effluentbalatron-blog

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-- gunhardyTemerity [GT] began pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 22:51 -- GT: Well howdy doodle egberto. GT: Have you got a moment for a chat chap? EB: hey jake. EB: i have all the time in the world as of right now. GT: Oh you do? Thats swell! GT: I guess youre settling nicely at your old house? GT: Be sure to send photos yeah? Id love to see the home of the legend that started it all. EB: sure. i can do that. GT: Not right away of course... when youre doing better and all! EB: i think i can manage to take some comm pictures of a few (relatively) benevolent harlequins. GT: OH BOY. GT: (Relative) benevolent harlequins are my very favorite kind! :D EB: *doctor jingles.png.* EB: *whistles the clown.png.* EB: i hope that tickles your fancy, my dude. EB: it was never really my thing but they're alright i guess. EB: *a whole lot of fucking figurines.jpg.* GT: Hah! Hahaha! OH MAN. GT: I love this whimsical collection of fellows! GT: Theyre so cheerful and full of good spirits! GT: Its men like these that id like to have at a party im not sure about you. EB: pfft. what a party that would be. you, my dad and a bunch of "funny men" as he'd call them. GT: Thats a keeper. Hehehehe! GT: But where would you be? EB: i think i'd skip it. no offense. GT: Even if i were there? Id be sure to make it fun for the two of us bro. GT: Do you trust me or do you trust me?? EB: jesus, dude. i'd have to be a heartless monster to say no to that. GT: HEAR HEAR. GT: So... GT: How are things in the homefront? Anything like you remember? EB: not much changes in this part of the world, jakey. and i like it that way. EB: it's good. it's safe. EB: cold as balls. EB: roxy cleaned the place up pretty good. she's been helping me out. EB: is ruleus ok? GT: Ru the man us has really taken to his own here! I mean... hes sort of claimed our room as his new territory and it certainly doesnt help that citrins gone and supported his new authority. GT: He sure likes the twins though! Who would have thought? EB: oh. i'm glad it's working out. EB: i've been trying to teach him about gentle touches. GT: He sure likes to teach citrin all he knows! EB: hehe. they're such cute lil buddies. GT: Needless to say hes a cutie pie... and youre doing a great job. EB: thanks but EB: i dunno. EB: i freaked out and left him there. i know he's fine with you guys. and probably doesn't even notice but. EB: well. i know. GT: Hey now... GT: It doesnt seem like the effort matters much but. Rest assured. GT: Its something that looks entirely different from his perspective. GT: Hes just a kiddo after all. And youre being a good daddy not showing him anything but the love. EB: i hope that's how he sees it. GT: One day hell understand but until then? Youre only human john bomb. The best kind of human being there is! EB: i don't see how you can actually think that. EB: ugh. sorry. EB: you're just trying to help. GT: Dont be sorry broseph. GT: I... GT: Well. GT: :( GT: I think about sollux quite a lot. GT: If i werent some bumbling oaf with a wasteful of magic power maybe hed still be here. EB: i mean. of course you think about him. EB: he was special to you. and it hasn't been that long. EB: not that it really matters how long it's been either. EB: and...another thing. EB: this magic stuff is a bunch of bullshit! EB: they didn't teach us how to use it or anything. it doesn't matter how powerful we are if we don't know what to do. or when to do it. EB: how are you supposed to know? how am i supposed to know? GT: Well... GT: Its just... GT: Im awful sorry john. If i knew the answer or what to say i would sure try to say it. GT: But ive been so lost and frankly befuddled with how convoluted this magic business is. GT: I think i have been since the beginning. GT: And... im sorry for how complicated it makes things. EB: no, jake. don't be sorry. i just. i was trying to say that... EB: i don't even know. i just feel really angry about it all. and i'm just as confused as you are. GT: Thats alright bub. GT: For what its worth i... know youre trying your best. And i fully believe youre a good person coming out of all of this. GT: If you have your flaws and all... so what? So long as you try to do the right thing in the end? EB: i'm grateful that you think that. and i mean. i'm grateful people are still on my side and stuff. you, and roxy. and kankri. and dad. EB: but at the same time. it's like. EB: i don't know if i actually can. to be honest, dude. EB: ever since i got on the ship i never actually wanted to leave. no matter what terrible shit would happen, i never thought i'd take ruleus and cut out. EB:  even when feferi died. EB: but now i am thinking about it. a lot. even though i am really trying not to. EB: i don't wanna go back to the ship. or be the doctor anymore. GT: And... GT: Whats wrong with all that? EB: what do you mean? GT: You know id still love and respect the hell out of you bro? Even if you did drop and call it quits. EB: but it's a fucking terrible thing to think about. i already promised i'd try to keep everyone safe. after everything everyone has been through, after the sacrifices everybody made. and the people that have died fighting in the war? GT: I... GT: I know. GT: I felt this way too when uhm. GT: I thought of the possibility that dirk wouldnt wake up. EB: oh. GT: It was just me citrin and the twins i felt. What... what was i going to do? What was i good for? EB: aw jake...:( EB: that's different, buddy. your situation is differnet. GT: I couldnt pull it together. I couldnt be someone the world counted on! But... GT: Why was any of this worth sacrificing my kiddies without their dads? I... I was them. EB: i'd never judge you for that. GT: I was the one growing up on my lonesome and wondering what it is that was so terrible about myself... that i felt... GT: Maybe i wasnt enough to keep my grandma with me. It was an atrocious feeling! It still is! GT: So no!!! I dont think theres anything wrong with letting yourself feel this sort of hullabaloo weakness! EB: i'm confused as hell about how i feel. EB: but i can see what you mean. i think...coming from you it's easier. EB: i'm not saying i am actually going to quit. but. GT: Aw buddy... It just... GT: I understand. It just... feels as though it stops being about you and what you want. Mayhaps its easier to focus on what someone who needs you wants instead. EB: mayhaps. EB: thanks jake. GT: I love you! EB: i love you too, bro. GT: I wish i could swoop the hell in and scoop you in a big ole hug! GT: Id spend the night with you easily. :( EB: hehe i miss our movie nights. EB: though i wouldn't mind if the entire dirkjake clan plus ruleus descended on my dad's poor house. EB: it's fun to think about anyway. GT: Whos to say they wont??? I reckon the whole clan ought to travel around and see the sights! EB: who wouldn't want to see snowy picturesque maple valley wa. we have skating. beavers. and old people riding street legal snow blowers. GT: Sounds like a dream! EB: we also now have roxy lalonde. GT: You mean she was missing before? GT: PSHHAW. EB: i'm really confused now. do you know something i don't. GT: Roxyandra Lalonde is a key ingredient to any party gathering! EB: that i agree with. EB: you know who else we can add to the mix. EB: kankri! EB: your favorite. GT: Oh... EB: pff. GT: Yeah sure buddy! Whatever youd like! EB: hahahaha. GT: ;D EB: why are you winking. what's with the wink. GT: I made you laugh my bucko! EB: oh. EB: that was decidedly unrancorous of me, huh? GT: HUH HUH. I guess youre diddly damn so its unrancorous! EB: /rolls my goddamn eyes/ EB: okay. it's time for john to get some sleep. GT: You mean resting your handsome big pearly blues? You gotcha! GT: Ive got kiddies to systematically put to beddy bye now. GT: Youll be alright bro? EB: i honestly have no idea. but. i feel a little more hopeful about it now. EB: that's something i guess. EB: nah, not "i guess". it is something. GT: *Sniffle.* EB: don't cry. GT: I cant help it. D'8 EB: you big hairy baby. GT: I just miss you to pieces!!!!! EB: i hope you legitimately cry in front of dirk so he feels pressured to bring you here. GT: Dont say that because ill be tempted! GT: Dammit john. GT: Hit the hay would you?? EB: :) EB: ok. goodnight. EB: tell ruleus....nothing i guess because i don't want him to feel weird but. think "john misses you" loudly at him. -- effluentBalatron [EB] ceased pestering gunhardyTemerity [GT] at 01:00 --

[effluentbalatron-blog]

Send 📱 for five texts my muse didn't send yours, and one that they did

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-- circuitousGrievance [CG] began pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 22:45 -- CG: J9hn may I c9me 9ver? EB: yeah of course. EB: you okay? CG: I am fine, I just desire t9 6e in y9ur presence. CG: I will 6e 6y y9ur 6l9ck sh9rtly. EB: okie dokie artichokie! CG: *He is there a few minutes later, just as he said, and kankri knocks on the door to John's room. Whenever he anwers he will see Kankri standing there, tired looking, like hes been aged years by whatever is weighing on his mind. The end of his conversation with Horuss may have been light hearted, but that hadn't full errased the weight of the cloud of depression that had formed over Kankri.* EB: *Is it because he's gotten to know Kankri so well that he can take one look at him and immediately tell something is wrong or does Kankri just appear that shitty rn? John HAS A CONCERN, but instead of saying it right off the bat he offers a welcoming hug.* hey! CG: *He welcomly takes the hug and returns the embrace.* Hell9. I h9pe I am n9t interrupting y9u fr9m anything 6y c9ming 9ver. EB: *lol he has no social life lately.* 'course not. rules is sleepin. -squeezes Kankri to his tid an extra time and also offers a hair ruffle.* CG: *His hair is ruffled and Kankri offers a trying smile for the effort.* That is g99d. EB: ...-that pathetic attempt at a smile confirms his suspicions.- EB: you said you're okay but... EB: sorry man, you don't really look like it. EB: you wanna uh, sit down and talk? CG: *Hes been found out. Kankri sighs and rests his cheek on John's chest.* If it is alright 6y y9u can we start with the sitting and see where it g9es? CG: I ap9l9gize, I am feeling rather w9rn 9ut. EB: okay. fair enough. *releases him long enough to lead him towards the bed where they can chill.* CG: *Hes greatly appreciative of this, and when he can finally sit on it, Kankri feels like he could melt into the bedding. It smelled like John and that in itself was extremely comforting.* EB: *Plops on his belly, stretching out and scooting over to make room, though he can't help but grin a little at the way Kankri...collapses. RIP*. CG: *Rest in peace indeed. Hes very content with just laying here with his eyes closed for a few well appreciated minutes of silence.* CG: ........................... I traveled int9 the v9id with H9russ. EB: uh..... EB: what? EB: *o.o* CG: Yes that was my 9riginal reacti9n as well. *He sighs again and rolls over onto his side to better face John, even if he is still keeping his eyes closed.* He wanted t9 speak with me a69ut s9mething, 6ut his r969t f9rm w9uld n9t have 6een a6le t9 withstand the em9ti9nal distress he was feeling s9 he used a device t9 9pen up s9me s9rt 9f rift. CG: Its in the engineering department. The rift that is. I have n9 idea if any9ne else kn9ws a69ut it. EB: *gives him a wide eyed stare* well ...yeah i knew about it i guess. but i didn't know that regular people could just walk through it. i thought you had to have some kind of special powers or something. CG: Well....either I have s9me s9rt 9f unkn9wn p9wer dwelling within me. 9r the m9re likely senari9 is that just a69ut any9ne can g9 thr9ugh it. EB: *Files this information in the back of his mind for later...but right now he's more concerned about how this fucked Kankri up so badly.* EB: okay....so what happened? CG: 9nce we made it thr9ugh the terrifying travel 9f cr9ssing thr9ugh pure darkness 9n a seemingly destinati9nless path. We just appeared in this r99m, 9ne apparently H9russ had made bef9re c9ming int9 9ur relm 9f reality. CG: A w9rksh9p 9f s9rts. CG: 9nce there we sat and talked. He was highly upset a69ut having met the previ9us Empress 9f 6ef9rus earlier in the day, and claimed the intr9ducti9n did n9t live up t9 his expectati9ns and that he felt inc9mplete and p9intless as far as his existence g9es. CG: And then he pr9ceeded t9 ask me if I felt like my j96 here 9n this ship was w9rth anything, if my pr9fessi9n was truly making a change 9r difference, 9r if I als9 felt just as p9intless 9r inc9mplete since it is n9t as th9ugh any9ne ever c9mes t9 me with pr9fessi9nal advice. CG: He t9ld me a69ut h9w he wanted t9... fade 9ut 9f existence s9 t9 speak. And 6r9ught up the challenges and d9u6ts that c9me with merely existing in life 9r in his case death. CG: I managed t9 settle him eventually. CG: *Slowly opens his eyes to a squint. He has a small headache forming.* CG: It was a l9t t9 take in. EB: *listens to all of this carefully, his frown deepening as Kankri talks. Ouch.* EB: yeah...*rubs the back of his neck* you're not kidding. EB: that'd be a lot for anybody. CG: *Nods slowly.* Im s9rry t9 burden y9u with all 9f this s9 suddenly. EB: *pokes his cheek*. it's not a burden! CG: *Puts a hand to the poked cheek.* Are y9u certain? EB: *pokes him again, more firmly.* yes!!! EB: cuddling is nice and all...but talking is the main point of this thing we got going on, right? CG: *So much poking.* Mhh. Yes, that is true. EB: *releases his cheeks, although honestly he could poke them all day...they're chubby...* EB: so it's not a burden. it's just part of the package. EB: and...normally i'd say someone you haven't known very long unloading on you like that wasn't being very considerate but... EB: the guy is new here. he's lonely and desperate. EB: it sounds like he didn't have many other places to turn. EB: hard not to feel sorry for him too. CG: That is it exactly. He seems t9 have g9tten t9 6e rather f9nd 9f me rather quickly, that 6eing said I appreciate his friendship t99. I was just n9t expecting f9r 9ur c9nversati9n t9 6ec9me s9 seri9us s9 quickly. CG: I think I helped him res9lve... part 9f whatever was upsetting his m99d. And he seemed rather greatful. 6ut I am 9ddly really drained fr9m it. EB: maybe it was because he directed some of the questions back at you instead of just focusing on himself? CG: Perhaps that might 6e it... EB: or...? EB: *raises eyebrows.* CG: 9r.... *He trails off for a moment, looking away from John.* D9 y9u think that I'm d9ing s9mething, making a difference 9r just 6eing pr9ductive at all, with my j96 in c9unseling? EB: hmm..*pokes his tongue into his cheek, thinking about this. He knows better than anyone how few patients Kankri has had, since he's the Medical Director. And he knows how it makes Kankri feel too, even though he's never come out and said it bothers him.* EB: it's hard to say...because it's not my life. do you think if you got more patients, you'd feel more fulfilled? 'cause in that case it's a matter of fixing that problem. EB: but if not, maybe you shouldn't even be a counseler. you can do other things, you know. everybody all over the ship is switching departments and learning new things. CG: Im n9t sure. 6ut even if I did have m9re patients what if I didn't feel anym9re fufilled then I d9 n9w? And if I'm n9t a c9unsel9r then what else? I d9nt happen t9 have any 9ther skills that w9uld 6e deemed useful in any department. EB: well, regardless of skills...what do you like to do? EB: 'cause skills can always be learned. EB: i mean you don't have to have an answer right now. and you don't have to switch departments either. EB: but maybe it's something to start thinking about. CG: May6e. Als9 y9u are right, I pr96a6ly sh9uldnt attempt t9 make a decisi9n right n9w. CG: I will think a69ut it f9r the time it takes t9 answer th9se questi9ns. EB: ...*pauses for a sec and then brushes his palm against kankri's.* EB: by the way, you're not useless. even if you didn't do any kind of job on the ship you wouldn't be useless. a person's job isn't what makes them worth something. CG: *Without missing a beat when John's hand brushes against Kankri's he makes the move to interlock their fingers. And as he listens to what John has to say Kankri's eyes become misty to the point where he needs to blink the threat away.* Thank y9u. EB: *holds his hand as he lays there* it's all good, dude. -- circuitousGrievance [CG] ceased pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 01:07 --

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-- effluentBalatron [EB] began pestering ebironicCrest [EC] at 22:35 --

EB: dude!

EB: are you ok?

EB: i heard you got stabbed? stabbed yourself?

EB: where are you?

EC: im coasting the starline express bro

EB: dave sprite!!!

EC: yeah

EB: are you bleeding to death?

EC: hm

EC: nah

EC: im pretty alright

EB: um....

EB: well!

EB: then why did karkat just message me saying you had stabbed yourself and there was orange freaking blood everywhere???

EC: i dunno dude youre the xenobiologist

EC: peeps gotta trust you would be able to tell the distinct difference between sprite blood and sprite slime

EC: but yeah

EC: how he says it went went

EC: basically

EC: i got nothing on my end

EB: alright....so misunderstanding?

EB: he messaged me really freaked out, dude.

EB: he thought you were dying.

EB: he's having a panic attack.

EB: are you sure you're ok, though?

EC: yeah im fine

EC: wasnt a misunderstanding so much as me omitting some definite truths about myself

EC: and painting an image as exactly what it looked like to him

EC: plain and simple

EB: ok, so.

EB: just so we're clear.

EB: you pretended to stab yourself and even included fake blood just to freak karkat out make him think you were hurting yourself?

EC: no fake blood

EC: but yeah seppuku'd the fuck out of myself to get myself out of an awkward situation

EC: thats the gist of it dude

EB: why would you do that?

EB: karkat's a nice guy. he doesn't deserve that.

EC: i figured

EB: so why did you do it then?

EB: jesus christ!

EC: id pull out a laundry list of reasons why but

EC: theyre not really as important as the deed being done

EC: so

EB: no, man i'd really like to hear some.

EB: was it to hurt dave? or just to hurt somebody in general?

EB: to hurt you? make more people hate you?

EB: i mean they're all shitty reasons, but i'd still like to know which one is which.

EC: why would it hurt dave hes not even involved

EB: because karkat's his guy friend and they're really close.

EB: they just posted a really cute selfie like ten minuites ago.

EB: but that doesn't even matter.

EB: it doesn't matter who karkat is.

EB: like...

EB: i don't know, man. i've really liked hanging out lately but i can't just act like i am cool with the way you're treating people.

EB: traumitizing them and shit.

EC: ...john

EC: gay boyfriends dont translate to close guy fr--

EC: nvm topic at hand

EC: i knew what i was doing

EC: at the time i was kind of losing my shit and it just was not cool

EC: if cool was the americas i was way down in fucking tierra del fuego argentina

EC: and cool would be in etah greenland

EC: not even in america its almost european or something

EB: no, you know what dude... i don't care.

EB: i don't care if you were freaking out.

EB: i mean nice, you've got reasons to freak out but so does everyone else?

EB: i don't even know karkat that well, but karkat's seen people he loves die, and he's died himself too. so he has just as much of a reason to freak out sometimes as you do.

EB: and so does dave for that matter?

EB: but they don't take it out on people like you do.

EB: you're just being a fucking bully.

EB: and i'm tired of making excuses for you.

EC: fairs as fair as it gets egbert

EC: cant help you there

EB: i'll always be here. if you want to shape your shit up, you can anytime. and i'll be here.

EB: but until then like...fucking bye, bro.

EC: seeya

-- ebironicCrest [EC] ceased pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 23:15 --

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-- cranktankerousGeneticist [CG] began pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 22:31 --

EB: woah. this is a surprise. EB: hi karkat! CG: NO, SHUT UP. I FUCKING FUCKED ALL THE WAY UP AND THIS DUMBASS ORANGE PISSBIRD JUST FUCKING STABBED HIMSELF INTO THE PLANES OF NONEXISTENCE WHAT THE FUCK! EB: uh??? what??? EB: who got stabbed?

EB: stabbed themselves? 

CG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE WENT OR IF YOU HAVE SPRITE KNOWLEDGE BUT I'M PRETTY SURE I'M STANDING IN FRONT OF A PUDDLE OF HIS OWN SHITTY LIFE JUICE. CG: THE GODDAMN CG: DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKING DAVESPRITE SHITFUCK IS WHO! EB: oh cripes. okay. okay, got it! EB: karkat, don't worry. i'll find out where he is. CG: WHAT THE FUCK? I'M FUCKING. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING DO WITH THIS SHITTY PUDDLE OF RESIDUAL SHITBAG! CG: HE SANK IN THE FLOOR MAYBE THE LOWER LEVEL, I CAN HAVE BREAKFAST SNIFF HIM OUT. FUCK! EB: okay um, karkat! just try to take deep breaths and relax for now. i'm talking to him. he says he's alright. CG: WHAT? EB: yeah, he says what you saw is slime and not blood. CG: I SAW THE FUCKING SWORD JOHN! EB: wait, what sword? CG: HE STABBED HIMSELF WITH A GODDAMN SWORD WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN READING!! EB: oh. EB: oh my god. EB: karkat, you didn't see what you think you did. EB: he was being an asshole and manipulating you. EB: i am really sorry. i am going to have a talk with him. CG: ...TALK MY ASS I'M GOING TO FUCKING GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BLEED ABOUT! EB: no! EB: stay away from him. EB: that's just what he wants. EB: don't talk to him anymore, okay? EB: doctor's orders. EB: i'll handle this. CG: IF HE WANTED SOMEONE TO KICK HIS ASS ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS ASK HONESTLY. EB: like i said, you don't need to be talking to him. EB: he's EB: bad. EB: i'll talk to him. EB: he may or may not listen to me but i'll give it a try. CG: NO FUCK THAT JOHN I'M CONSIDERABLY INVESTED AT THIS POINT. CG: YOU TALK TO HIM. CG: GIVE IT A SHOT BUT I'M GOING TO BE THE PAIN IN HIS NEON ASS FROM NOW ON. EB: okay. well. i guess i can't really stop you. but be careful. EB: i thought i knew him but... EB: i don't anymore. EB: i can't really say what he's capable of. CG: WE KNOW HE'S CAPABLE OF BEING A DICK AND THAT'S A GOOD ENOUGH PLACE TO START. EB: yeah. that's definitley true. EB: there's still dave in there somewhere. little dave. CG: AT THE VERY LEAST HE'S WEARING HIS SHITTY PROBLEMS ON HIS SLEEVE AND COVERS THEM UP OVER THINLY VEILED BULLSHIT RAMBLINGS. CG: THAT'S THE DAVE PART. EB: haha, tbh??? EB: i'm really sorry. again. CG: IT'S FINE MAN IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. CG: FUCK. EB: grr... EB: anyway, i'll talk to you soon. updates and such. EB: try to take it easy. CG: ALRIGHT, THANKS. YOU TOO. -- cranktankerousGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 23:06 --

[effluentbalatron-blog]

SEND MY CHARACTERS A 💌 IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE THEIR ONLINE DATING PROFILE USING THIS TEMPLATE

[effluentbalatron-blog]

Memory Meme

Past experiences help shape who we are currently, how we see the world. Send in a symbol and I’ll write a drabble of one of my muse’s memories.

–

❥ - a childhood memory

♣ - a fading memory

✂ - a vivid memory

✖ - a repressed memory

✈ - an eye-opening memory

✤ - a memory that involves romance/love

☤ - a memory of death/loss

✍ - a memory of their mother

☽ - a memory of their father

✌ - a memory of a relative

↕ - a memory that may or may not have happened

♚ - a memory of something paranormal

♬ - a friend/best friend memory

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-------effluentBalatron [EB] began pestering circuitousGrievance [CG]--

EB: are you done hiding yet?

EB: heheheh.

CG: Perhaps. 

CG: I still find my pride and self respect to 6e s9mewhat still 6ruised.

EB: well, that's understandable. but you did basically get roofied.

EB: it's not your fault!

CG: That is als9 true.

EB: i wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.

EB: cut ties with all the lies that you been livin in!

CG: What? 

CG: Wait. Are these s9ng lyrics?

EB: yes!

EB: there's no troll version of third eye blind, huh?

CG: I'm n9t sure. It c9uld 6e that im just n9t familiar with their music.

EB: hmm yeah, true.

EB: anyway look up that song later, it's pretty good.

CG: I will add it t9 my t9 d9 list.

EB: how long is that thing by now? :O

CG: I currently have five items scheduled f9r t9day.

 CG: Make that six with the inclusi9n 9f researching that band.

EB: hahahah. oh man...

EB: that's cute as heck.

EB: what else are you up to?

CG: It is an 9rganizati9nal tactic. 

CG: Als9 currently I supp9se I am n9t up t9 much 9f anything. I am stati9ned in my 9ffice.

EB: do you have time for one more thing, then?

EB: there was something i wanted to talk to you about!

CG: 9h. 

CG: Well I think I can make time.

EB: good!

EB: awesome!

EB: heheh...

CG: What is it that y9u wanted t9 talk a69ut?

EB: well, first of all like...

EB: how much do you remember from when you were stoned out of your mind?

CG: I remem6er s9me m9ments 6etter then 9thers.

CG: I remem6er the hang9ver 6est 9f all.

EB: eat some eggs and greasy bacon next time!

EB: you'll feel at least 75% better. i promise.

EB: not that there will be a next time for that situation specifically

EB: hopefully.

CG: Thank y9u f9r the w9rds 9f advice. 

CG: In the event that it d9es happen I'll keep that in mind.

EB: heheheheh.

EB: anyways, i'm gonna be super blunt.

EB: when you were all tweaked out you said that you loved me.

EB: it's true, right? you do?

EB: love me, i mean?

CG: Ah. 

 CG: That

CG: I ap9l9gize if I made y9u unc9mf9rta6le.

EB: it was only uncomfortable because it wasn't your choice to tell me.

EB: if you're gonna say "i love you" it should always be sincere.

EB: btw, i love you too.

CG: 9h.

CG: Thank y9u. 

CG: I.

CG: I am having a m9ment where I am unsure what the w9rds I want t9 say 9r sh9uld 6e saying are.

EB: well, regardless of whether you actually feel the same way or not i think you should know how i feel.

EB: and that's it! i love you!

CG: Y9u keep saying it. 

CG: It's very nice t9 hear.

 CG: 6ut I th9ught y9u werent...

EB: weren't?

CG: Werent, uh, interested.

EB: in the moirail thing?

CG; Yes.

EB: well, yeah. i guess this will require some explaining.

EB: sorry about that

.EB: i don't mean to jerk you around.

EB: see, it's not like i wasn't interested. i just didn't let myself be interested.

EB: i was hung up on a lot of things

.EB: like i was pretty much convinced that humans don't have any use for quadrants, or at least i didn't have a use for them

.EB: also, i was convinced that i was only interested in people that were uh, female.

EB: not that gender really means the same thing to trolls, apparently?

EB: it's just stuff like that has connotations for humans that are franky a little scary for me?

EB: at least they were up until now

.EB: but i know  it's dumb! there's no one on the ship that would judge me for it anyway.

EB: i guess it was just like i didn't want even more things to change since things are already so different than i originally pictured them being.

EB: but i've kind of come to the concluson that things are already WILDLY different anyways.

.EB: and also.

EB: i seem to be attracted to boys. no matter how much  i might have wished i wasn’t.

EB: ANYWAY, like.

EB: regardless of whether this moirail thing ever happens with us, cuz i'm not gonna just assume you're still interested after i was sort of a dick about it

.EB: i'll still love you anyway and being in a quadrant or not won't change that.

EB: you're really important to me.

EB: i never want you to not be around.

CG: J9hn...

CG: Yes. T9 uh answer y9ur questi9n. Regarding the quadrant.

CG: A p9ssitive yes.

CG: Instead 9f.

CG: S9rry I am lacking any s9rt 9f el9quence right n9w.

EB: wait so you do want to try the quadrant thing?

CG: Yes. 

 CG: If y9u w9uld like t9 try it with me.

EB: yessssss.EB: :D

EB:  keep in mind you will still have to show me the ropes, haha.

CG: I will d9 my 6est. 6ut fear n9t 6ecause I'm n9t entirely 9verly experienced in this s9rt 9f thing either. 

CG: I kn9w the9reticals at least.

EB: oh yeah, you had that oath thing.

EB: at least we're somewhat on the same level, then.

CG: This is very true.

CG: And mildly c9mf9rting.

EB: you okay there? haha.

EB: you're not freaking out, are you?

CG: I am.

 CG: 6ut I d9 n9t think it is in a 6ad way.

EB: aww.

EB: well i'm sorry i was a dingus about it

EB:  i didn't mean to confuse you.

CG: It is 9kay.

 CG: It was c9nfusing, and a little frustrating, 6ut I d9nt find myself minding t99 much.

CG: I'm happy.

EB: me too!

EB: we should celebrate.

EB: if it's not too early for you, that is. .

CG: I d9nt think it is. 

CG: What s9rt 9f cele6rati9n did y9u have in mind?

EB: let's meet up in the atrium. we can have dinner. :)

CG: Yes I can d9 this.

EB:... are you sure you're ok???

EB: say something kankri ish so I know you didn't die, lol.

CG: I didn't die. 

 CG: Als9 what w9uld c9nsists 9f 6eing "Kankri ish?"

EB: Well actually, John I think this and this and this.

EB: hehe we'd better meet up before you come to your senses and block me.

CG: Well actually J9hn I think t9 6l9ck y9u w9uld n9t 9nly 6e a passive aggressive tactic that c9uld risk making y9u feel as th9ugh I am trying t9 punish y9u f9r y9ur acti9ns and 9r w9rds, 9r make it seem as th9ugh I have n9 intent 9r desire t9 speak t9 y9u ever again that c9uld be pr9v9ked fr9m a wide range 9f pers9nal reas9nings and ideas. 6ut I think that w9uld 6e a p99r way t9 start 9ff 9ur relati9nship.CG: Did this resp9nce appease y9u?

EB: hahaha! oh christ! oh man.

EB: i don't think many people realize how sassy you are. 

EB:  they are super missing out.

CG: I might just have t9 agree with y9u.

EB: >:)  that's the spirit!

CG: Y9u are als9 a tad 6it sassy y9urself.

EB: and i am nice enough otherwise to get away with it! :D

EB:  usually.

CG: Usually is the key term. H9wever I will adv9cate for instead deeming it "M9st 9ften." As that happens t9 s9und m9re frequent.

EB: i'm cool with how these events are transpiring.

CG: G99d, y9u sh9uld 6e and I am glad t9 hear it.

EB: i guess you did sort of earn the right to swoop in and change a few things around.  if you want.

CG: Change things ar9und?CG: C9uld y9u elab9rate?

EB: pfft, just forget it.  i don't even know what i am trying to say myself!

EB: i probably still have an adrenaline high from balling up a second ago.

CG: 9h, 9kay. 

CG: Well whatever it was y9u were trying t9 say I appreciate whatever sentiment there was.

EB: hehehehe!

EB: dork.

CG: H9w rude 9f y9u t9 call me as such, y9u silly man.

EB: omfg... hahaha!

EB: seriously, dude?

CG: Yes seri9usly, I mean every w9rd I say. 

CG: M9st 9f the time.

EB: ohhhhhh my god.

CG: (:B

EB: i'm!!!

EB: gonna meet you in the atrium!-signs off-

[effluentbalatron-blog]

--effluentBalatron [EB] began pestering growingGradience [gg]--

EB: jaaaade

.EB: jade.

EB: hey jade.

GG: hi john!

GG: whats up?

EB: i am just checking up on you

.EB: i've missed seeing your face around and such

.EB: :B

GG: oh?? well come see my face then sheesh!

GG: i like your face too :)

EB: that's what i was hoping you'd say.

EB: here comes me!

--effluentBalatron [EB] stopped pestering growingGradience [GG]--

JOHN: -He was actually already there anywho. Just becuase he didn't want to force his presence on Jade without her permission doesn't mean he's not going to get intel from the nurses about her condition.-

JOHN: -knocks a few times, waits a few seconds and then pokes his head in-

JOHN: here's johnny!

JOHN: -HIS STUPID MEMEY FACE 8D-

JADE: omg 

JADE: there he is 

JADE: -she's just sitting in her bed, a journal open that she was writing in before she shuts it and sets it on the bedside table.-

 JADE: you didnt bring an axe did you? 

JADE: are you going to axe me a question?

JOHN: -MAKES A FACE.- eugh!

JOHN: you took it to another level.

JOHN: nah the only tool i brougHT was my own self.

JOHN: comes up to her and plants his butt on the end of her bed.-

JOHN: whatcha writing?

JADE: i dont know... thoughts

 JADE: things ive been dreaming 

 JADE: i just dont want to keep it all in my head i think 

JADE: so im putting it down on paper

JOHN: oh yeah? you been having funny dreams?

JOHN: is it the meds?

JADE: i guess so 

JADE: theyre pretty weird

JADE: like... riding narwhal weird

JOHN: eh. that's not THAT weird.

JOHN: if there's actually pods of celestial narwhals floating around our ship as we fly through space, it wouldn't even suprirse me at this point.

JADE: me either actually :p 

JADE: but 

 JADE: well 

JADE: yeah, theyve been weird

JOHN: you wanna tell me about them?

JOHN: i mean it's up to you but i'll listen if you want.

JOHN:  rose would probably be a better person to talk to about dreams, but i can be a half decent stand in.

JADE: hehe

 JADE: its just 

JADE: ... 

JADE: there were some scary things

 JADE: like monsters 

JADE: and 

JADE: ... feferi

JADE: not that she was scary

JADE: that came out wrong

JOHN: -eyes widen- oh. uh

JOHN: i get it.

JOHN: i dream about her too sometimes.

JOHN: and she probably would've been flattered if you were having nightmares about her honestly.

JOHN: -rubs his neck.-

JADE: haha yeah 

JADE: ... 

JADE: do you think she 

JADE: ... 

JADE: nevermind.

JOHN: oh come on.

JOHN: you can't do that.-FROWNS AT HER-

JADE: im sorry its just 

JADE: i feel like ive been having a lot of irrational thoughts lately

JADE: it just seemed very real sometimes

JOHN: - he's obviously tempted to keep pressing her,  but she can see his expression change when he decides not to-

JOHN: - lightly pinches her foot that's under the covers-

JOHN: with  all that's happened . you'd be more crazy not to question what's real.

JOHN: i think you're doing the right thing..

JOHN: giving yourself space to figure stuff out.. letting people help you.

JADE: -she looks over at him then, eyes a little wider, the shape of her lips a little straighter. What he said strikes a chord in her that she hadn't realized had been so tender a place until now, so deeply affecting and... needed.- 

JADE: -Not just the affirmations from Dave, who she knew would affirm her no matter what, but honesty from the one person she could always expect to be exactly that and nothing less.- 

JADE: -It's difficult not to tear up, so she doesn't try to stop herself. She doesn't want to fight the way the corners of her mouth pull back, too, something between a smile and a sob that isn't quite there.- 

JADE: thank you -she says, just a whisper.-

JOHN: -he watches that happen, and as always when he sees one of his friend's cry it feels like a plane crash in his brain. he wants to keep heaping praise and encouragements and probably hugs on her immediately, but once again he holds himself back. whew! this is sure an exercise in self control for someone who doesn't use it much.-

JOHN: hey, it's alright. it's okay to be upset....and even mad.

JOHN: not even particularily at anybody.

JOHN: just because things are majorly fucked up.

JOHN:  we can both agree on that right?

JADE: ... yeah, heh 

JADE: pretty much

 JADE: -It's not really anything to laugh about... but what else can she do? Cry? It feels like such a far-off, distant option sometimes. Most of the time, maybe. And yet, tears roll down her cheeks anyway, because right now... maybe it just doesn't matter.- 

JADE: i want to feel stronger than this 

JADE: but i guess-- 

JADE: i need to let myself... feel weak 

JADE: with you 

JADE: and everyone 

JADE: its hard 

JADE: but i know its what i have to do

 JADE: and i want... to trust you

JOHN: -Okay. Okay now it feels like the right moment. He scoots up the bed, careful not to squish her, but he loops a warm bulky arm around her shoulders like a thick coat as she cries, just sitting with her and listening for a while He hates that it has to be this way, that she has such a hard time coming to her family and friends for no good reason...but if anybody can understand it's him. -

JOHN: you're damn right you have to do it.

JOHN: we're all going to be...

JOHN: we've all been weak.

JOHN: we've been hurt...killed and brought back, fucked up by nightmare visions. saddled with responsibilites we didn't want.

JOHN: and we're probably going to go through even more stuff

.JOHN: we have to be able to let it go somehow.

JOHN: so it doesn't build up inside of us and stop us when other people need our help.

JOHN:....feferi was really depressed too y'know.

JOHN: and..like sure she'd run off on her own sometimes no matter what was going on with anybody else, because she knew what her limits were and what she needed.

JOHN: but even then nobody was ever going to stop her from doing what she thought was right. when the time came

JOHN:.... sorry i'm rambling.

JOHN: meh...

JADE: -The insistence of his assurance somehow makes it that much more real, easier to internalize, and the smile twitches at her mouth again as he speaks -- at least, until it's about Feferi again. She wished they could have helped each other more. She always felt like she knew Feferi better than she thought.- 

JADE: ... i know you were good for her 

JADE: just like youre good to me and everybody else 

JADE: -She leans into him a little more heavily, because he's here, because she can -- and she wants to.- 

JADE: youre real john 

JADE: and that sounds kind of silly i know but 

JADE: youve always just been you

 JADE: and people need that 

JADE: i know i always did 

JADE: and i... -Her head ducks a little, turning toward him so she can bury her face against his shoulder.- 

JADE: im just glad youre here

JOHN: -He doesn't glow at the praise. He actually feels a little ashamed. Maybe that's how he used to be, but he's having trouble feeling like that lately. All he feels is irritated and guilty all the time. But it's hard to focus on that mental phelgm when he can feel Jade responding to him. - ...i'm glad i am too.

JOHN: none of this stuff matters without you. and rose. and dave.

JOHN: as long as you're all here, i will be too.

JADE: then i guess we better stick around 

JADE: at least we're good at doing that

 JADE: even when we dont know we're doing it 

JADE: because somehow we're all here together 

JADE: it should be more of a dream than a nightmare

 JADE: ... i want to make sure it is

JOHN: -settles with her almost back to back as they chat.-  i came on the ship because i wanted to see you guys.  i wanted to help people too.

JOHN: but let's be real it was mostly to see you guys.

JOHN: and i don't regret it. -shrugs-

JADE: ... me either 

JADE: no matter what happens 

JADE: despite everything 

JADE: ... these are still... the best years of my life

JADE: -That thought in itself is enough to make her tear up again, and she stops speaking, staring at the wall and sniffing quietly.-

JOHN: -eclipses her more firmly in a hug that is all fat and muscle. shhh. he rubs her back.-

JADE: heh... see? 

JADE: just like this im 

JADE: not alone 

JADE: -She exhales, pursing her lips that tremble still, closing her eyes that silent tears roll from.- (im not alone)

JOHN: hehhehe. you're not. you couldn't be even if you wanted to be. you have friends and loved ones out the friggin wazoo.

JOHN: with new ones turning up like clockwork.

JADE: -she sniffs again, a watery little giggle in her throat- i know 

JADE: its still kind of hard to believe 

JADE: but i know i wanted it 

JADE: and i still do 

JADE: its times like this that... 

JADE: we should have something worth fighting for

JOHN: well it's not an accident.  for some dumb brain reason it might be hard for you to believe but... you earned it jade.

JOHN: you don't have to prove yourself.  the results speak for themselves.

JADE: -Damn it, John. Here she is trying not to tear up, and here he is making her want to even more. She knows she doesn't have to hide it, not really, but she still wants to bury her face against him, so she does.- 

JADE: okay 

JADE: -It's all she wants to say -- all she wants to think and feel. Okay.-

JOHN: - he should feel guilty but he knows she needs it anyway. still there's no harm I  lightening the mood-.  if little jade Harley had known that one day she would achieve the full anthro...

JOHN: by god.

JOHN: - squeezes her shoulders-

JADE: .... -sNORTS. Fuck.- 

JADE: oh nooo 

JADE: youre right 

JADE: i would have been so excited...

JOHN:  i almost wish we could go back in time to validate how absolutely pecan nut burgers jazzed you would've been.

JADE: pecan nut burgers

JADE: thats a genre of jazz i didnt know about until today

JADE: i have a lot more research to do whenever i make my cool jazz band

JOHN: don't tease me.  please tell me this is a real goal.

JADE: it is now 

JADE: rose is already basically in a band with me so shes pretty much already on board

JOHN: good.  she's the brains of the operation. you're the heart element . I'll be the pretty one.

JADE: ... -reaches up and pats his face.- 

JADE: you are very pretty :)

JOHN: - beams-

JADE: -sNRK-

JOHN: just wait til all my hair comes back.

JADE: are you going to go for the tennessee tophat?

JOHN: you know me better than  i know myself...

JADE: i respect your decisions to do what you want with your style but also 

JADE: john no

JADE: this ship has families

JADE: think of the children

JADE: it starts with one mullet and then suddenly they're everywhere

JOHN: it's useless to try and reason with me,  jade.  I'd let my own son have a mullet.

JOHN:.. and then my dad would immediately shave him.

JOHN: and me as well probably... - probably the only reason he hadn't done it yet tbh-

JADE: thanks dad

JADE: whew

JADE: my problems are suddenly solved

JOHN: for now. -wink-

JOHN: -messes up her hair-

JADE: ah--!! 

JADE: :C 

JADE: now i have the mullet

JOHN: -lightly pulls back her hair so it looks like she does. whips out phone to take a hasty selfie-

JADE: oh my god

JADE: B(

JADE: -just that face.-

JOHN: :D -cheese!-

JOHN: hehe, don't worry. i won't post it.

JADE: youd be too afraid of me competing with your look

JADE: i see

JOHN: well yeah!

JOHN: you have way more hair so if you had a mullet..

JOHN: it'd be almost TOO bodacious.

JADE: the words bodacious and mullet should not be together

JOHN: i have never heard of two things that go together more.

JOHN: even peanut butter and jelly.

JADE: how dare you

[effluentbalatron-blog]

Keep reading

[effluentbalatron-blog]

Keep reading

[effluentbalatron-blog]

I feel it is my duty to ask for "ballpit blitz"

“ballpit blitz”

you seemed so goddamn cool to me on the day that we first met.

i’d hang around all evening just to see how poor our choices get.

and when i say “poor choices” i mean, some really crappy choices.

but we laugh like kids in middle school.

yeah, you can hear it in our voices.

it’s two years down the line and now i know the truth

you’re the furthest thing from cool, a scared and sentimental dude.

i could write down all the shit you did, for which you should be proud.

slide them under bathroom doors, so you don’t have to talk out loud.

and when we watch bad anime, you’ll know today you did enough.

even though your brain will say“hey, did you really do enough”?

i could call your brain an asshole and punch you in those shitty places.

then i’d say “a lot of people love you, man..”

yeah, you can see it  light up in their faces.

but i’d rather just wrestle.

until we’re both unrecognizable.

you can pretend it’s not a hug, i guess…

if it makes you feel more comfortable

meet me in the pit, come on, meet me in the pit.

it’s the halfway point between our worlds.

meet me in the pit, come on, meet me in the pit.

it’s the halfway point between our worlds.

meet me in the pit, yeah meet me in the pit.

it’s the halfway point between our little worlds.

did you notice that our kids seem to be best friends?

yeah, i noticed that they seem to be best freinds

well, nowadays those rooms are empty and i find it super strange

you know, the more i stay the same, the more my friends and family change.

you grew up and I shrank down, down, down…

well, i know it’s a longer trip but since you’re the captain of the ship…

i think that pit will always be around.

if we need it..

and i know one day we’ll need it…

i think right now i need it.

meet me in the pit, come on, meet me in the pit

it’s the halfway point between our worlds

meet me in the pit, come on, meet me in the pit

it’s the halfway point between our worlds

meet me in the pit, yeah meet me in the pit

it’s the halfway point between our little worlds

[effluentbalatron-blog]

discography

SONGS WITH WORDS.

Side A: 1. "oobleck". 2. "neopets gf". 3. "liv and let liv". 4. "homosocial male bonding". 5. "comment gardener". 6. "armchair occultism". 7.  "texture noise". (instrumental break) 8. "casey". 9  neopets gf 2: electric boogaloo." 10." 4 way video conference". 11: "learn to read facial expressions". 12: "birthday cake".

SIDE B: 1. "elephantitis". 2. "werewolf syndrome". 3. "blue skin disorder". 4. "pica". 5. "progeria". 6. "volontourism (don't go to haiti, you assholes) ". 7. "rocketman feat. william shatner" (instrumental break). 8. "puberty changed you". 9. "yahoo answers". 10. "i'll be here". 11. "get it, cuz i'm goffik". 12.”ballpit blitz”

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

1. "john's spagetti". 2. "i am your dad now (wait that came out wrong)." 3. "single pringle". 4. "sweater gremlin". 5. “aliens are neato". 6. "alright alright alright". 7. "sandcastles". 8. "consentacles". 9.  “the three times i didn’t ask you out (and the one time you did it for me).” 10. "i have your test results". 11. "rancorous". 12: "special long johnderwear".

DON'T FEED ME AFTER MIDNIGHT.

1. "all my friends are gay". 2. "morticia addams". 3. " ¿ qué calabaza ?” 5. "the batterwitch and our family”. 6. "supermassive sprite orgy”. 7. "zip-a-dee-doo-dah (i’m dying)” 8. “fungus amongus”. 9.  "maple valley". 10. "my girlfriend exploded". 11. "leftovers”. 12. "shit i am gay now too".

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-- gulesCamisade [GC] began trolling effluentBalatron [EB] -- GC: JOHN GC: YOU SCR4MM3D PR3TTY QU1CK B4CK TH3R3 EB: i just have this thing where i don't put up with dumb shenanigans.  it's a blessing and a curse. EB: gtfo btw. GC: OH WOW TH4T ST1NGS GC: MY F33L1NGS 4R3 SO HURT 4ND NOW 1M L34V1NG TO W33P 1NTO MY LUSUS'S BOSOM GC: COM3 ON, JOHN GC: YOU KNOW DUMB SH3N4N1G4NS H4PP3N TO US 4LL TH3 FUCK1NG T1M3 EB: don't you have a bosom to weep into. EB: what do you want? GC: WH4TS TH4T SUPPOS3D TO M34N? >:P GC: 1 W4NT TO D13 1N MY OWN B3D OF OLD 4G3 4FT3R 4 L1F3 OF CONT3NTM3NT 4ND H4PP1N3SS, TH4NKS FOR 4SK1NG EB: no,  why are you talking to me right now? EB: i know it's a lot to ask but see if you can go 0.5 seconds without being frustrating garbage. GC: WOW, WH4T CR4WL3D UP YOUR 4SS 4ND SUFFOC4T3D? GC: CH3CK YOUR SOD1UM L3V3LS, JOHN, B3C4US3 1T S33MS YOU 1NJ3ST3D 4N OC34NS WORTH OF S4LT TON1GHT GC: 4CTU4LLY 1 D1D M3SS4G3 YOU W1TH 4 PURPOS3 GC: 4R4D14 S41D SH3 FOUND F3F3R1 1N WH4T3V3R 4FT3RL1F3 EX1STS, 4ND 1 TRUST TH4T EB: okay well if that's true that's great. EB: so job well done give yourself a pat on the back. GC: TH1NK TH4T HONOR GO3S TO TH3 4FOR3M3NT1ON3D 4R4D14 GC: SH3S B33N BUST1NG H3R BULG3 LOOK1NG YOU KNOW EB: yeah! i know. we're actually pretty close. and since i am feferi's boyfriend i might have been slightly interested in the subject! EB: i don't believe feferi was on the bulletin board tonight though. GC: 4H R1GHT... GC: W3LL...HM...1 D1DNT 3X4CTLY KNOW K4RK4T W4S W4ND3R1NG TH3 SP1R1T R34LM 31TH3R GC: Y34H 1 DONT H4V3 4 GOOD 4RGUM3NT FOR TH4T GC: BUT 4NYW4Y GC: WHY DO YOU TH1NK TH4T 1SNT H3R? EB: i dunno....why should i believe it is? EB: i mean all we have is some spooky text that doesn't even sound like her and isn't in her quirk. EB: maybe for a second i kind of lost my head. EB: but now that i think about it, i'm pretty sure it's not. GC: R3M3MB3R WH3N 4R4D14 D13D TH3 F1RST Y34R ON TH3 ULT1M4TUM? GC: H3R QU1RK CH4NG3D 4FT3R SH3 D13D TOO EB: i wasn't actually there. EB: but okay... EB: i'll take your word for it. EB: that's still not a reason to believe that was feferi speaking to us. GC: 1 G3T YOUR SK3PT1C1SM, JOHN GC: 1 DO GC: 1 W4S TH3R3 WH3R3 YOU 4R3 NOW GC: 1 THOUGHT 3V3RYON3 H4D LOST TH31R M4RBL3S B3C4US3 WH3N YOU D13 YOU D13 FOR GOOD TH3R3S NO S3COND CH4NC3, R1GHT? GC: 1 H4T3D 3V3RY MOM3NT OF P3OPL3 TH1NK1NG SH3 C4M3 B4CK 4ND W4S GHOST TYP1NG TO US GC: 1 COULDNT B3L13V3 P3OPL3 COULD B3 SO STUP1D GC: 1T W4SNT 1N H3R QU1RK 1T D1DNT SOUND L1K3 H3R SH3 WR3CK3D H3R B3LONG1NGS SH3 W4S 4LW4YS SO 4NGRY 4ND D1D H3R OWN TH1NG W1THOUT R3G4RD TO HOW 4NYON3 3LS3 F3LT 4ND H3R PR3V1OUS R3L4T1ONSH1PS...SOM3 OF TH3M W3R3 PUT 4S1D3. EB: i do believe dead people can come back. aradia is living proof. EB: but until i see hard evidence i am not going to just jump to conclusions. EB: what's the point anyway? what's the point of freaking out? EB: it won't help feferi. EB: and as far as relationships being "put aside". EB: nah, that won't happen. EB: feferi wouldn't do that. GC: OK4Y, SH3 M4Y NOT GC: BUT FROM WH4T 1V3 S33N P3OPL3 CH4NG3 WH3N TH3Y D13 GC: TH3Y COM3 B4CK 4NGRY GC: OR 4 L1TTL3 S4DD3R GC: OR TH3Y L1K3 TH1NGS ON SOC14L M3D14 EB: look, i get you're trying to be helpful but why don't you keep your observations to yourself, huh? EB: it's nothing i can't figure out on my own. EB: and we'll find out for sure sooner or later anyway. EB: things have a habit of escalating around here. GC: Y34H SUR3, WH4T 4 GR34T 1D34 1T 1S TO L34V3 YOU 4LON3 SO YOU C4N M4R1N4T3 1N YOUR OWN PUDDL3 OF S4D GC: W3 W1LL D3F1N3T3LY F1ND OUT SOON 3NOUGH, BUT YOU 4CTU4LLY H4V3 4 CHO1C3 TO NOT B3 4LL MOP3Y 4ND M1S3R4BL3 UNT1L W3 DO EB: wow...fuck you. EB: i'm going to feel how i want to feel. GC: YOU DO TH4T GC: 4ND S33 HOW W3LL 1T WORKS OUT FOR YOU EB: thanks. i will. GC: >:\ GC: LOOK GC: 1M SP34K1NG FROM 3XP3R13NC3 H3R3 GC: 1TS NOT L1K3 W3 C4N GO B4CK 1N T1M3 4ND CH4NG3 3V3RY HORR1BL3 TH1NG TH4TS H4PP3N3D GC: YOU GOTT4 4CC3PT TH3 B4D TH1NG H4PP3N1NG B3C4US3 TH3R3 1S L1T3R4LLY NOTH1NG YOU C4N DO TO F1X 1T GC: W3 SHOULD B3 GR4T3FUL F3F3R1S 3V3N PR3S3NT1NG H3RS3LF 4T 4LL EB: let me help you out here. EB: i am really friggin sick of doing what i am "supposed" to do and feeling how i am “supposed” to feel. me and feferi were doing what we were supposed to do when we got blown up. EB: i'm. not. interested. EB: how much more clear can i make it? GC: 1F 4NYON3 D1D WH4T TH3Y W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO DO, W3D 4LL B3 D34D NOW GC: W3 W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO R3M41N ON 4LT3RN14 L1K3 D1L1G3NT L1TTL3 1D1OTS WHO D1D TUMUTS B1DD1NG BUT W3 H4D TH3 COMMON S3NS3 TO L34V3 TH3 PL4N3T B3FOR3 W4R BROK3 OUT GC: TH3 R34SON WHY YOU 4ND F3F3R1 GOT BLOWN UP 1S B3C4US3 W3 H4D 4NOTH3R CHO1C3 GC: 4ND M4K1NG TH4T CHO1C3 1S TH3 R34SON W3R3 NOT D3COMPOS1NG ON 4 G4LLOWS SOM3WH3R3 EB: well maybe one plan is just as shitty as another. EB: either way, i really don't care right now. or at least i care just about as much as everyone else. EB: i'll do what i need to do. i always have. EB: but fuck me if i'm going to let somebody who didn't  speak a single word for months lecture me about how i deal with what happened. EB: seriously fuck you. GC: 1 H4D R34SONS BUT W3R3 NOT T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH4T R1GHT NOW >:[ GC: JOHN TH1S 1SNT 4 L3CTUR3! GC: 1M JUST TRY1NG TO PUT TH1NGS 1NTO P3RSP3CT1V3 H3R3 GC: Y34H YOUR3 R1GHT 1TS B33N SH1TTY SO F4R BUT 1D P1CK M4YB3 DY1NG OV3R C3RT41NLY DY1NG 4ND FR4NKLY F3F3R1 WOULD H4V3 P1CK3D TH3 S4M3 EB: you can say i"m being miserable and mopey.  you can say I'm being irrational.  but it is better than being fake. EB: what the hell do you want from me? do you want me to pretend everything is fine? EB: it wouldn't even matter if i did. it's not like it would change anything. GC: WH4T? PR3T3ND?? NO! GC: YOU C4N D3NY 1TS F3F3R1 4LL YOU W4NT, JUST L1K3 HOW 1 D3N13D 4R4D14 W4S B4CK FOR P3R1G33S GC: BUT TH3 LONG3R 1 W41T3D FOR 'PROOF' TH3 D33P3R 1 DROV3 1N TH4T W3DG3 B3TW33N US  UNT1L B4R3LY 4NY TR4C3 W4S L3FT OF OUR FR13NDSH1P GC: 1TS T4K3N SOM3 T1M3 TO BU1LD B4CK WH4T W3 H4D, BUT 1 KNOW 1T W4S MY OWN P1GH34D3DN3SS TH4T D1D TH4T TO US GC: 1 D1D TH4T 4ND 1TS ON M3 GC: 4LL 1M S4Y1NG 1S T4K3 YOUR LOSS3S GC: L34RN TO 4CC3PT WH4TS G1V3N TO YOU GC: M4K3 1T 34S13R ON YOURS3LF EB: you don't even know what's going on.  you are just making ��assumptions. EB: i'm sorry the stuff with aradia happened but it has nothing to do with me and feferi. EB: i'm done here. GC: Y34H!! M4YB3 1 4M TO SOM3 D3GR33 BUT 4LL YOUR3 GO1NG TO DO 1F YOU CONT1NU3 RUNN1NG YOURS3LF 1N C1RCL3S 1S DR1V3 YOUR OWN S3LF CR4ZY GC: 1V3 H4D 3NOUGH OF DOWNW4RD SP1R4LS TO DROOL US3L3SSLY 4T 4NY MOR3 GC: F3F3R1 D13D 4ND 1M SORRY 4BOUT TH4T GC: BUT YOUR3 ON TH3 RO4D TO B3COM1NG 4 B1TT3R OLD M4N GC: WHO TH1NKS H3S TH3 ONLY ON3 TO P1CK ON3 TOO M4NY SHORT ST1CKS --effluentBalatron changed their mood to OFFLINE-- GC: TRULY GC: TH3 LOW3ST BLOW TOD4Y

-- gulesCamisade [GC] gave up trolling effluentBalatron [EB] --

[effluentbalatron-blog]

☘ Jodie

Jodie woke up to the quiet rustling of fabric, maybe the sound of a tie looping into a neat knot, buttons being gently pushed through holes, the sound of a prissy nerd smoothing his trousers down one last time before daring to venture out into public. God forbid anyone see him with a wrinkle. She pretended to be asleep. It was a bad habit, but she couldn’t really turn off her paranoia. James always fell for it. 

Through her eyelashes, she watched him circle a few times, always concious not to forget anything. She saw him cut a slice off the cake at the counter and set it aside for later, and while he was busy she gripped the couch blanket tighter, ever so slightly. The one he had draped over her last night when she had stumbled and flopped, refused to move, refused to even be carried. The fact that he was actually getting up and going to work unsettled her. Their long weekend was over.  She knew she was inconvenciencing him and wished she wasn’t.  But she’d also do just about anything to avoid having him see her out onto the drive way like a bouncer, hearing the all too familiar tap of her own heels as she went on her merry way. 

She was so lost in her various worries, that she didn’t notice his approach. She went still, like a frightened baby deer, keeping her eyes closed as she braced herself to be “woken up” gently and politely. Instead, she felt his lips brush her jaw, in much the same way they had last night. But this time they stopped and pressed a little kiss to her cheek instead of continuing down to her collarbone. The (sexy, if we’re being honest) scent of his cologne was heavy for a second and then went with him as he lightly stepped away.With a busy flapping, he shrugged his coat on and left her. Alone in his house by herself. It took her a few stunned minuits to process her shock, that he would actually trust her this much. This time when she nestled into the couch blanket, she wasn’t faking.

[effluentbalatron-blog]

☘ daelos

With dogged persistance, the young blueblood had slowly circled the party like a lone wolf looking for an opening among an endless circle of skulking seadweller nobles, the motley assortment of sacred entertainers from the church and various other beureucrats of every size, shape, function. The assemblage was mostly cool, with a few token warmbloods thrown in. They fluttered around the partyfrom the sidelines, anxious to be listened to and understood, even more than he was. By then his hair was completely volumeless, stringy and wet. He was melting in his ill-fitting suit.

The need for socialization of any kind was not an emotion he was familiar with, but he was almost too manic and excited to notice his fatigue. His blood and muscles felt hot like he was running, while his skin was icy.

The hope he felt was terrifying. Now he knew what he wanted to achieve was possible. And yet, he still might never make it happen. Knowledge was less important on Beforus than connections, and he had next to none. It didn’t matter that he was right. He had to get someone to listen to him. Perhaps a health or science official.

(Someone eventually listened to him. It didn’t turn out to be a health or science offiical.)

[effluentbalatron-blog]

Emotions

Send me one and I’ll tell you about my muse when they’re…

☕ RELAXED ♒️ IRRITATED 💘 LUSTING 🌦 LONGING ☘ HOPEFUL 🍃 CONFUSED 🎡 AMUSED 🌞 HAPPY ⚡️ ANGRY 💧 SAD 💕 IN LOVE ❌ JEALOUS 💔 HEARTBOKEN 🏝 LONELY 🌙 EXHAUSTED 👻 AFRAID 👐 SURPRISED