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reblog if you need a hug

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mind if i just *turns on the lights*

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takezai terunosuke as kijima rio, 2018.

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fuckin dorks <3

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kijima is a capricorn and kuzumi is a taurus, y’all

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<3

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but kijima is a dramatic bitch (affectionate) with a nicotine addiction and kuzumi is all time best boi and i think they belong together, honestly

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highlights from the viki live comments on the novelist

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a selection of blurry action shots 

courtesy of the man, the myth, the legend himself

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very cool and sexy of kijima rio to have a character arc that encompasses every lana del rey album

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I absolutely love how they nailed this specific writer mood with Kijimas character in Pornographer. He’s this depressed, odd, introverted man who writes smut for a living but struggles hard to manage his real relationships and his own feelings.

I got the impression that he’s kind of afraid of being happy and to let people near him (emotionally). But he is also wondering if happy people even have the need of reading / writing novels. And that’s such a real thing I often hear from writer or other artists. Since it’s usually a way to vent or flee reality. “Art never comes from happiness” is a quote I read some years ago and I see that with a lot of people and even with myself. Tbh I sometimes think that way too… can I still be creative when I am not depressed, where do I get the energy and motivation if I am not miserable enough to use creativity as an outlet? Maybe that’s why I like Kijima that much, he’s relatable if you are a depressed, weirdo and artist / writer. 

But I also like his whole charisma. The way he moves and talks… I don’t know, am I the only one? Even though he is a masculine presenting man, he reminds me of a woman sometimes. But in a very subtle, classy way. Especially when he’s flirting or being seductive (or in bed, besides the fact that he’s a bottom). It’s an interesting characteristic, since he is a gay man who writes hetero erotic novels but mainly from a female characters POV or very centered on the female characters behavior and body.

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kijima rio vs. touch starvation - an analysis [mood indigo, episodes I and II]

[long read under the cut] [spoilers!]

kijima rio is possibly the most enigmatic of the leading three; both mood indigo and the novelist focus on him, but neither are from his point of view. so his character has to be developed for us through the eyes of another. now one of the running themes in both series is physical touch. bl series in general tend to milk every moment when the main couple touch each other--slow motion, romantic music, prolonged eye contact, the works--but these two series forgo the special effects in favor of a more realistic filming style. they make so much less of it that it seems to mean more. this is a very good choice in kijima's case because touch, both the way he initiates it and the way he reacts, is a key insight to his character.

in the interest of chronological cohesion, we will start where the story proper starts, with mood indigo. kido and kijima meet essentially as strangers--kido has few and vague memories of kijima from their school days, while kijima at least professes not to remember kido at all. they soon fit themselves into one another's lives by necessity rather than desire. the first time they share any physical contact is after kido has suggested the possibility of kijima's writing erotica to pay the bills and kijima has refused him point-blank, near the end of the first episode. kido gives kijima's arm a friendly slap on his way past to get a beer. we do not see it happen, but we see kijima's face shift subtly from outrage to a strange despondency, even though the camera follows kido to the fridge. he seems lost, folding into himself under the weight of bleak uncertainty, for the rest of the episode. in the narration, kido says "i wanted to mess him up," but as we watch kijima we wonder whether there is anything more kido can do.

they touch casually a few more times after that, but the next encounter that changes the course of their story happens during the second episode. it becomes clear that kijima is still grieving both his father and the relationship they never had. he has spent the day drinking himself into oblivion and he is a wreck, all his defenses down, when he crumples into kido's chest and cries. kido is understandably taken aback; kijima has never sought comfort from him before. so he doesn't offer comfort, not really, beyond a tentative hand on kijima's shoulder, but he sits still and lets kijima take what he can get. (progress?) the next morning, a wretchedly hungover kijima is sitting in front of breakfast kido made--possibly the first real food he’s eaten in months--when we see him fall in love. it isn’t a happy moment but it’s there. i firmly believe that the moment kijima realizes he’s being taken care of, the way he feels about kido begins to affect the way he lives his life. for better or worse, there is no going back.

the next encounter makes for an interesting examination. kijima is shocked and hurt that kido would promise him as an apprentice to mr. gamouda without consulting him first and says so. kido, with one eye on a transfer to kyodensha and a reconciliation with his girlfriend, tries to convince him in any way possible. now we have to remember how their individual experiences of the story differ here; as far as kijima knows, they have only really touched each other casually so far. their physical relationship, so far as it goes, is firmly platonic, regardless of the change in his feelings. kido, on the other hand, spent an evening with drunk kijima practically in his lap on the bathroom floor, so the touch barrier is a little further down on his end. yet he has given no indication that he sees kijima as anything more than a friend. so when he seizes kijima’s hand in both his own and begs him to give the apprenticeship a chance, he is still only asking, but kijima reads this gesture as an immediate and irrevocable shift in their relationship. he is already in love. i don’t think it is too far-fetched to assume that kido’s touch gives kijima the faintest wisp of hope that maybe kido might someday be in love with him too. and of course kijima is not used to hope, and he doesn’t know what to do. is it any wonder that by the end of the episode he is willing to do anything, anything at all, to get kido what he knows kido wants?

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and you’re fire, but sweet

published: 2021-06-11 | completed: 2021-06-15 chapters: 2 | words: 6618 explicit - - - - - - - - - -

"Kuzumi-kun, are you trying to seduce me?"

Kuzumi paused, inches away from the waistband of Kijima’s briefs, and looked up. Kijima was looking down at him quizzically. But there was a new tension in the room, a different tempo in their breathing, a sense of no turning back. Kijima’s soft voice was almost hoarse. Kuzumi had to bite the inside of his cheek to take the edge of his arousal before saying, “Is that all right with you?”

Kijima took off his glasses, folded them up with a click, and placed them on the nightstand. Then he reached down and took Kuzumi’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Kiss me.”

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