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elvenrin · 11 days ago

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the story needed at least two braincells involved (nat and steve) since bucky and y/n were just silly 🫣😂 thank you so much for reading!! 🥹♡🫶🏻

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 [𝟐]

pairing: history major!bucky x librarian!reader

summary: a reserved librarian and a history-loving student are now left to navigate a heartbreak born out of misunderstanding, but like it has always been known, frozen hearts never fail to seek out warmth from those that feel like home

word count: 5.9k

warnings/themes: fluff, healing, did i mention fluff?, ⑱ minors dni, masturbation (clothed, affectionate and very soft), just a lot of softness

a/n: this 💌 is a love letter to everyone who read, liked, commented and reblogged part one of this story ♡ every single interaction brought a smile to my face. i know it seems like this little thing, putting words together and posting them, but to me writing is personal, intimate and revealing. i'm over the moon whenever someone says they loved it, or that it stirred emotion in them. thank you for your time and love, and i hope you enjoy part two!!

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨

Bucky Barnes was known for his easy-going demeanour and patience, but as he was pacing restlessly back and forth, those qualities have somehow turned their backs on him when he needed them the most.

Steve was sitting on the couch in Bucky's room steadily losing patience, getting increasingly dizzier watching Bucky like he was witnessing a taxing match of tennis.

“Jesus, man, will you calm down and sit? You will wear down the floor.” Despite the partial amusement Steve felt at that moment, he couldn't help but empathise with his annoyingly dense best friends. He knew that the two of you will find a way to get back to each other, as he was a first hand witness of both you and Bucky gradually falling in love. Steve also received a no-nonsense kind of message from Nat that he needed to beat some sense into Bucky or else, and he took Nat's threats very seriously.

Bucky needed him now, he needed his best friend to help him find his way back from the confines of his mind, he needed Steve to save him from the agonising thoughts threatening to drown him.

“I can't, Steve. I've been restless since she ran away from me. And then she didn't show up for her shift in the library. Oh god, I've messed up everything.“ Bucky heavily plopped down next to Steve, propping his elbows on his knees as he held his head with shaking hands, eyes glossy and hair disheveled.

He looked dejected and defeated, a man who couldn't accept that he might have lost the best thing in his life before it even had a chance to happen. Steve never saw his friend in such a state before, his eyes tracing Bucky with a worried furrow in his eyebrows. In a moment of clarity, he understood the intensity with which Bucky has truly fallen for you.

“You didn't mess up anything.” Steve placed his arm around Bucky, squeezing his shoulders affectionately in an attempt to provide comfort.

“Trust me, okay? I know her. She was just overwhelmed, and her coping mechanism is to flee. She ran away because of you but not for the reasons you might think.”

That made complete sense, as it was a habit of yours to retract whenever you found yourself in a situation you couldn't handle. But sense had been locked out of Bucky's mind by the unreasonable irrationality currently in power, dictating his nonsensical behavior.

Bucky raised his head, a dull headache suddenly settling in. His blue eyes were filled with unshed tears, unable to release the pent up heartache that was building up which genuinely had Steve worried.

“No, Steve, it's my fault. You don't understand. I pushed her when she wasn't ready, I didn't even stop to think if I'd be crossing her boundaries, I was selfish but she when she looked at me like that I just couldn't control myself-”

“Whoa there Buck, stop. Stop.”

Steve noticed that Bucky was rapidly spiraling, and his voice was laced with seriousness, demanding of attention and authority Bucky was too weak to even try and fight against.

“That's all in your head, you hear me? You're overthinking the whole thing. Did she kiss you back?”

“.....yeah, she did.”

“Did she push you away and tell you to stop? Did y/n indicate in any way that she didn't want that?”

Bucky sat calmly for a change, his gaze pensive as he was ruminating over Steve's words. “She didn't. She… actually pulled me closer.”

For the first time in two days, some clarity was finally settling in his mind, a realisation sinking in.

“And there you have it, man. I guess you have your answer, no?

A sensation of palpable relief washed over Bucky as a mental weight fell off his shoulders, Steve smiling with gentleness at his childhood friend. “Something else - I was at her place yesterday.”

Bucky's head snapped, now entirely focused on what he's going to hear next.

He missed you, even after a day and a half of not seeing you. He never realised how much he depended on your presence until he no longer had it. Your absence felt like a void in his life, which was quite contradictory because when you weren't physically there, you still constantly inhabited his thoughts.

“She's okay, but she's hurting. I'm going to tell you something she made me swear not to tell anyone, and if you ever tell her I told you, I'm going to burn all of your history books. This is a threat.”

Bucky finally cracked a smile at this, trembling as he was running out of patience. “Cross my heart and hope to die, Steve, but for the love of god just fucking tell me already or I'll lose it.”

“Okay, okay-”, Steve held his hands up as if surrendering. “She's got it into her head that you don't like her romantically, that you kissed her just…. to kiss. She thinks she's unworthy of you. I tried talking to her but...”

Time stood still as Bucky heard what Steve said perfectly well, but it was failing to make any sense to him. It was silly, almost, to think that your pretty little head was in such a dense state of false impression that you were not good enough for him.

He stood abruptly, making Steve flinch from the sudden action.

“I need to see her. I need to talk to her, I have to tell her everything. Don't wait up for me, man,” Bucky was flying across the apartment with a rush of adrenaline, putting on his shoes, grabbing his coat and phone and opening the door with such intensity Steve thought it was a miracle it didn't come off its hinges.

Bucky stopped in his tracks, and pulled Steve into a tight hug. “Thanks man. I owe you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Steve grinned, hugging Bucky just as tightly. “I know, pal. Now stop lingering about and go get your girl.”

Insistent, determined knocking on your front door awoke you from a deep sleep. While you still felt a dull headache behind your eyes, you felt a little bit better after a few hours of sleep. Nat will definitely be happy to hear that, as you noticed that she was no longer here. She must've left for her morning classes while you were asleep.

She rushed to your place the moment you called her sobbing and gasping for air, your words so incoherent that Nat managed to hear only “library”, “James” and “kiss”. She made sure you took a hot shower, and then lovingly tucked you in while she went to buy some dinner and ice cream.

By the time she was back, you had calmed down a bit, and were able to recount what had happened. While Nat personally thought both of you were idiots who needed to confess to each other, she hid that sentiment and comforted you as much as she could. She refused to leave you alone in your state, and had invited herself for a sleepover for which you were eternally grateful. She loved you, you were her found family, her sister, and her shoulder will always be there to collect your tears, and her arms ready to hug the sadness out of you.

Exhaustion had settled deep in your bones after more than a day of crying every so often - sometime last night you completely surrendered to your heartache in Nat's arms, defeated at long last by the suffocating weight in your chest and you cried until your tears ran dry, the cathartic feeling washing over you, finally letting you fall into a dreamless slumber.

Dragging yourself out of the bed, you unlocked the door and opened it, the shock of seeing Bucky jolting you awake and aware as adrenaline rushed through your system.

He was panting, inhaling deep breaths while leaning on the door frame in hopes of catching his breath. Taking in his disheveled appearance, you wondered if he had run here. A palpable moment of sheer awkward silence was suspended in the air, none of you knowing how to break it.

Despite the rush of emotions, you were surprised that you actually began to calm down once being in Bucky’s presence, no matter the circumstances.

“Can we talk? Please?” Bucky decided to go straight to the point and speak frankly, unwilling to lose more time. Something softened in your countenance seeing his eager expression, his eyes filled with regret and a tremble noticeable in his voice.

You nodded, letting him in your dorm room, secretly feeling a thrill of being in his proximity again, although the nervousness started to creep in. Both of you were on the verge of speaking but none uttered a word, and it was beginning to feel stifling and downright unbearable.

He took in your messy hair, wrinkled oversized shirt, bruised eyes that spoke of many shed tears, and he was heartbroken by it.

The guilt was weighing him down. To have been the reason for your sadness, a once shy but gentle girl that now stood in front of him with slumped shoulders avoiding looking him in the eyes. He was supposed to be your safe harbour, not a storm surge in an open sea.

“Bucky, I- “, you began but he cut you off before you even uttered a whole word. “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry.”

The pain was evident in his voice, in his eyes, in the downturned corners of his mouth. You wondered why on Earth would he apologising, when you were the one who hightailed it out of the library. It was maddening to think of all the things that must have brewed in Bucky's mind since then.

“I should be apologising, not you.” You looked down at your feet, your voice raw and subdued. “I ran away without an explanation and then avoided confronting you. I am the one who’s sorry, James.”

The more he listened to you, the more he realised that both you have interpreted this situation in vastly different ways - you thought he was upset because you ran away as if his kiss was unwanted, and Bucky thought you were upset with him because he was hasty with his actions and had done something you weren’t ready for.

“Y/n, I didn’t respect your boundaries. I didn’t even consider if you wanted to be kissed, I got lost in the moment like some kind of idiot and went for it without thinking.”

“You are an idiot, James,” you breathed, incredulous at his absurd statement. “You are the most respectful guy I know. I wouldn’t have let you kiss me like that if you were crossing any boundaries.”

Bucky’s eyes slightly widened, hope and anticipation etched on his face. “So you…?”

“Yes, Bucky, I very much wanted to be kissed by you”, you stated, feeling relieved at finally admitting that. “For an academic genius, you really are dense.”

Seeing how you were opening up to him little by little, he took a few steps forward to stand closer to you, but still at a significant distance he desperately wanted to lessen, as his hands ached to touch you and hold you.

“I was so worried I pushed you into it…why did you run away then?” He pleaded. He was begging at this point. He had to know.

This was it, y/n. Now or never. You’ve yearned and longed and loved him all by yourself for too long. The room was suddenly stifling and devoid of air, nevertheless, you drew a shaky breath and braved the storm ahead.

“Because I don’t think that you have feelings for me. And because…I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re out of my league, you always have been. I can’t measure up.”

There was a deafening silence as he stood there listening, rigid and motionless, an unreadable look on his face.

“And…”, your voice wavered as you hung your shoulders low wishing that you could fold into yourself and disappear, but you pushed through. “And because I think that kiss doesn't hold the same meaning to you as it does to me.”

Hearing this was the final drop for Bucky, and all the unsaid words rushed out of him uncontrollably as the walls between you shattered to pieces.

“How can you even say that?” His hoarse voice was laced with undeniable emotion as he looked at you with a pained expression, both that you thought so little of him, and so little of yourself.

“My feelings for you have been getting stronger since the moment Steve introduced us. Every invitation, every conversation, every touch, every cup of coffee, the kiss was to get closer to you. I was trying to let you know how I feel about you.”

The tight knot you felt in your chest was getting untangled with every step he took towards you and with every word that passed his lips, your eyes burning and glistening with tears that came bursting in hot waves the moment he circled his arms around you in the most affectionate way you’ve ever been held; and he held you so tightly that you couldn't fall apart even if you wished to.

You hid your face in his neck, silent tears gently falling on his skin and disappearing beneath his shirt, while you struggled to calm your breathing.

“Have I ruined things between us?“ You asked softly, so inaudibly and muffled that Bucky only heard you because he was holding you impossibly close.

He tightened his embrace when he heard your voice shaking, gliding his hand from the small of your back, across the length of your spine to finally place it on your head and affectionately caress your unruly hair. You crying made his chest tighten with a weight that could be dispersed only after he'd made absolutely sure that you were okay.

“You haven't ruined anything. I would never let go of you so easily”, he spoke with tenderness. “Shhhh, my love, please. Don't cry.”

Love. My love. Just as those words left his lips, you held your breath in disbelief and Bucky hugged you even tighter when he no longer felt the rising and falling of your chest.

His words didn’t have the effect he intended because hearing him calling you his love almost made your knees give out if it weren't for Bucky holding you. “Breathe, y/n.”

You took a tentative breath as you moved away just enough to look at him, your arms still intertwined with his as both of you were unwilling to let go of each other.

Bucky caressed your cheek lovingly with the back of his fingers, then placed his hand fully on your cheek and brushed the remnants of your tears with his thumb. He leaned down, his eyes searching yours finding nothing but affection in them. Encouraged by this, he closed the space between the two of you, pressing his lips on yours with such passion that you were ready to melt on the spot. Addicted to the sweet taste of him, you vowed to never kiss anyone's lips but his. As Bucky was kissing you, devoted to communicating his love without words, he realised that every person he's ever kissed before you had long vanished from his mind. Everyone else ceased to exist the moment he had a taste of you. He pecked your lips one final time before pulling back so you can catch your breaths.

World seemed to shift back to its axis, your thoughts pleasantly swimming through clearer waters now that the anxiousness has settled down, the lungs no longer obstructing the path of the air. The ache in your chest was still very much there and stronger than ever, but it was no longer menacing. This ache felt… good. Exhilarating. Pleasant, even.

“So….we’re good?”

Bucky pressed his forehead to yours, a comfortable feeling cascading down and enveloping you both in a satisfying warmth. “Yeah baby, we’re good. Under the condition that I ask you out on a date, and you say y-”.

“Yes.”

A chuckle left Bucky’s lips at your eagerness, coaxing out a genuine smile out of you, your heart happier than you ever remembered it to be.

After half an hour of persistent begging by Nat and Steve for a night out at the club to unwind and have some fun, you finally relented and said you'd go. Needles to say that Bucky was down the moment he heard you were coming as well.

All of you were standing around a high table in a club whose walls were vibrating from the bass so strong you could feel it in your chest. The air was shimmering a pearly white due to the fake mist pumped in the club, its sweet aroma mixing with all the perfumes and cigarette smoke.

Both Bucky and you had a fair amount of drinks, the table littered with shot glasses, water bottles, mints and cigarette buds. You were both drunk, not enough to skew your awareness or your memories but just enough for your blood to sing with liquid courage you both consumed. Your head was pleasantly light, body unwinding as the alcohol settled into your system.

This was not your kind of place, but there was something about the laughter of your friends, the loud music and the tingling feeling on your skin from having Bucky's gaze on you at all times. Nat and Steve knew that something special had transpired between you but they decided to leave you both be and not ask any questions, knowing how emotionally taxing these months have been. Seeing the subtle loving touches already told them everything they needed to know, for now.

There was always time for an ambush and interrogation later, because there was no way Nat or Steve would survive not knowing the details.

Bucky's blue eyes were glazed with slight redness, which made his irises the clearest hue of blue you've ever seen. He was attentively following your every move while you jumped and danced with Nat to the deafening EDM coming through the speakers. He couldn't take his eyes off of you.

You jumped without a care in the world, your hair flowing around your face as you moved. To Bucky's delight and utter despair, you opted for a crop top shirt tonight, and even though you had a high waisted skirt, your shirt rose up with every jump, revealing more of your skin.

A peculiar scorching feeling was spreading through Bucky's chest and all the way down to his crotch. The dangerous yearn was fleeting, but once he felt it there was no going back from it.

He wanted to place his hands firmly on your soft hips, and dig his fingers into your pliable skin.

Bucky had no idea what to do with himself. He saw something in you beyond your beauty that took his breath away. He lovingly unraveled parts of your personality not even you knew you had, and he fell in love with each one of them. And he knew all that just by being friends with you. It made his head spin imagining what a real relationship with you would be like. Despite knowing where he stood with you and you with him, you still didn't make anything official. But, god, he wanted that. He wanted you.

And the physical desire was never this consuming and controlling before.

He walked towards you in the packed club, moving through the sea of people who paid him no mind. You felt a warm hand take yours as Bucky spun you around making you face him. Everything moved in slow motion as if you were under water, and you could feel your heart beating so loudly that you felt it pulsating in your stomach.

Bucky's hands hesitantly found your waist, his fingers slowly reaching under your shirt to feel your skin under his fingers. You didn't stop him and were certainly not planning to which Bucky noticed, dazed by the way your breath hitched when his fingers grazed your ribcage, almost reaching your breasts while the other hand was on your lower back, pushing you closer to his body.

You leaned, sneaking a hand to press it on the nape of his neck and gently push him towards you until your lips were brushing against the side of his face, close enough for him to feel your breath on his skin.

The warmth of your breath made Bucky's skin erupt in goosebumps and he was keenly aware of every little move of your lips once you started speaking. “Do you want to leave with me?”

He groaned, eagerly nodding. “Thought you'd never ask.”

The trip to your dorm was clumsy and in a haste, Bucky stealing a kiss after kiss rendering you unable to watch where you're going. You thought that it was definitely a miracle that both of you arrived in one piece. In the span of what felt like 5 seconds, Bucky had you sitting on his lap on the mini couch in your room, lips plastered together in a dimly illuminated dark room. There was nothing holding you back from surrendering to the feelings that were suppressed for so long, and it was liberating to be able to love and show that love to Bucky whenever you wanted and needed.

"Can you keep a secret?" Bucky's voice was suddenly raw with emotion, his eyes solemn. He said it very softly, like the words he's about to say are too delicate and intimate to be spoken any louder.

He placed slow, gentle kisses on your neck, eliciting quiet gasps and whimpers from the sensation.

"When it comes to you, always", you said in a whisper.

There was a palpable pause between the two of you, a second that lasted for eons. Your heart was both beating too fast and not beating at all.

"I'm in love with you. I have been for a very long time". He spoke against your lips, forehead touching yours, eyes tightly closed hoping that not being able to see your face will somehow make all this easier. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you this sober".

"Will you then say it to me again, tomorrow?"

“Tomorrow, and every day after that for as long as you will have me,” he promised.

You traced your finger over his velvet lips, your touch as gentle as a feather. “And I with you. I'm in love with you too. ”

“And will you say it to me tomorrow?” He echoed your words, making you laugh.

“Oh you bet, James. I will make sure my words are forever etched on your tongue because I plan on kissing you every time I say that I love you.”

“Now there's something to look forward to. Doll, you are dangerous”, he looked at you with such adoration and desire that you had to glance away for a moment to compose yourself.

"And I think I'm going to lose my mind if you don't kiss me within the next three seconds", he breathed as he dived to catch your lips without giving you a chance to react.

He kissed you with fervour, like this would be the last time his lips would touch yours. You could feel him growing beneath you, and you shuddered as he moved you further up on his lap and ignited every single nerve in your body as your skirt hiked up to pool around your hips.

The desire was getting more intense, fueled by the alcohol and raw emotions both of you felt after your confessions. You hooked one finger on the waist of his jeans, looking expectantly at Bucky as you noticed he was trying to hide his frustration that the thick denim dulled the feeling of warmth he could be feeling from you.

“Can I….?” You trailed off, knowing he'll know exactly what you meant. He nodded eagerly, and undid his button and zipper, lifting his hips so he could slip his jeans lower, leaving him in his boxers.

You both released a tense gasp when you lowered down on his lap, the feeling much more intense than before. There was something infinitely ecstatic and arousing having your and Bucky's most intimate and sensitive areas lovingly touch with nothing but thin layers of cotton in between that let you feel everything, and somehow still not enough. He could feel your wetness, you could feel his pulsating warmth, and it was mind-blowing.

“I'm sorry but I don't think I can stop, this feels too good”, you said breathlessly, thoughts incoherent and leaving you almost tongue-tied as you moved on his lap, unhurried and deliberate.

“I don't want you to.” Bucky moved his hand from your hip to brush away the tear that was rolling down your cheek.

He was about to ask you if you wished to stop despite what you both said, albeit it would be a weak attempt of speaking, but you anticipated him and placed your finger on his lips, touching your forehead to his and looking deep into his eyes.

“It's okay. I'm okay.” You moved slowly on his lap, your clothed core sliding deliciously over him and making him shiver of overstimulation as there was nothing but thin layers of fabric between you.

“I just- I've never done this with someone I'm in love with,” you said, voice filled with emotion. He answered you wordlessly by giving you a chaste kiss, both of you breathing the same air with heavy breaths, bodies radiating with heat and covered in a thin layer of sweat.

Every cell in your body felt like it was short-circuiting. “It feels overwhelming. It's- oh my god”, a gasp leaving your lips when he pressed your hips down harder on him and the pressure increased tenfold.” I- It feels too much to love you physically and emotionally like this at the same time.”

Your breathing was uneven, it was impossible to know where an inhale began and an exhale ended. Bucky looked at you with intense adoration, his lips swollen and long strands of hair plastered to his forehead.

His hands found their way beneath your shirt to delicately cup your breasts and deliciously squeeze the wonderful softness.

God, he looked sinful. A sin that will be your most delicious undoing. “James, I'm- I'm going to-”, your voice shaking and unable to form a sentence, but Bucky didn't need any words to know you were close. “Baby it's okay, you can let go.”

Your whole body was speaking without words, and he was the one who understood its language.

“Y/n, let go. Come on, baby. You can feel the effect you have on me, can't you?” he breathed with a strained voice, helping you roll your hips over him with an intensity that made you see stars. “You're the only one who makes me feel like this.”

You could definitely feel him beneath you, hard and a glorious fuel for the imagination.

“I- y/n, I'm so close,” his voice now barely a whisper. He moaned deliciously in your ear, his head falling on your shoulder, too overwhelmed to process anything else other than your movements.

This was a breaking point for you, and you surrendered to the euphoric climax as your body trembled in Bucky's arms, your mind filled with static buzz as he continued moving. Bucky's own climax caught up with him as he stilled, breathing hitched and his hands digging in your hips.

“Y/n? Love? Come back to me.” You have never felt so euphoric, your mind seeing other dimensions as you fought to come back to reality, letting the sound of Bucky's voice guide you.

"Was it that good? Did that feel okay?" Bucky asked and you could hear that he spoke through a smile, but it took you a moment to find your voice. "Okay? No, it was not okay. It was fucking earth-shattering."

“Enough… to say yes if I asked you to be mine?”

“Bucky, I'm already yours.”

His hands started roaming up and down your thighs, leaving goosebumps on your skin in their wake. The tension in the air was rising again, and it was you who broke the agonising silence.

“James… can we take this slow?”

”Of course we can, doll. You don't ever have to feel pressured, we can take this at your pace. Besides, we're both drunk and overstimulated and I-” he paused to place a hungry kiss on your lips, “want you when our heads are clear. I want you when you're able to remember every touch of my hands on your body or how I'd feel inside you. I don't want you to forget how my lips feel on your skin, or I forget how yours feel on mine because we were intoxicated."

Bucky pecked your lips, smiling in amusement in the process. "Or because my baby can't function because she just had an earth-shattering orgasm," he added, poking your sides tickling you, eliciting a wave of uncontrolled giggles.

"So... you mean intoxicated on love?" you grinned widely.

"On alcohol, you silly,” he laughed and left a loud, endearing smooch on your cheek.

You noticed that he spoke as if the most intimate act he could do with you will be a proof of divinity and he needed to savour it with a clear head.

Words so divine that felt like a promise when spoken aloud. Hearing him display such raw, honest feelings at the palm of his hand and offering them to you, made the affection you felt for him grow. He really cared about you.

It was evident that he did, his actions were louder than his words. But this time you truly felt it, with no doubts in your mind clouding this revelation. He cared. And he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

At the same time, Bucky was secretly waging a silent battle with himself. You were right there in his lap, sitting flush against him, feeling your breasts push against his chest with every breath you took.

Hair messy, hands pleasantly cold and your lips swollen and bruised from kissing his - resisting you was the hardest thing he's ever done.

You were too important to him, and no matter how much of a herculean feat this was, he will wait for you to initiate the first step. There is nothing on this Earth that will make him cross your boundaries without your explicit permission. Besides, you were his, and he was yours. Everything has finally fallen into place, and there was a while lifetime awaiting you, filled with chances and opportunities to lovingly show you bliss in infinite ways.

You relaxed in his lap, peppering his neck with delicate kisses, slowly, excruciatingly tempting and no less divine than any other touch Bucky received from you that night. Pressing your forehead against his, and with a quick, sweet peck on his nose, you nodded, hugging him tightly.

“Um, baby? I know you're comfortable but I kinda came in my boxers. Wanna change and order food?”

“Sounds perfect”, you stated, not hiding your pride at being the one responsible for his current situation, at which he adorably blushed. “We can also pretend to watch a movie while we make out.”

Winter was slowly rolling in, and the still crimson leaves were now covered in shimmering crystals of morning frost. The heating in the library had finally been fixed, but it didn't matter much to you or Bucky as your hearts felt like little fireplaces of their own. There was nowhere as warm as when his arms were around you. Both of you hid amongst the bookshelves in the history section, sat beneath one of the large windows, each basking in the presence of the other, conversing about nothing and everything. Eventually, you had started playing an impromptu game of questions.

“Why do you still call me James?”

“Because, James, it's your real name. The name people who love you and brought you to this world gave you. And because it's not what your friends call you by, it's what I call you by. I love calling you James.”

You leaned away slightly, eyebrows furrowed, a contemplative look in your eyes. “Do you…. not like it? Because, you know, that's the only name that comes to my mind when you touch me or kiss me.”

You leaned in further to whisper in his ear. “Or when you make love to me.”

Bucky's eyes widened at this, a shiver running down his spine. “I was okay with you calling me anything but after hearing that, you're not allowed to call me anything but James. And that was you using your question.”

“But-!”

“No buts, my turn.”

“Did you fall in love with me at first sight?” Bucky asked, a question he meant to tease you with but a part of him genuinely wished to know.

“I didn't,” you mused, absentmindedly combing your fingers through his dark hair, twirling it around as the pleasant feeling of softness glided over your skin. He raised his eyebrows in question, expecting you to elaborate further.

“I don't believe in love at first sight. I was infatuated with you at first sight, that's for sure,” you said, enjoying the feeling of his hand gliding pleasantly down your thigh. “I fell in love with you over time as I got to know you more and more each day. I felt it every time you were kind and attentive to me. I mean, don't get me wrong baby, you're beautiful, but I realised I was in love with you for real when I no longer craved you only physically with my eyes, but also emotionally and mentally with my heart.”

His hand stilled in its tracks, and he looked at you with an affection only found nestled in Cupid's arrows. “Jesus y/n… remind me to never ask such questions from a librarian or you'll be mopping me off the floor.”

You shot him a flustered grin and playfully jabbed him in his side. "My turn. Why history?”

Bucky didn't answer immediately. He seemed to be pondering, gathering his thoughts in order to express himself truthfully. You watched him patiently as he took his time to find the right words.

"I suppose... I feel this genuine connection to it somehow. I remember reading this diary of a World War II soldier when I was younger, and it eerily resonated with me. Like I was someone just like him in my previous life. I think that was the catalyst that set me on this path. After reading that, all I wanted to do was to learn everything about history."

You hummed, urging Bucky to continue with your unwavering eye contact because you could tell there was more he wanted to say.

"I'm kind of scared of uncertainty. Of the future. Of all the inevitable things completely out of my control that will happen whether I want it or not. History's different, and what happened has happened, there's no way around it. We can learn from it and it's safe, and long gone. "

You let that thought simmer a little before asking a hesitant question. "So... if I were to be a part of your future, would you still be frightened of uncertainty?"

"Baby, you're the only thing in my life I've ever been absolutely certain about."

You placed a chaste kiss on his lips because what can a person even say to something like that? A kiss can take up where words left off. He left you speechless, but your mind was chanting i love you i love you i love you like a prayer over and over again.

“My turn,” he whispered against your lips,”You just had an extra question. What are you thinking about right now?"

"Kissing you again."

"And you never let your thoughts get the best of you?"

"No, not usually. But this time, I might just let them."

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