emra-s

[emra-s]

A short story for Pride Month 2021

I may not be part of the community, nevertheless it saddened me to hear that amidst the celebrations of Pride Month the Hungarian goverment launched a legal attack on the LMBTQ+ youth. Due to this saddening occasion hungarian writer and literary translator, György Dragomán shared this monologizing short story on social media, that I leave here in my clumsy, amateur translation. [Every right goes to the author ofc, the story is available in hungarian on the writer's website]

Gyorgy Dragoman: The wall

Do you know where I was this afternoon? No, not in a workplace meeting. I mean, there was one, I just wasn’t there. I was sitting in my car the whole afternoon, with rolled down windows, there, next to the foster home’s fence. I was listening to them, as they were shouting, playing, yelling, screaming, god knows which word fits here, I was listening to them, and I was trying to imagine that out of that mass of voices one is familiar to me, that out of that crowd of children one is our own child, that we can bring them home, that we can raise them together, that they can be ours, that we can love them and watch them grow up.

I was sitting there, holding the steering wheel and my mother and father came to my mind: banal grey moments, how they take me to school and we go buy new shoes, how they scold me because I came home late from the cinema, or because I forgot to put away the salad bowl; my father came to mind, how he was skinning the membrane off of the mutton, the movement, wherewith he cleaned the knife afterwards, that one time when my mother had brought a glass jar of beetroots from the pantry, and I was playing Lucky Luke just then, pointing a toy pistol at her that was filled with match heads, and I pulled the gun and it banged so loud that she dropped the glass that shattered on the floor tile, everything was painted red with beetroot juice, we collected the shards together and all of it went to the trash can.

It’s weird what a person can and can’t recall. I, for example, can not at all remember what was it like when I told my mother I’m gay, I remember the preparation, how I tried to practise and then the relief that it’s over, I said it, as my mother says „ohmygod, my little boy, you can’t have a normal life like that anymore”, that moment as I hugged her and said „of course I can”, the pain when she said „thank god your poor father couldn’t live long enough to hear this”, the moment I decided not to be angry at her for this sentence. But you know all of this already, I’ve told you a thousand times, I don’t even know why I’m tellng you again, maybe just to let you know I’m not a coward, no, I’m just tired of all of this, [it tires me] that from that moment on my whole life is about trying to prove to myself, my mom and you and the whole world that yes I do, I can live like anybody else can, when it’s obvious that I really could, if they let me.

I was holding the steering wheel and listened to how they played there, over the concrete wall, and I was thinking about you, your passionate anger with which you used to say that the walls have to be knocked down and we can’t let ourselves be imprisoned because with that they imprison themselves just as well and about what I will tell you, how I’m going to tell you that I don’t have the strength, I can’t get through this, I’m worn out. Yes, just as yours, it is all my wish too, to be able to raise our children together in piece and love, I long for it just as much as you do, maybe even more, I know that justice and the European law is on our side, it’s just that there are no [legal] paragraphs for a shaking hand, nor for weariness, nor for the feeling that every moment of your existence is a political act, I don’t want to fight, I just want to live normally like everyone else does. I know, we have to fight it out, that’s normal for you, fight is your element, maybe that’s why I fell in love with you, maybe that’s why I wanted to bind my life to yours, because I wanted to believe that I’m just as wild and determined as you are, but as I was sitting there next to the foster home’s fence I had to realise that I am weak, that I don’t have the strength anymore, I can’t get through this, I can’t beat the whole continent just to be able to live like anybody else.

I was sitting there, holding the steering wheel and thought about how I will tell you that that’s it, I give up, and the box came to my mind, there in my mother’s attic, filled with my childhood toys, all of what my mother didn’t let me throw out when I went to university because she said „it will be good later for her grandchild”, obviously the old toy pistol is there too, I remember it’s holding, the coldness of the nacre handle, I was trying to imagine it in our child’s hand, I was trying to get myself to say yes to you after all, to have a go at it despite everything, and then I took my hands off the steering wheel and I was shaking more than I ever did in my life and I knew it’s all in vain, I won’t have the strength for this. That’s it, I told you. I’m not asking you not to be angry.

The new laws – that on the surface are for the curbing of pedophilia and for the protection of children – proposed banning the "promotion" of sexuality of young people. Amongst other things it would mean that:

Sharing any kind of content with people under the age of 18 that portrays/represents homosexuality and/or gender transitioning is banned

„Popularizing” homosexuality and gender transitioning through sex education is banned

Only those organisations could teach sex education in schools that are registered by the state and gained the required permission (a.k.a. liberal minded non-governmental organizations are out of question)

Sharing any kind of advertisement with people under the age of 18 that depicts and with that „promotes” homosexuality and/or gender reassignment are prohibited

A demonstration is held on Monday evening (06/14/2021) in Budapest against the proposed changes.

[emra-s]

I may not be a big fan of The Lord of the Rings, but I really enjoyed making this for my bf a few years ago ^^ hope you like it too~~

[emra-s]

To every person who sees me and my bf and thinks that holding our arms around each other is just cute couple things:

you definitely don’t know us, do you?

we are TICKLISH.

if i put my hands on him in public it’s not romantic, it’s serious strategy for payback when it’s needed. what you think is cute is possible bloodshed, just sayin’.

[emra-s]

Tyrion Goddamn Lannister telling Jon Sad Boy Snow he’s the best at brooding is hands down my favorite male interaction of this show ever amazing perfect

[emra-s]

[emra-s]

Savage Ishida is Savage

Tg :re chapter 122: *hint of Touken happens*

A lot of Touka/Touken haters: *complains/sends threatening messages/etc.

Tg :re chapter 124: *this happens*

Ishida:

[emra-s]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[emra-s]

I recently saw a video of a young woman talking about all of the reasons our generation, the Millennials, sucks and that’s she’s sorry for what we’ve become. Here is my, a fellow Millennial, response:

You say we’re just ‘existing’ and not ‘contributing anything to society.’ The oldest Millennial is 34, the youngest is 12, we haven’t had time to contribute anything yet. We’re trying to survive in a world that no other generation has had to grow up in, with a tanked economy and most of our childhood hearing nothing but war in the Middle East on the news while also being profoundly connected. We didn’t do that.

You say we’re no longer polite, we don’t say ‘no, sir’ or ‘no ma’am’ anymore and we no longer hold the door open for our elders or women. We also don’t expect low-paid workers to break their backs for us, or at yell at them when they make a mistake, like my 60-year-old grandfather does. We say ‘no problem’ when there’s a mistake in order, and politely stand by while the 40-something-year-old soccer mom huffs and rolls her eyes as the new girl struggles to punch in the correct code.

You say our music objectifies women and glorifies drugs and criminals. There has been no significant change from the songs that were once sung or the singers who sang them. Many of the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s performers were drug addicts, womanizers, and criminals in their own right. Elvis Presley was child abuser, John Lennon raped his many girlfriends and most of the music I grew up listening, which was 80’s rock, were performed by habitual drug abusers. Let’s not pretend like human nature took a drastic turn when 1983 rolled around.

You say we cuss to prove a point. We, as a generation, have learned it’s not the words we fucking use, it’s the passion in them that we care about. As a generation, we’ve become more interested in politics and the world around us, cursing is minor problem when we consider the political climate the older generation has plunged us into.

You say we use ‘bae’ to describe the ones we love. Bae, originally, means ‘before anyone else’ which is incredibly romantic in my opinion. Bae is also hardly ever taken seriously, it’s a jokey way to talk about someone you love. Language changes, I doubt people were happy when we changed ‘wherefore’ into ‘why.’ The greatest injustice we can do to our language and culture is not allow it to evolve and grow with us.

You say we idolize people like Kim Kardashian and shame people like Tim Tebow. Kim Kardashian is a business woman who had a private video she made with a lover illegally revealed. Instead of fading into obscurity, she stood tall and did not let the sexual shaming she endured stop her and now runs a multi-million dollar industry, is married to one of the richest men in the world, and had two beautiful children. Tim Tebow is a Christian who was criticized by a few people for praying in an open stadium while most people just wanted to see a game.

You say we’re lazy and entitled, we want to make a lot of money and get a free education but we’re not willing to put in the work. We are not lazy. I cannot tell you how many people I meet who have gone to school full time while working a part or even full-time job just to make ends meet. We’re not entitled, we’re bitter. In the 70’s, you could work a part time job over the summer and pay your way through four years of school because tuition was $400, now just to walk in the door of your local community college you need to drop $14,000. We have kids who aren’t even old enough to drink, yet are already $20,000 deep in debt. Debt that won’t go away because even filing for bankruptcy won’t erase it. And even with that education, there’s no guarantee you’ll find something in your field. I have a friend who has a degree in microbiology and she’s making $9 an hour selling $15 candles. I have another friend who has a masters in Sport Psychology and Counseling. She’s a bartender. My parents bought a three bedroom house in the suburbs in the late 90’s while my generation is imagining apartments with breezy windows and trying to get enough money to get food while we scrounge up less than $8 a week.

You say we spend more time online making friends and less time building relationships and our relationship’s appearance on Facebook is more important than building the foundation that relationship is based on. We are a generation that is profoundly connected and no other generation has seen this before. We have more opportunities to meet people from all over the world and better chances to understand other worldviews and lifestyles. Being able to stay home and talk to people over the internet is cheaper and more relaxing than having to force yourself to interact with people in public settings after a long day of minimum wage labor. The people I talk to more over the internet are people I have been friends with for years. It’s easier to talk about the day’s events over Skype or Facebook Messenger than arrange a day to meet in person when you have conflicting schedules. I truly don’t believe most people care what others think of their friendship or how their relationships ‘look’ on social media. Most often what you are calling ‘our relationship’s appearance on Facebook’ are documented and searchable memories.

You say our idea of what we believe in is going on Facebook and posting a status on Facebook. Not everyone can join in with the crowds of protesters. It’s easy to see what others have to say through the comments and argue back without the threat of violence. And when this generation does organize events to stand up for ourselves, it’s met with childish name-calling or being reduced to a ‘riot.’

You say we believe the number of follows we have reflects who we are as a person. It’s nice knowing there’s 20 or 50 or maybe even 100 people who care what you have to say or think. We live in an age where we can and will be heard.

You say we don’t respect our elders, that we don’t respect our country. Our elders grew up in one of the greatest economic booms in history and in turn made it the worst economic situation since the 1930’s all while blaming kids who were only five at the time for it. We stand on our flag because it means nothing, it’s a pretty banner for an ugly lie. We’re a country that says you can make it if you just work hard enough while, in the end, that will almost never happen. We’re a country that becomes irate at the idea of 20-something college kids standing on some canvas dyed red, white, and blue but seem to shrug off the millions of homeless, disabled veterans.

You say we’re more divided than ever before. Ever before what? When black folk couldn’t drink from the same fountain as white folk? When women couldn’t vote? When white southerners fought for the idea that they could keep black people as slaves? We’re a generation that is done with injustice and when you fight for social change, you will divide people.

You say everything that was frowned up is celebrated. What does that mean? We frowned up gay marriage. We frowned upon wives being able to say no to sex with their husbands. We frowned up interracial marriage. We frowned up black folk being allowed to go to school with white folk. We frowned upon women being allowed to vote. Are those things not worth celebrating?

You say nothing has value in our generation, that we take advantage of everything. We value friendship more, we value the fists of change, we value social justice and family and the right to marry those we love. We value the right to be yourself, wholly and fully. We value the right to choose and we value the idea of fighting what you believe in, even when everyone older than you is telling you you’re what’s wrong with the country.

You say we have more opportunities to succeed than those before but we don’t ‘appreciate’ them. We are a bitter generation. You can finance a boat for 3.9% but you have to pay back college tuition plus 8.9%. We may have more opportunities but those opportunities cost money we don’t have.

You say you can see why we’re called ‘Generation,’ but we’re not Generation Y, we’re Millennials and we do feel entitled. We were promised a strong economy and inexpensive education. We had the world in our hands and we were going to make it better. And it was ripped away from us because of incompetent rulers, illegal wars, and greedy corporations and we get blamed for it. Crime has gone down, abortion and unintended pregnancy has lowered, people are living longer, people are more educated, people are less likely to die from violent crime or diseases, yet my generation is touted as the worst generation and for what? Crimes that we’re accused of that happened before we could even wipe our own ass? We were raised better, and we were raised in a society that treated, and continues to treat, us like garbage. And we are done. We are not sorry, we did nothing wrong.

[emra-s]

every time ishida-sensei blesses us with a new chapter:

[emra-s]

Tsukiyama Shuu:

Touka:

[emra-s]

Ok so the second link for chapter 20 spoilers from my previous post doesn’t seem to work coz there’s Japanese kanji in the link, but it has very important Kanae panels so

copy paste 東京喰種 re 20 into google

click the SECOND LINK

enjoyyyy

and join my Kanae Defense Squad I’m recruiting

[emra-s]

first impressions of the signs

Aries: generally loud. opinionated. affectionately calls their friends assholes and probably has drugs. hilarious, but not someone you want to cross.

Taurus: sweet. kind of gossipy but loyal to their friends. tries very hard, somewhat easy to walk over. is crafty and probably likes cooking.

Gemini: fuckin chatterbox. absolute genius, seems to hate everyone. sort of mentally distant. is probably smarter than you.

Cancer: very nice, but changes moods very quickly. hates getting called out or picked on. usually has a well established friend group and eats a lot.

Leo: popular, charismatic. more perceptive than they let on. kind to their friends, but can raise hell if you piss them off. loyal.

Virgo: hardworking, stickler for detail. is in multiple fandoms. can't let topics go in conversation and likes colored skinny jeans. most likely has dimples.

Libra: queen bee. social, flighty, and talkative. great at making people feel special. started saying "swag" and "yolo" ironically and can't stop.

Scorpio: closed book. expressive eyes. is outgoing but somehow not quite part of things. best resting bitch face, eye rolls 5ever.

Sagittarius: energetic, friendly. the nicest asshole ever. walks with confidence. brutally honest but only if you ask for it. protective of their friends.

Capricorn: quiet and reserved but can be silly with friends. lame puns all the way. likes money and power. sometimes plays the victim too much.

Aquarius: really fuckin weird, like they don't even act weird it just radiates off of them. detached and bored-looking. talks fast or mumbles. are usually hardcore weebs. definitely smarter than you. 10/10 could kick your ass.

Pisces: quiet, dreamy. stares at people a lot, seems to look through people. tries a little too hard to be funny sometimes. acts like an asshole even though deep inside they are fluffy bunnies. makes people feel special, like Libra.

[emra-s]

The author and illustrator of Clifford the big red dog died today. Thanks for the memories Norman Bridwell.

[emra-s]

GUYS, IT’S A TUESDAY.

WHERE IS TOKYO GHOUL: RE CHAPTER 10????

[emra-s]

and then romeo-kun and juliet-chan inevitably committed the seppuku

[emra-s]

Would you like to hear Nitori singing a Phineas & Ferb song?

[emra-s]

"millions of flower petals erupt from a volcano, covering an entire village"