erwinsmithshairgel

[erwinsmithshairgel]

Commission your custom fiction here from a diversely published author! I specialize in LGTBQ+ themes, but have plenty of experience in other areas as well.

Visit my AO3 for more of my writing!

I do all sort of NSFW work; from noncon to ageplay, to BDSM. My only hard limit is anything to do with f*rry or sc*t.

[erwinsmithshairgel]

The Mockingbird and The Meadowlark: An Eruri Reincarnation Fic

Hello!! After months of work, I’ve finally published chapter one of my eruri reincarnation fic today! I’m so excited to share it with everyone so if Eruri is your jazz & you want some modern flavor on it, please consider following The Mockingbird and The Meadowlark!

Rating: Gen (For now)

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Furlan Church, Isabel Magnolia, Kuchel Ackerman, Levi Ackerman’s Father, Mike Zacharias, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Tags: eventual eruri, One-Sided Levi Ackerman/Furlan Church, Past Levi Ackerman/Furlan Church, One-Sided Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Flashbacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Levi Ackerman Has PTSD, Autistic Erwin Smith, Panic Attacks, Levi Ackerman has Pure-O OCD, Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, ModernEruriWeek’s Modern Eruri Week 2022, Modern Eruri Week 2022, Fic Comes With A Playlist, Worldbuilding, canonverse, Not really an AU since it’s AOT’s canon universe but I’m putting it in the tag anyway!, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Slow Romance

Summary: 100 years after the Paths’ destruction, two souls whose story remained unfinished rose from the astral ashes. Will they be able to move through their self imposed expectations, grief, and remorse in order to find each other once more, or will their hearts remain adrift? Join Erwin, Levi, and others along this modern retelling and reflective journey, as they parse through their inherited trauma to reach the truth.

—–

A smile grew across his lips as he searched the forever frozen expression of his familiar stranger. The statue was but a statue, however; a metallic mixture of copper and tin, not the warm or breathing flesh that lived so vividly in his mind. Hollowness had filled him with the thought, years ago when he was younger – when his eyes were wider, his face more round. But so often had he stood here, neck craned with the toes of his shoes flush against the square pedestal, that projecting any emotion onto that alloy had become as easy as breathing.

Word Count: 5353

Content Warnings: Panic attacks, PTSD flashbacks, food mentions, and medication mentions.

[erwinsmithshairgel]

The Mockingbird and The Meadowlark: An Eruri Reincarnation Fic

Hello!! After months of work, I've finally published chapter one of my eruri reincarnation fic today! I'm so excited to share it with everyone so if Eruri is your jazz & you want some modern flavor on it, please consider following The Mockingbird and The Meadowlark!

Rating: Gen (For now)

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Furlan Church, Isabel Magnolia, Kuchel Ackerman, Levi Ackerman's Father, Mike Zacharias, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Tags: eventual eruri, One-Sided Levi Ackerman/Furlan Church, Past Levi Ackerman/Furlan Church, One-Sided Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Flashbacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Levi Ackerman Has PTSD, Autistic Erwin Smith, Panic Attacks, Levi Ackerman has Pure-O OCD, Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, ModernEruriWeek's Modern Eruri Week 2022, Modern Eruri Week 2022, Fic Comes With A Playlist, Worldbuilding, canonverse, Not really an AU since it's AOT's canon universe but I'm putting it in the tag anyway!, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Slow Romance

Summary: 100 years after the Paths' destruction, two souls whose story remained unfinished rose from the astral ashes. Will they be able to move through their self imposed expectations, grief, and remorse in order to find each other once more, or will their hearts remain adrift? Join Erwin, Levi, and others along this modern retelling and reflective journey, as they parse through their inherited trauma to reach the truth.

-----

A smile grew across his lips as he searched the forever frozen expression of his familiar stranger. The statue was but a statue, however; a metallic mixture of copper and tin, not the warm or breathing flesh that lived so vividly in his mind. Hollowness had filled him with the thought, years ago when he was younger -- when his eyes were wider, his face more round. But so often had he stood here, neck craned with the toes of his shoes flush against the square pedestal, that projecting any emotion onto that alloy had become as easy as breathing.

Word Count: 5353

Content Warnings: Panic attacks, PTSD flashbacks, food mentions, and medication mentions.

[erwinsmithshairgel]

i’m publishing chapter one of my eruri reincarnation fic on the 29th & i’m super nervous it won’t live up to my hopes

[erwinsmithshairgel]

Hi lost ! I'm pretty new to Eruri fandome ( also AOT and anime in general ) but I can't help but notice : so many eruri fanfics , fanarts and fanwork in general are just so freaking sad ? This isn't complain honestly because I love them ( sad eruri fanfics are my favourite fanfics ) I'm just kinda really surprised by it because I've been in plenty of fandomes where part of the ship died , but people would mostly write "fix it" fics and alternative ( happy ) endings instead of sad ones . I've seen some alternative / "happy" ending ones but those are pretty rare compared to the rest . So that has me wondering ... Is it because both Levi and Erwin got actually satisfying endings so fans didn't see anything there to fix ? Or Erwin's death just completely crush all our souls ?

Hey Anon, welcome to the Eruri fandom! I hope you’re enjoying all the achingly beautiful fics and art we’ve been spoiled with over the years.  

There’s a long standing joke in the fandom that Eruris only have two modes; sad and horny, and tbh there’s some truth in that.  There are hundreds of fabulous AUs with happy endings and plenty of excellent canonverse fixit fics too, but there’s no denying that Eruris do love their angst.  There are a few different reasons for that I think.  One is that Erwin and Levi’s sacrifice is very much bound up with their characters and their relationship with each other.  Erwin sacrifices his life for humanity and Levi loses everyone he ever loved fighting for the same cause.  Removing that sacrifice, diminishing that loss, does subtly change who Erwin and Levi I think.  

Some fans (me included) also view Levi’s decision to let Erwin die in peace, relieved of his burden, with his dream intact, as the ultimate expression of love.  It’s the one time in Levi’s life where his decision is swayed by his own personal feelings, rather than the good of humanity.  That in itself speaks volumes.   It’s such a heartbreaking moment and it’s so fundamental to who Levi is.  

I think you’re also right that, in the grand scheme of things, Erwin and Levi did both get really satisfying endings. Much more so than many of the other characters.  I know a lot of writers (me included again lol) love exploring the tragedy of Erwin’s death and Levi’s grief and loyalty. I mean a character that pursues his vow to his dead lover commander for four years after his death is cat nip for writers with a penchant for angst.   

I answered an ask a week or so ago about how different tropes have risen in popularity at different stages over the lifetime of the fandom, that's sort of related to your question.  Before Midnight Sun, there were a lot of canonverse fics imagining Erwin and Levi’s life after the war once the Titans had been defeated (e.g. Coup de Grace by @cherryamber) After Midnight Sun, there was an outpouring of grief, with many writers and artists attempting to process deeply conflicting feelings about Levi’s decision and Erwin’s death.  Some writers turned to happier AUs to seek solace, others left the fandom all together. For a long time after Midnight Sun, it was vanishingly rare to find anyone writing postwar canonverse fic.  Once the series ended more canonverse fics started reappearing focused on Levi’s life after the war.  (I wrote one called The Permanence of the Young Men.) More recently there’s been a vogue for Marley Erwin fics, while other writers have come up with all kinds of creative ways for Erwin to survive Shiganshina and reappear later in the time line.  In These Fallen Leaves  by @masksarehot2 is a great example of this. 

These are just my opinions of course, and I suspect if you asked this question of other writers you’d get some very different responses. It’s an interesting question though, so thanks for your ask!

[erwinsmithshairgel]

the fact that levi lost his entire special squad because of eren fucking jaeger still haunts me to this day the jaeger brothers literally took everything from him for four seasons straight

[erwinsmithshairgel]

sorry i don’t post on here a whole lot. follow me on twitter for daily stuff

[erwinsmithshairgel]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

[erwinsmithshairgel]

i hear a good lyric and start mentally holding up blorbos like im in the home depot paint aisle comparing swatches

[erwinsmithshairgel]

emails with “[AO3] Comment on _____” in the subject line give me a better dopamine rush than hard drugs ever will

[erwinsmithshairgel]

eruri

who won best yaoi

[erwinsmithshairgel]

so wild that people on twitter gender hange correctly more often than people on tumblr

[erwinsmithshairgel]

“fandoms are dying”

yeah well here’s a cool idea: start creating and start reblogging. leave nice comments to your favorite creators. send them prompts. start interacting with others. sounds wild, right? start it today. keep these fandoms alive.

[erwinsmithshairgel]

“levi doesn’t want to die” explain the thunderspear without suicidal tendencies then 🔫

[erwinsmithshairgel]

sorry i don’t post on here a whole lot. follow me on twitter for daily stuff

[erwinsmithshairgel]

a snippet of some eruri smut i’m writing for levi’s birthday ~

Levi’s fingers ghosted forward of their own mind. They latched onto the fabric of Erwin’s shirt at his waist. At the movement, Erwin lifted the bottle, hovering it below Levi’s mouth. The smoky aroma grew stronger until it was dizzying. He breathed shallowly, surveying Erwin’s face almost suspiciously, glancing between the rim & Erwin’s eyes. If there was a question there, Levi would’ve called it stupid. His answer was always obvious. His compliance was always a given.

As Levi remained still, the hand against his cheek urged his head to tilt back. His neck was pliable in Erwin’s hold, though his heart thudded quicker in his ears. Erwin followed his mouth with the bottle’s rim & as the liquid sloshed forward, Levi parted his lips. The sweet & astringent liquor trickled over his tongue & pooled at the back of his mouth. His eyes fluttered shut as his composed expression flinched. Instantly Erwin’s voice came again, quiet & earnest.

“Don’t look away, Levi.”

He took a quick breath through his nose like a gasp & squinted his eyes open again. Erwin looked down at him, his face honest, retaining that earlier ardor, yet growing in intensity. The rosiness on Levi’s cheeks darkened again & the warmth pervaded through Erwin’s palm. Levi’s tight stomach did flips, rioting against him as he forced his throat to relax. The alcohol streamed down with no resistance. Erwin’s eyes gleamed as he watched the almost familiar sight.

taglist: @red-n-tall​​​​​​ @keithmelance​​​​​​ @hangesshittyglasses​​

[erwinsmithshairgel]

i had an idea for a farlan x levi interaction in my fic last night & while i need to edit it heavily still, i wanted to share it as a concept first ~

“Fucking happy?”

Farlan smiled, that cocky, boyish, half smile of his that made Levi want to glare a hole into his forehead. 

“Yeah, & you’re about to be too.” He answered, shifting on his side in the same movement he finally removed his hand from the bag.

Levi gasped lightly as he recognized the all too familiar object. The porous silver gleamed in the flickering torchlight & the pungent aroma hit him all at once.

“You really brought that?” Levi heard his own voice, different, distant, & unusual; bright like the polished pomander. 

Farlan smiled again, with both halves of his mouth as he dangled the object between them. The smell was eating away at Levi’s anxiety already. He watched the swinging, precious thing with eyes that felt more tired by the second. Behind each swing, he could catch glimpses of Farlan’s face; soft, secretive, with eyes bent like a question – a question Levi never had an answer to.

“Hehe, you really like this thing after all, huh?” Farlan teased but Levi’s body was already relaxing.

“Shut up.” He managed to mumble, but his arm gave way. Subconsciously he shifted closer to the scent. Closer to Farlan.

“Ahh~ I’m so smart. What would you do without me, Levi~?” 

He thought on the question, though he knew Farlan was just joking, fluffing up his own ego because he knew him well enough to do this sort of thing for him. Levi blinked, slow with reluctant eyelids, meeting Farlan’s gaze whenever he managed to keep them open. The answer was obvious.

“I’d be so pathetic, just surviving wouldn’t be worth it. Not anymore.”

taglist: @red-n-tall​​​​ @keithmelance​​​​ @hangesshittyglasses​