elixrr - Tumblr blog

[elixrr]

this is totally unlike my usual reblogs, but PLEASE FOLLOW THE ADVICE WHEN NEEDED AND IF NEEDED. Please, stay safe everybody, never forget to be as careful as you can be.

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

[elixrr]

he's so amazing <3

(Imagining how someone would fluster him like that JWGEWGQGQ like me next aventurine)

[elixrr]

Y/N：LFMAOAAWKWJEVSVQ

Dr. Ratio：What is that?

Y/N：keyboard smashing

Dr. Ratio：How do you do it?

Aventurine：just press anything lol

Dr. Ratio：7

INCORRECT QUOTES：Aventurine x Reader x Dr. Ratio

bestie who made me remember it: @plutoniclol

[elixrr]

guys!! aueggwgw look at my friend's stimboard <33 IT'S SO PRETTY AND IT'S AVENTURINE RUGGHH I LOVE HIM SM he's my canonical boyfriend husband malewife pookie bear

not me scrambling to get a notepad (so I can write down a return gift idea for you 🔥🔥)

𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝

dedicated to: @elixrr

reblogs >>> likes, please reblog if you like!

🩵 / 💚 / 🖤

💚 / ♠️ / 🩵

🖤 / 🩵 / 💚

[elixrr]

Hello hello? Checking in! You good? This is just a simple ask in which I inquire you about how life has been treating you :>

Hi!! Awe, thanks for checking in, I'm good! Or, well, I need to be as good as I can be because I have a quiz tomorrow 🫸😔🫷 I'M CLUTCHING IM LITERALLY HANGING ON BY A THREAD 😭😭

But! I'll be okay. Only about two months left, and then the school year will be over. I promise I'm doing everything I can to try and get my motivation back up to write, BUT IT'S NOT COMING BACKKKKK EUGHHHHH

Anyways, thank you so much for checking in!! I literally need to talk to you sm more LOL I PROMISE I'M A LIVING BREATHING HUMAN BEING 😭😭

WAIT BUT how are you?? :D How's life going for you? I literally need to breathe air and speak to you for once omg

[elixrr]

I think we should talk / interact more. I keep getting nervous and shy- but I mean. You're cool so :)

For now, I'll start with How are you doing? Hopefully ok.

OMG WE SHOULDDD!!

I'm SOSOSOSOOO BAD WITH ONLINE COMMUNICATION 😭😭 when I take breaks from writing here, I literally just come on for like a daily dose of aventurine fics and then that's it 😭😭 but I still found it super sweet how you reached out to me like that like AUGHHH

But yusyusyus we should talk moreee (and I might share some sagau angst ideas with you MWAHAHAHAA) 🤭🤭

I think you're like. My only other living mutual now because my other moot deleted their account I WAS SO SADDDD UGHHH

But! Yes! I will definitely bother your page LOL

[elixrr]

hi! to everyone who sent over a request, I absolutely will get back to you at some point, but I just want to say that I'll be taking a really quick break from writing! I'll definitely be back soon, but the motivation I had for these fics and the story ideas I conjured have been lost in time, on Do Not Disturb, literally left on read, left on seen, came, went, and will be back some other day.

tldr; small hiatus because of writer's block! Don't worry, I myself am fine, but my motivation totally is not <3

[elixrr]

Reblogging, not just because this is amazing and I need every aventurine fan to read this too, but because this is honestly so amazing overall— how could I just read it and walk away without having my jaw dropping to the floor?

(This is honestly inspiring me. I kind of want to go back to writing, but I NEED to improve my skills).

i'm an orange moon...

(reflecting the light of the sun)

major spoilers for 2.1, gn reader, it got a bit angsty i didn't meaaaan itttt, aventurine is touch starved and you Know how i feel about touchsta💥

wc; ~ 1.6k

“Aventurine,” the false lights of Penacony dance in your eyes when you look at him, and something sickening and foreign twists in his chest. “May I hold your hand?”

Aventurine knows how to be an actor. He does so easily— his carefully crafted mask is more familiar than his own face. He is a performer first and a person second, because there is not a time or place on this or any planet where he can afford to lose anything more. The pieces of himself are barely put together, what is left of him seems to seep like sand between his very fingers. His family, his planet, himself, torn to ruin. And yet it is said that fate smiles upon him. The fractured pieces of himself are a blessing. What a funny thing fate must be, if his hell is said to be a heaven.

The mask must never slip, not even once— his life is a stage, corpses weighing heavy on his back, grasping hands chaining his feet, screams tearing his eardrums to shreds, and yet he must walk it anyway. And Aventurine will, and he will do it without missing a step. For this is what it means for him to live, his every breath a sin.

Aventurine knows how to keep a poker face. He does so easily— his smile is trained never to meet his eyes, it doesn’t know how to, and his hypnotic eyes are always trained on his next opponent, never leaving or faltering. He can’t afford to look away, to see what could possibly come next— to see what could hurt him, next. Aventurine could control nothing in his life. He couldn’t control the Katicans as they laughed as they took his father, or his mother, or his sister, and he couldn’t control when his swine of a master forced him to murder his fellow slaves, either. But he can control who he gets close to. He can control who he lets in, who is allowed to see what he looks like when his walls finally crumble.

Which, of course, is no one.

So it comes easily when he pushes well-meaning gestures away, or refuses a favor with that soft, styrofoam smile and a laugh. It’s not just second-nature, no. It’s the only one he has left.

Aventurine knows he doesn’t deserve the sanctity of being loved. This fact comes to him easily– all who have dared to try have been disappointed, and all who had mattered to him are gone. He knows it well, he is far too many pieces, far too broken, far too much of a mess for someone to come to try and fix. And this is fine, because he doesn’t have the experience to even fantasize about what he is supposedly missing. The closest semblance to friends that he has may as well be rivers or oceans away, with the amount of distance he has put between them and himself.

So you. You are strange to him.

Aventurine does not know what the hell your deal is. He doesn’t know how you got so close. He doesn’t know why you bother.

“Aventurine,” the false lights of Penacony dance in your eyes when you look at him, and something sickening and foreign twists in his chest. “May I hold your hand?”

That gives him pause. For a moment, his lips part, and his brows threaten to furrow under the weight of his pure bafflement. But, as always, his mask slips back on easily, a kind smile slotted into place.

“Oh? Afraid of getting lost?”

You walk beside him on the streets of Golden Hour, taking in the sequins disguised as stars and the specially-manufactured cool night air. He can’t tell if you’re naive or just easily impressed.

“No,” you say with a shake of your head, “Maybe I just…felt like it.”

Aventurine does not change anything in his face. There isn’t so much as a slow bob of his Adam's apple as he swallows, or a look of conflict crossing his features. There is no hesitation in his face, his mask, at all. But even so, when you look at him, through him, your kind smile finds a way to become kinder, and the tenderness in your eyes somehow becomes more potent.

“We don’t have to,” you don’t look disappointed, or even expectant, at all, “We can keep walking. Just this is enough as it is.”

“Just this” is the oddly peaceful silence as the two of you walk together. Your presence is comparable to a sun he never got acquainted with— he’s used to the storms, to the rock and sand, to the unyielding weather he was forced to endure, but this is different. This is just a walk, and there’s no search for water while the taste of blood coats his tongue, or the threat of thunder or biting cold. It is just peace at its purest. He extends his hand.

“Far be it for me to argue. Be my guest.”

You light up immediately, elated. He's thankful for his shades— the brightness of you is blinding. And he isn't quite prepared for the feel of you. Even through his gloves he feels the warmth of your hands— it is everything he is not. His own are ruined; he was pried from his home, and forced to take a bloody, bloody climb back up to earn his own humanity again. Aventurine’s hands are ruined beyond repair— no amount of washing can cleanse them, but yours, yours are so different. They aren't fully soft, you have work and hardships of your own, but they are gentle. Taking your hand feels easy because there are no expectations or commands hidden in the grooves of your palms. There are no hidden weapons behind your back, there is nothing but the feeling of flesh against the dark smoothness of his glove, and for a moment, he almost finds himself staggering.

How long has it been, since he touched another with no expectations? To not force himself to be overly friendly, to not appease anyone for the sake of getting information, to just exist, with someone else's hand in his?

The last willing touch he remembers feeling came with his fingers dipped in blood, salty tears thick on his taste buds. This is different from that. This is worlds away from that.

And Aventurine does not know how to feel. He doesn't know how to arrange his mask in response. There is no light in his eyes, not anymore, at least, but for a moment they are so wide with shock that Golden Hour’s stars swirl in the mix of blue and purple— a complex, vulnerable galaxy. Aventurine does not know how to feel. And it bothers him.

The tips of your fingers slide from his palms to the tips of his own, raking tiny sparks across the fabric of his gloves. Your fingers are interlocked now, and his head is spinning. You're everywhere. Under his gloves, under his skin, everywhere, and it's troubling. Strangely, he doesn't want to let go. For a moment —one that is fleeting and miniscule, barely a blink of an eye— his mask softens, melting around symptoms of genuine comfort, but his wounded heart kicks in defiance. The mask clicks back into place when your gaze meets his again, a smooth, porcelain smile easily greets you. Just as it has been taught to.

(His hands are nice. You know he thinks differently, has been taught to think differently, but they are firm under your palms and quickly warm to your touch.)

“Shall we?”

Distantly, he is aware of the implications of holding hands on a busy city street, encircled by onlookers and gossiping figures— this is the behavior of lovers, friends, family, people who are much, much closer than the two of you are. But your touch is…pleasant. It could mean trouble for you, to be seen with him when so many people have him under such a careful watch, (He is never truly free of people's stares or of their suspicion, and this makes associating with him more than a hassle.) but you know this, and have yet to keep your distance. Experimentally, he flexes his fingers around yours. It's faint, and a gamble if nothing else, but you squeeze him back almost immediately.

Aventurine knows he is greedy. This is intertwined into his being almost as tightly as the hold of your hands. He knows that this is a rare, fleeting moment, one that he will never get to indulge in again —not when his plans to discover the truth of Penacony are sure to succeed— and he knows that he will long for it once it ends, the sweetness of it clinging to his teeth. But he wants it. He wants this singular moment of peace, of keeping the mask on but for once not needing to perform. The city is busy as ever, bustling crowds and cheerful chatter echo up into the walls of tall buildings. It would be nice, to continue your walk together like this, with your soft, sunny hand in his. It would satiate his greed, if only for a moment.

But Aventurine knows he is not worth your time.

“It's been lovely, really,” he almost slips— he almost winces when your face falls. You aren't as practiced as he is when it comes to keeping a poker face. “But I really must be going.” His hand slides out from underneath yours, but it is not as easy as he thought it’d be. The ghost of your touch already serves to haunt him. A few steps back, and your warmth still lingers.

“Take care out there, alright?” he says it with a tilt of his head, his best, practiced and perfect smile easing the tension from your shoulders. Performing again, this time for a private audience.

He only gets a few steps away before you call for him again.

Aventurine knows how to pretend not to hear and keep walking.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

rbs w/comments are appreciated!! <33

[elixrr]

This is literally amazing. 10/10, would recommend, especially if you want to read a gut-wrenching and heartbreaking view on Aventurine's lore drop.

꩜ . . AND STILL IT IS UNSATED. ⎯⎯ laced through his limbs, stuck in his throat, sewn into his sinew — from the moment he was born, crying instinctual tears of crystalline befitting of his future, kakavasha has always known hunger.

⎯ cw. talks of starvation, death, gore. 1k words.

Aventurine has never met the feeling of a full stomach. He has always known hunger.

First, it was starvation — it met him before he could hear or see, raised him, held him gently before greed could steal him away. Back then, all he craved was a meal, water, the next time rain would fall — nothing more, just survival, based on instinct nestled deep in any child’s mind; he learned to live with the ache, and callow, he thought he would outgrow it. But then, as he grew, it grew, with him, more and more, and it felt like it would swallow him whole if he couldn’t swallow it first — and it grew, and it grew, and it grew—

Then his family was gone, and so was he, and with him went starvation, and chasing it off was not food, but guilt — guilt, eating holes into the lining and the flesh, and suddenly Aventurine envied Kakavasha, when all he wanted was food and water. When all he wanted was only barely out of reach. Now, shed of his childhood and dressed to the nines in perfectly tailored clothes that he’s still not used to — everything he craved was so far, he was afraid his skin and muscle would peel from his bones if he tried to reach for it. 

“Tomorrow, we’ll try again,” and “maybe, tomorrow, we’ll get it” — tomorrow, tomorrow — “we’ll eat tomorrow, Kakavasha”, “it will rain tomorrow, Kakavasha” — back then, there was a tomorrow, because the hunger gnawed at the sides of his stomach but never ate through it — eventually he could manage to keep it at bay. But then it did, and it spread, and it squirmed beneath his skin, and it ate, and it ate, and it ate, and it ate him. The only food for the thing it became was his shattered soul, and it would continue to tear it apart limb from limb, swallow it down, sate itself on his famine, taunting.

Loser. Loser. Loser. Loser. Loser.

… And then the starvation was gone, but the hunger? It kept growing, cancerous, a tumor on his psyche. And he never did manage to climb from its maw, even now, even with a three course meal at his fingertips at all times — no, sometimes he is filled with fear and finds himself rationing his food, because somewhere within him it still lingers. He thinks it always will.

. . .

Loser.

. . .

There were two instances when Kakavasha was bathed in blood.

The first was on Sigonia IV. He held his sister tighter than he had anything else. The second was on a planet he doesn’t know of — all he remembers from it is the dark walls, the cold, the chains, the fighting.

Both times, everything was trying to kill him.

Both times, he was the last one standing. Because he is blessed, and he is lucky, and now he is afraid. And he will never shake that fear, and it will plague him like the hunger, and they will work together within him like he is unable to do with anyone else.

And when he tries to eat, he sees it, he tastes it. He was covered in it, head to toe, and it dripped in his mouth and nearly drowned him; the scent of iron in the air was so thick it seared his eyes and his nose and he choked on it — and, both times, he was trying desperately to save — first his family — he couldn’t do that — then himself.

Chosen one. Loser. Loser. Loser. Loser. Murderer.

Blood drowned the childlike light in his eyes and tears flushed it out, and they kept coming, over, and over, and over again. And when they were finally dried, they no longer gleamed the way they did when Sigonia IV’s sun hit them. They never would, because that sun was gone. And his sun was gone, too.

It was his instinct to cry, as is any child’s when they first breach the skin and meet the air — and he held onto it, desperate, because nothing else of his childhood was his to keep. Was this the gift of Gaiathra Triclops? A blessed child like him — Kakavasha — were his tears the rain?

Over and over, Kakavasha sobbed, until he couldn’t anymore, until his tears felt like crystals splitting his skull and skinning his cheeks on the way down, flesh careening like falling embers, like billowing fabric. He cried until it was no longer cathartic, instead painful and unneeded — until he was no longer a child of his mother — Kakavasha — but a pawn of Qlipoth — Aventurine.

Was this who he was, now? — Aventurine, Aventurine, he rolls the name over his tongue again and again until it feels like his — was this who he would always be?

(It never did feel like his. Then again, neither did Kakavasha.)

The blood. Loser. Winner. Murderer.

The entirety of his being and his body felt emptied, gutted, like he was never alive at all. Like he didn’t have a throat to swallow with, or a stomach to digest, or skin to cover his vulnerability; like it would all come tumbling out if he tried to eat now, just like the entrails of his kin, spilling forth and painting the sand in ropes before his wide eyes. Like his organs went along to be incinerated just like the rest of those that shared their make. Like he was a hollow shell masquerading as someone living. Like he’d begin to decompose as he walked and talked and tried to appear human still.

He didn’t deserve to be living. He didn’t deserve to be human.

Loser.

Eating wouldn’t fix that now.

Loser.

All the money in the world couldn’t buy a meal that would fix that now. 

[elixrr]

The Aventurine fanfiction drama is so weird. Yeah, you can have your personal morality balance and whatnot, but God forbid you send people death threats over fanfiction.

Sure, a good solution to this is to just avoid mentioning his past— namely, the time when Aventurine was a slave— but quit outright attacking these people for stuff like this. Look, I'm glad you want to be the better person, but how better of a person are you when you attack people who haven't even done anything to you?

I especially want to mention the author who wrote a fanfiction where the reader HELPS Aventurine. You don't like it because it mentions slavery? Fine, don't read it, not like it's even condoning slavery. I've seen their response, but I haven't read the fanfiction because they were forced to take it down for immense criticism and death threats. What happened to “if you don't like it, don't read it?” I'd understand if people didn't like it if it was condoning slavery (as long as there wouldn't be threats and insults involved), but it's not— quite the opposite of that, actually.

TL;DR?

Quit being horrible people to the authors who wrote fanfiction. It may be immoral, but what's worse is people sending death threats and saying terrible things to these people.

(also leave the person who wrote the fanfic where the reader helps aventurine when he was enslaved. they meant ABSOLUTELY no harm).

[elixrr]

Guys I'm crying. I'M CRYING. I'M GENUINELY TEARING UP AND CRACKING AT THE SEAMS AT THIS. stellar-skyy? Thank you. I literally love this fic OMGGGG I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY, WEEK, MONTH, YEAR, DECADE, LIFE.

I live. I LIVEEE. For the soft side of Aventurine. And you just brought that out so perfectly. <3

hello!! could i order an iced honey and vanilla tea for aventurine?

“order up! i have a drink here for aventurine, an iced honey and vanilla tea!”

☆ — if you're craving a drink, make sure to stop by the teashop!

i. SUMMARY: sometimes, all you need is to feel loved. and, as his closest friend, he will make sure you know you are. ii. CWS & NOTES: reader is insecure. platonic aventurine x gn!reader. hurt/comfort & fluff. 0.8k words. iii. A/N: i was so excited to see someone rq the platonic version of this prompt! also. please know this is my first time writing aventurine and i haven't played most of the penacony questline (i have been spoiled for the entire thing though-) so if the characterization is off i am sorry.

“Why are you friends with me?”

It caught Aventurine off guard, truth be told. For a moment he could only blink, staring at them dumbly while the question fully registered in his head. After a few seconds of processing, he managed a single word: “What?”

“Why are you friends with me?” They repeated, a tinge of frustration coating their words. The question settled in his mind, but still, he was at a loss for words.

How could he possibly answer that, when the two of them had been acquainted for so long that his life and theirs seemed fully intertwined? The question only planted the seed for more to sprout in his mind as he pondered it; whys melting into hows and what ifs. He struggled to imagine a life where he’d never met them all those years ago, a life where he never found someone to dull his sharpened edges and fill some fraction of the emptiness he felt inside.

They were a match that fit too perfectly; two lonely people, who’d tasted a life without solitude and couldn’t quite bring themselves to leave it behind again.

Yet, their friendship was a double-edged sword, one seemed to cut Aventurine from both sides. It took every ounce of self-control in his body to stop himself from digging his claws in and clinging tightly enough to them to make sure they wouldn’t leave. Simultaneously, another part yearned to push them so far away that he would never be able break them like he did with every other bright thing in his life. The thought of being alone again felt suffocating, even if the back of his mind still whispered that it was only his deserved fate.

On good nights, when they were at the tables with him, he insisted they were seated right beside him—his “good luck charm,” as he put it. He chased every moment, the flash of a smile on their lips when the dice roll just right, a barely stifled laugh at his jokes. No victory could outshine the few moments of pure, untainted contentment he felt when they were by his side.

It was almost laughable that they were questioning why he’d chosen them, when he was the one who didn’t deserve someone half as incredible as they were. He should be asking why they had settled for someone cracked and missing as many pieces as he did, not the other way around.

“What about you?” He asked, in lieu of an answer. “Why are you friends with me?”

“I already asked you.” They protested. Aventurine, being the good friend he was, ignored them.

“You’ve known me long enough to be acutely aware of my flaws, and yet you still stick around. Why is that?”

“Uh…” They hesitated for a beat. “You’re not—”

“Don’t deny it. Just answer the question.”

“Well, I guess…” They draw out the first few words, thinking. Aventurine kept his face neutral, despite the pounding of his heart. “Flaws are just flaws, aren’t they? I don’t think you could find a single one here that’s without their fair share. You’re still a good person despite them, and I enjoy your company regardless.”

The back of his throat had grown dry. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to quell the wave of emotions that almost swept him off his feet, forcing them back into the furthest reaches of his mind to unpack later.

“See!” He said, throwing his hands up in the air. “Exactly my point, why would you be any different?”

“That’s not what I was saying.” They murmured, shaking their head.

“What is it then?”

“It’s just… I’m not that important, am I?” They asked, not meeting his eyes. “I mean—You have other friends, don’t you? And if you had the choice, I’m sure you’d rather hang out with them than me, wouldn’t you?”

“You want to make that a bet?” Aventurine raised an eyebrow. “Because, my dear friend, that is a gamble you will lose. For starters, who I find important isn’t up to you; it’s up to me. And me has decided you are an incredibly important friend that I value very deeply. You can stew in your self-pity as much as you want, but that won’t change how much I care about you.”

“You really mean that?” They asked, in an almost inaudible whisper.

“Of course. Can I?” He asked, opening his arms out. They looked up briefly, and gave him a small nod, so he pulled them forward against his chest. He hugged them tightly, as if they would vanish into nothing if he let go. Their hand clutched the back of his jacket, their cheek pressing against his shirt.

Neither of them were without their cracks, it seemed, but maybe that was why they had connected in the first place.

“I’m friends with you because I want to be friends with you,” Aventurine said softly. “You mean the world to me, and it kills me that you don’t realize it.”

He knew he was little more than a hollow shell, but with them, he almost felt whole. It was almost enough for him; he could only hope it would be enough for them too.

reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♡

[elixrr]

I would do so much for the aventurine bullseye pfp I'M SO CLOSE TO DROPPING MY F2P TITLE ALL FOR AVENTURINE UGJHHHH

[elixrr]

GUYS IM IN LOVE IM IN LOVE IM IN LOVEEEEE

omg guys a café is opening in a nearby town, is this a sign,,, will Aventurine be my bookie bear?? ANYWAYS JOKES ASIDE, I love this, the fluff, the darling-ness of it, HOW ADORABLE THIS IS?? UGHH IM LITERALLY SO IN LOVE.

i find myself running home to your sweet nothings. he doesn't remember the last time his body has felt a single ounce of comfort or tenderness. but here he is, his head resting on your lap as you softly comb through his disheveled hair and lightly massage his scalp. you're talking about your day, telling him that you spotted an adorable tortoiseshell cat,. also walking past a brand new café that just opened which you want to visit with him. and whispering honeyed praised and sweet nothings into his ear, that sound like angelic chants to him. he's not sure if he's allowed to feel like this, to feel loved. because to love is to be vulnerable. perhaps that's why he wants to run away, escape and hide away. but he knows that such a scenario won't ever happen - it's unlikely. because at the end of the day he'll always find his way back to you. 

AVENTURINE, michael kaiser, rin itoshi, DAN HENG, SCARAMOUCHE, XIAO, kageyama tobio, ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA, gojo satoru + your favs

© TOORURS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms is not permitted.

[elixrr]

IDK IF I'M ALLOWED TO JOIN BUT—

No pressure! @plutoniclol @aibloomie @eroxotckv + anyone who wants to join(?) :)

cosmic persona quiz

tried this out and the results were kind of super accurate, so i wanna know everyone's too, naturally :p

tagging: @euseokz @lisztomqnia @pradadoie @explicitlyfine @peachsayshi @tetsuskei @tetzoro @scarabrat @kentoangel @fyodorloveclub @sleepygetou @saeue @fedyenkas-main @nkogneatho @zorosdimples @gojoath @kannra21 @izvmimi @likelilacwine @angelcent @st4rlingz @shujistars @missworld1994 ++ everyone interested ♥︎

[elixrr]

OH MY GOD SO ITS YOU- THE MASTERMIND BEHIND THE "It's heartbreaking" FIC I JUST AFDAHHAFJACHHSdDgDgADF-

Well then, allow me to properly introduce myself, if you'd let me. My name is Rose anddd I was wondering if we could be mutuals? I'd like to follow up and get to know you! ( if that's okay, of course ) I'm a little shy but would like to interact anyway :)

AAAA HI!! Yes, it's me 😭 I LOVE WRITING SAGAU ANGSTS HAHASDVQVQV

Ahem. Anyways, it's great to meet you, Rose!! I'm kind of awkward, but I guess I should formally introduce myself, too. Wonderful to meet you, Rose, I am Dynn, but I'm widely known as elixrr! AND YES AAHEHVW I WOULD LOVE TO BE MOOTS WITH YOU AAAAAAGAGQG

I love interacting with people AAAA 🫶🫶

🫶🫶 ILYYY PLATONICALLY WEEEEEEE

[elixrr]

guys I'm scared THERE ARE SO MANY YANDERE AVENTURINE FICS AND HE'S GIVING YANDERE but I need my freedom 💔💔

BUT IF EVIL, WHY HOT AQWQQHWVWVWVWV

[elixrr]

hi guys!! I'm working on some requests rn so bear with me 💀💀 I've been so dead and unmotivated lately lmfao (also writing for genshin is getting harder and harder lately bc I haven't gone on in quite some time)

(BUT I HAVE SM IDEAS FOR STAR RAIL)

anyways, see you guys soon <3