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PENALTY GAME

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Gang who would ever make a poem about their disabilities for a project for their english class, that's absolutely cra—

I Can’t

They’re words I’ll have to say every day

for my entire life.

I can’t

do my assignments in school.

My brain equates doing those tasks

to slamming my hand on a fiery stovetop.

I can’t

run around like other kids my age.

My ribs start to curl in on my lungs

like a claw with it's prize at an arcade.

I can’t

talk to people.

My heart starts beating so fast

that I feel like I’m going to die at any moment.

I can’t

move my body.

The energy I should have is long gone

leaving me paralyzed in my bedroom, writhing in pain.

I can’t

figure out what’s wrong with me.

I shouldn’t be feeling like this,

I’m only 16 with a life I just started living.

I can’t

get anyone to understand it.

They always say that I’m too young to be in pain,

that it's all in my head.

But it’s everywhere.

In my legs,

my hands,

my arms,

my chest,

my back.

My pain stretches out across my body

so that when someone asks me to do something,

all I can say is

“I can’t.”

-💌 (Callum he/they/it)

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Hi pookie how we doin that ask made me question my religion afterwards and actually helped me figure out what I actually believe in sooo ty pookie

-💌 (Callum he/they/it)

Hi this is your invitation to go on a rant about religion because I also like religion and like hearing what people have to say about it

-🧃

OH MY GOD. /Pos

Since there wasn't any specification as to what religious topics, I'm just gonna talk about things I've researched and my own beliefs.

So I was raised by a Christian (Pentecostal specific) mother and a Jewish (bloodline and religion) father, mainly being brought up within the Pentecostal church and a few of those beliefs, while celebrating Jewish holidays. In all honesty, I have no idea what religion I really am, I just have a string of beliefs that don't tie to anything specific I know of, and if anyone IRL asks me about it I just say I'm Jewish because of my dad + it causes less confusion and doesn't require me explaining things.

Now, if you don't know what Pentecostal is, it is a branch of Christianity that has a firm belief that "if you don't speak in tongues, or have not received any holy gift, you are not saved by Christ."

"tongues" as they call it, is a holy language that only divine beings, and those with the gift of "translation" understand. Translation is self explanatory, in the sense that it can translate tongues into a human language.

As someone who also grew up with a mother who claimed to be "Messianic Jewish" as a Pentecostal woman, I can tell you,

MESSIANIC JUDAISM ISN'T JUDAISM.

Messianic Judaism is a christianized form of Judaism that stems from antisemitism. It's basically "Jews for Jesus" in the sense that they believe Jesus was God incarnate/Gods son, when the main belief in Judaism is that Jesus was kinda just a cool ass dude. It stems from the conversion of Jewish people into Christian Evangelicalism. This is because Jewish converts were forced by the church to basically abandon their Jewish-ness and assume the ways and beliefs of gentiles (non-jewish people) in order to receive baptism. The reason it isn't Judaism is because, again, Messianic Judaism contradicts a core Jewish belief that majorly separates it from Christianity. It started because these people wanted to "stay Jewish while believing in Jesus." And nowadays is basically just claimed by Christians who want to claim a Jewish heritage.

(btw I am open to correction and the opinions of others if I am wrong on this, this is based on my own research and hands on experience.)

Now onto my beliefs/things that interest me:

I am in no way Christian, as I do not believe in a singular God, however I do find the rosary (a Catholic practice) to be interesting, as well as prayer beads generally. I also find folk religion interesting, specifically folk Catholicism.

I believe in reincarnation, egregores, the existence of most if not all Gods, witchcraft, spirits, and multiple afterlives (and yes, I do also believe in the mundane/science) (just to name a few that I can think of at the moment. I'll edit later if I think of more)

"but how do you believe in reincarnation AND multiple afterlives?"

That's because I believe a soul has its limits. A soul can be reincarnated as many times as it needs to/wants to, before it can settle into an afterlife best suited for its pattern of living throughout its various lives. I believe one life is not enough for an eternal punishment or eternal paradise. It's like an experiment, there needs to be several tests done before a conclusion can be made about it, and where to move forward from it.

Thank you Anon/🧃 for requesting a special interest rant :3 <3 the autism goes CRAZY

-💌 (Callum/Cecil he/they/it)

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I don't really post about this kinda stuff anymore but

coming from a system who was harassed off their old account by endos due to us using plural tags.

YOU HAVE FULL RIGHT TO USE ANY TAGS TO DESCRIBE YOUR DISORDER.

yes plural, yes plurality, yes collective, yes multiple. Anything at all

If you get hate from endos who are breaking your boundaries and dni, block them

I tried to educate and inform, even simply telling them to not contact me, but they are harmful.

please just block them.

We can take the term plurality back from ableists

WE ARE SYSPUNK AND WE WILL RECLAIM OUR TERMS

I will very likely get harassed by their "safe" and "welcoming" community again. This time I will simply block them and ignore their hateful behavior. I advise you to do the same.

reassurance and advice under the cut:

Somthing a lot of endos claimed I was doing was being "hateful" for venting on my account about the ableism and misinformation from endos

You are not hateful for being upset about people faking, watering down, and spreading harmful misinformation about your DISORDER.

You didn't ask for this, none of us did

If an ableist (endo) calls you ableist, remember:

they "identify" as a non disordered system

you proving facts proved by psychology and the science of the development of a child's brain is NOT ableism, in fact, it can't be. They don't "identity" as having OSDDDID, they just identify with being a system. You proving them wrong is not and will never be ableist.

You are not in the wrong here. Your disorder is being appropriated and being treated horribly.

Endos support the idea of telling singlets to "become systems", even creating posts like "build an alter". Theres "syshopping" and "selling alters" which they've created. Making people take our disorder so much less seriously. Its horrible and extremely dangerous towards the young and impressionable minds on the internet.

FOR THE RECORD:

I do not support the idea of misusing tags that are genuinely for endos to stir up an argument (such as #endogenic #endos #pro endo)

It can be incredibly dangerous for your mental health and is being hateful, I know they're ableist, and it isn't fair, but we have to be the bigger person. We cannot stoop down to their level.

Yes, they will break your and my DNI's, they are harmful, this is a fact. But we must not break theirs,

we will be better than them.

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Hey pookies guess what I'm makin',

I'm making an online monster of the week campaign!!

I'm looking for 3 players. The campaign is set in 1833 in a world inspired by the spirit bares its teeth by andrew joseph white!

This campaign is fully online with me as the wonderful dm. This campaign is heavy on roleplay and not combat, as I personally dont like doing combat in campaigns, however there will be some combat periodically depending on the storyline!

Also I will ABSOLUTELY post things about this campaign on here so don't u guys worry I am an avid shitposter to my absolute core

If you're interested, please message me and we can talk about campaign stuff!!

(0/3 players)

-💌 (Callum he/they/it)

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HI I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE OPEN TO PEOPLE ASKING TO BE FRIENDS? ITS TOTALLY OK IF NOT !!!! WE'RE ALSO A SYSTEM IF THAT . HELPS IG?

WOAG......

YEAG..... :D !!!!

Bro needs to add me NEOW

I need more sys friends bro puhLEASE !!!!!

My discord is ender1an :3 please add me..... <33

-💌 (Callum he/they/it)

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This is a threat

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My Pokémon ❤️💙

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”I want to know your headcount” “I want to know who’s fronting” so do I, get in line

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The guys! Old doodle colored today.

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hey guys. hey hi. hey you’ll never guess what ive been into recently. heyyy

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somebody: so what do u like to do for fun? :)

me, very used to being mocked for my interests: ha ha, i dunno, i don’t do anything. Ever

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we were talking to our clinician about our system, and he said “DID is usually self diagnosable” and i joked like you’re gonna get cancelled. the system community crumbles as a licensed therapist supports system self diagnosis.

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So....MIGHT'VE rebranded because of an identity crisis + we can

Anyways enjoy dancing nepeta

-💌 (Callum/Cecil he/they/it)

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Plural with touretts culture is different alters having different tics. Like we got one who has a vocal tic about cowboys and another who has a motor tic that knocks on our skull hard enough to give us a headache, and one who has a vocal tic that's just her name.

.

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its nothing some ibuprofen and a blunt and 5 beers and a head injury and jacking off and killing myself cant fix