eldritchdreamss - Tumblr blog

[eldritchdreamss]

I love all the headcanons about the batkids reaching certain ages and realizing how insane it was that Bruce did (thing) at that age, but I ESPECIALLY love the image of a mid-forties Jason landing a little too hard after his last grappling line and realizing that, holy shit, Bruce’s knees must have been splintering at this point. AND he had a broken back??

[eldritchdreamss]

Tim: Trees live underground and use the above-ground part as a snorkel.

Duke: I fucking guess.

[eldritchdreamss]

a mission with the Bats which involved their bestfriends.

everyone is in a circle before they can go their separate ways.

Dick, smiles, with a hair seemingly still in style as if the mission was a walk in a park: I would like to thank everyone who participated today. We wouldn't have completed this without each of our efforts.

the batkids rolls their eyes because Dick can be so extra, which just makes him grin.

Dick, spreads his arms: I just love this bonding of brotherhood.

everyone is silent until Steph bursts out laughing.

Cass brows furrow in confusion before she leans on Steph to join in laughing.

Duke, snickers: Sure.... Brotherhood.

Tim, shrieks: Brotherhood????

Kon's face turns crimson, standing close to Tim.

Tim and Kon, who just celebrated their anniversary last night somewhere in Greece.

Damian, scowls: What did you just say, Richard?

Jon, who was drinking water, nearly chokes.

Damian and Jon, who just started their relationship in the beginning of the month because finally Damian gave in to his feelings.

Jason, rolls his eyes some more: You are just embarrassing yourself, Dickface.

Roy, chuckles: Wow. Brotherhood at its finest.

Jason and Roy, who just moved in together last week.

Wally, face so red: Really, Dick?? Brothers??? Us??

Dick and Wally, who have been together before they even know it.

Dick, groans: I know, okay??? I just don't want to admit that my brothers are growing up!!

Jason: You are such a drama queen.

Duke: Maybe use another term next time, Dick?

Damian: Tt. I second that motion.

Jon, nods enthusiastically: Whatever Dami says!

Tim, yawns, leaning on Kon: How about we all go home and rest?

Kon, wraps his arm around Tim's waist: I better take Rob home.

Cass, nods: Indeed! Me and Steph. Go now.

Steph, holds her hand: We got a date planned. See ya!

the rest of the boys: WHAT????

Babs, through comms: Can we wrap this up, gentlemen? So I can sleep and you can sort out your feelings for each other.

[eldritchdreamss]

Yeah I know we all want to see the bat get Batshit when he learns that Tim lost a spleen but have you ever considered he just having a big dad sight™ closing his eyes and saying:

"... Of course he did." while he holds the bridge of his nose and following up with. "Let me see the scar."

[eldritchdreamss]

roy’s whole pitch to dick at the start of outsiders is so fucking funny when you actually think about it. bc it’s like:

dick: I can’t be on a team again, I won’t lead friends and family into danger anymore!

roy: cool cool of course man, no problem! it’ll just be strangers and coworkers this time. no deep emotional bonds, I promise! ignore the fact that you’re one of the people I love most in the world and we’ve been family to each other for half our lives and I’m creating this team specifically to help and support you

dick: seems legit, I’m in

[eldritchdreamss]

screw the dick + wally friendship — the roy + wally friendship is so much funnier. team gingers. team present fathers (sorry garth). team neurotic about dick graysons mental stability. if there are no bruce wayne haters in the world it means those two are dead. wallys total lack of faith in roys leadership abilities vs roys capacity to annoy wally. they’ve probably kissed. beautiful

[eldritchdreamss]

Sorry just thinking about Tim Drake having sleep overs with Bernard or Stephanie and just staying up late and talking. But Tim always sleeps over at Bernard’s house. And while Stephanie probably has her own room at Wayne Manor she still falls asleep in Tim’s bed and Tim falls asleep at his desk. Or like Conner is constantly leaving his clothes in Tim’s room and Alfred doesn’t say anything.Idk I just teenagers being able to be kids and do normal teenager things

[eldritchdreamss]

I personally think tim and riddler would despise each other bit absolutely enjoy the snarky rebuttles they could dish out to each other

batman is quiet. Nigma gives sass and batman doesn't reply. Tim and Riddler? Oh they're beefing. Especially if it's a tech savvy riddler who's really good at coding and tech.

Tim trying to bypass his code and a giant question mark comes up "ha! silly boy wonder! you thought it would be that easy! think again"

tim is on the verge cause this is like the fourth time for him and oracle combined trying (also the boy wonder mention is a stab in the heart)

[eldritchdreamss]

Damian, handing Bruce a piece of paper with a very neat calendar on it: father, I will be taking a step back from my participation in our nightly patrols. I have carefully considered factors such as, but not limited to, school tests, most likely days for breakouts and when other people will be available. Here is my schedule.

Bruce: any particular reason you are stepping back from Robin?

Damian: I have reached an acceptable age and am by far mature enough, so I will be participating in Ramadan this year, father. Afterwards I will pick my duties up as normal, but with changed sleeping and eating patterns, this is the most logical step for now.

Bruce, who grew up with a jewish mother and christian father who were intent to raise him on some weird mix of the two, then a second father who was atheist, proceeded to lose his entire way in any form of religion due to losing himself in his teen years, took in Jewish boy, then a catholic one with religious trauma, then an atheist one who had no idea how to even approach the idea of religion, followed up by a pagan girl and already making seven different mental lists of things he will need to research, how to add aspects of Islam into their weird family holidays and trying desperately to show his support for his son: ....hnn

Damian: thank you father

[eldritchdreamss]

Dick: on the one hand, I would give anything to hear my mother’s voice again

Dick: on the other hand, not being able to remember helps me avoid certain types of psychological warfare

*sounds of yelling in the background as Damian mimicries Janet Drake*

[eldritchdreamss]

“coz we just gowt our asses kicked”

[eldritchdreamss]

A funny thought just came to me, so here's a new writing prompt:

The Justice League doesn't think that Batman has a civilian identity. For the most part, he only ever comes out at night, adding to the nocturnal rumors, but he has been seen during the day when there are huge problems or bigger rouge attacks.

And, because the JL don't think he has a civilian identity, they naturally assume that none of the other Gotham Vigilantes do, either. Signal, the only consistent day shift, is obviously a different breed than the rest. All of the others are nocturnal.

Extra points if they think they're a group of cryptids.

One day, Bruce and Tim are needed to help set up at WE for a press conference. One that Lois Lane is covering. At the same time, the JL Is having a meeting. Normally Dick would put on the Batman suit, but Nightwing is needed at the meeting, too. They can't say that Batman is off world, because all of those trips are logged and followed by the Lanterns. So, the next logical thing to do is for Nightwing to tell the JL that Batman and Red Robin were needed as civilians, but he will make sure to pass the information on to them, as well as record the meeting.

"Batman doesn't have a civilian identity," Is the response he gets. "None of you do, right?"

Nightwing, for all his training, doesn't react outside of his smile getting slightly bigger. "You don't think we have secret identities?"

"No, we kinda just assumed you all just hid away in a cave or something when you weren't needed or on duty."

Oh, these sweet summer children. Nightwing is trying very hard not to laugh at them. "We, we do have secret identities, we don't do nothing when we aren't in costume."

"Are you sure?" That's the Flash. "'Cause I'm pretty sure we'd recognize you guys out of costume." Kudos to him for being so confident about that. "Most of you only have tiny masks over your eyes. That's not enough to cover an identity."

Nightwing takes a glance at Superman, not that anyone can see his eyes move behind the domino mask. The alien's eyes have shifted left.

"I've been to Gotham plenty of time," Green Arrow speaks up, "I know I haven't seen everyone in the city, but I'm pretty sure I'd recognize your build. It's pretty distinct."

Bold. All of the Wayne Clan have met Green Arrow in and out of costume. They've actually met most of the JL in and out of costume. Should he tell them? Nah, that's not funny. He can't wait to tell the others.

[eldritchdreamss]

listen, i have no idea what’s currently canon in dc comics and i really don’t care to BUT regardless of what continuity we’re in, i think jason todd might be the funniest character of all time. just the biggest hypocrite ever and i’m obsessed. like, so many people have pointed out how crazy it is to be pissed off at tim for replacing him as robin when he literally replaced dick while dick was still alive, but then to go and parade around bludhaven as a murderous nightwing while dick is (again) very much still alive and THEN form a team with dick’s ex girlfriend and best friend??? jason todd is THE definition of “replacement” or what the fuck ever he calls tim and i actually find it so funny. stay crazy girl <3

[eldritchdreamss]

let's pretend that this is the right timeline because what if Dick becomes Batman at the same time when Wally becomes The Flash?

let's also say that this is just like the Justice League animated series wherein the League members don't know each member's identities (except of course Bruce, he knows everybody).

how funny would it be if Dick and Wally are together and the rest of the League are confused because all of a sudden Batman and Flash are close like super close? i mean they have witnessed how Flash gets intimidated by Batman. now, that's not the case anymore.

during a meeting:

Hal, leaning to John during a League meeting, whispers: I'm not losing my mind, right?

John, whispers back: I think I know what you mean.

Hal: Why is Flash making heart eyes to Bats????

John: I know??? Flash doesn't even look him in the eyes before.

Hal: That's so odd, dude.

Batman glances at the two Green Lanterns which makes them shut up.

meanwhile, across the table, Martian Manhunter has a light smile on his lips and Superman covers his laugh with a cough.

-

at the cafeteria:

Ollie: Hey, Dinah. Have you noticed something unusual between Batman and Flash lately?

Dinah: It is quite unusual, huh? I was talking to Hawkgirl the other day and she said she saw Flash bridal carry Bats.

Ollie: What the actual fu-

Flash, approaches the couple's table with a big bowl of nachos on his hand: Hey, guys! Mind if I sit with you?

Ollie and Dinah give a knowing look at each other. a conversation they definitely will finish later.

-

during in an another planet mission:

Batman, after announcing everyone's partners for the mission:... And lastly, I will pair up with Flash in today's mission.

Flash grins widely, that has Arthur thinking his cheeks might be hurting after that.

Arthur: Yeah, yeah. At this point, we already know, Bats!

the Green Lanterns, along with Captain Marvel and Booster Gold, snicker at his comment.

Batman ignores Arthur's comment and the rest of the members scatter to their assigned locations.

Victor, who was paired with Arthur: Was gonna give that comment too.

Arthur: It's like they are inseparable all of a sudden.

Victor, shakes his head: Well, I have seen weirder things.

-

in the meeting hall:

Wonder Woman, pulls Batman in the corner of the room: Okay, that's enough. You are truly ignoring me. What is going on with you lately?

Batman: Did the rest of the League put you up to this?

Wonder Woman, has her hands on her hips: They didn't need to. So, tell me. And don't you ever lie to me, I can see right through you, Batman.

Batman, sighs: It's hard for me to explain. I can't-I can't tell you right now.

Wonder Woman: Hera! Now, Bru-Batman.

before Batman responses, the door of the meeting hall opens and in comes Robin with his katana. the conversations between the League members come to a stop as they stare at the young hero.

Robin, glances at everyone, before approaching Flash: I need help with an important matter.

Flash, smiles and ruffles Robin's hair, as if that's second nature: Of course, little dude.

Hal, stands up from his seat: THAT'S IT! Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on????

Ollie, stands up with him: Are we in another dimension that I don't know about?????

Dinah pulls Ollie down by his arm to make him sit again.

the rest of the League members start to converse against each other.

Superman, floats a bit from his seat: Why don't we all settle down? There's nothing to be alarmed about.

Robin, shakes his head: Tt. Absolute fools.

by the time Bruce and Barry are back:

-

Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose: Chum, you could at least be discreet with Wally.

Dick: It's not my fault, B! I swear I was going to explain to Aunt Diana then Dami entered the room.

Damian: Tt. Don't blame me, Grayson. Why don't you lecture West on how to be more responsible? He left me on read when I asked help for my Science project.

Dick, sighs: And what about Timmy? He could have helped.

Damian: I don't want anything to do with Drake.

Bruce massages his temples as he feels a headache coming up.

-

Barry: Wally!!!!

Wally, zooms right in front of Barry: I couldn't help it, okay?? Dick is just irresistible.

Iris giggles as she prepares the table for dinner.

Barry, sighs: That's alright. I'll talk to Bats on how we can explain it to the team.

Wally, grins and sits down by the table: It was hard not to laugh at them. They were so confused.

Barry, chuckles: I'm sure Hal's expression was the funniest.

Wally, laughs: You have no idea, Uncle Barry.

[eldritchdreamss]

I think it would be really funny if every time Dick and Jason joined missions they kind of failed upwards, even if they goofed off, or dredged up extremely personal shit, it helped with their secret identities or got them to think outside the box. There's always a disagreement on methods, someone gets kicked through a door but it's the right door and they stumble on all the evidence and the bad guys. Something that got set on fire was actually a secret message that only appeared upon heating, or they found evidence of the crime while trying to delete embarrassing CCTV footage.

[eldritchdreamss]

LMAO someone give Dick Grayson a medal for understanding that when Bruce stalks you and asks to take your blood, it's his way of showing he loves his kid.