to accept that you may never be there for me, regardless of how much I now yearn for your presence in my life

As Alexia was sitting down looking at her computer, a picture came up with you in her arms the day she adopted you and promised you she would love and take care of you forever. However all she did was the opposite, she remembered all the conversation’s or missed opportunities you had hinted at in your letter and, memories came rushing back to her,

“Mami, I made it into the school’s football team.”

The words barely registered as she mumbled a distracted response.

“But you promised you'd pick me up today.”

Your disappointment was palpable, "I know, sweetie, but something came up. The helper will take care of you," she said, barely sparing you a glance as I tried to focus on my task at hand.

"

As she watched you retreat to your room, she couldn't help but wonder why you seemed so upset. Didn't you understand that she had important things to attend to? Why couldn't you just be patient and wait for her to finish?

“Mami, can I go to the arcade with my friends? It’s the last day of school.”

She thought that you should help her with her teambuilding since you were her daughter after all.

"But I finished all my work."

Your insistence only added to her frustration. "I said no. End of discussion," I declared, my tone final as I brushed off your request. Didn't you understand that she had more important things to worry about than your petty desires?

"Why does she always choose someone else over me?"

As she watched you resign yourself to another night at home, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. Why couldn't you just accept that she had my own life to live, her own priorities to attend to?

"Mom, why can't you come to my graduation?"

Your hurt was evident in your voice, but she couldn't afford to dwell on it. "I have a work commitment, sweetie," she replied, her words hollow .

"I didn’t do anything wrong, Mom."

Your protests fell on deaf ears as she refused to listen. "I don't want to hear it," she cut you off, her disappointment palpable as she struggled to come to terms with your perceived shortcomings.

All the things she thought about you and everything she said was what pushed you away. Each dismissive remark, each broken promise, each moment of neglect drove a wedge between you, widening the gap in your relationship until it became insurmountable.

As Alexia sat there, reflecting on her past actions and the impact they had on you, she couldn't help but feel a deep sense of regret and remorse. She wished she could turn back time, to undo the hurt she had caused, to be the mother you needed and deserved.

But she knew that she couldn't change the past. All she could do now was acknowledge her mistakes and strive to do better in the future. She realized that she needed to confront her own shortcomings, to learn from her mistakes, and to prioritize you above all else.

With tears streaming down her face, Alexia made a silent vow to herself – to gather enough courage to ask for your forgiveness, and to find the strength to accept that you may never forgive her, regardless of how much she now yearned for your presence in her life.

As she sat there, clutching onto the memories of the moments she had missed, a notification from Instagram interrupted her thoughts. The post was from Arsenal, and the caption read:

"Welcome to Arsenal, our new signing Y/N Williamson”

[e-hv]

Why

This is a repost cause i deleted all my fics

part 2

Major warning if you have mommy issues or daddy issues or parental neglect issues pls do not read this

and if you do read this pls don't blame me for anything, including but not limited to excessive crying/sobbing, a depression slump/ wanting to kill someone or anything else

Or if you're name Sarah

Alexia Putellas X Child!Reader

Tw: Negelct, Angst

Summary: Why does she not keep her promises

"Why do I keep reaching out to you, hoping for some semblance of acknowledgment, only to be met with silence and indifference?

“Mami, I made it into the school’s football team.” Ten year old you was very excited to tell Alexia that you made the football team. She was on her computer watching replays of her matched yesterday, she promised you she would fetch you from school toady but instead of her your helper was there. But you told yourself it was okay because Mami was busy and you could just tell her the good news when you got home. When you told her the news, she looked at you and asked you not to bother her while she was working, and that she’ll talk to you during dinner. So you went to your room to do your schoolwork. When you finally finish all your school work and extra revision, you went out of your room to find your Mami,but she wasn’t there so you asked your helper. She said Alexia, went out to meet up with friends. After dinner, you decide to wait up for her and read a book in the mean time, by the time she got backed you were almost done with the book and was really sleepy. But you still ran up to her and greet her, she pushed you away telling you that she was too tired and went to her room to sleep. You went back to your room, sitting on your bed, holding your book tightly, you couldn't help but wonder why Mami didn't seem to care about you. Why did she always ignore you when you just wanted her to notice you and be proud of you? Why did you keep trying to talk to her, hoping she would finally pay attention to you, even though she never did?

Tears welled up in your eyes as you whispered to yourself, "Why couldn’t she be proud of me like the moms in the stories are of their children?”

Why do I continue to bend over backwards to fulfill your every request, knowing deep down that you're just putting on a facade for others?

“Mami, can I go to the arcade with my friends it’s the last day of school, and we want to do something fun together.” You were now eleven, older then ten but still young enough to think Alexia could change. Alexia had just came home from training,but she was on the phone with someone so she told you to quiet down. You sighed and walked to your room to put down your bag and change into something comfortable. You decide to do your work as you thought if you finished it your Mami would let you go out with your friends. When you heard Alexia said her goodbyes to whoever was on the phone. You opened your room door and called for her, and reapeated the question adding in the fact that you finished your school work. She said you weren’t allowed to go out today and you could go out with them tomorrow instead, you tried to explain to her that most of your friends would be out of the country but she said you shouldn’t argue with her as she was your mother, and that she had a reason for saying no. You asked her what the reason was and she said her teammates were coming over for teambuilding and she wanted you to help bring them drinks and buy food and snacks for them. You just nodded your head and said yes knowing there was no use arguing. By the time you got back her teammates were already there, you heard her teammate, Ingrid, compliment how good you are. But your Mami just dismissed it and said that it was just how you were. Her other teammate Lucia asked her if you played football, Alexia laughed and said she didn’t think so. Feeling a lump form in your throat, you dropped the bag of snacks to the floor, causing concern from the adults. You assured them you were fine and quietly announced to your mom that you were going to bed, your heart heavy with disappointment and a growing understanding of the reality of your relationship.

When you stepped into your room, the weight of disappointment and frustration became too much to bear. You collapsed onto your bed, letting the tears flow freely as you allowed yourself to finally break down. The floodgates of emotion opened, releasing the pent-up feelings of rejection, loneliness, and hurt that you had been holding back. With each sob, you felt a little bit of the burden lift from your shoulders, yet the ache in your heart remained, a constant reminder of the unmet longing for your mother's love and approval.

Why do I lie to those around me, insisting that your absence isn't your fault, when I know it is?

“Miss Sánchez, my mom can’t make it to my graduation, because she has some work issues.”

You were now 12 and graduating from Primary school, you knew you weren’t telling the truth but it was technically not a lie either. Your teacher asked if you wanted her to speak to your mom to ask her to come but you said it was okay and you knew your mom was busy that day. Your best friend, Zoe, did not believe you and asked you to tell her why your mom couldn’t come. You told her that she was just busy and that it wasn’t her fault because she was the captain and she had to help her teammates. Zoe said it was bullshit, and you agreed but you just couldn’t bring yourself to say it after all she was still your mom. Zoe asked you again why she actually couldn’t come and you finally told her the truth, that your Mom was training another girl the same age as you, and that the girls graduation was the same day as yours but her parents couldn’t make it so your mom promised the girl she would go instead. When the day of the graduation came, you didn’t even see Alexia in the morning as she said she was going to get breakfast with the girl, you looked in the mirror and thought to yourself,” Why didn’t she remember or keep or the promises she made for me but keeps the promises she makes for this girl. She didn’t even remember the fact she promise you she would be at your graduation, two weeks ago.”

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the day you'd confront her, letting the anger and hurt fuel your determination to rise above her absence. You knew you deserved better, and you vowed to become stronger, despite her shortcomings. Why do I constantly make excuses for your shortcomings, even though you never bother to show up for me?

And you... why do you harbor such animosity towards me that you refuse to even acknowledge my existence anymore?

“Hey, have you talk to your mom about the road trip yet?” Zoe asked. You said you haven’t had the time to, but the truth was your Mom was spending more time with Elena the girl whose graduation she went to and missed yours as a consequence, and hadn’t been talking to you for about a week , if you were still twelve you would have been sobbing your eyes out but you were now thirteen and realize what your mom was truly like to you. The only interaction you had was when she gave you money or you gave her something to sign, not that you didn’t try on your part you send her messages asking her if she wanted to go out for breakfast, lunch, dinner or even to just kick the ball around but she didn’t see it much less respond to it or said yes. You even resorted to leaving notes on the table but when you came back home instead of seeing a reply the note was in the trash. You were very sure she wouldn’t even notice your gone as the road trip was only for a week, and you wanted to test out your theory. So you asked her to give you a weeks worth of allowance when you finally saw her and agreed, probably because it meant she wouldn’t have to interact more with you.

When you came back from the road trip, you found that your theory was sadly accurate. Your mom hadn't even noticed you were gone. There were no inquiries about your trip, no excitement to hear about your adventures, no concern for your well-being. It was as if you had never left.

At first, the realization stung. You couldn't understand why your own mother seemed to harbor such animosity towards you, why she couldn't spare a moment to acknowledge your existence. But as the days passed, you began to accept the truth: your relationship with your mom was not what you had hoped it would be. She was more invested in Elena, more interested in her life and her accomplishments, than she was in yours.

It hurt, of course it did. But you were thirteen now, no longer the naive twelve-year-old who believed that her mom's love and attention were guaranteed. You knew better. And so, with a heavy heart but a steely resolve, you made a silent vow to yourself: you wouldn't waste any more time trying to win your mom's affection.

What did I do to deserve such disdain from my own flesh and blood?

“I didn’t do anything wrong Mom, she tried to take my necklace!” You tried explaining to your , mom. But she didn’t listen to you instead taking away your necklace and giving it to Elena, and telling her to go to the living room. Elena acted like an angel in front of her saying it was okay but when she walked out and your mom’s back was facing towards her she gave you a smirk as if saying now you know who she loves more. You tried explaining the situation again, but your mom said she didn’t want to listen to you and that she was so disappointed that she raised such a selfish and jealous daughter. You wanted to protest and state your case but you gave up knowing there was no point, you were now fourteen you told yourself it would just be four years until your out of this emotional hell hole and you would be with the person who treated you like her actual daughter. The person who gave you the necklace Elena took.

What flaw in me is so repulsive that you would rather speak to her than to me, your own daughter?

“Mom, can I talk to you about football tatics,?” you asked. You asked Alexia about football tactics, hoping to bond over something you both enjoyed, but she brushed you off, claiming she was too busy. You said it was okay and continued to read, when you heard the phone ring, Alexia had answered with a “Hola,Pequeña” and you knew she was talking to Elena, as Elena was the only one she called Pequeña, she defiteniley didn’t call you that or anyother nickname in the first place. Hell she doesn’t even acknowlege your her daughter unless she’s scolding you and telling you how she couldn’t believe she raised you.

Feeling rejected once again, you retreated to your room, wondering what flaw in you was so repulsive that your own mother would rather speak to someone else.

You lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling, the weight of her indifference pressing down on you like a heavy blanket.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you tried to make sense of the situation, to understand what was so wrong with you that she would rather speak with her instead. But you went to your bathroom wipe your tears, and reminded your self you were now fifteen and that when you were twelve you vowed to yourself that you would no longer allow Alexia's indifference to define you.

And despite all the hurt and disappointment you've caused, why do I still cling to the hope that one day, you'll finally be there for me, even though you've never shown any inclination to do so in the past?

“Mom, I have an important football match today, can you come to support me?” You asked, your voice tinged with a flicker of hope despite the years of disappointment weighing heavy on your heart.

Alexia glanced up from her phone, her expression distant as she muttered something about being busy and needing to focus on her and Elena’s own training. The familiar sting of rejection pierced through you once again, but you quickly masked your disappointment with a forced smile.

Deep down, you knew better than to expect her to show up. You knew the pattern all too well — your mother's absence, her lack of interest in your life, her constant prioritization of others over you. But still, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, a small part of you clung to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

As you made your way to the football field, your heart heavy with the weight of unmet expectations, you tried to push aside the nagging doubts and convince yourself that today would be the day she finally showed up for you. But deep down, you knew the truth — that no matter how much you wished for her presence, she would never be there to cheer you on, to celebrate your victories, or to comfort you in your defeats.

And yet, despite all the hurt and disappointment she had caused, despite the countless times she had let you down, you couldn't help but cling to the hope that one day, she would finally be there for you. It was a hope born from a deep-seated longing for a mother's love and approval, a hope that refused to die despite the harsh reality of your relationship. Even though you promise yousrelf that you would stop, but this was her last chance, you were now seventeen but was turning eighteen soon and she didn’t take it, so you knew your decision.

After the game, that you won, you looked into the stands even though you knew no one would be there to your surprise, the women you met at a match your mom played, who then became the person who treated you like her actual daughter was there.

Her warm smile and enthusiastic applause filled you with a sense of validation and belonging that you had longed for but never received from your own mother.

As you made your way over to her, she enveloped you in a tight hug, congratulating you on your victory and praising your performance on the field and telling you that she couldn’t wait until you joined her to play in arsenal. The person who treated you like her actual daughter and the person you call Ma when you talked to, was Leah Williamson. In that moment, surrounded by her genuine affection and support, you felt a sense of relief wash over you — a sense of relief that you no longer needed to rely on your mother's approval to feel valued and loved.

I just wish one day I'll have enough courage to let go of the futile longing for your love and acceptance, and to find the strength to accept that you may never change, no matter how much I yearn for your presence in my life.

“You ready to go yet?” Your Ma asked you. You told her to give you a few minutes, you look around your now barren room, all the memories flooding back.

The first time you made it into a football team,

"Mom, I made it into the school’s football team."

"That's nice, honey," Alexia replied absentmindedly, her eyes glued to the screen.

"But you promised you'd pick me up today," you reminded her, your excitement dampened by her lack of attention.

"I know, sweetie, but something came up. The helper will take care of you," she said, barely sparing you a glance.

Disappointed but hopeful, you waited until dinner to share your news, hoping for a moment of connection.

"Not now, I'm busy," Alexia brushed you off, immersed in her work.

Crestfallen, you retreated to your room, the weight of her indifference pressing down on you.

"Why doesn’t she care?" you whispered to yourself, tears welling in your eyes. "Why can't she just be proud of me?"

The last day of school when you were eleven,

"Mami, can I go to the arcade with my friends? It’s the last day of school," you asked, longing for a moment of fun.

"Not today, darling," Alexia replied, her attention divided between you and her phone call.

"But I finished all my work," you protested, desperate for her approval.

"I said no. End of discussion," she declared, her tone final.

Defeated, you resigned yourself to another night at home, your heart heavy with disappointment.

Your graduation when you were twelve,

"Mom, why can't you come to my graduation?" you asked, masking the hurt in your voice.

"I have a work commitment, sweetie," Alexia replied, her words ringing hollow.

"But you promised," you whispered, the weight of her broken promises crushing you.

As the day of your graduation arrived, you watched as Alexia left to attend another girl's ceremony, leaving you behind.

"Why does she always choose someone else over me?" you wondered, the sting of rejection burning deep.

When Elena took your necklace, and she took her side,

"I didn’t do anything wrong, Mom," you insisted, your voice trembling with emotion.

"I don't want to hear it," Alexia cut you off, her disappointment palpable.

"Why won't you listen to me?" you pleaded, tears streaming down your cheeks.

As you stood in your room, the silence echoed around you, a painful reminder of your mother's absence.

"Mom, please," you begged, your voice breaking with emotion.

But there was no answer, only the emptiness of your own heartache.

With all this memories flooding back to you, you decided to write her a letter,

Dear Alexia,

As you can see i’m no longer calling you mom. Since I was ten i’ve been making excuses as to why you didn’t care for me, I remember the times when I reached out to you, hoping for even a semblance of acknowledgment, only to be met with silence and indifference. Like when I excitedly told you I made it into the school's football team, only to have you brush me off, too busy with your own affairs to spare a moment for me. Or when I asked if I could go to the arcade with my friends, hoping for a moment of fun together, only to be shut down without a second thought.

I've bent over backwards to fulfill your every request, hoping against hope that maybe this time, you would see me, truly see me, and be proud of me. But time and time again, I've been met with disappointment and heartache.

I've lied to those around me, insisting that your absence isn't your fault, when deep down, I know it is. I've made excuses for your shortcomings, trying to shield you from judgment, even though you've never bothered to show up for me.

And I've wondered, time and time again, what flaw in me is so repulsive that you would rather speak to someone else than to me, your own daughter. I've cried myself to sleep, wondering why you harbor such animosity towards me, why you refuse to even acknowledge my existence anymore.

But despite all the hurt and disappointment you've caused, I still cling to the hope that one day, you'll finally be there for me. That one day, you'll see me for who I am and love me unconditionally, just like in the stories.

But I've come to realize that hope can be a dangerous thing, especially when it's placed in someone who may never change. So I'm writing this letter to let you know that I no longer need to cling to that hope. I no longer need to yearn for your love and acceptance, because I've found it elsewhere.

I've found it in the woman who treated me like her own daughter, who was there for me when you weren't. I've found it in the friends who have stood by me through thick and thin. And most importantly, I've found it within myself.

I hope that I have fulfil your wished that I no longer disappoint you as I’m no longer your problem or yours’s anymore as I finally have enough courage to let go of the futile longing for your love and acceptance, and to find the strength to accept that you may never change, no matter how much I yearn for your presence in my life

So ,

this is goodbye

Sincerely,

Y/N

[e-hv]

so good

Celebrating you | Kyra Cooney-Cross

Pairing: Kyra Cooney-Cross x Reader

Summary: Celebrating Kyra's birthday.

A/n: Happy birthday to our one and only KCC! Thank you @totaly-obsessed for talking about this fic with me :)

Masterlist | Woso masterlist | Words: 1k

-----

You were busy making Kyra’s favourite breakfast, while she was still sound asleep in your bed. For Valentine’s Day yesterday you had gone out for dinner, so you thought you’d switch it up today, and put the focus on breakfast instead. It wasn’t long until you had the table filled with your girlfriend’s favourites, you checked everything over one last time, wanting everything to be perfect. It was your first time celebrating Kyra’s birthday since you started dating, as well as it had been your first Valentine’s day together yesterday. 

Once you had looked everything over, and were happy with the result, you heard Kyra starting to wake up in the other room. She was stretching her arms out when you walked into the room. “Good morning birthday girl.” You said as you sat down next to her. She smiled and moved her head into your lap, “Good morning.” Her raspy morning voice was like music to your ears, you just loved it so much. “I’ve made your favourites for breakfast.” Her eyes widened, “Hash browns, avocado toast, oh or vegemite on toast?” You smile knowing you have done right by her. “All of the above, my love.” When she realised that you had not made a favourite, but all of her favourites she was quick to get up, faster than you had ever seen her do before.

“Happy birthday, baby, I hope you like breakfast.” You say revealing the table to her. “It’s perfect, thank you.” She reached for your hand and dragged you to the table, not wanting to waste a single moment not enjoying the amazing food that you had made. “This is so good.” She says after every bite of a different dish that she tried, and it was warming your heart how thankful she was for the small gesture. 

The gesture might have seemed small in your eyes, but for Kyra it meant the absolute world. In previous relationships her birthday had just kind of passed by, the excuse being that it was Valentine’s Day the day before, and that was enough celebrating. They either didn’t want to spend money on gifts for separate days, or told her to choose for which one she wanted to do something. The two of you had spent yesterday exchanging gifts, spending time together, and going out for dinner, so Kyra didn’t expect anything today. 

It was when you pulled out a gift from the chair next to you, that her emotions got the best of her. You quickly place the present on the table, and stand up to comfort her. “What’s wrong, my love?” You wrap your arms around her, and rub your hands over her back soothingly. “You got me a gift.” With a slight furrow in your brow you respond. “Yes, of course. It’s your birthday.” You didn’t understand why she was surprised until she told you about how she had been treated in the past. 

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. How could they just ignore her birthday, and not find it worth it to celebrate things with her two days in a row. You would celebrate Kyra every single day of the year, for the rest of your life, without a second thought. 

Your hands move to cup her cheeks, and wipe away her tears. “Well, yesterday was about celebrating our love, and today is about celebrating you.” After kissing her on her forehead, you bring her in for another hug. “I love you, and I want to celebrate you in every way, always.” The smile was back on Kyra’s face, “Thank you, you are the best. I love you too.”

After she opened the gift that you got her, and told you how much she loved it, the two of you cleared the table. “So, I was thinking we could head back to your place, and spend the day there. How does that sound?” She smiles and nods, “As long as I’m spending my birthday with you, I am happy.”

After showering and changing out of your pyjamas, you drive the both of you over to her place. The drive was short, but you grasped every opportunity to have a car concert. Of course, Strawberry Kisses had to be the first song, and you both loudly sang along. 

When you got to her place, you grabbed the bags, and told her to walk ahead. She had no idea what was about to hit her, since you had been able to keep the secret well hidden, you were able to film her reaction. So, as you’re walking a few steps behind her, you take out your phone and start recording. 

Kyra opens the door, not suspecting a thing, when all of a sudden she hears “Surprise!”, and she is suddenly surrounded by confetti. She looks around to you with tears in her eyes, “You did all of this?” She looked truthly happy by the surprise, and that’s all you wished for. “It was my idea, but Mini helped set everything up.” Kyra goes around and hugs her friends. You wanted to give her a piece of home for her birthday, so you had invited Katrina, Clara, Harper, and Charli. 

You had bought all the decorations and dropped them off at Mini’s place a few days prior, so that Kyra wouldn’t accidentally find them. She was the one that put all the decorations up, and was the one picking up the cake you had pre-ordered, so today wouldn’t have been possible without her help. 

Hearing Harper sing happy birthday to Kyra was the most adorable thing ever, and your heart melted at the interactions between the two of them. You knew how important the people in this room were to her, and were so glad that they all lived in London now, so that they would be able to spend more time together. 

“How are you enjoying your birthday, my love?” You asked her while the two of you cleaned up the plates from the birthday cake. “It is honestly the best birthday ever, thank you so much for everything.” She walks closer to you and wraps her arms around you. “Thank you.” You hold her tight, “Of course, anything for you, my love.”

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[e-hv]

Maybe

this is a repost cause i deleted most of my fics except up which was for a friend

Alexia Putellas X Reader

Tw: Cheating ,Angst

Summary: Maybe in another life

“I never thought i’ll see you with out me ,but i also never thought i’ll be seeing you at your wedding marrying her. My best friend”

You were going through your mail in the morning when you saw an the invitation, from Jane to her wedding with Alexia. You decided you weren’t going to go, unfortunately the universe had other plans for you. When you got to the training grounds, your teammates were already talking about Alexia’s wedding. You knew about her engagement to Jane, after all it happened right after Barcelona won the champions league, the proposal for all to see including you.

You greet your teammates and went to stretch, but when Alexia came in and reminded the girls to RSVP for the wedding before 25th of June, and then asked you if you received the invitation for Jane it was when it all went downhill. You said yes , but that you were not going to the wedding.

She had the nerve to ask why and stated that Jane was your best friend and really wanted you to come, and that you shouldn’t hold grudges for things that didn’t really matter. You told her that you had made your decision and that you weren’t going, when Mapi chimed in, that you should come to the wedding, it’s childish to not come to your best friends wedding just because you used to date Alexia. You didn’t want to hear anymore stupid reasons so you just said you will RSVP today after training, and walked to the weights.

It was the day of the wedding ,you wore a simple dress and attended it. When it was time for the wedding ceremony you wondered if it was too late to walk out, but you decide against it. When they exchange their vows you wanted to cry, because everything Alexia said you thought would be said at your wedding with her. But you took a deep breath, and blink to get rid of the tears, after the Wedding ceremony, Jane and Alexia went up to you, you gave them your well wishes and congratulated them on their marriage even though you wish they would just disappear from your life.

“Maybe it’s my fault for believing in you”

“Hey hermosa, what are you reading.” Alexia asked.

“I’m reading a book, where the girl gets dumped by her girlfriend for her best friend.”

“Why are you reading a book like that ?”

“Dunno, was just feeling sad, but I know you won’t do that to me.”

“Of course, not why would you ever think, that i’ll never leave you it’s you and me forever.”

Alexia said, and you believed her, because why would she lie, in your eyes she was the perfect girl, who you couldn’t believe loved you.

“Maybe it’s my fault for falling into that day.”

It was your first day at Barcelona, you wanted to make a good impression on your teammates. Hence why you were, looking at your phone trying to find the locker room. When you trip and fell into someone, they spilled their coffee. It was Alexia, you apologized profusely, she said it was okay and asked if you were the new signing to which you said yes to. She asked if you needed help finding the locker room and you said yes.

“ Maybe i shouldn’t have trust you when you said you’ll love me forever”

It was your one year anniversary, you and Alexia had reservations for an expensive restaurant. You decided you were going to tell her you love her today. You decided to wear a black dress and when Alexia saw you you knew it was the right decision because she couldn’t stop staring at you. When you got to the restaurant, you took a seat at your table and asked Alexia how lunch with Mapi was she said it was fun, and she had a great time talking to her. When the waiter came she ordered for both of you. She was in the middle of telling you about a football tactic she thought of when you blurted out, “I love you.” She stop talking, and just stared at you, you took that as a bad sign and immediately said, “I’m so sorry you just looked so pretty talking about something your so passionate about and I wasn’t thinking straight, but you don’t need to say it back but I just wanted you to know I love you.” you quicly say.

Alexia gazed into your eyes and said, “You don’t need to worry about me not saying it back, I was pretty sure I was in love with you after our first date, and I know I’ll love you forever, I’ll never hurt you.”

And you trusted her, because she was the first person you said I love you too and if you were that in love with her you decided that you should be able to trust her especially when she said stuff like.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have ask you for your number to buy you the coffee i made you spilled”

After your first day at Barcelona, you asked Alexia for her number so you could buy her another coffee to make up for the one you made her spill. She said it was a date, and you blushed. She gave you her number and you asked her if she wanted to meet you Saturday morning to get coffee and she agreed. You guys talked a lot, it was you mostly asking her about what Barcelona was like and her replying. After you pated ways she texted you asking you out on an official date.

“Maybe i shouldn’t have introduced you to her”

You were having lunch with Jane she came to Barcelona to see you. You guys were talking when she ask to meet Alexia she said she wanted to see the girl who captured your heart. You told her you’ll introduce Alexia to her on Wednesday. You asked Alexia is she wanted to meet Jane and she said sure. So you introduced them on Wednesday and they talked the whole time basically ignoring you. But you told yourself it was normal as Alexia was just trying to get to know Jane because she was your best friend and vice versa.

“Maybe i shouldn’t have asked you to spend time with me Maybe i shouldn’t have asked you to buy me flowers during valentines Or maybe i shouldn’t have been a fool to think that you not doing romance or spending time with me was just how you were “

It was valentines day, you asked Alexia if she wanted to do something with you. She said that she had to call someone and was busy. So you decided to read instead, when you saw that Alexia was going out, you ask her where she was going she said she was going to the supermarket and you asked her if she could buy you flowers. She laughed and said that she wouldn’t and it was pathetic that you asked her that. Once she drove off, you started crying wondering what you did wrong and told yourself she was just not a romantic person and that you were over reacting.

It was your birthday today, you were turning 25, you woke up and saw Alexia dressing up you asked her where she was going. She said she was going to meet a friend, you asked her if she remembered what day it was and she got irritated and told you that you should just tell her and not make her guess and that she doesn’t want to know. You wanted to cry but reminded yourself that it was your birthday and you shouldn’t be said today. So you decided to go to the bookshop and then go eat at your favorite restaurant. You texted Alexia that you would be home by six.

You finish eating early and when you reached the front of the house it was only 5:20, when you stepped inside you heard Jane’s voice and smiled. You though that Alexia didn’t forget your birthday and was actually surprising you with your best friend. Little did you know it was quite the opposite, when you reached the living room you saw them kissing each other. You dropped the bag you were holding on to. They looked at you, and Alexia immediately apologize and told you she was sorry. You asked how long it had been going on and Jane said it had been 5 months, and then she said it wasn’t their fault that they were in love and that Alexia was never truly in love with you. You saw red and tried to slap Jane, Alexia stopped you and asked you not to be so selfish and that you should just accept the truth, she also said she was breaking up with you and asked you to move your things out of the house by Monday. You walked out of the house and booked a hotel room.

“Maybe then i wouldn’t have been so hurt to see you do everything thing i ever wanted from you to her”

It had been a month since you guys broke up and you didn’t tell anyone what happened, all your teammates thought Alexia broke up with you, but didn’t know she cheated. You tried to tell yourself that it was actually okay cause, you wanted someone who could romance you and Alexia wasn’t like that. But then you saw Janes Instagram post, of Alexia giving her flowers and bringing her to a restaurant, and then you saw Alexia’s comment and her own Instagram post. You unfollowed both of them and switched of your phone, then went to sleep. You thought doing that will stop you from seeing the two of them how stupid that was, the next day Jane showed up after practice, and kissed alexia. You just rolled your eyes and tried to ignore them, but Jane said hi to you and everyone was staring at you so you said hi back, and walked to your car. But it wasn’t just seeing their interactions in person, it was seeing it everywhere online whether it be on twitter, Instagram, TikTok or tumblr they were there what made it worse was all the comments about how they were perfect for each other.

Three months later,they were engaged every news outlets featured their engagement photo and everyone congratulated them.

“But Maybe Just Maybe In another lifetime i wouldn’t be so stupid to fall for you”

After congratulating them you left the venue, and went home. You checked the time then took your luggage and headed to the airport, you look at the now barren house and closed the door. While waiting for the announcement for your flight. You thought about everything that happened, while you were devastated about everything that happened, you also knew that you had to accept the truth. But you still hoped that maybe in another lifetime you wouldn’t be so stupid to fall for her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? This is a final boarding announcement for passengers traveling on flight GA123 to London. All passengers should proceed immediately to gate 12A, as boarding is now closing. Once again, flight GA123 to London is now boarding at gate 12A. Thank you”

You snapped out of your thoughts and boarded your flight, and as the plane soared into the skies, carrying you away from the shattered pieces of your heart, you whispered to the winds of fate,

"Maybe in another lifetime, I'll find the courage to write my own love story worth telling.”

[e-hv]

Hi, sry that this shit happens... a lot of my favourite writers stopped posting / deleted their blogs because of some bullshit on tumblr.

Hope you come back 🙏 love your fics ❤️

i just remembered i could block ppl cause a friend reminded me so yea hopefully they don't have some other accounts or i'll just delete the account for real this time and just post on dian dian instead

plus i listen to hozier so i feel better even though i still have a headache from them

but i'll repost the fics

also if you know ppl who write smut or blog is 18+ tell me i'm blocking them thank you

[e-hv]

i’m not asking you to post this, but i would like to put things into a little bit of perspective as someone who collected 1,000 followers and deleted my blog because of the whole minors thing. This isn’t me trying to hate, or trying to be rude, so please don’t take offense to this!

when i was young, i interacted with adults through the internet and they exposed me to a lot of things that i shouldn’t have been exposed to. personally, i don’t want to know or actively talk to someone who is a minor and consuming what i write, even if it isn’t smut. That’s a boundary of mine, and i know that kids are going to see this stuff anyway as it is the internet, but i don’t want to be the one exposing them to it.

i believe that the people who are being blocked are the ones that are actively speaking about their ages, fangirling over the work that is clearly stated to be for adults/18+, etc. i’m not saying that writing about real people is right, which is in fact another reason that i stopped, but i do ask that you keep in mind that people have boundaries and ask that you try to respect them. Complaining about your age and being blocked isn’t going to get you anywhere.

once again, i apologize if this is offensive in any way, as that isn’t how i intend this to be. Instead, i hope this ask puts a little bit more perspective into the decisions of me and some of my friends. Thank you for your time!

I get that you guys have boundaries and stuff but the thing is some of the ppl you block you followed them first some of them woke up one day to see that they were block. We get that you don't want to be the one to expose us to this but some of us like me are turning 18 like soon and have never even interacted with 18+ stuff and only followed you guys for your angst and fluff.

and you also stated that you believe that the people who are being blocked are the ones that are actively speaking about their ages, fangirling over the work that is clearly stated to be for adults/18+, etc. well some (most) of us never have cause you guys are blocking us writers.

you guys also have to see it from our perspective cause one day everything is fine then suddenly the ppl in the server gets ask their age anonymously not even explaining to ask why. and then suddenly they get block and then someone posts something talking about the issue , the person will obviously feel targeted. I get that that wasn't what you guys meant to do.

But also you guys are adults even if you did not want to interact with us you could have at least told someone you know we talk to why you guys are doing this before you ask or blocked us we would have understand but no you guys decided to post shit before asking.

And also some of you block someone without even finding out if the stuff being said about her is true or not now they have basically stop posting or responding to people including their friends.

you guys do realize that's cyber bullying right ?

Anyways thank you for explaining your side to us

[e-hv]

same like what do you mean by saying you would date me but then saying i'm not your type

PLEASEEEE I JUST WANT A GIRLFRIENDDDD WOMEN ARE SO CONFUSING

[e-hv]

I have a pdf copy of cleat cute i can send it if you want

is there anyone who reads books? whether it would be fanfiction, or booktok basically.

can you send me a list of your recommended books? more specifically, wlw books. :)