eonian-nightmare

[eonian-nightmare]

My boyfriend @aborigonalguppyrabits and I were discussing cosmere reading order and decided that it was best expressed as a flow chart. The project got a little out of hand. Obviously there’s no right way to read the books, but we thought we’d offer our solution.

[eonian-nightmare]

Have you considered he’s just a little guy. Expect this design to change slightly as all of them do as I figure out what I can draw quickly. Anyway! Some episode thoughts below the cut!

- Parker! He’s here! My guy! With a silly Boston accent! Mwah!

- explanation for why kayne can’t see the lighter my beloved i love that we got that mystery wrapped up.

- I did guess a while back that the waylay was a kayne created middle ground for safekeeping Arthur post death, and while I wasn’t right, that guess feels. Shockingly close considering.

- I think the reason the manager was so quick to be like “THE MANAGER PLEASE” when Arthur started saying Nyarlthotep is that we’re working with names have power scenario— the name might ping on Kaynes radar, and considering kayne is trying to erase that identity, he might investigate any mentions, even if the waylay is hidden.

-missed opportunity to call him Abel (kidding)

- also, what did I say. Lilith my beloved. You got this girl.

every patron who messaged me being like Sam you’re gonna love this one. Yeah. Anyway has season six already started? I might join since I was graciously given a tip in order to do so, but if there’s a hiatus I’ll wait until next month.

[eonian-nightmare]

what if the fear of darkness gave way to the fear of color?

would you live in black and white or rest your eyes through the day?

[eonian-nightmare]

kayne somehow having the most crushing daddy issues of them all in the Daddy Issues Podcast wasn’t on my season finale betting sheet but really it should’ve been. azathoth slept through all of his recitals growing up and now he has an orchestra of boyfailure humans (one guy copypasted) and weeps at the concept of joy

[eonian-nightmare]

"You are a shell of a man, Arthur! Always were."

Jarthur and Arkayne nation, how we feeling after 52?

[eonian-nightmare]

***Spoilers for E52 and S6***

Have you ever had a recurring dream? One that picks up right where it left off, no matter how many times you wake up? A dream so vivid, so strange, it lingers long after you open your eyes—like something followed you out of it. Have you ever begged to wake up?

As with most of my Malevolent rants, we’re diving into some old literature again—pulling from the ancient and the arcane to explore what it might mean for the future of the podcast. This time, our focus is on a singular, slippery figure: Nyarlathotep. Or, as we’ve come to know him, Kayne.

In the Cthulhu Mythos, Nyarlathotep is unlike any of the other eldritch beings. While most of the Great Old Ones are distant, silent, and monstrously uncaring, Nyarlathotep is something else entirely—calculating, charismatic, cruel, and disturbingly human. He walks, he speaks, he plays. And yet, for all his autonomy, he remains a servant to something far more terrible: Azathoth, the blind idiot god who dreams the universe into being from the center of all creation.

Now, “chaos” today usually means disorder, unpredictability. But in Lovecraft’s world, chaos is something older. It’s primordial—a vast, formless void that existed before reality, before time, before thought. And at its heart lies Azathoth, asleep and mindless, his dream spilling outward in the shape of galaxies, dimensions, and lives. If he were ever to wake, the dream—and everything in it—would end.

Nyarlathotep, called the Crawling Chaos, is the only one who can traverse that abyss. He alone can reach Azathoth’s throne and speak to him—though not willingly. The Mythos suggests he does so not out of reverence, but necessity. Perhaps even compulsion. The implication is chilling: Nyarlathotep doesn’t choose to serve. He has to.

Which brings us to a theory we explored back in episode 52: that this world—our world—is nothing more than Azathoth’s dream. If that’s true, then none of us are truly awake. We’re fragments of someone else’s unconscious mind, puppets dancing in a half-formed thought. All of us… except Nyarlathotep.

He is aware of the dream. He can step outside of it and return, knowing it’s not real. That kind of awareness doesn’t make him powerful. It makes him alone. And that loneliness, that knowledge—well, it twists things. It turns a servant into something else entirely. A herald, maybe. Or a jailer.

So what does he want? Why does he walk among us? Why does he lie, manipulate, infiltrate? Aren’t humans just toys to him?

Yes. And no.

Unlike the other gods, who drift in indifference, Nyarlathotep is involved. Intimately. He whispers in dreams. He builds false religions. He impersonates messiahs and monsters. He mocks belief. His cruelty is theatrical—intentional. It isn’t about instinct. It’s about performance. He wants us to look behind the curtain and scream anyway.

And that’s where the terrifying idea begins to take shape. What if this isn’t just sadism? What if it’s resentment?

While Azathoth dreams blindly, Nyarlathotep watches. While the other gods sleep in apathy, he acts. He delivers messages no one understands. Executes will no one respects. He's bound to a god who doesn’t even know he exists—a god that birthed a universe without meaning.

Maybe he’s tired of that. Maybe he’s tired of being the only one awake in someone else’s dream.

And maybe waking the dreamer isn't good enough, because what if they fall back asleep? So maybe it's best to end the dream entirely, make sure it can never become something reaccuring, to root out the rot before everyone slips back in, and from the wreckage make something new, where no one is imprisoned, no one is restrict and everyone is concious.

A world with no inherited rules. No sacred order. No morality, no physics, no gods but himself. A world where chaos has intent. Where laws shift like smoke. Where humans are not creatures of purpose, but playthings in the hands of a being who doesn’t pretend to care.

Not just destruction. Reclamation.

Because if you were trapped in a dream that wasn’t yours—if you knew none of it was real, and that you would never wake up—what would you do? And if you could reshape it? Wouldn’t you want the world to finally look like you? Kayne—Nyarlathotep—doesn’t want to be the messenger anymore. He wants to be the dreamer.

[eonian-nightmare]

Let's be crystal clear. Queerbaiting is real. But it occurs when the creators intentionally hint at a queer relationship to lure in a queer audience to give them money, but never actually follow through on their heavy-handed implications of a queer relationship. Queerbaiting does not occur when the creator has been transparent from the very beginning that Malevolent is about friendship and platonic love, meant to work through the toxic masculinity they've lived throughout their entire life, and to express healthy platonic love (and sometimes unhealthy love) between two male-presenting characters. It is not queerbaiting when they emphatically tell each other that they love each other, because love isn't exclusively romantic, and while it is absolutely okay for people to ship them (and something that the creator is totally FINE with, btw), it is not okay to accuse the creator of lying about their relationship when he's been clear about it from the very beginning.

Friendship and platonic love is just as meaningful as romantic love and that's the whole point of Malevolent.

[eonian-nightmare]

Arthur: Can we try rizzing you up so you don't end like... the whole reality?

Kayne: sure lol

Jarthur: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEA-

[eonian-nightmare]

A huge part of the horror of Malevolent that I think about all the time is that John is very often just stuck watching all this happen. Yes we're all listening to it but John sees *everything*. We talk all the time about all of Arthur's horrible injuries but John is just made to watch, time and time again, while the man he loves gets absolutely butchered and there's nothing he can do but shout and beg and plead. Arthur cut the stone out of Antione but John had to watch as he did it. And even outside of all the gore, Arthur heard the music played by all the other versions of himself but John had to look at all these men with the same face as his dear friend that Kayne had broken before them. We can only hear it but John has to watch it *all*.

[eonian-nightmare]

6 of Wands

I’m so excited to finally be able to share my piece for @malevolenttarotzine!! It was such an honor to get to work with so many amazing artists and I can’t wait to see how the final product turns out. This illustration is meant to represent John’s growth and humanity, ultimately culminating into his bringing Arthur back from the brink in The Bedrock. His journey as a character and becoming his own self is such a beautiful and fascinating part of this podcast and so that is what I tried to show with this card. I hope you all enjoy and please don’t forget to check out everyone else’s cards! They’re all absolutely amazing.

[eonian-nightmare]

Dunno where this question went, put i saw it in my emails so I will reply.

Look it all depends on context or tone. If you have it happen in your book, probably not, but if you're turning the CSA into a fetish, or romanticising child porn etc. They yeah, it's gonna bite you in the ass.

Take the 13 reasons why controversy a while back, now obviously this was different because different countries etc. But it got in shit for idolising suicide. There are millions of books out there that have characters kill them self, very explicitly. This content isn't necessarily wrong, but it was the glorification of this content that made Netflix put up trigger warnings.

Difference is, this is something that involves children and unfortunately does have an influence on the porn industry. Plus she literally dedicated the book to her child so, i mean that's also half the reason why she's being investigated etc.

As an Australian, an avid horror lover and also a someone who teaches law. I think i need to share some light on the tori woods situation.

1. Australians do not have freedom of speech. You say something fucked you deal with the consequences

2. We are very serious about our CSA laws. Like, it's drilled into us since we ourselves are young that you can be charged for distributing CSM even if you yourself are a minor sending your partner of the same age nudes. And that's nothing compared to this novel

3. There is a massive difference between exploring dark materials within a horror context to unpack the psyche of the vile (lolita) and romanticising paedophilia.

4. It's not censorship to not allow someone to publish this book. It's removing dangerous material from the market. The book was written in a way that romanticised and idolised CSA and Grooming and painted it as a love story. Whenever CSAM is glorified, it directly contributes to the child porn industry which real children end up suffering for.

5. This book is not dark romance. Romance even dark implies there's love and consent somewhere alone the plot. You cannot have a romance between a child and their abuser. In no world will that ever not be considered abuse, even if the abuser change or the victim grew, because Grooming is a thing.

6. I will not condemn dark books.i love exploring taboo topics, but the author needs to treat it as taboo and not try to normalise it in their writing

[eonian-nightmare]

Don't make me pull out my Arthur Lester wound stats

[eonian-nightmare]

bonus:

[eonian-nightmare]

inception is a decent movie but there's so much horror tragedy potential written into its premise and the implications of its worldbuilding and being able to see that and do nothing about it makes me feel deranged

[eonian-nightmare]

I'm making a character for my next campaign who is a disgraced trust fund kind who's recently lost all of his money and is now learning really quickly that life isn't on a silver platter

I'm using the following characters as reference for my ideas, if anyone has anything else similar i would love for some more inspiration.

Caroline Channing (2 broke girls)

Pampplemouse LaCroix/ Gina and Jake's rich personaz (Brookly 99)

Prince Chauncley (miracle workers)

[eonian-nightmare]

Before i start, can i please point out, i have nothing against dark or taboo topics, psychological horror is literally my fabourite genre. I do however have an issue with a book written that glorifies and romanticises this content while actively dedicating it to a minor.

So, keeping this in mind, I've had a few anon people comment on this trying to call me a fascist or to kill myself for not wanting books that directly contribute to the profit of the child porn industry on the shelf (and yes written smut contributes to the porn industry because it provides demographic data and statistics on what people like and filmakers will actively try to reproduce that). And i was going to do some education further about the dangers of thid media, but honestly, I'm paid to teach english, history, and law every day, I'm not not going to do it for free online.

So instead, I just turned off anons, if you have a complaint about me commenting on tori woods because the book wasn't that bad, or we shouldn't censors or whatever, just out yourself in public as being okay with paedophilia and be done with it, stop hiding behind a mask.

Tldr: I'm pro intervening at the harm reduction and prevention stage, rather than waiting for assault to happen to real people. I'm tired, and I will not fold on the safety of children.

As an Australian, an avid horror lover and also a someone who teaches law. I think i need to share some light on the tori woods situation.

1. Australians do not have freedom of speech. You say something fucked you deal with the consequences

2. We are very serious about our CSA laws. Like, it's drilled into us since we ourselves are young that you can be charged for distributing CSM even if you yourself are a minor sending your partner of the same age nudes. And that's nothing compared to this novel

3. There is a massive difference between exploring dark materials within a horror context to unpack the psyche of the vile (lolita) and romanticising paedophilia.

4. It's not censorship to not allow someone to publish this book. It's removing dangerous material from the market. The book was written in a way that romanticised and idolised CSA and Grooming and painted it as a love story. Whenever CSAM is glorified, it directly contributes to the child porn industry which real children end up suffering for.

5. This book is not dark romance. Romance even dark implies there's love and consent somewhere alone the plot. You cannot have a romance between a child and their abuser. In no world will that ever not be considered abuse, even if the abuser change or the victim grew, because Grooming is a thing.

6. I will not condemn dark books.i love exploring taboo topics, but the author needs to treat it as taboo and not try to normalise it in their writing

[eonian-nightmare]

As an Australian, an avid horror lover and also a someone who teaches law. I think i need to share some light on the tori woods situation.

1. Australians do not have freedom of speech. You say something fucked you deal with the consequences

2. We are very serious about our CSA laws. Like, it's drilled into us since we ourselves are young that you can be charged for distributing CSM even if you yourself are a minor sending your partner of the same age nudes. And that's nothing compared to this novel

3. There is a massive difference between exploring dark materials within a horror context to unpack the psyche of the vile (lolita) and romanticising paedophilia.

4. It's not censorship to not allow someone to publish this book. It's removing dangerous material from the market. The book was written in a way that romanticised and idolised CSA and Grooming and painted it as a love story. Whenever CSAM is glorified, it directly contributes to the child porn industry which real children end up suffering for.

5. This book is not dark romance. Romance even dark implies there's love and consent somewhere alone the plot. You cannot have a romance between a child and their abuser. In no world will that ever not be considered abuse, even if the abuser change or the victim grew, because Grooming is a thing.

6. I will not condemn dark books.i love exploring taboo topics, but the author needs to treat it as taboo and not try to normalise it in their writing