enthrallinglyeden

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How do you feel about nudity? Nudists?

They can do what they want, but the thought of my bare ass on a chair does not appeal to me, personally.

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[Link to several articles with titles such as "8 Sweet Things You Can Say To Steal Your Man's Heart," "Birds Are Controlling The Television," and "Libraries? Who Needs 'Em!" All are by a Diogo Milano. They are clearly AI-generated.]

[user stares at his screen, considers just deleting the message but decides to play dumb instead. he refuses to panic, at least for now]

I'm assuming you are Diogo Milano? If you would like to submit articles to the library's server, please contact my boss at [insert email address here]. Although, I'm not sure we can accept your anti-library propaganda in good faith.

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[pm] Oh my goddddd. Tell me not to pick a fight with Helen about these computers. I just, I get it, okay? There's all this stuff we're definitely extremely not talking about because it totally isn't real, but also, she needs to take a chill pill. She's driving me up the fucking wall! Which is impressive because training patience was like a massive part of my childhood! Patience and being convincingly fake-nice are some of my biggest skills! [User tries to delete this, but cannot]

[pm] Look, don't let her get to you. You know how it is with...her generation. Extremely stuck in their ways. [...] Stuff you aren't talking about with Helen? Or...I'm not sure what you mean by that. [user has an idea what she means by that] Hey, being fake-nice is a very helpful skill to have. I can't tell when you're being nice or fake-nice, so that's a testament to your capabilities. [user tries not to think too hard about Eve being fake-nice to him because it makes him feel some weird sort of feeling]

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Eden & Wren's House

NEIGHBORHOOD: Harborside

This Cape Cod style house was bought by Eden Lu when he first arrived in town. Though he could easily afford any property in World's End Isle, he liked the rustic charm of this older building. He was never one for roommates, but they seem to have a habit of showing up out of the blue on his doorstep. His squonk, Moo Deng, and Wren Zhao now live here too, and though Eden will never admit it, the company makes the house feel like home.  

MORE INFO:

If you ever manage to get an actual invite inside, you may notice the complete absence of any mirrors. When asked, Eden will say that it's an "intentional design choice."

Watch your step as the floors are extremely slippery due to Moo Deng. Hope you like wet socks.

Birds of all types seem drawn to this home for some reason. There seems to always be at least one or two perched on the front porch, and some neighbours claim to see flocks gather in the backyard every now and then.

You may see fallen tree branches and half-started attempts at nest sitting around the property. Don’t worry about it.

There’s different rocks on the front lawn, porch, and in the backyard that are all painted various designs. Wren prefers it over paper.

EXPLORE HARBORSIDE

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I will say, it is a very good skill to have. Riding horses, that is. Not having nice arms. Though I won't turn that down either.

Objectify away. It appears that was my teammates' original intent with this post anyways. At least it seems to be working.

You know, I just might. I can appreciate skill and having nice arms on top of that is very nice indeed.

Not to objectify you. Just commenting on the video.

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[pm] No apologies necessary. Trust me, there are far worse unprompted messages to get.

[pm] you are so welcome, always happy to share kitchen tips as a form of apology for dropping into your dm's unannounced.

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[pm] That is very dramatic. I hope you treat other aspiring artists/potential muses with more respect. Goodbye.

[pm] I do not know. Do not care.

[...]

Apologize? No. Not worth it. I rather stab myself. Goodbye.

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[pm] How did she react? Did she cry? This will be a learning moment for her. I will only begin to considering sending you a picture if you apologize to her.

[pm] It is too late. I already called her annoying.

She did not try hard enough.

Send me a picture of yourself.

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[pm] I know which girl you are talking about and will not let you get away with calling her annoying. She just learned how to use a computer tried very hard with that drawing even if it really doesn't look like it. Did you have some sort of confrontation with her? I am Eden and I will have to step in.

[pm] Yes. It was horrible and I want to fix it. The girl is very annoying and thinks I cannot do better.

Are you Eden? I am starting to think you lie.

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[in Mandarin] There is nothing wrong with what I have posted. I'm encouraging people to donate. Is this why you're screaming in the living room? If I'm dramatic, then what does that make you?

[User promptly screams in horror at seeing this.]

[in Mandarin] Delete this. I've seen enough. Too much, even. This is horrifying.

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Well, it is. It was. We are trying to make it more accessible. Not everyone on the team is in my tax bracket. Though we figured that getting people interested in horses in general would be a good first step to learning the sport. Are you interested in riding?

Seriously? I thought polo was just a thing for high class Brits? Also didn't know it was a thing people worked out for The classes are a very fun way to crowd fun though, I hope plenty of people sign up. [user has been the face of more than a few thirst trap ad campaigns and salutes the polo team for using what they have]

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@muertarte replied to your post “[pm] Are you Eden?”:

[pm] I am looking for Eden so I can draw him and show someone their skills are the worst.

​[wren's drawing flashes before eden's eyes]

[pm] Eden does not want to be drawn. But if someone has already done so, they wouldn't have happened to draw him as a round, orange man, did they?

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[pm] Are you Eden?

[pm] No. Who is that and what do you want from him?

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[pm] That is the reality of the Internet, unfortunately. Whatever you post will be open to both compliments and criticisms. Who the fuck called it ugly tho I’m not sure what you are implying by telling me to “deal” with them, can you please elaborate?

I am drama filled and proud. And I knew you were lying because Moo Deng cannot speak nor would she ever turn on me. But I enjoyed your attempt at humour.

[PM] Thank you, but some people called it ugly. I need you to deal with that, swiftly and justly.

Oh! I suppose. I think Moo Deng would think you're being a bit drama filled right now, but... that's just me. He told me, actually. I just lied. In case you were wondering.

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[pm] Let's just say it has become a sort of....temporarily permanent roommate situation. I have never had a roommate before, so we shall see how it goes.

[pm] No worries! Oh, wow, I guess that must be a huge culture shock to come here! Is she visiting you for long?

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[pm] Oh, that sounds nice. I'm not sure if my culinary skills are at that level yet but that can be something I work towards. Thank you, random fish stranger.

[pm] Depends on the mood I'm in, but a go to is pan seared so that the skin gets nice and crispy. about four minutes a side and it comes out perfect. plus you can serve it with pretty much anything.

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Yes you may, though we should at least give you something for your generosity. Perhaps grooming of your horse? If you have one here in town.

I've been riding horses all my life, am I able to just donate rather than going through the trouble of a lesson? Also, was the video necessary?