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euphoniaofathousandwinds · 3 years ago

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CHAPTER 3 — THE MOMENT

"What do you want us to do?"

The three of them had found themselves on Kairos' Hill once again, this time a little closer than before.

Nearly nothing had changed in the hill, save the single dandelion that had sprouted in the center of where they stood. the three of them were careful not to harm the soft blossom as they walked up the hill.

"You said..." ria began, "you'll help us find who we are. And yet, after all this time, you've barely assisted us at all."

"It seems, though, you're the only one who continues to be lost, young one."

"What do you mean?"

The omnipresent voice need not even gesture, pointing Ria to the three individuals who were happily chatting away upon Kairos' Hill, the initial objective of their trek lost.

"What do you want to become?"

"Me?" Ria pointed to herself, surprised.

"Yes. They have healed their scars, although not completely. however, they make the effort to heal. and you...have locked yourself in your perpetual agony. Capable of freedom yet treating yourself as undeserving."

She froze, staring into the ground and refusing to face the winds that queried a curiosity painfully etched into her heart. ria could feel herself shake from where she stood.

"But what if what I want to become is impossible to achieve?"

"Can something truly be impossible until an attempt has been made?" the voice countered.

Ria paused, gazing at her companions who had risen from their seats and accompanied her in facing the winds.

"If that's the case then...I want to be free." she spoke with conviction, "Free from these memories, free from the betrayal and contempt I feel not only from those I called my friends but from myself. I want to..."

"Fade away? Is that what you seek?" The voice finished accusingly, almost in a familiar mocking tone.

Her friends stared at her in disbelief, waiting for an answer even Ria herself dreaded to give. They had already provided the go signal for her to make the wish, but it didn't make the idea of taking it for herself any less concerning.

"I don't want anything."

"Same here."

"Mhm~"

"So, the only one who wants to make a wish is..." Ria breathed deeply, "me?"

"Yeah! But we'll help you through it, no matter what!"

"No." Ria finally answered, "that's the last thing I could ever want. if I truly was free to ask for one thing to become..."

And for a moment, it was as though the world stilled in thought.

"I want to become free enough to feel happiness again. Can you grant that for me, then?"

"All things are possible, if only you ask kindly enough. You wish to part from your memories, to be free of the shackles you have been out through. I am no different. At the price of my freedom, I will grant you yours."

"How do we achieve that, then? How do we get you freed?" Lucas asked, confused.

"If we do that, will you grant Ria's wish? To make it all disappear?" Irina followed.

"Of course." The voice assured, "I am a deity, after all, the will of my subjects shall be granted to the truth."

"Wait, deity?!"

The winds began to roar viciously, as though locking away the answers mar's question had sought

"The heart of the winds, the evanescence of time. where night and day converge, where the moment is frozen and fractured into an eternal memory. there lies a heart, mine own. Find it, possess it, return it to me. grant me the freedom of a thousand millennia, and I will grant you the freedom of all your suffering."

***

"Where the heck do you find..."

"The heart of the winds, the evanescence of all time. Where night and day converge and where the moment is frozen and fractured into an eternal memory." Irina finished, reciting the riddle completely.

"That honestly scares me more than the voice of the winds."

"Voice of the winds...Aha!" Mar exclaimed, standing upright. The sudden movement was enough to baffle Lucas, who stared at him confusedly. "Have you ever heard of the deity that used to roam these lands?"

Ria perked up from where she was sitting, sullen and empty eyes glittering at a fond memory. "I do."

The other three yelped in shock, surprised at the sudden remark from someone who had been dazed since they left Kairos' Hill.

"My grandmother used to tell me of a goddess who was once worshipped in the lands. She was loving and kind...until she was betrayed by the ones she loved. Her divine form was imprisoned in Tetrasa, and her memory was lost to oblivion."

"Yes, that one!" Mar agreed, flicking open a history book he had found in who-knows-where.

It was both his and Irina's idea to continue their search for the "heart" in the local library. After all, what better place is there for a myriad of unthinkable knowledge?

"They said that the imprisonment ritual was conducted in Tetrasa, on a certain pavement at the cusp of midnight," he paused, shock reeling in his expression as his voice lowered, "and they left the goddess' divine form scattered in the lands, but kept her heart buried in the center of town."

"What's at the center of town, anyway?"

The four of them took moments into thought before their gazes crashed in a rush of realization.

"THE CLOCK TOWER!"

And now here they were, scaling the interior of the ancient Tetrasa clocktower, as Irina explained the context of the riddle to unwilling listeners.

"Here," Mar called out, pausing at a spot where the sun had grazed just barely. "At the cusp of night and day, this place should be glimmering with sun and moonlight."

"Are we seriously going to have to wait until sundown? It's barely 6 p.m. !"

"Not exactly," Irina replied, bringing out a solar flashlight and several mirrors. It seemed the only person to catch on was Mar as they began preparing a contraption of unknown origin.

Lucas and Ria could only stare in bewilderment, watching their fellows refract the sunlight into the area Mar had pointed.

"Woah..."

"There! A heart!" Ria exclaimed, gesturing to the vague shadow that appeared. The two inspected the area closely, staring at the location where the shadow had come from.

Carefully, Lucas removed a small heart-shaped glass fragment, much to their complete disbelief.

"This is the goddess's heart?" Irina stared in half-disappointed surprise. "Rather underwhelming."

"Don't let her hear you that," Mar flicked her forehead jokingly. "Anyway, we need to get this to her now! The sun's began to set!"

Swiftly, the three of them found their way atop Kairos' Hill again, this time devoid of any wind or warm voices to greet their presence.

Ria could feel a pang in her chest, of guilt and a heavy conscience that had slowly begun to weigh on her. These people...were helping her. They were assisting her in gaining her selfish, cruel little wish to save herself from her endless self-pity. They made no protest or complaint at her wish and were in no way hesitant to help.

And Ria hated that. She hated the kindness she felt she could never deserve, especially not from her. Not after all the things she almost did.

"I'm..." Ria panted, falling to the ground as they awaited the sun's sinking. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Irina."

"Wha—? Where did this come from?" Irina asked, taken aback. "Was it because I beat you earlier? It's that, right?"

"Don't feel sorry, Carter. It's fine to be last sometimes." Lucas assured her of all the wrong things.

"Why...are you helping me? Why are you so okay with me taking this selfish wish for myself?" Ria questioned desperately, shaking from where she had sat down in defeat.

It felt wrong. It felt like the worst kind of betrayal. It felt like a weight on her that tugged and pulled on her soul, reminding her of all the bad things she'd done and what worse things she could become.

"Because we're friends, duh." Lucas said casually.

And it was those words that sent her to tears.

Ah—AHH! Don't cry, Ria!" Irina frantically tried to lean closer, patting the other in a weak attempt at comfort.

"Do...Do you even know why I want to be free? Do you even know of the bad things I've done?"

Irina arched a brow, though her gaze remained as warm and comforting as Ria despised so much.

"Because...I was spreading horrible things about you all over school. With the Top 2, my former friend, Lyanna. And the time you almost got hospitalized because you lost your medicine, that was my fault too."

"Ah..." Irina stuttered, taking in quite a deal of information in one sitting.

"Lyanna was so desperate to beat you, and I was so desperate to stay her friend that I wound up doing something that could have hurt you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"Breathe, Ria," Irina assured gently. "I'm fine, see? Lyanna's harmful prank didn't do anything. It was ineffective—mostly because I carried three dosages of my medicine for precautionary measures."

"Then why were you almost hospitalized?" Ria asked, through sniffles as her tears began to calm down.

"Ah, that one is my fault. I actually ended up making her stay in an airconditioned room for longer than necessary, which caused a reaction in her system." Mar replied.

"Hey, wasn't that the time you were tutoring me?" Lucas interjected, "If that's the case then, I'm sorry too."

Irina faltered, a blush creeping up her cheeks at all the words of apologies being thrown without reason. "Aahh! You two, stop! I'm fine, see? Nothing bad happened."

She turned to Ria, whose face was as confused as she was before. It was cute to see, although she would prefer if it was replaced with a warm smile like the ones she had left for Irina when she was taken to the hospital after their trip downtown.

"If it's forgiveness you want, then I forgive you, Ria. You're not as horrible as you think you are. To me and everyone else here..."

Ria paused, watching the glistening moonlight illuminate Irina's figure that smiled at her so brightly. Was she really deserving of forgiveness? Of a smile and a pat on the back to welcome her?

"You are a dear friend."

Ria could feel a part of her explode in uncontrollable happiness, pulling the four of them into a gentle yet tight embrace. The others returned fervently, letting themselves be consumed by each other's presence if even just for a moment.

"Have you finished your dramatics?" the voice asked, appearing out of nowhere and shocking them all.

"Rude!"

"Yes, but I don't think—"

"Yeah," Ria replied, holding the heart in her hands, much to the surprise of her friends.

"Do you still want your wish, Ria?" Mar queried curiously.

"Yes. Now, what do you want me to do?"

"Hold it in your hands, and sing the song you gave me on the second night here."

"I got it," Ria replied, holding the heart tightly as the winds enveloped a beautiful and soothing harmony.

"Where do we turn once the thousand winds take flight? To the south wind that soothes or the north wind that bites? For all those who hear the hymn of yesteryear, may your tales live on in the wind's chime as fragments of the legends in immemorial skies."

And in a flash, a voice asked. this time, only for her ears, this time divine and full of unknown power, it was almost enough to make ria drop to her knees.

"What do you ask of a deity, my child?"

"Please...let me treasure this moment. please let it never be forgotten. can you grant that?"

"I am the goddess of moments, child. Freezing but a fraction and memorializing its wake is mere child's play." the deity assured, "what do you wish for exactly, dear? Invoke my name as you speak it."

"I wish...for all of this to never be forgotten." Ria declared, "Goddess Astaroth!"

"As you wish."

And as the white began to fade, Ria could hear a part of the wind whisper in her ears, left unintelligible by the ringing she received in her eardrums.

"It's not as magical as I had hoped."

"It's almost never as magical as we hoped though."

And the four of them let out a soft chuckle. Slowly though, they fell silent as the winds began to waft through the air, a soft sense of victory and calm enveloping them.

And on the hill of a dark, starry night, the lone dandelion spread into the winds. In its wake, they could hear a gentle voice:

"Thank you. Thank you for setting me free."

Silently, they turned to one another, hearing the same song wander in the quiet night.

"Thank you, too!" they replied, this time clutching the lockets of pressed dandelions and frozen moments in time, a lasting memory of a friendship never to be forgotten.

Thus memorialized in the boundless winds and skies.

#euphonia of a thousand winds

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euphoniaofathousandwinds · 3 years ago

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Dandelions - Ludwik Stasiak c. 1900

Polish;1858-1924

Oil on canvas

#🌼

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euphoniaofathousandwinds · 3 years ago

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CHAPTER 2 — THE VISION

"On Kairos' Hill, tomorrow night. The answers you seek may be found if only you look hard enough."

This was the predicament Ria Carter had found herself in today. The classes passed rather quickly, as she faded in and out of the gazes that were thrown at her occasionally. But what plagued her mind wasn't her pending Physics project or the pop quiz in History that was leaked momentarily.

What haunted her was the voices that she, alongside Mar, Lucas, and Irina had heard last night. What terrorized her were the insults, the jibes, and the personal affronts thrown at her that shook her to the core.

But what broke her the most into her downcast state was the gentle, familiar voice that guided them down the hill that night.

"Come forward, if you seek to find who you truly are."

What they truly are? Was some voice in the wind really going to lead them through some spiritual journey into awakening their full potential like some B-Grade anime?

'I might be late tonight. I have a stunt performance downtown.' Lucas had texted her earlier. How they even managed to compose themselves enough that night to exchange numbers was beyond her.

All she knew right now was that she was going up Kairos' Hill through the dirt path, accompanied by Irina, Mar, and Lucas. Well, hopefully, to say the least. The former two had not provided any clarification on whether or not they wanted to act upon the words of the voice in the wind. Hey, even Ria was a bit apprehensive to trust an unknown voice when their past encounters with such weren't the least bit pleasant. But she also doubts the wind needed them to RSVP their presence tonight, so she left it up to fate if they were willing to chase the answers they wanted.

"You're here." Irina declared, her small frame rocking lightly to the beat of the music in her earphones. "Mar's running late."

"So is Lucas," Ria replied, sitting down on a bench near the foot of the mountain, beside Irina.

The atmosphere slowly grew awkward, as neither felt the need nor the knowledge to approach and engage in conversation. The dead silence of the leaves rustling in the wind filled the next few moments, all until Marlon arrived.

"Lucas texted," he said, not minding the egregious atmosphere that had grown between the two girls. "He said to go ahead without him."

"Very well, then!" Irina stood up, wiping off the nonexistent dirt from her teal dress. The light color only served to highlight the paleness in her complexion, which sent a bit of guilt into a long-buried part of Ria's memories.

With that, the three of them slowly trekked up the dirt road they had been terrorized in only last night. By the time they arrived at the top of Kairos' Hill, the sky had grown significantly darker than it was before.

The winds enveloped their bodies as the stars glimmered in the night sky. But aside from Irina's soft pants from short breath, there was nothing but silence. The voice was nowhere to be heard...found.

And the confusion was shared across all of them.

"Is it because we're incomplete?" Mar proposed, prompting himself to pick up the phone and dial Lucas.

And at that moment, a voice bellowed.

"Sing!"

"What? Did it just say sing?"

"Sing!" the winds howled, growing fiercer and stronger, tipping Irina to the side, had Mar not caught her.

"What song?!" Ria asked desperately, if only to appease the winds that seemed to rage so suddenly.

A melody began to play, through the deafening roar of the winds, and it sent shivers down Ria's spine to hear it again.

"I know that song..." she trailed off, eyes radiant in shock and mesmerization.

"Then sing it, before the wind throws us all off the hill!"

Composing herself, Ria caught her voice before it cracked in nerve. She allowed the winds to calm down, letting her hymn be heard through the night's silence.

Thus, the wind began to calm down as it sank into a soothing melody. Ria could feel her nerves still at the softer voice that wafted from the night sky that day.

But the words that came were nothing close to the assurance they had hoped to receive.

"An accident. Quickly, or your friend might meet an untimely end."

The image of Lucas flashed in their minds. First, proud and joyous, smirking as he put on his helmet for yet another stunt show. Was this the reason he was late to their meetup today? He was performing stunts downtown, wasn't he?

Next, a flash of red. So swiftly, Lucas had made his way across the course, motorcycle whirring at a speed beyond their eyes could fathom. He was skilled, sure, everyone knew of his little gimmicks downtown, but what did the voice mean when—

A crash. Loud, and deafening. The crowd was covered in screams and cries for help. Panic ensued. In the rubble, a familiar voice groaned, wincing and groaning in the pain of dozens of wounds.

"...help...me..."

"What are you waiting for? RUN!" the voice bellowed, sending a gust of wind to nearly have them roll down the hill. The three felt themselves dazed from the long daydream, thinking momentarily about their next course of action.

It was almost as though the voice meant to get rid of them quickly, as the next few words not only sent shivers down Ria's spine but made her blood run cold.

"If you dawdle any longer, you'll be finding a corpse instead of a friend."

And with that, the three of them ran. It was almost surreal, how quickly they made it from the top of Kairos' Hill all the way to the other side of Tetrasa, the downtown area where the world seemed to grow darker than pitch black.

Irina was the last to compose herself, pants ringing through all their ears as she struggled to keep up with the fast pace. No one blamed her for it, and Mar was kind enough to suggest she sit this one out for her own safety, but even he seemed taken aback by what she replied:

"...You..." she had said, between bated breaths, "...none of you have ever been downtown, right? How would you ever know where Lucas' stunt show is?"

And now there she was, wading them through the darker parts of their small town, as though she'd been there enough times to memorize the place like the back of her hand. But neither Mar nor Ria had the time or energy left to expend in interrogating her, as the image of Lucas' bloodied body and the haunting words of the voice continued to linger in their minds.

"Excuse me, is this where Lucien will be performing tonight?" Irina asked the bouncer who had blocked their path.

"Yes," the large figure replied, "but you need tickets to get in."

"Eep!" Mar yelped, shocked by the voice. Well, considering his yelping hadn't ended at any point since their arrival downtown, that much wasn't really surprising.

"But we really need to get in!"

"So do a lot of people, ma'am. Still, no tickets, no entry."

"You don't understand, mister," Mar declared, although he could barely be seen from where he was cowering behind Ria, "it's a matter of life and death! Someone is in danger!"

"It's a stunt show, sir. It's supposed to be dangerous."

"What in the world are you all doing here?"

"LUCAS!" the three of them exclaimed, eyes lighting up at the realization that he hadn't gone on yet. But the joy was short-lived, as they saw he was already dressed up in full gear.

"Thanks, Marco, but they're with me. You can let them pass." he beckoned the three to follow him inside, as the bouncer opened the door without complaint.

The inside was...bewildering, to say the least. There were crowds upon crowds, cheering and laughing at the performers who were doing their flavors of foolhardy feats. Some of them were so flabbergastingly dangerous that it made Ria nervous, and she wasn't even the one performing.

Which brought them back to their current issue. The three of them locked eyes for milliseconds, reaching the immediate conclusion that they needed to tell Lucas about the vision from the voice.

But just visualizing how they would attempt to do that was enough to make their heads hurt.

"What happened up on the hill?" Lucas broke their train of thought fairly quickly, sipping on an energy drink to add to his adrenaline. "Did the voice stay true to their promise? Or was it really just some mass hallucination or something?"

"Actually, to be classified as a mass hallucination, it would probably require a larger number of people—"

"Don't take it literally, Lancaster. And you should sit down, you look pale." Lucas chided, turning to Ria again to beckon an answer.

"The voice came back," she began, hoping the tension wouldn't crash the weight of her own words.

"And?"

"And it told us that you were going to suffer a bad accident in your stunt today, which is why we ran here."

They could feel something snap. Lucas' brows furrowed, annoyance and disdain playing in his expressions continuously. He stared at the three of them, weighing their expressions and the sincerity of their words with every glance.

"Yeah, no. I'm not buying it." Lucas said stubbornly, picking up his helmet and threatening to wear it and go ahead with his stunt.

Possessed by some unknown courage, Mar grabbed the helmet and pulled it far from Lucas.

"What the... Mar, give it back."

"You need to listen to us! The voice showed us your body, beat up and covered in blood because of these reckless performances!"

"Last I checked," Lucas' voice turned sharp, annoyed by the interference and unwelcome dialogue, "I wasn't asking for your opinion on my shows. Just hand me the helmet, Marlon."

"No, don't! Do you realize how dangerous the things you're doing are?!" Irina answered frantically, her face still faintly pale from the exhaustion. "The chances of you getting into an accident or worse is catastrophic!"

"I don't care about that!" Lucas shouted, this time furious.

"Then what about the people who care about you, then? They're probably worried sick—"

The raven-haired boy tsked, eyes rolling in defiance. Ria was ready to continue her beratement, but the words that fell from her classmate's mouth felt like a weight pulling at her stomach.

"That would actually matter if there were people who cared," Lucas said, nonchalantly. Or rather, that was the image he attempted to project. Even Irina fell silent as she heard the crack in his voice and the weight he carried in his words.

"Lucien! You're up—Oh, am I interrupting something?" a crewman came into Lucas' room, giving them all curious looks and smiling awkwardly at the downcast atmosphere.

All eyes locked on Lucas, whose gaze was intent on Mar's as the other continued to deprive him of his helmet. Finally, he sighed and shook his head scornfully.

"Cut me out of today's show. Or replace me, whatever. I'm not going on tonight," he turned to the three, who beamed joyously, "happy?"

The three of them nodded sincerely, as the crewman made his way out of the room to escape the weighing tension.

The four of them fell silent, not knowing how to approach a topic or each other now that their main concern, Lucas' safety, had been dealt with.

But surprisingly, the ice-breaker came from the tongue that brought it, Ria, herself.

"What...do you mean, when you say that there weren't people who cared about whether you got hurt or not?"

Lucas groaned, an unusual habit as they would come to notice, before glaring lightly at the three of them.

"Don't pretend you haven't heard the story. It was the talk of the town for months when I came here." Lucas stood up, pulling a newspaper clipping from who-knows-where and presenting it in front of their eyes.

It was a piece from the local paper, and quite old too. Around a few years now, if any of them were capable of noting. The headline read, in bright bold letters:

"Illegitimate son of a senator sent away to Tetrasa"

And that was when the realization struck.

"You're...the senator's son?!" Mar exclaimed, eyes still fixed on the paper Lucas had shown them.

"Oh. You guys really didn't know." He said, looking surprised for once. "Yeah. His greatest shame, if you'll have it."

"Your father," Irina inquired, "tossed you here to keep you out of his sight, didn't he?"

Lucas paused, taking in the brutal honesty of Irina's words. Ria was beginning to question whether she just had really bad social skills or she was just intentionally being crass.

Slowly, Lucas nodded, his gaze fixed on the marble floor that seemed to offer all the answers in the world.

"He sent us here to shut down rumors and to..." he breathed sharply, "fade away. Almost like another method of simply deleting us from existence, now that we became inconvenient."

"Is that why you do the stunts? To get him to notice you?" Mar pressed on, losing his cowardice for even a few moments.

"Yeah, that too. But I mostly felt like doing it to get back at him...for trying to make me fade away. I wanted to be here, surrounded by cheering crowds, to remind myself I wasn't disappearing from the Earth, just like how he wants me to."

"But that's stupid," Irina said.

"Are you always this mean? And they say I'm the bad boy." Lucas said, pouting at Irina's choice of words. Turning solemn, he went on. "Yeah, I know. It's stupid and meaningless and horribly dangerous but..."

"But it's all you have?" Ria finished, to Lucas' agreement.

"And what if you get hurt? What if the vision came true and we weren't here to stop it, what if you got into an accident, or worse," Mar breathed deeply, "died?"

"Then you'd be doing him a favor, right? You'd be finishing what he started," Irina continued, causing Lucas to lose his composure for a few minutes as he came to what they were saying.

"Then he'd win. He'd go on with his life, and you'd be a bygone anecdote, a momentary inconvenience left to memories." Ria closed, sealing their words off to strike something deep into Lucas.

It was effective, it seems, considering he was staring off into the distance, pondering their words sagely. Did they hit the mark?

"Haaa. Whatever."

Well, it was worth a shot. The three of them thought collectively.

"But it was nice. Thank you for that," Lucas said, turning away from them all to hide the blush very visible on his ears all the way to his neck.

"He's like a tomato," Mar whispered.

"I can hear you!" Lucas growled, growing further in scarlet. "But yeah. Thank you for worrying about me. It was...nice to feel that for once."

And the three of them shared a soft smile.

"I'm glad..." Irina had managed to say, before fainting completely.

"IRINA!"

Suffocating.

The hospital rooms Irina had made into her home felt suffocating to look at, that was Ria's honest opinion. Here she was now, sitting beside an unconscious Irina after she had to be rushed to the hospital due to her condition.

Mar was outside, handling the brunt of the explanation, having to reason out to Irina's parents why their daughter was out at night, and moreso, downtown. Lucas had to step out of the picture for a moment as well, lest he becomes the unwilling target of a parental interrogation.

"Urgh.. my head hurts.." the figure atop the hospital bed said, shaking awake. Ria lighted up in surprise, ready to rush out and call the nurses to tell the news. "Wait!"

"I'm just going to tell them you're awake," she assured.

"That's what I meant. Don't...do that." Irina replied, trying her best to get up despite how frail she looked. "Please."

Ria could feel an underlying desperation in her voice and moved back to her earlier seat beside Irina.

Much to her surprise, the other gathered their strength quickly, standing up from the hospital bed and dragging Ria outside through a passage in who-knows-where. It was only moments before they found themselves outside, in front of a stream behind the hospital building.

And near the stream was Mar, who seemed to busy himself with preparing a makeshift picnic near a grove, and Lucas, who was surprisingly nimble in his assistance.

"When did they..."

"I texted them earlier." You know what, for once, Ria didn't feel like asking. She herself was exhausted to the bone, and the quiet scenery of the calm stream was compelling enough to quiet her down.

Once they were all seated, they began to chat idly. Almost as though this was the most casual conversation to have. Almost as though it was only last night that they were terrorized by a voice of unknown origin, and haunted by visions of accidents and crashes. Almost as though they were just a couple of high schoolers being friends.

"You wanted to ask me something, right?" Irina said, taking a bite from a sandwich Ria could only assume she wouldn't be allowed to taste in normal circumstances. Was it just her or was Irina more rebellious than she imagined?

"Your condition," Ria began, trying to soften the topic as much as she could, "is it terminal or anything?"

Irina chuckled lightly.

"It's not fatal or anything, so calm down." Irina assured them, "I just grew up so afraid of everything that might hurt me, that could possibly impede my dreams and I guess…"

"You lost track of everything else?"

"Yeah. My disease isn't fatal, but my fear of loss and failure made me feel like it was."

Irina sighed to herself, gaze falling deep into her own thoughts.

"I know downtown because I frequented it before. I would run away there to get a glimpse of a world I knew—or at least, I felt like I knew—I would never experience. Then I buried that knowledge so deep inside myself I could deny it existed to my own subconscious."

"So you mastered lying to yourself?" Mar asked, pressing her further. He had a habit of doing that now.

Irina laughed bitterly. "Haa. Yeah, basically. I mastered fooling myself out of my own curiosity but faking my desires so much I got lost on which lies I told myself."

The four of them fell silent, letting the winds do the talking as they were enveloped by harmony again. Irina stared at the stream quietly, almost as though the waters would provide her the answers to the predicament she sought so desperately.

"in the end, failure wasn't my greatest enemy after all. It was time. All the moments I wasted running away from the world left me bereft of the chance to experience it." the brunette sighed, "I guess, in that sense, I failed still, huh?"

"What was it, then?" Lucas asked, frustration and determination mingling in his voice. What was he up to this time? "What were the things you wanted to experience? The things you think you failed in?"

Irina locked gazes with him, bewildered azure eyes meeting resolute hazels. "…Why?"

Lucas groaned in annoyance, scratching his head in an attempt to possibly hide the creeping blush on his cheeks. "You said time was your enemy, right? Well, you haven't run out of it yet, have you? If you want to experience the world you missed out on…"

The brunette's eyes glimmered as she realized the intent of Lucas' words.

"What are you standing around for? You have us, we'll walk you through it all, together."

"Fear, huh..." Mar whispered lowly, eyes fixated on the ice cream Lucas had treated them all earlier, as part of his mischievous little scheme into getting Irina to experience the outside world.

Although, the whole ordeal didn't come off as easily as any of them hoped, even with the teary-eyed speech the raven-haired bot had given them earlier. Despite his protests, Irina had argued with him tirelessly about "balanced diets" and "unhealthy and improper nutritional habits" among a great many ideals she seemed to have thrown out the window the moment she tasted the sugary delight.

It was nice to see her loosening up more. Mar would think at that moment. It was nice to see them all so comfortable with one another. So free, so devoid of anxieties and worries and...

Fear. It invaded Mar's thoughts again, like a crawling plague that never seemed to be cured no matter how he dealt with it. It was like a leech, attaching itself to his thoughts and his mind until there was nothing left but the constant absence of everything else.

It wasn't surprising for Mar at all, to learn how Irina had begun fearing the world outside of her grasp, of all she wanted to experience—but most of all, the possibility that for all her yearning, she might fail to achieve what she desired. It wasn't surprising at all, considering it was that emotion that drew him to Irina.

For once, he felt a kindred spirit. A fellow individual who struggled with something so deeply ingrained in who they are, the only way to be rid of it was to remove themselves as well.

Because fear, for someone like him, was endless. It felt like a routine to him now, the fear of everything in the world and all it could do to him.

But what drowned out all these fears was a terror he had concocted on his own. The fear of who he was. The fear of what he would become.

"Feeble. Feeble. Feeble." the voice had called out to him that night. It was a miracle he could keep his composure as it haunted his thoughts amid his graduation speech, yet he stood strong for one of the few moments he had no choice but to do so. And mostly because whatever the voice had told him was nothing new for him to hear.

"Weak. Craven. Wimp. Coward."

These were just a few of the many words Mar had gotten used to hearing from himself, like an echo in his mind that would never end.

And now, Irina had found a way, had found people who were willing to help her overcome the fear she had planted so deep into her character. And it was nice, really. It was fantastic to see someone like her, someone so deserving of all the happiness despite her hurts, finally bloom into what she had dreamed.

But what of people like him? What of people whose fears are buried so far into who they are, the relationship had grown symbiotic with the fear he was meant to revile? What of people who were so trapped in their own horrors that the idea of ever escaping the box they had shut themselves on was impossible? What of people who were made to be too afraid to dream?

"Mar!" Ria frantically shook the shoulder of the smaller man, trying hard to wake him from the daydream that clouded his thoughts.

"Ah..." he shook out of it, finally. Ria sighed in relief. "Apologies, I was in deep thought. Were you asking something?"

"Nothing!" Ria assured, "I was just wondering if you were okay. You've been a little out of it since we left downtown."

"Yeah, you got something going on?" Lucas added crassly, positioning himself on the headrest of the bench Mar had sat on.

From his position, it felt like he was going through a thorough interrogation. Irina had quietly positioned himself beside Mar, eyes still glittering from bliss but curious nonetheless.

"So, what's your deal?"

"Ahh... My life isn't as interesting as you imagine." Mar replied, sweating visibly under the stares of three curious gazes.

"Well, you all insisted on butting in my life, so it's nice to do the same," Lucas argued, pointing the tip of the ice cream cone in mock threat. "Talk."

"B-But..." Mar stuttered, trailing off. He sighed deeply, all manner of thoughts plaguing his mind, but most of all, the hesitation to welcome their unwelcome presence in their thoughts. "I'm..."

"A coward?" Lucas completed, getting impatient. Which of course, earned him a kick on the shin from both Irina and Ria.

"Yeah." Mar agreed, much to everyone's surprise.

Well, if there was a moment, to be honest, he might as well do it now. There'll probably be little chances for it any time soon.

"But unlike you," he faced Irina, "I'm not afraid of the outside world. What I'm afraid of is..."

He gestured to his chest.

"Here. Myself."

The three stared at him, awaiting an explanation Mar was even more hesitant to provide. Was it really okay to tell them this? Or is this too much for a bunch of strangers he only met through a mysterious voice?

"Speak. It might be the only chance you have." the voice had whispered into his head just now, gentle but sincere in its words. Mar felt himself sink into the seat in a growing concern.

Finally, he resigned himself and spoke again, "I'm afraid of becoming something. A person, a concept, an ideal, a character I can't even determine what now. But growing up, I felt so afraid I would become something horrendous."

"Why?"

"Because I feel that way. I feel like some part of me has been inherently afraid of my own dreams and ambitions and of moving further into the world that..."

"You resigned to cower in fear for anything that could make you greater than you are?"

"I'd rather sink lower into failure than feel the fear of being taken so high into the world I can't see the ground anymore. Because then, I would truly feel horrendous."

The four of them exchanged glances, but it was only Irina who had fixed her gaze on Mar's sullen ones, hazel eyes refusing to face them in shame.

"But is that what you want, Mar?" Irina interjected, leaning closer until Mar had no choice but to face her completely. "Are you okay with stagnancy? Do you want to stay in place as the world revolves just because you're afraid of what you could become?"

"Resignment isn't stag—"

"Yes, it is!" Irina argued, this time glaring hard. "How would you ever know that you would become horrendous by trying something new if you never do? Do you simply wanna be stuck in a state of limbo between your fears and your dreams?"

The setting sun painted golden hues over the shocked expression Mar held. He felt himself drawn away for a moment, like a thousand needles pricking his skin had been removed in one fell swoop. For once, the world felt real to him, and not some surrealistic simulation of what he had made it out to be.

"Haa.." Lucas sighed, "What a pain. Hey, Marlon."

"Hm?"

"Wanna go ride on my motorcycle? Consider it the first step into trying something new."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

And the four of them erupted in laughter. It was a slow process, but Lucas seemed to be determined—or downright pushy—enough to make it work. Ria could feel something warm fill her chest, at the sight of three people laughing splendidly...and the feeling of being welcome again.

"But do you really deserve to be this happy? Do you really deserve to share their smiles?"

No. No no no no no, not again.

"Can someone like Ria Carter, betrayed and betrayer, really have friends?"

#euphonia of a thousand winds

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euphoniaofathousandwinds · 3 years ago

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Winter dandelions!

#🌼

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euphoniaofathousandwinds · 3 years ago

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CHAPTER 1 - THE VOICE

"As fragments of the legends in immemorial skies…"

"…ver! Mr. Denver!" a sharp voice called out, shaking the girl out of her reverie. But it wasn't her that was beckoned by the teacher's words, but rather her seatmate, who was also being cradled by Hypnos in the middle of their Physics class.

The teacher sighed, removing his glasses to massage the bridge of his nose in resignation. The boy in question, Lucas Denver, yawned lightly as he rose from slumber, not at all minding the distressing gazes his classmates were shooting at him.

"Mr. Denver, if you have ample time for reckless stunts in downtown, at least lend some of it for listening to class." the teacher pleaded, "save us both the trouble of having to see each other again next year."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll definitely remember your words, Miss Austin…" he replied, obviously missing the fact that the teacher was neither a Miss nor their doe-eyed Literature teacher.

The whole class nearly erupted in laughter, had the teacher not glared at them all into silence. "Haa, well. At least prepare for later, you'll be rehearsing your graduation ceremony over at Kairos' Hill."

And the bulk of the classroom shared a groan. It was always a bit of trouble to climb the hill for every school-wide event, and no one enjoyed getting themselves dirty only to listen to the same spiels over and over again.

Never mind that everyone already knew who the belle of the figurative ball was going to be.

"At least leave some good memories in your high school before you run off to chase your dreams, hm?"

And with that, the bell rang. The teacher's words fell on deaf ears for many but rang rather painfully in the thoughts of a few.

'Yeah, right'. She would think to herself, feeling as though the teacher's words were a personal affront to her character. After all, for the people who had nothing good or memorable in their high school lives, what were they supposed to do? Were they meant to simply suck it up and push themselves into the shadows, for everyone else to shine?

Well, the honest answer is yes. That much was reality for people like her, after all.

"All third-year students…" the intercom screeched, drowning out bits and pieces of the message in the messy transmission, "..ceed to Kairos' Hill. All third-year students…"

And there goes what could have been a peaceful evening at home. Dozens of students lined up to trek towards Kairos' Hill, a central vantage point in their isolated town. It was where they held all things, weddings, festivals, and in this instance, graduation ceremonies for the third year of Tetrasa High School.

Of course, it was the same as every year they had trekked this mountain to hear the same spiel, listen to the same song, and witness the same students receiving their accolades and growing further into what the school dreams they would become.

"Is it jealousy, then? Do you wish to be in the spotlight too? To not be forgotten?"

Ria could feel a sharp pain in her temple, a seething voice piercing through from who-knows-where. She fidgeted from her seat, shaking lightly as the voice threatened to continue.

"Don't you hear it? That voice?" Ria asked her seatmate, desperate to see if she was the only one being harassed by unwelcome inputs from an unknown channel.

"…voice? What voice? Have you finally lost it, Carter?" the girl beside her accused, gaze twisting in defensive confusion. "If you have, leave me out of it. It's the middle of the night, and we're stuck at this horrid hill rehearsing. At least tell the teacher to let you go home if you plan on snapping."

"Forgotten. Forgotten. You're forgotten. How sad, it must hurt you so much. Not only to be betrayed but to be abandoned and outcasted with nothing but the company of broken promises from old friends."

Ria groaned, feeling her fingers numb and her head spin in disgust. The voice continued to twist in spite and mockery, adding further to the weight of the scornful looks being thrown her way. Was she the only one hearing this? Why her, anyway?

"Because you're the most pained of them all." the voice replied, distressing her further than ever.

"What's her deal? Can't she just be quiet like she always does?"

"Auditory hallucination or something, she says she's hearing voices."

"Maybe she finally lost it?"

"That's what I said! Anyway, I'm more surprised she can hear anything over Lancaster's pretentious speech."

Silence. Silence. Silence. Not even her inner voice could drown out the cacophony of insults and impugnment being thrown at her, as though the mocking looks from the outside weren't enough.

"Well, it doesn't seem like you're completely forgotten, seeing as they have the breath to waste in insulting you. But is this the memory you want to leave? Poor, wretched, little Ria Carter, exiled and forgotten by the people she had trusted the most. Taken for granted, then tossed away. It must be hard for you, the crippling, unending loneliness you locked yourself in. Oh, it must hurt you so so much."

The voice stressed the last few words in humiliating sarcasm, and Ria could feel the delight seep into its voice as it saw the debilitation the words caused her.

Ugh, enough!

"Miss Carter, you can head home now. We'll have your guardian pick you up—"

"No need," the girl cut her off. "Thank you, Miss Austin. I appreciate it, but I think I'll walk home, maybe it'll help clear my head."

The auburn-haired teacher pressed her lips together in surprise but nodded in agreement nonetheless. "Still, head home soon. We'll be wrapping up here too, apparently, Miss Lancaster is under the weather as well."

And with that, Ria Carter began the slow trek down Kairos' Hill. Clearing her head wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. Since she left the graduation venue, the voices had slowly dissipated and her headache had gone away, save a few lingering pains. But that wasn't sufficient assurance that she wouldn't be hearing them again.

What was that voice anyway? And why did it feel so haunting to hear? How come she was the only one who could hear them? Why was the voice so hell-bent on making a fool out of her? These were only a small amount of the many questions that filled Ria's mind.

But her thoughts ended as she heard a groan come from somewhere behind the bushes.

"W-Who's there?" she stuttered defensively, moving away from the bush and further into the path. Ria grabbed a fallen branch, fashioning it into a makeshift weapon.

"Ugh, it's just me." then came the figure of Lucas Denver, a familiar face. "Maybe, put that away now?"

Aha. The girl threw away the stick, a feeling of embarrassment covering her for her own paranoia. It wasn't her fault really, you try being terrorized by a voice for the next few minutes, and see if it doesn't make you a little too anxious.

"They sent you home too?" Too? Could that mean…

"Hey, Denver…"

"Lucas, I have a name."

"Sure," she brushed aside, feeling a build-up of suspicion grow inside her, "why were you sent home?"

Lucas arched a brow, hesitation pooling in his eyes as he kept his gaze locked intently onto Ria's surefire greens. Finally, his eyes lit up in realization.

"My head was throbbing…" he replied lowly, making sure the next words wouldn't reach any unwilling eavesdroppers, "…and I was hearing strange voices."

"Aha! I knew it!" Ria beamed, exclaiming loudly. Lucas shushed her, but even that was left ignored. "I wasn't freaking out! You heard them too!"

"The more you actually say it like that, the more I believe it was just the both of us going off the deep end."

"Fine, whatever." Ria chided, eyes rolling. It was enough to be assured that she wasn't the only one who heard the voices. But…if the voices she heard were making a mockery of her exile, then what would it have to say for a devil-may-care person like Lucas?

"If you're gonna ask what I heard, you can save it. I…have no intention of telling you." And there ends that, I suppose. Ria didn't want to push further, and the information wasn't really relevant to her in the long run. "Also, if you're going down the hill that way, you'll reach the foot by sunrise. Here."

Lucas led her to a dirt path near the bushes he was hiding in, which was a faster, although less safe-looking way down the landform. Of course, that much was to be expected from someone like him, who looked rather pleased with what he was showing.

The two of them silently went down the path together, sharing nothing but the silence in the winds. However, in moments like these, silence doesn't last very long.

"Save me! HELP! SAVE ME!" a high-pitched voice screamed, shaking some of the birds in the trees in surprise. "HELP ME!"

The two locked eyes for a moment and ran towards the cry for help. The voice only grew louder and more desperate as they sprinted closer to the source.

"What the…"

The image of a classmate, struggling to gain a foothold in the waters and calling for help was not what either had expected. In a fit of panic, Lucas dove into the stream to rescue the other party.

And in this instance, 'dove' is a bit of an overstatement, considering the raven-haired boy only fell face-first into a body of water that wasn't even deep enough to reach his chest. Annoyed, he pulled up the supposed 'drowning victim', landing him on his feet.

"Oh. It wasn't that deep…" Ria realized, holding back a bit of a chuckle at the overreaction from all of them.

"At least cry that loud if you're actually drowning!" Lucas scratched his head, feeling a growing annoyance in him.

"Eep! Sorry…" the smaller man yelped, cowering slightly at the other's words. The moonlight glimmered at the exact moment Ria was able to recognize their new companion.

"You're Marlon, right? From 3-A."

"Ah…You recognized me, heh." the boy nodded, flinching slightly in surprise. "I a-apologize if I don't recognize you, I have a hard time remembering faces."

Ria doubts she'd be remembered either way. "Ria Carter, from 3-C. Your would-be savior's name is Lucas Denver, my classmate."

The brown-haired boy bowed fully, "Ah! Thank you for saving me!"

"From what? The tadpoles?"

The three of them laughed softly. It didn't take long for Ria to question some parts of their meeting that didn't really add up.

Marlon, if her memory serves right, was the 3rd in ranking and should probably be with Lancaster up the hill. So what was he doing here, nearly drowning in a shallow stream?

"Hey, Marlon, was it?" The other nodded, allowing Lucas to continue, "were you sent down because of a headache too?"

The way her classmate had stressed the word caused a bolt of cognizance to hit the other. "Yeah, a headache."

When Marlon didn't elaborate, it felt to the two of them that it was merely coincidental. Perhaps it was just luck that they caught Marlon feeling out of it alongside the mysterious voices they heard.

"You heard them too, huh? The voices." And there it goes.

Lucas brought him up to speed on the events that transpired in their heads during the graduation rehearsal, although he was still vigilant in keeping out the key bits and pieces of what went on in his head a secret.

"I'm surprised…" Marlon, or as he preferred to be called Mar, remarked. "I thought it was just me who heard them, no one believed me either."

"I honestly wouldn't blame them. If I didn't hear them, I would've called you a nut too if you suddenly told me you were hearing weird voices on Kairos' Hill."

"Aww… But I'm somewhat glad it's not just m—EEEEEE!" And there goes Mar, slipping down the dirt path only minutes after he was told to watch his step. It was almost comical.

Almost, until at the foot of the path, the three of them were greeted with yet another unexpected encounter.

"Oh. Hello." The brunette waved lightly, her pale visage shimmering in the moonlight.

"Irina? What are you doing down here?" Mar asked, wincing in pain as he rubbed away the sore parts of his joints. It wasn't as though Lancaster made an effort to catch or break her classmate's fall.

"Ah…" she trailed off, almost a little apprehensive to say a word in front of Ria and Lucas. "They sent me down because I wasn't feeling well. My parents should be here by now, but they're running late due to traffic."

Lucas and Ria locked gazes, the same thought running through their head.

"Did she hear the voices too?"

But their thoughts were cut off by Mar's words. "Ah, a headache too? It seems a lot of us are feeling under the weather nowadays."

"Mhm~" the girl replied, smiling languidly. "The temperature up in the hill is much colder than below, so I'm not surprised a lot of us couldn't acclimate to it completely."

"It must have been harder for you, considering how sickly you are. You should be careful, Irina."

The girl flinched.

Neither Lucas nor Ria could tell if the exchange was of genuine concern or beckoning mockery. Mar danced around the topic of the voices, purposely avoiding them as though he was waiting for the opportune moment to strike. Irina was slipping through with gentle words and distracting remarks, but anyone could easily notice how she tipped the topic away from her health.

"So, did you hear them too?" Lucas interrupted, annoyed at the ongoing dialogue filled with nothing but empty praises and false pretenses. "The voices."

Irina backed slightly in shock, searching for a clear enough answer to slip away again, but faltering. She composed herself slowly, breathing deeply to fan her nerves. "Yes. I heard my version of what you heard too."

And now that was a surprise. If even Irina Lancaster, the school's radiant star, was being plagued by these tediously impugned voices, then the issue had become concerning, no? After all, Irina was all that was important, and her words were absolute.

"If you're insulting me in your head, you should know that no one believed me either. That's why I'm down here, being sent away."

Ria felt a blush creep at her cheeks, seeing how Irina had guessed exactly what she was thinking so fluidly.

"I don't think we've met," the girl extended her hand, smiling softly. "Irina Lancaster. Nice to meet you."

"Ria Carter, I'm from 3-C." Well, this was a surprising exchange. Ria never imagined she'd find herself speaking to Irina Lancaster of all people. Well, she didn't exactly fancy finding herself being haunted by mocking voices in her mind either.

"Lucas Denver, excuse me. It'd be better if we trekked down now before it gets too dark to see anything."

Ria followed suit, glancing at Mar who had stayed behind by a bit to explain the situation to Irina, like a long game of pass the message. Although, that was the least of their concerns at this moment.

"There you are." The voice called out again, this time in unison within their minds.

The four of them exchanged looks of concern, feeling the winds encase them as the voice grew louder.

"Forgotten. Foolish. Feeble. Frail. What becomes of you now?"

And the voices began again, a cacophony of endless, tiresome insults that stacked upon each other. But this time, it was not only their own agony they experienced but all of theirs.

"…rejected, abandoned, denied…"

"…will you play the fool until it ends your life?"

"Coward, coward, you coward!"

"…do you even remember what it feels to be alive?"

And in the discordant mixture of voices, they sought salvation. They sought silence. They sought the gentle echo that offered them a lifeline in their suffering.

"Come forward, young ones." The voice drowned out all others, so warm and saccharine, a comfort to their minds.

"Come forward, if you seek to find who you truly are."

#euphonia of a thousand winds

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