emily-or-whatever

[emily-or-whatever]

I really need to dye my hair again. My roots are showing. I kinda wanna get funky with it since mom and dad aren't around to be my impulse control. I will peak as a human being the day I get mistaken for a venomous creature.

[emily-or-whatever]

Sometimes I get home from work early. Instead of 6-7am I'll be in the door before 4am. However because my schedule is bipolar and is not at all linear I see some things that I think I have sibling bullying rights too.

Listen Haley. It's awkward enough coming home and seeing Alex leaving your room into a wild gunman stand off with me in the living room. I dont know what's going on. I dont NEED to know what's going on just please for the love of God use the color wheel in my bedroom lavender is NOT his shade in nail polish.

No hard feelings Alex. I just feel the need to pick on Haley.

[emily-or-whatever]

Please tell me about your cork board of the supernatural things in Pelican Town and your theories about the future vampire uprising! I NEED TO KNOW!

Well my dear anon that depends on how far your willing to delve into the world of witchcraft and the unknown. Theres much more than Yoba at work in this world of ours but you didn't hear that from me. ;)

[emily-or-whatever]

People always ask me "Emily Emily! How are you handling putting aside your passions to provide for your younger sister, making time to make sure your best friends goddaughter has nice clothes to wear, making sure said best friend isnt being consumed by alcoholism, and handling a borderline stalker? How are you balancing all that?"

Babe.

Im not.

Im in a constant state of dissociation, electrodoodle runs through my veins.

[emily-or-whatever]

What do you think of the rumors of inhumanly things in pelican town....?

HELLO COOKIES STRAP IN I HAVE THINGS TO SAY MAINLY BECAUSE EVERYTIME I TRY TO TALK TO HALEY ABOUT IT SHE THREATENS TO CALL MOM AND SHANE ONLY LISTENS WHEN HES PLASTERED.

I have a cork board of carefully gathered documents on why I firmly believe Sebastian is a vampire probably. He's a nice guy and all but im TELLING you the vibes are OFF. LOOK AT HIS SKIN. I'm a graveyard shifter and barely see the sun and he's way paler that even me. And he just stands around doing nothing, just staring. Perhaps looking for his next victim.... just some food for thought.

[emily-or-whatever]

Took your garbage can lid again. Haley was not happy last time. You won't be getting it back.

I have been putting food out back because I thought I had hungry racoon friends but alas it was a feral farmer. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. Go take a shower stinky.

[emily-or-whatever]

IM ALIVE. Do I know how to use public transportation systems thats not Pam? No. Did I get lost in Zuzu city for like a month? Depends whose asking. All you guys need to know is that in certain alleyways I am now known as the rat king. Happy valentines day folks im going to take a shower.

[Mod posting] - THE ABSOLUTE CHAOTIC ENERGY OF ME INTERACTING WITH A POOR ASK HALEY BLOG SAYING I MIGHT DISAPPEAR AS A JOKE, AND THEN A BLIZZARD HIT MY AREA SO SEVERELY I HAD TO EVACUATE MY HOME.

[emily-or-whatever]

Okay, Hello lovelies! So I FINALLY convinced Sam to help me sneak into Jojamarts back room so I can decorate Shane's locker for the Winter Star. It's a bit of an inside joke I used to do back in highschool where I would make his locker as festive as possible because he never cared for the Holiday. I haven't done it in years.

Yeah yeah I know its a day late but alas that is the curse of working night shift. I still have a few hours before he clocks in, now dont any of you go squealin on me!!!

[emily-or-whatever]

Why don’t you eat these extra rocks like Abigail does? Mmmmmmm minerals yum

You are so correct. It's my personal theory that Abigail is purple because she eats Amethyst like flamingo rules. Thank you rock eater community for your wisdom. Harvey would have my head for this post.

[emily-or-whatever]

Yknow at first I thought it was a weird coincidence that as time goes on more and more random people keep handing me Amethysts. I mean don't get me wrong it's a very pretty gem! But now it's starting to freak me out a little bit.....theres so many rocks in my closet.

[emily-or-whatever]

If you fought a bear what type of knife would it hold on it left right law?

Bare with me lovely anon I am a tiny bit dyslexic and am struggling to decipher this ask. Do i get the knife? Does the bear get the knife? Am i the knife? What kind of bear are we talking about? Because if its the animal then i think i have a fighting chance. But if its a large gay man then im absolutely down and out because queers are born to slay.

[emily-or-whatever]

*Slides 800g across the counter*

One of Gus's finest pizzas for my favourite sad chicken man, please.

Tell him it's from the one that keeps trying to plant grass in jojamart.

Im so glad Shane has people that care for him. Thats such a kind gesture.. don't worry about it this ones on the house.

You tend to learn alot about your regulars. Intoxicated or not "Bar counter therapy" is quite a common occurance in the valley. I learned alot of things about my friends and neighbors from them venting out there sorrows once I took this job.. im sure Gus has too. And let me tell you, Shane needs friends like you.

Ill be sure to tell Shane its from you! He may be a bit grumpy about it but dont let it fool you he will appreciate your kindness. (But.. maybe not your peculier green thumb.)

[emily-or-whatever]

is sandy your girl-friend?

Sandy? As in a romantic partner? Yknow I havent really thought about her in that way before. Dont get me wrong she is one of my closest pals but I really dont think I could handle something so long distance...

..why did she say anything to you?

[emily-or-whatever]

It's your turn to do the dishes this week!

Just checked with the spirits of the forest. And unfortunatly its just not my destiny. You couldnt even imagine the horrid arcane events that could occur if I were to do the dishes. It must be you Haley. Do you think your up to that kind of task? The balance of nature itself rests in your hands Haley!

[emily-or-whatever]

Hello farmers and friends alike

Hi. Im Emily, if you dont know me Im the blue hair chick that works at the saloon who looks like she hasnt seen sunlight in years. (Accurate considering I work nightshift.)

Feel free to ask me anything or just come by to chat. Or tune in to saloon after hours shenanigans. That is.. until Gus catches me goofing off...