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Dealing with an Insecure Partner.

Have you ever dealt with an insecure man? Do you have to keep reassuring him left and right? It’s fuckin’ exhausting. 

I’ve always been the insecure one. I’ve always wanted the reassurance. I would get ANXIETY not hearing from him, not knowing where he is or where he is going... “Who is he with?” “Who is he texting?” “Who is in his DMs?” I didn’t even know how to act. 

But the tables have turned for me. I’m in a whole new world. Being in this position not only made me realize how needy I was before but it is even harder to deal with it and find ways to give him that peace. This is even more stressful than being the insecure one! Why? Because I fuckin’ love this motherfucker. I’m IN LOVE with him. How the fuck am I in love with someone who is so insecure? Someone who questions my loyalty, efforts, and love? I am bending over backwards for this man and he has the balls to question ME?! Fuck that. 

Being a part of a relationship where the roles have switched is needed in your lifetime. I was stuck in my ways for many, long, stressful, and painful years. I believed that everything in that relationship should revolve around me. I blamed myself for why things were not going well but also knew I was the reason why things were good when they were good. It was always ME, ME, ME. Reality definitely knocked me when I started dating the insecure one. I saw how hard it is to prove to someone that this is real. I didn’t realize how hard it was to show someone how amazing, handsome (or beautiful), and awesome they are and actually having them BELIEVE IT. 

This was a hard lesson learned for me. I had to adjust my ways. It was time to compromise. Not only did some of my actions require me to also think of my partner’s point of view, I had to realize the impact it will make on us as a couple. It’s not always about me. It’s not always about them. There are fine lines that can be drawn between me, you, and us. It will take time to find where to draw that line, how to draw that line, and what to draw that line with. It is not easy. No the fuck it’s not. But today, we have lost a lot of patience and efforts. If this person is worth it, fuckin’ do it. 

Anyway, I can’t deny it but some ways to help deal with the insecurities require SACRIFICE. You’ve got to change your ways. Whether you’re sacrificing your time, your pride, your Facebook, your Snapchat, your money, your friends, and maybe your family, you’ve got to give something up. Channel some additional energy to hype your partner up. Tell them they look good as fuck. Compliment them... just don’t overdo it to the point where it just seems extra. LISTEN to them. Don’t get defensive every time they are trying to explain their weakest point but up to a certain extent... don’t allow repetitions. It’s not fair for you to keep listening to the same thing over and over and over again even if you’re not doing anything to trigger the insecurity. Take time out of your day to come up with new solutions. TALK about it. Give them your thoughts and see if they are willing to meet you halfway. This is a relationship. You give and you take.

Know your worth. Know your partner’s worth. Like I said, this is a little give and take. You both are equals in this relationship. My goal isn’t for you to forget who you are or stop what you’re doing for your partner. I just want you to see it from another angle because sometimes your angle isn’t always right. Everyone has different limits and only you know YOU best. Don’t lose sight of yourself when someone else is insecure about you. Fuck that.