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My 5y/o wanted me to tell her a story about vampires, so i tried to tell her the plot of Dracula. It went something like this:

So there was this young man named Jonathan, and he worked with selling houses. And the company he worked at got a letter from Count Dracula in Transsylvania, saying that the Count would like to buy a house in London, and would they please send somebody over to talk about houses? And Jonathan's boss said: "This sounds like a job for you, Jonathan. You like travelling." So Jonathan went to Transsylvania, to the Count's castle, and he met Count Dracula. But it was strange. There were no servants there - a Count who lives in a castle should have servants, but there weren't any. And the Count was gone all day, and didn't appear until after the sun went down. And they talked about many things, but they didn't make much progress on what house the Count should buy. And then Jonathan found out that he couldn't leave. He was trapped in the castle!

I don't remember how, but he got out. I think he climbed out a window to escape. And he ran to the nearest train station, and they sent him on to Germany, and from there back to London. He was all upset and couldn't talk, and his doctor said it was best to leave him alone and let him rest. So his wife, Mina, she only found out what had happened to him when she read his diary.

Count Dracula, he was a vampire. And he wanted a house in London so that he could drink the blood of the people there. You know, London is a big city, so there's a lot of blood. But Jonathan and Mina and their friends drove him away from London, and then they followed him to Transsylvania and killed him. How to kill a vampire? The story says you have to drive a stake through their heart. Then they die.

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xkcd

idea

an ATLA AU with 118 nations based on the periodic table

helium benders would have exactly one funny prank and use it all the time

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me as a kid reading Dune: I appreciate the detailed world-building that justifies why everyone fights with swords and has mental powers, but the idea of a Butlerian Jihad against computers is pretty silly

me in 2025, trying desperately to find the three (3) places you need to go to to disable the latest helpful AI assistant that's inserted itself into my work chat and is advising me to do things that would be a breach of federal law: Oh Now I Get It

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beats and breaks from the flower patch

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The first tomato flowers!

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Today, I dug out my sushi mat for the first time in ages, and tried to make some rolls. The results were...

...eatable. Barely. Many grains of rice were dropped 😅

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Here are paintings by the late deaf Korean artist Kim Ki-Chang, depicting Jesus in Korea in the Joseon era. Painted in 1953 while Kim was in anguish during the Korean War.

Shown: saving Peter, falsely accused woman, inviting Peter and Andrew, feeding the multitude, refugee flight, baptism of Jesus, the Nativity, the adoration of the Magi.

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Latin American clergy appreciation hours

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Pope John Paul II consoling Mehmet Ali Agca, the man who attempted to assassinate him, 1983

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Er... folded? How is that not on the poll?

as you say the our father in mass, how are your hands positioned?

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Karate Kid and Disney's Robin Hood? Half of me thinks it would be awful. Half of me thinks there's a worthwhile story in there, if only somebody would tease it out.

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my number one tip for oc design is to get so obsessed you draw them 200 times over the course of two months. then whichever details you consistently forget/simplify? retcon em. boom. effective memorable character design. works every time.

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“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!”

One of our awesome volunteers brought in this submarine as enrichment for the octos, and this little sea monster has had a fantastic time sinking the ship, causing chaos, and finding food while doing so! I love the simplicity of this little vessel as a form of enrichment, and the potential it holds for more complicated activities.

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Die Wunder der Natur - Adolf Heilborn - 1912 - via Internet Archive

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Jesus: Many will loathe you and be cruel to you.

Me: Lol, what's new?

Jesus: And you must love them and be kind to them.

Me: Wait a frickin second-