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Morgan & Tony Comics

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Cassie: So, have you decided what you’re dressing up as for Halloween yet?

Tim: [on his laptop] Of course. We had a whole day seminar about it last month.

The Titans:

Kon: Jesus. You Bats do everything at 150 percent.

Bart: A whole day? Why on earth would it take that long?

Tim: [looks up] Dressing up in Gotham is… tricky.

Cassie: …yeah. We’re gonna need a bit more than that.

Tim: [sits back]

Tim: 2014. Dick dresses up as Bruce Wayne. He completely disappears into the role because playing Bruce is “funny”. He accidentally gets roped into a mid-level meeting at W.E. where he agrees to throw out the 2015 budget.

Cassie: Seriously?

Tim: 2017. Jason decides to piss off Bruce by dressing up as Superman. Since most Gotham citizens haven’t really seen Superman, the headlines on November 1st are all about how Superman went on a killing spree and shot three gangleaders.

Kon: [frowning] I don’t remember that.

Tim: We killed the story before it reached any further.

Kon: oh. Uh, good.

Tim: 2018. Damian dresses up as Ra’s al Ghul. He gets kidnapped from school by the League of Assassins who thinks he’s finally embraced his heritage. Before we manage to find him, he convinces them that he is -in fact -a de-aged Ra’s. This works, somehow, because he argues that none of them has ever seen Ra’s as a child.

Bart: Really?

Tim: There are definitely parts of Ra’s organisation that would not have done well on ‘Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?’.

Tim: 2012. Bruce dresses up as a figure skater. Mr Freeze attacks the gala he’s at and we spend two weeks burying stories about Bruce Wayne -crime fighter on ice.

Gar: What?!

Tim: 2017. While the papers are taking photos of a blood-soaked Superman, Dick beats up Scarecrow while dressed as the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. Spoiler arrives to provide backup and accidentally punches the wrong scarecrow.

Bart: I-

Tim: 2016! Cass dresses up as Hillary Clinton. Her disguise is so good that the papers try to run a story about Hillary drop-kicking a Donald Trump supporter after Cass stopped a robbery where the guy wore a MAGA-hat.

Cassie: [snorts] Why didn’t you let them run that one?

Tim: 2019! I dress up as Spoiler and find out that Spoiler has been hooking up with some guy on patrol and no I will NOT talk about the way in which I found out thank you.

Gar: Hold it, you can’t just not tell-

Tim: 2013! Dick dresses up as Red Hood. Meanwhile, Jason dresses up as Nightwing. It was not coordinated. Both of their reputations take a massive hit for opposing reasons.

Tim: Also 2013! Damian dresses up as a cat and almost gets adopted by Catwoman.

Tim: 2019! Steph dresses as Batman and spends the night doing TikTok dances in public places. Bruce tried to deport her but you can’t kill a legend and you can’t deport a myth.

Tim: 2020! Bruce plans a seminar so we can all discuss and approve all costumes. Everyone is in favor. Duke is unanimously appointed as our judge since he has never caused any incidents. Bruce is unanimously disqualified from speaking at all because he has caused at least five international incidents. And seven national ones, not counting the time with the nun.

The Titans:

Kon: Did- did he dress up as nun, or…?

Tim: I don’t want to say.

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Tim: [walks purposefully into the living room where the family is watching TV] Good Evening family

Everyone:

Bruce: ...Good evening, Tim.

Tim: So, congratulations! You've all managed to reach the fucking limit of my GOD DAMNED patience. Well done Dick for adding the last straw when you got crumbs INSIDE MY COMPUTER

Dick: [looking like a deer in headlights] uuhm...

Tim: In order to cleanse myself of this...

Tim: [through clenched teeth] unbridled. anger.

Tim: I've decided to shanghai this family movie night

Jason: [opening a bottle of beer] to do what?

Tim: I'm glad you asked

Tim: [pulls a large stack of papers from his bag] these are some of your mission reports from the last year

Everyone:

Tim: I'm going to go through them all, point out your mistakes and mock you mercilessly

Damian: -tt- why am I getting punished for Grayson's inadequcies?

Tim: You're responsible for at least 1/3 of this breakdown

Jason: What's stopping us from just leaving?

Tim: If one of you leave, I'll still mock you in front of the whole family you just won't know why everyone's laughing at you for the next two weeks

Tim: If all of you leave I will rig all your technology to mock you in my place

Steph: [raises her hand]

Tim: Yes, Steph?

Steph: can I be excused? I do more good things for you than bad. I'll still stay and listen though

Tim:

Tim: an acceptable argument. You're excused

Steph: [fistpumps] Yisss

Bruce: [starts getting up] In that case, I-

Tim: sit. down.

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[on a rooftop stakeout]

Jason: [pulling some sandwiches and a thermos out of his backpack] In the spirit of "fuck your bullshit I'll do it myself" I've decided to become president next term

Tim: Like president of the whole country?

Jason: [sarcastically] No, like the president of my home owner's association. Yes the whole country

Tim: [thoughtful] well you do have enough blood money to fund the campaign

Jason: and enough guns to win it

Tim: I really don't like the implications of that statement, but I'm too swamped right now to get involved so I'm just going to ignore it

Jason: [handing a sandwich to Tim] my platform will be "get a grip" and my campaign slogan is "I get shit done"

Tim: You sure you don't want to go with "I've already proved that I know how to run a criminal empire"

Jason: [considering] Maybe. But I should probably insert an "efficiently" in there somewhere. Pander to the middle class, ya know?

Tim: That's true

Jason: Anyway, I just need to figure out my green initiative and then I'm ready to go

Tim: [biting into his sandwich] you know you're too young to run, right?

Jason: Why is that though?

Tim: Well you haven't lived long enough to be 35 yet so-

Jason: No, I mean, why is there an age limit? You're a 17 year old CEO of a multi billion dollar company but I can't be president? That's bullshit

Tim: [opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again]

Tim: I... don't know

Jason: So will Wayne Enterprises back me?

Tim: You know what? Throw in some gay rights and a sensible international policy and I'm in

Jason: wait, really?

Tim: Last month Bruce told me that I was too young to understand financial politics and honestly I've been looking for a way to get back at him. I'll write you a check tomorrow.

Jason: sweet

Tim and Jason: [munching on their sandwiches in companionable silence]

Tim: do you really have an HOA?

Jason: oh, yeah, they're horrible

Tim: why don't you just run for president there?

Jason: You think I have the fortitude to bring down Becky? She's made of spite and 90 dollar hand lotion and she was forged in a black friday sale.

Jason: I'm pretty sure she's immortal because I think she died once but stormed back out of hell after telling the devil she was going to give him a bad yelp review for sub-par service.

Tim:

Tim: [clears his throat] So the white house, huh?

Jason: I'm gonna have it painted pink

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Dick: can you please tell Steph to stop setting me up on dates with stylists?

Tim: [watching the Office on his laptop] Walls cannot hold the air any more than laws can imprison a thought

Dick: ...is that a yes?

Tim: No.

-

Jason: your stupid ex-girlfriend have been stealing my jackets. If she doesn't stop I'll shoot her.

Tim: [stretching] National treasures can't be shot they live in the abstract

-

Damian: Brown was unforgivably rude to me this afternoon-

Tim: [writing reports] You can't accuse the moon of being rude for waxing and waning as she pleases

-

Duke: I'm pretty sure Stephanie started an insta to mock Signal. I'm kinda mad about it.

Tim: [making toast] Only a fool would rage at god and expect their fortunes to be reversed

-

Selina: Look, I like Stephanie, but if she doesn't stop with the cat puns I'm going to put some very unpleasant things in her bed.

Tim: [playing Super Mario] Sometimes you must ask yourself: am I upset by how the world treats me, or am I upset by their reaction to my true self because it's not who I thought I was?

Selina: I hate this family

Tim: Don't shoot the meowssenger

-

Bruce: Stephanie is getting out of control lately, could you-

Tim: [doing laundry] An idea cannot be controlled; only questioned.

Bruce: ...then can you question her, please?

Tim: do it your damn self

Bruce:

Bruce: [reluctantly] she only listens to you

Tim: [slams the hatch to the dryer shut] Because I, unlike the rest of this family, know that running with the bulls and running AT one are two very different things. With wildly disparate results.

-Bonus-

Cass: Steph ruined my apartment

Tim: [making tea] ...are you expecting me to fix it?

Cass: no. Can I stay here?

Tim: Oh, yeah, sure.

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Batman: and here’s my new Robin

Jason: hi

Superman: [smiling] what a strapping young man! Just as polite as Dick was, I bet!

The Flash: he’s adorable!

Green Arrow: [with a sparkle in his eye] how are all your kids so cute when you’re such a menace?

Jason: [whispers through a smile] I will fuck you up

{years later}

Batman: and here’s my new Robin

Damian: …

Superman: well it’s, uh, nice to meet you lad.

Green Arrow: [to Batman] so is he like… y’know.

Batman: what?

Green Arrow: [coughs] you know, is he like the first one or are we gonna have another problem?

Batman: [glaring] Tim is very polite

Green Arrow : Tim once hacked into my phone so he could blackmail me into buying him a condo

Batman: Tim has a condo?

Damian: are we through entertaining this useless drivel now father? Do you wish for me to incapacitate the blue one?

Superman: well that answers that question

Black Canary: [frowning] Wait, what did you have on your phone that Tim could blackmail you with?

Green Arrow:

Green Arrow: Wow would you look at the time-

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Jason: [mid fight] -AND YOU’RE THE REASON MY FIRST VIGILANTE COSTUME WAS SUCH A DISGRACE! WHAT, WERE PANTS TOO EXPENSIVE?!

Bruce: You know what?! Why don’t YOU have a kid and then you can tell me how easy it is to make them wear pants all the time!! I tried my best! Everytime I turned around he had lost them!!

Dick: [in the kitchen] THEY WERE UNCOMFORTABLE

Jason: THERE WERE PANTS?!! WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME PANTS?!

Bruce: I TRIED!! YOU SAID YOU WANTED DICK’S OLD COSTUME

Jason:

Jason: LIES AND SLANDER-

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Here lies Elly. She was a good time

Oh uh.... Oh...

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So one time we went to Taco Bell and they messed up our order, like bad, ingredients wrong and tacos falling out when we tried to pick them up. And normally we don't worry about things cuz stuff happens u know and fast food can be stressful. But this was real bad. Plus we live in an area that's like 30 mins away from the nearest Taco Bell. So we called. They took down our name so we can get our food replaced next time we were in the area.

So a week later my nephew and I go and I mention it in drive thru and the lady was super rude, didn't let me finish my sentence or anything and was like "pull forward".

I'm like well can I also get this and I'll pay for that? And-

"that will be $xx.xx pull forward."

I look at my nephew because he wanted a drink and he's like never mind. So we pull forward, pay, get our food. I pull forward so I'm not holding up the line and check the food. It's wrong. Now my mom is mildly allergic to tomatoes and when we called to let them know the order was wrong we let them know we had ordered it without. So it should have been noted right? I've worked fast food. Taco Bell, McDonald's, and the fast food restaurant in a chain of gas stations. We've had orders like this. If we didn't have the order down specifically we ask the customer how it is meant to be. Sometime we ask even when it is written down just to be sure. So I'm wondering if the Taco Bell had our order written down or if it was generic like their service has been.

So I pulled around d and parked because it's easier to talk face to face, I didn't want to hold up the line, and I didn't want to deal with the incompetent lady I dealt with earlier. I look at my nephew and say jokingly "ima bouta go full Karen on their asses"

I didn't. I really don't have it in me. But I did ask if they had any notes on our order or if it was just the the things we needed. It took them a but to check but the girl told me there was no notes other than that it fell out of the bag. I told that was the taco (not the taco salad and burrito supreme) and I wasn't actually worried about it and that there was the wrong ingredients on our stuff last time and this time. I told her my mom was allergic to tomatoes. She asked how they were supposed to be so I told her. She said they can do that and they did. I thanked her and joked that I would ring the bell for great service (idk how many have them but Taco Bell has a Bell by the door that says ring Bell if we did a great job) anyway I said I would but that would probably be annoying. She laughed and thanked me for not. And said I could keep the other food if someone would eat it or they could take it and toss it. I said my nephew would likely eat it and told her to have a good night.

I then went back out and told my nephew what happened. I said that I didn't really be a Karen but was still firm about how they messed up. I was like a soft Karen. I was Sharon. He laughed and said one of the funniest things I've heard.

"Sharon is Karen"

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Yes...just yes.