enchantedpalia

[enchantedpalia]

Happy Winterlights!

A couple of weeks ago Tish visited me to tell me about Winterlights. It's the first time she's visiting me since she became my shepp, so I figured it was important. She told me about the winter festival of Winterlights, when Majiri light candles with those they care about and it's to hope for a fresh, green spring because this is the darkest time of the year, when the sun rises so late and sets really early. She said it's symbolic of new beginnings, and warmth, and that it evolved into celebrating with food and drink. Jina also told me about the ancient human tradition of decorating evergreen trees and hanging up decorations and stockings. Tish gave me a candle to light with all the people around the village, and I ran around doing that, and it was grand fun to share that with everyone and listen to all their hopes and wishes for the coming year. I lit a candle with Jon as well, and he said his hope was to find an enormous palium node and mine it all by himself. I think I gave him my best glare. My hope is - just to get some more answers, I guess. Answers about everything, but mostly who I am and whose I am. There must be someone out there who loves me. There must be. I must be someone's baby. I can't just appear in the world and have nowhere to come from. All things are born. We don't just materialise from some void. My parents are out there somewhere.

Here's a picture of my tree. I put presents at the bottom for my friends. Jon's present is there too. Funnily enough it's NOT palium. I'm not getting Hassian anything for Winterlights because he is incredibly mean and if he wants presents he needs to learn to be nicer to people. A few weeks ago, in a rare moment of niceness, he told me he had been watching me hunt and that I was almost as good as he was. It made me feel good, and like he really meant it, because he never just tells you things willy nilly. Then yesterday, when I was in the woods near the gate to Bahari, he thought it was really important to tell me that I needed to get a handle on my bow. WHAT? I glared at him and he smirked at me until I lost my temper and shot an arrow right over his head. He was definitely startled and he walked away but I was fuming so badly. So no. He doesn't get a present. Sorry not sorry. This behaviour is not okay. The only good thing about Hassian is Tau, as I've noted before. Here's a picture of me with him. He's the best.

It's snowing. A LOT. I have no memories of snow - well, of anything much, really, beyond vague feelings of recollection or a sensation that there's something missing - so this is sort of like my first time seeing snow, I guess? After the first night I went out and jumped around in the snow for a while. It's soft but it's crunchy. And it's wet but it's powdery. Snow is a contradiction. Maybe it's Hassian's spirit weather.

Jon thinks the best thing about snow is making snowballs to pelt me with. I was startled at first! Snow hurts when it's packed together like that and thrown at the back of your head. But! I made a stack of snowballs and got him right back. Several times.

Here's a picture of me on my front porch. You can see a bit of snow in the background. When I took this picture most of it had melted! But then it snowed again that night. I've decided I like snow best when it's fresh. It becomes a slushy sludgy mess eventually, and that's awful.

I'm about to put this journal down and head into town. I'm having lunch with Ashura in the inn and a bunch of us have been invited, including Jon. Since it's our first Winterlights, he's hosting us all, and I'm looking forward to it. Reth has promised 'a big feast', and he told me there are going to be a lot of vegetarian and fish dishes that aren't soup. I'm not sure if we're supposed to take anything but I'm taking a blueberry pie.

Happy Winterlights!

[enchantedpalia]

Home disaster, but yay for community!

I'm not even sure where to begin, but it's best to begin at the beginning.

When I last wrote here I wrote about how autumn was setting in and there was decidedly a nip in the air. I also wrote a bit about the autumn storms. Well, a few days after my last entry, I ended up going to bed early one night because I was feeling a bit under the weather. I'd already been taking the draft Chayne had given me, and dosing myself on hot lemon and honey like Kenyatta had told me to do, but doing a bit less and resting, and sleeping early, was helping too. Anyway, that night, I was restless, because the winds were so loud, and I was huddled under my blankets just listening to the howling outside, when suddenly, I heard a creaking, in the distance. I imagined that's how a ship would sound in a storm out on the ocean, with the wood creaking and the hull groaning. As I listened, the creaking sound got louder and louder until something seemed to be coming towards me, towards the house. I got out of bed and just as I was reaching for the candle beside my bed, there was a tremendous crashing sound. I screamed in fright, and I couldn't see what was going on, but suddenly I felt the wind and rain on my face, and I looked up to see a great shadow yawing and coming towards me. I fled away from the bedroom, towards the living room, and huddled there on the sofa, shaking and crying. I feel a little silly now when I think of how shaken I was, but it was terrifying!

The next morning I could fully inspect the damage by the light of day, and neighbours and other villagers came up to bring me food, blankets, supplies, and anything they could think of. It was utterly shocking and terrifying to see a big hole in my roof right above my bed. The tree came to a stop very close to my bed, and I don't think I was in too much danger, since I heard it falling, but I was still in bed when it first crashed through. Everyone was talking about what a lucky escape I had. Ashura forced me to go to the inn right then and there, whilst everyone else assessed the damage. In the inn I went to bed right away, as I was apparently burning up with fever. I kept trying to get out of bed and tell people I wanted to go help my house set to rights again, but Ashura, Badruu, Chayne, Jon, Eshe, Hodari, and everyone else wouldn't hear of it.

It took weeks, and effort from everyone in the village, and beyond, from my neighbours and friends, and even from Hassian, who insisted on helping. I recovered, and went right back in to work, and help. Getting that roof fixed was a community effort, and if not for the amazing community in Kilima, I could have been in for a rough winter. But the roof was fixed, as good as new, and my room was restored to the way it was. The first evening at home with my brand new roof, there was another storm, and I felt a slight panic in my heart, but I just went to my study, lit the fire, curled up on the couch under my blanket, and read a book as the storm raged outside. That night I went to bed as I always did, and after some tossing and turning, I slept.

When you don't know where you're from, who you are, whose you are, or what you are even doing in the world, having the only thing that is wholly yours taken away from you is a terrifying thing. My house is my place of safety, and when that tree came crashing down and destroying my home, it took that away. It was a forcible reminder that life can happen at any time, and that even my safest refuge could feel less safe. But thanks to the love, friendship, and support of this community that has become as much home to me as my house is, my feelings of safety and security are as restored as the roof of my house. My hair may be scruffier and longer, but as you can see from my house behind me, it is in great shape.

I'll be writing more, now that my life is back in order. I have so much to catch up with, but all in good time.

[enchantedpalia]

Libraries, librarians, and some pondering

This morning I woke up to a storm raging outside and the sun refusing to rise. I peeked out of my window at my garden and saw my apple trees swaying, so I'm worried, as well as about my other plants, mostly my blueberry and pepper bushes. I'm sure I can fix any damage they incur but I hope I won't lose them. At least I won't have to water them today.

I fixed a simple breakfast of eggs and rye toast and ate it along with fresh tomato salsa made from my own tomatoes. I had a checklist of things to do today but it will have to wait until after the storm. I am not venturing out in this.

(Later)

The storm blew itself out and my plants seem intact except for some broken branches and scattered leaves from my trees. I cleared up the yard and made sure everything was okay, and refilled the picklers with fruit, fed my worm farms, and put some of my gold ore into the smelter to smelt before I set out. I went into town and stopped in the library where Delaila was talking to Ashura in one of the aisles. Caleri kept hovering around them and glaring at them but I don't think they were looking at her. They were discussing some book they both read. Caleri shifted her attention to me as I searched in the herbology and botany section and came over to hover over me, even though I pointedly told her I didn't need help.

Ever since I found out about herbalism a month ago from a book Chayne let me borrow, I've been fascinated with it and eager to learn more and more. Jina and I have talked a good deal about the occupations and the careers of ancient humans, my ancestors. When I first arrived in Kilima, my mind was a complete blank, and it was confusing and terrifying because I was desperate to know who I was, where I came from, whom I came from... At the registration desk I stood with other humans to register myself as a new resident and when I was asked my name I automatically said this one, as though it's mine, and I pulled it from something deep inside me. Someone named me this. And I remember a vague conversation of someone - maybe it was my dad - explaining that Te'agran means healer. Maybe my family have always been healers.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. Everything about my past is shrouded in mystery. Who, why, where, what, how. So many questions, and no answers. Jina seems to understand it more than anyone else. She told me once that she's working so hard to unearth the truth because we humans deserve answers. Everywhere I look I see ruins of ancient human civilisation. A world has grown up around our past, and we don't really belong. Or do we? I don't know.

I managed to convince Caleri to let me borrow two books. She told me I could only borrow one, but I begged. I told her I needed the other to look up what I learned on this one. She's given me a very strict deadline. I saw Kenyatta in the background rolling her eyes when Caleri was lecturing me and I had to keep a straight face.

Out of the library, and the sky was darkening again, but Jon and I ran to Bahari Bay to mine iron. We're both very low. We found a secret spot we'd never been to before, with radiant gems sticking out of the walls, but we couldn't mine them. For one, it'd be too dangerous to mine supporting walls, and secondly, we don't know how to do it safely. But we did find an abandoned mine cart there. So it must have been mined at some point! Anyway, we took some pictures! I've pasted one here of Jon and me, and you can see the rest here if you want. That's my photo album.

Two hours in Bahari Bay and we returned home with a lot of iron ore and a few other things we foraged, like sweet leaves, and dari cloves. No heat root. I'm almost out of that too, but we didn't find any. I picked loads of briar daisies though.

Hassian had sent me a letter ordering me to go see him. What a weirdo.

We got home just in time because it started raining again the moment I set foot on my property. It got very dark very soon, despite the time being only late in the afternoon, so I turned up the lamps, heated some leftover stew, and ate at the kitchen table whilst reading my book. I'm going to soak in a hot bath soon, and then early to bed. I hope the sound of the rain won't keep me awake.

[enchantedpalia]

Autumn is here

It's autumn, and this marks my first seasonal change since I first arrived in Palia in the middle of summer. The leaves are changing colour and there's a crisp chillness in the air. My breath fogs when I'm out early in the morning or staying out late at night, and I'm definitely going to need warmer clothes, which I'm going to talk to Jel about later. Delaila said she'd teach me to knit, but when she showed me how it's done it looks wonderfully complicated, and I'm highly doubtful I will master that before the winter.

Last night I went to the closing ceremony of the Maji Market. I just about made it in time for Kenli's speech, because earlier I'd been gathering moss and lotuses at the lake, after which I dawdled whilst talking to Einar at the lagoon. He was in a very philosophous mood, and got me into one as well and then I looked at the moon and realised I had to be at the Maji Market. I do believe I ran all the way there.

The fireworks were really beautiful. I'm pasting my favourite picture here, but I'll put the rest in my photo album. This is my favourite picture because I think I caught it at the right time, and it shows me all the lovely shapes the fireworks were making.

This morning I went to the farm, because I've been hunting some, and as I don't eat meat I went to sell it to Delaila instead, for she does use a fair amount for her meat pies that she sells in the village. She seemed very tired, and told me the gold from the market was very welcome, but she will not miss all the extra baking and cooking all day, as well as staying up to unearthly hours. She did say she only managed two hours per night, and I marvel at it, for I do think the Daiyas work harder than any other family in the town. Delaila was happy for the meat and told me she dreams of breakfast in bed, and staying asleep until mid-morn, but she always wakes with the peki's crow. If anyone deserves breakfast in bed, it is surely Delaila, and I told her so. She seemed pleased and just plopped another bun on my plate.

I ran into Hassian on my way back home, and he told me he'd seen me bring down a sernuk the previous day. I swear, he is so condescending that I don't know why he bothers to talk to me. Tau seemed pleased to see me as he always does. He is the best and goodest boy ever. I told Hassian that the only good thing about him was Tau, and he seemed miffed, which pleased me, for it is nice to get under HIS skin sometimes.

I went home early, for I was tired too, and my neighbour and friend Jon came over to help me move my outhouse closer to my house. I think that's why I'm tired, because I had to dig out a new hole for it earlier. I gave Jon some of the buns Delaila had made me take with me. Jon is funny, and he makes me laugh, although he does not seem as tortured with the thoughts of where we're from as I am.

I need to talk to Jina tomorrow, mine some iron, and see if there are any more honeycombs I can loot for honey in Bahari. Early night tonight after a dinner of fish stew and fresh baked bread.