eschergirls - Tumblr blog

[eschergirls]

The boobs and butt pose isn't for our viewing pleasure actually. It's necessary to warp space/time so she can enter hyperspace.  That's just science.  Sexy science.

(Cover of Crysalis #0, Rothic Comics, submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

Rogue doing her best imitation of a pair of chopsticks or a drawing compass.

(Back cover of X-Men Blue TPB #0, Marvel Comics, submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

Poor Loki Witchblade She-ra, she's apparently slipping on ice or a banana peel or something, and in 0.5 seconds she's about to have a really bad wardrobe malfunction. >_>

Also it kinda looks like she's folding like an accordion.  Just a bad time all around. D:

(Art from Legend of the Cryptids, Applibot Inc., submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

I think she's slipping on ice and when she fires that thing she's going to go flying back. D:

Also, sporting some serious boobsocks.  Maybe those are actually padding to absorb the fall she's about to have.

(Card of Human Sniper from World of Warcraft CCG, Blizzard Entertainment, submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

Choose your fighter: Girl WIth Her Butt On Backwards or Girl With Gold Napkin Thong

(Panel from X-Men: Phoenix - Legacy of Fire, Marvel Comics/Marvel Max)

*note about the tags: the characters are technically named "Jena" and Madelyne "Pyre" from the late Marvel Mangaverse, but for the sake of future archive searchability I've decided to put them under the Jean Grey and Madelyne Pryor tags

[eschergirls]

Maybe the "and three" refers to that third butt or boob on Catwoman's back as her body glitches out apparently.

(Panel from Catwoman vol. 2 #45, DC Comics, submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

That's not a boobs and butt pose, her body is just practicing multi-track drifting.

(Promotional image from Highspeed Etoile, Studio A-Cat)

[eschergirls]

TFW you accidentally snap the Cammy doll in half and then hastily tried to glue her back together before M. Bison gets home.

(Cover of Street Fighter: Sci-Fi and Fantasy Special, Udon Comics, submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

It's been 2 weeks so it's time to announce the winners of the April caption contest!

We didn't have as many entries this month, so I'm just going to pick a winner and a runner up and an honorable mention. 

Each winner will get to choose a prize if they wish (but you don't have to, you can just participate for fun too.)  The prizes are extra Steam codes that I've acquired through bundles over the years and I figure that giving them out for contests would be fun.  

Anyway here are the entries!

Disqus:

GreenLuthor: New from Milton Bradley, it's Escher Girls Twister! Right hand red! Left hip yellow! Right boob blue! Imry: Guy in the back: And I twist my spine like this? Is that how you do a boobs and butt pose? Gal in front: Hmm... nope, not working. You really gotta have boobs to do the pose. If you want a ridiculous fighting stance, try something like this? Imry: Character: Reith, Special Attack: pulling those Looney Tunes round bombs out of her bra and throwing them P J Evans: Are those boobs, or is she smuggling lemons? Because boobs are *definitely* not shaped like that. P J Evans: Magna Cuppa: Tears of Pain (Because those boobs need more support)

Tumblr:

@chaoscheebs: The moment she saw her dullahan friend's head starting to fall off in shock from the surprise attack, the lady in white jumped to block the attack aimed at her precious friend. Unfortunately, the angle she had to work from was a little awkward, but that's how battle goes sometimes.  As long as they were safe, it didn't matter anyway. @chasedbybuildings: 'Listen to me or I'll pop her boob!' @elkian: The magician seamlessly divided not only her assistant, but also *herself* into dozens of pieces. Unfortunately, the reassembly was a *little* less professional... @haveievermentioned: "Why did we camp under the orange tree again?" @zombiemollusk: "i don't care if they're the same color, you're supposed to hide the melons UNDER your shirt, not glue them over it." "hey, if it works, it works." "it doesn't work! look, here, let me just cut them off myself and show you how-" "no, back off! stop that! cut it ou- wait actually don't do that- augh, quit it!"

The honorable mention goes to: GreenLuthor "New from Milton Bradley, it's Escher Girls Twister! Right hand red! Left hip yellow! Right boob blue!"

The runner-up is... @elkian "The magician seamlessly divided not only her assistant, but also *herself* into dozens of pieces. Unfortunately, the reassembly was a *little* less professional..."

And the winner is... @chasedbybuildings "'Listen to me or I'll pop her boob!'" which instantly made me laugh when i saw it.

Congratulations to the winners and also thank you so much to everybody who participated!

Please stay tuned for a new caption contest in May!

If you won and would like a Steam code as a prize, please message me with which prize you would like.  If you came in 2nd, message me with 2 choices in order of preference...  I'll give you your top choice that hadn't been taken by the other winners. (To clarify, every winner only gets 1 prize, but winners other than the one in first place should give me their list of games in order of preference so if one is taken, I'll give you the next on the list.  It makes it easier for me to hand out the prizes.)

If either the winner or the runner up don't claim a prize, then the honorable mention gets a prize if they want one.

The Steam codes I have available as prizes are for: Castle Crashers, Hotel Giant 2, Latte Stand Tycoon +, Mythic Ocean, Rage in Peace, Riot: Civil Unrest, Shattered - Tale of the Forgotten Kings, Steel Storm: Burning Retribution, The Hong Kong Massacre, Trifox, and Uncertain: Light At The End.

I was looking through old UK gaming magazines with friends trying to source something, and I ran into this cover which... is something.  Also I think history class misled me about the Magna Carta.  Clearly it was a charter of rights for breasts to be free of their hosts. xD

Anyway, with the art and the game title "Magna Carta" and the magazine title, I figure there's a lot to work from here for a caption contest, so let's have one!

Caption the image.  What's happening? What are they doing?  You can include the text in your caption to make a joke or whatever if you want to play on it, but you don't have to.

Submit your captions here using reblog or reply, by email at eschergirls@gmail.com or on the main site using Disqus comments.

I'll pick the best/funniest captions for winners in two weeks!

Winners can get a choice of prizes if they want, but you don't need to accept a prize to participate if you just want to participate for fun!

Good luck everybody!

(Cover of PLAY magazine vol. 45, Sept. 2005)

[eschergirls]

waitworry submitted:

"oh i found an L5R card with some escher worthy art"

She's trying to distract you with her legs so you don't notice her smuggling fruit out of your bed.

(Card art of Bayushi Kurumi from Legend of the 5 Rings, Alderac Entertainment Group & Fantasy Flight Games)

[eschergirls]

Eyepatch girl is trying to look nonchalant about having her feet glued to the ground while she poses with her friends.

(Page from Girls of Gaming vol. 6, PLAY Magazine, submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

Boobs and butt pose aside, I kinda like how her outfit looks like she murdered Frieza from Dragon Ball and made clothes (and random belts) out of him. xD 

Somehow, her pose is still less painful looking than the sexy Spartan from the same game that's been on this blog before.  

(Art from Magic Knight Armageddon, DeNA Japan & VNG Corp., submitted by anon)

[eschergirls]

Pictured: an unhappy angel getting indigestion from apparently swallowing an entire black hole.

(Cover of Penny for your Soul: Pestilence #6, Big Dog Ink, submitted by anonymous)

[eschergirls]

Cassie showing off the boobs and butt pose and then seeming VERY enthusiastic about finding out if her lasso would drain her own life. >_>

(Page and panels from Teen Titans vol. 4 #28, DC Comics)

[eschergirls]

@haveievermentioned submitted:

"Kaine from the NieR promo comics by DC/Wildstorm.  I will defend the outfit as the game  not only justifies it but genuinely ties it into her character development and backstory.  (this isn't me being facetious, go play NieR) however... the rest of it is just so off.  Including the face.  Kaine doesn't ever even get CLOSE to that kind of expression."

This is what happens when you're setting up your display of battle lingerie because corporate says the next big thing is sexy barbarian chic, but also you can't quite get the legs and butt to fit together with the top of the mannequin and you're like, whatever, it's my last day anyway, and it's almost closing...

(Cover of NiER #1, Wildstorm Productions & DC Comics)

[eschergirls]

madfishmonger submitted:

"File this under "The artist's barely disguised fetish" It took me a minute to realize, but she's supposed to be wearing this style of fetish shoe (ballet heels). To WAR. She's going to WAR. In THOSE."

Nothing wrong with fetish shoes. PROBABLY not a good idea to wear them in war though, but what do I know? I don't exist in the post-apocalyptic space war universe.  Maybe one needs to stand on their tippy-toes to see the entire battlefield.  Maybe having hooves commands respect.  Maybe the soldiers are better motivated knowing that their commanders are suffering as much as they are standing in those things.

Maybe my brain is just melting.  That happens too when I stare at my inbox too long.

(Cover of Warhammer 40,000 - Codex: Sisters of Battle, Games Workshop)

[eschergirls]

This was shown to me by somebody on Discord and this is apparently part of a review of the game?  And... what... just... what... Everything about this is so cringe.  Like, why even mention Claris just to imply that they would admit to lusting over her if she was of legal age?  That's so creepy, even as a joke. 

And everything about Tillis is just so weird.  Like they call her a cool and strong female lead, but then there's that weird tangent about how hot she is that their Art Editor is drooling over her and just... why... why anything. xD  90s gaming mags were certainly something...

Also, the internet would very much prove this writer wrong about people not being hot and bothered for Amy Rose >_>

As for the picture itself, all I can think of is "We have Asuka Evangelion at home."

(Review of Burning Rangers from Sega Saturn Magazine #31)

Transcript of text:

Burning Ranger: Raunch Factor 10 It's about time that the Sonic Team produced a strong female lead for one of their games. After all, no-one's really got all hot and bothered about Amy Rose from the Sonic games (insert your own hedgehog-based "prick" gag here). And as for the "budding" 15 year-old Claris in NiGHTS... well, we're not saying anything. Not until we've cleared it thoroughly with our legal people. The advent of Burning Rangers brings an end to this sad, sordid tale. Tillis is cool. In fact, our very own Art Editor, Mr McEvoy has this very image on his desktop at work. When we think he's staring at his latest layout for the mag, he's actually drooling feverishly at the picture you're looking at on this page. The words "pervert" and "colossal" spring to mind...