elsfleur - Tumblr blog

[elsfleur]

guys so im keeping this account cause i may still post on here but i kinda wanted to start fresh also bc some of my irls found this and it made me uncomfortable i have waay too much real personal info on here so imma be using @ellabsweet for a lil while until the dust sorta settles, my fault for using my actual name on here and face reveals and stuff but anyways yea!! go on there if you wanna catch up with my writing or with me and thats on that i love you guys so much

[elsfleur]

[*ੈ✩] 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊 • 𝐄.𝐖

synopsis: in which the new girl in jackson attempts to easen her way into ellie williams’ heart after a tragedy

pairing: ellie williams x reader

warning: set in an alternative universe where ellie stays in jackson after joel’s death though she is dealing with severe depression, self harm and health issues, mentions of alcohol and drug usage

authors note: this is very much a sensitive topic very self harm focused as i made this heavily based on john keating and camille preaker from ‘sharp objects’ so please do not read if you are sensitive on this subject!

Ellie had grown so familiar to nightmares they barely stole a shiver out of her, the ever present foul feeling of poison building up at the pit of her stomach a mere proof of survival, tickle of life and its horror burned into her body as other things had been before.

But bad dreams, those were different. Skilled knives of the subconscious, aching for blood in the format of Joel’s aged face. I think you’d be a dog, kiddo, he stated simply shutting down her coyote self image. Loyal, he said.

Ellie had been a hound, certainly. Stared at herself through the mirror to face a rotten animal, monster-like dog with canines falling out of its gums, a beast not worth loving back. Her eyes had grown so sunken their green turned hazel, hair too long, existence bloodshot. The kids called her Scary Ellie. The bitter drunk at a dimly lit corner. The frozen in time and space, left to gather dust in greyer memories.

She glances at her bitten arm under the shower, traces the tattoo with water drops at the edges of her finger, twists the knob into closing the reservoir and drags a knife across the bite. She wants it out, needs it out. Joel’s death was etched into her skin and she needed more than a tattoo to rid herself of those thoughts. The tiled floor quickly filled with red. Part of her wished the reopening of wounds would finally turn her. Wished they’d have to shoot her in the head. She passed out soon enough.

“Morning, sunshine” You said softly, the banging in Ellie’s had from the fall still insufferable as she adjusted her eyes to the newly bright lightning of the infirmary, a girl she has only once seen before standing above her, wrapping her arm in lightly stained white gauze “You had us worried there for a moment”

Jackson’s people baptised you flower, from the gentleness and gardens and all throughout personification of a love practice like bouquets. There had been whispers at first, once you arrived a deer in headlights bloody, shaken and wide-eyed, how someone so careful could’ve survived so long alone in this new world that set out to kill all remnants of good fragility. The mystery of your ever so long sleeves even in summer and odd screams midst the night that carried your history were to remain hidden from the general public. But Ellie knew, because she had fucked you. She had felt it underneath her fingertips, and she had dismissed it.

She had been exhausted that night, two years since Joel had been killed, she wanted a distraction and you were breathtaking and lively in a way that inspired hatred inside her and Ellie wished to ruin it, to dig her fingers inside you and stain you with her own suffering, have your sunshine kneeled and begging, taste you senseless. It had been the opposite. You had dragged out softness out of her touch, so foreign it quickened her own heartbeat. Somewhere in between hunger filled kisses it had dawned on her you could not be corrupted, as though your souls found similar suffering within eachother in a perfect puzzle fit. Ellie thanked the broken lights for masking the tears that escaped her from your loving touch. She was tired and God, you were comfortable and you held her. There was no energy to fight back, secretly she did not want to. The next day she pretended you did not exist– you had never stopped waving her good mornings.

“What happened?” Ellie croaked out, throat dry.

“You know what happened, Els” You sighed and she cringed in response, defensive, sitting up on the bed before her body was fully ready to do so, head reprimending the feeling.

“I’m not some sort of suicidal if that’s what y-“

“You don’t have to hide from me” She scoffed in response, opening her mouth for a snarky retort that could not be left as you continued “Let me take care of you”

“It’s rotten work”

“Not for me. Not if it’s you.”

She rolled up your sleeve and squinted her eyes, an attempt to comprehend the lines that painted your skin as an artist examined a painting’s brush strokes, the self consciousness of the situation eating up at your insides, forming an emptiness pit. Ellie was adamant on her hold, a searching, sweet look plastered across her eyes so unfamiliar to you. It was exhausting to hide as you did, over a decade devoted to concealment, never once an interaction where you hadn’t anticipated which scar would reveal itself and blow your cover to a friend, a fellow patroller, even the damn clickers who surely had no conscience to mind. It had dawned on you that freedom looked a lot like Ellie’s gaze. There was no need to hide from someone courting oblivion as ardently as you were.

She rolled up your other sleeve, and there sat your exposed arms, so naked it made you breathless. The intimacy of it threatened your composure with a quivering a lip, both afraid to meet her eye and eagerly searching it for a reaction, met with a tenderness that contrasted the rough exterior she held.

“No one’s seen this?” Ellie asks quietly and you shook your head, the lump in your throat too strong to allow a proper answer, she accepts it regardless.

Ellie sucks in a sharp breath and stretches her arms above her head, removing the long sleeved fabric that covered her torso to reveal a now wretched forearm tattoo, ferns and a moth artistically arranged and destroyed by a needle and thread attempt to reconstruct it from her hurt. She faced you once before taking hold of your soft hand in her calloused ones and patting it down the ink, a feeling of high relief beneath your fingertips unveil the existence of scarring beneath. You gasp with a chuckle of understanding.

“You’re beautiful” you mutter before lowering your head to her reach, planting a soft kiss atop the centre of the tattoo, it is Ellie’s turn to be surprised. She opens her mouth as though you did not understand her, ready to claim herself a failure at the top of her lungs like a confession for an absolution she felt unworthy of, but the words failed to come out as you continued your venture in softness and lips “you are worth something as you are”

Ellie’s eyes swelled in tears, free falling out of control for the first time in a century, your warmth had given her a strange gift, the agony coming to surface past her protective walls. She felt her skin on fire, thought this to be the closest anyone could come to raw, took it upon herself to return you the favour, pushed your sleeves further up, kissed you in the middle of broken.

“I see you too” she said, running her fingers over the scars until you got a chill of goosebumps “Let me see it all”

Ellie pulled your shirt over your head as you sat still like an obedient child, wanting desperately to be praised for your newly found openness. Eased off yours shoes and socks, pulled down your slacks, and once only in a bra and panties, shivers covered your body in the frosty room, the air conditioner blasting a chill over me. Ellie pulled back the infirmary covers, motioned for you to climb in, and you did, feeling feverish and frozen all at once.

Her hands ran all over you, and you allowed them to, reaching your back, your breasts, thighs, shoulders. Her tongue in your mouth, down your neck, over your nipples, between your legs, then back to your mouth, you tasted yourself on her lips.

You both felt exorcised.

[elsfleur]

WE CARE !!! 🗣🗣

you guys are the sweetest ever then i promise i will start cooking something up with new writing i know im very mia but i do want to come back real bad !!!

[elsfleur]

do you guys care about my writing still i want start up again but i feel a little idk

[elsfleur]

the things i would do for an emoji anon 😔💔

[elsfleur]

if you don’t like hairy pussy you’re weird sorry. i don’t care if you’re hairy babe it’s fucking natural now sit on my face please. pussy is pussy amen

[elsfleur]

⋆·˚ ༘ * TRUE BLUE PART ONE

ellie williams x reader

← previous part | next part →

summary: being a miller is the closest thing ellie has felt to being safe, love no longer an unknown currency she felt unworthy of– though when she and her sister sarah fall in love with the same girl it is sure to ruffle some feathers in the peaceful life.

content warning: unrequited sarah miller x reader, pining and anticipation, reader is somewhat of a player, mentions of marijuana usage, alternative universe plot, love triangle blooming

word count: 913

🕊️ ʾ ⠀

you examined the room before you, how it seemed split in two in every sense besides the similar cream white walls all throughout it. sarah watched your every move as you did, fiddling nervously with her fingers, a newly acquired habit, as you lingered by ellie’s side of the room, eyes glistening at the sketches hung to the wall “you did these?”

“no” sarah laughs “art is more of my sister’s thing”

“right, you’re more muse material, huh?”

“is that your way of hitting on me?”

“don’t flatter yourself, miller” you joke, not missing the way the other girl bit down her cheeks to keep her smile from growing across her face. you let go of the edges of paper you held onto, the drawings that urged your attention being hesitantly abandoned as you sat down next to the girl who has invited you in the first place, melting into the bright yellow sheets with a soft hum.

“i can play the artist if you want” sarah teases leaning you back into the bed before she straddles your waist, a nervous laugh escaping your lips as she smiles down “you trust me?”

“most definitely not”

“c’mon, close your eyes” she demanded and you complied, suddenly feeling her weight shift as though reaching for something across the bedside table. once returned, you feel the fibres of a soft paintbrush brushing your skin ever so softly, tracing around your cheeks, down your nose, past your eyebrows, you giggled lightly at the feeling as sarah took the opportunity to breathe you in, the serenity of your features and your new grip at her waist bringing her warmth at the face. in a moment of courage she switched the brush for her fingers and traced the outline of your lips, dragging the bottom to display your teeth before allowing it back into place with a pop “i’ll show you art” she whispers before leaning in, until the door is swung open and the loud cursing brings her to fall onto the ground and you to straighten up.

“fuck, sorry” the auburn haired girl said clearing her throat and looking around to avoid the burning glares of her sister and your deer under headlights expression “sarah, dad’s calling you out back said something about you losing his keys again”

“for fuck’s sake” sarah muttered under her breath before sending you an apologetic look and skipping her way down the stairs to search for her father, leaving you and ellie alone.

she takes her time before allowing her attention to set on you and annoyingly takes notice of the way her breath hitches as she does. you lips were swollen apart leaving her brain to process the emotions in her stomach as hunger, sarah had underrated her praises to you.

“your drawings are really good” you broke the silence “makes me feel something, like it’s supposed to”

“you saw them before or after your tongue was shoved down my sister’s throat?” ellie joked.

“oh, it was during of course. nothing turns me on like some good kafka the metamorphosis sketches” you pointed towards the beetle drawing on the wall with an eye roll as the girl finally allowed herself to walk in, settling on her bed across from you and grabbing a lighter from her pocket.

“sarah has me on rolling duty for the day so”

“i can roll” you said walking over to her, hands stretched out as a plea for the weed that ellie hesitantly passed on, watching your every delicate move faster than she would’ve been able to do it. as she raised the lit lighter towards your blunt, you snatched it away, switching objects.

“handsome girls take the first hit” you justified lighting up the blunt for her as a flustered ellie sucked in the smoke and exhaled towards the ceiling, your fingers brushing against each other’s as you took it for yourself, sending lightning bolts across her arm. she felt stupid, pathetic even. ellie miller wasn’t exactly a girl magnet, though she has never been rejected, she could count on her fingers the amount of times anyone has ever taken a lead on flirting with her: none. the compliment had her overthinking in a way that bordered concerning.

“you make it a habit to flirt with entire families?” she gathered the audacity to say after a few rounds of shared smoke, the delayed reaction catching you off guard as her eyes met yours for a response, light layers of red staining the white around her green orbs, so curious at you.

“i’m not flirting with you, i’m stating what i see”

ellie laughs this time, her eyes briefly leaving yours before finding their way back like magnets “what do you see?”

“i see a girl who has eyes hazy green like forest fires, gets pink under the freckles when she forces those eyes towards eye contact too long, doesn’t erase her sketches before putting pen over them because the true feeling is in the raw strokes, has scars under that arm tattoo i see i’m guessing you hate to talk about and that’s why you covered it, did i get a good read?”

“it still sounds like you’re flirting”

“maybe it’s hard to describe you without romanticising it” you shrugged before leaning in “what about me, what do you see?”

before ellie could open her mouth to answer, sarah walks in with an apology for her delay as she settles between the two girls.

[elsfleur]

umm… it’s a yes for true blue from me. (‼️)

thank you for indulging me nonnie i’ll write it even if it’s just you and i reading it now 🤞🏻

[elsfleur]

⋆·˚ ༘ * TRUE BLUE PROLOGUE

ellie williams x reader

summary: being a miller is the closest thing ellie has felt to being safe, love no longer an unknown currency she felt unworthy of– though when she and her sister sarah fall in love with the same girl it is sure to ruffle some feathers in the peaceful life.

content warning: unrequited sarah miller x reader, pining and anticipation, mentions of marijuana usage, alternative universe plot, light nsfw content, based on this joel fic, this is only a prologue i’ll write it only if you guys want me to

word count: 557

🕊️ ʾ ⠀

sarah miller was the textbook definition of charm in its very own exclusive personification, from the bright eyes to the citrus perfume, she was a radio song that got you tapping your fingers to the rythym on the wheel in the midst of a particularly stressful day, a silver lining. ellie miller on the other hand, was more similar to beer or sushi, an acquired taste. a good fantasy for cold nights but not quite the company you’d aspire to keep in warm mornings. and it would’ve been fine, truly, neither of them cared for their differences or evoked sibling rivalry, together in all that mattered and oh so far apart in the aspects that didn’t– there was a homely peace in the miller household that exceeded expectations for such strong personalities and it would’ve remained so if it wasn’t for an unexpected similarity between the sisters: their taste in women.

“ellie are you listening?” joel cut her off from her thoughts, his voice managing to echo past the loud music blasting through her headphones quick to be pushed down to her neck as he beckoned the girl over from her place at the couch towards the kitchen table where her sister stood chuckling disapprovingly, pouring treats into small colorful containers “is she ever?” sarah joked, getting slapped in the arm playfully.

“what, are we prepping for a candyland party or just bulking up for winter?”

“sarah is having a friend over”

“a friend” ellie repeated in raised eyebrows looking only at the blush that crept up her older sister’s cheeks ever so subtly as she shook her head, sending ellie a small glare for the implication joel had thankfully not caught on “what’s his name?”

“her name” sarah cleared her throat “anyways it doesn’t matter the point was you need to help me get these up to my bedroom” she shoved two of the containers into ellie’s hands before trailing off to their inconveniently shared room she was apparently being kicked out from for the day. as they finally reached the door, sarah motioned her elbow to stop the doorknob opening bringing ellie’s attention to her confused, a shy whisper being mumbled and misunderstood.

“i said…” sarah sighed “could i borrow your, you know, your green today?”

“no girl is gonna buy that you’re a stoner if you keep refering to weed as my green you might aswell be calling it the devil’s salad you know that right?”

“jesus christ ellie i’ll pay you back”

“see you could’ve started with that” ellie smirked “do you even know how to roll a blunt though?”

“well if you can do it it can’t possibly be that hard”

“ha ha ha you’re so funny” she pushed past her to open the door placing down the candy on sarah’s nightstand “but seriously, who’s the girl? to get little miss goodie two shoes to start fake smoking she deserves a praise from me who have been trying to be a bad influence for years”

“hmm how do i put it in ellie words” sarah joked, but genuinely wandered in her brain “you know how you felt that time dad bought you a telescope and you managed to see a blood moon for the first time up close? that’s what being close to her feels like to me. all of the time”

🕊️ ʾ ⠀

[elsfleur]

sincerely please please stop attacking me on anon, besides two people who have been nice to me and understanding i am getting things that go as far as poking fun at my own abuse. i used this account as an escape, i have used the term groupie without knowing its history and hurt someone and apologized for it and promised it wouldn’t happen again, there is not much left for me to do other than show growth from now on as i never intended to be disrespectful in the first place so please stop sending me hate i genuinely do not have the mental stability for that

[elsfleur]

that anon was being way dramatic about the term groupie. it is not that deep ur ok i promise.

thank you for saying this my love :( i just dont want to risk anyone being hurt by my words or phrasing and i genuinely didnt think it was a bad term and wasn’t aware of the history otherwise i wouldnt have risked using it in case it were to trigger someone or be insensitive in general, i really really didnt mean to upset anyone i hope my sincereness comes across

[elsfleur]

groupies? you mean women who have been abused by men and viewed as objects to satisfy their sexual needs? women who have expressed the traumas these experiences have brought? lol

hi anon, i havent been on here but i saw this and had to reply. so, im not american and english isnt my first language, in brazil the term “groupie” doesn’t even exist in the first place so i sincerely believed it to mean just a hardcore fan that follows bands around and i had no prior knowledge of this subject, i did not mean to use language that offends anyone let anyone minimizes traumatic experiences other has been through especially as i relate to the experience of being viewed as an object to satisfy others and have been previously assaulted abused and taken advantage of by people that i have previously admired and loved, once again, i am really sorry for the disrespect my wording caused and for the insensitivity, it will not happen again.

[elsfleur]

Ok but like what if Abby and Ellie were in a rock band??? 🫣

LISTEN. yes. oh my god anon your brain???? if you let me i will write this au seriously the mental image of this immediately boosted my serotonin you are a genius what instrument do you think theyd play . is it too cliche to claim an electric guitar for ellie-

uhhh ellie x reader x abby fic where theyre in a rock band and reader is their groupie???? does anyone want this???

[elsfleur]

also i just saw a tweet about this and like it is indeed correct why the hell is ellie shaved in game like let’s be completely honest my girl has body hair all over and she simultaneously doesn’t give a fuck and is proud of it do you genuinely expect me to believe ellie williams is out here in the apocalypse thinking damn gotta go shave my armpits? she at MOST trims it and also she has a happy trail for sure and i will ride it ☝🏻

[elsfleur]

i genuinely believe ellie and abby would like rock and metal bands. they love some black sabbath, iron maiden, van halen, deep purple, metallica, led zeppelin, motley crue, & etc….

LIKE I COULD TALK ABT THIS FOR HOURS

babe… if you can talk about this for hours message me please i swear im doing a playlist thing for the both of them so i can get the vibes and write them but im a soft indie and sad pop girlie who at best had an emo phase in 2012 like i need the help and the recs cause theyre for sure not listening to taylor swift- maybe boygenius though

[elsfleur]

Ellie unironically listens to teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus and Creep by Radiohead

Abby listens to 90s country

this is correct and now im itching to write something teenage dirtbag themed for ellie also just the image of joel walking in on her blasting out creep dramatically and just standing by the door judging her is now etched into my brain

[elsfleur]

y’all this is important, you can send it to me on anon if you don’t feel comfortable commenting but like genuinely if abby and ellie were in this universe right now what songs do you think they would listen to what’s on their playlist unironically