everwaft - Tumblr blog

[everwaft]

Mommy rap

I entertain you

Sustain you

Wild and untame you

Behave you

Crave you

Run to and away you...

Pull all my heartstrings

And push all my buttons

Used to be nothing

But now you're sure somethin.

You are my anxiety

But also my stress relief

I give you Cheerios,

You knock down dominos.

Spinning and screaming

And laughing and farts

Growing so slow

And so fast all at once.

Making life is crazy

Never cease to amaze me

A hundred "no's" to a "yes"

Whew, I really am blessed.

🎤: Andrea Johnson 5/22/2022

[everwaft]

Felix's birth poem

I thought this baby would come sooner than the first.

I suppose technically he did,

By one day…

With a due date of February 27th

Twenty-twenty-one

I kept gestating til 41 plus 1.

I was told he would likely be 10 pounds.

That estimation was out of bounds.

Weighing 8 pounds and 12 ounces

Of dark luscious hair and beautiful softness.

From my first cervical check at 37 weeks til my last doctor appointment date,

My cervix did not change from 1cm and 50-60% effaced.

I was told he had a pillow of water under his head

So there wasn't enough pressure to make labor go ahead.

After that, I took Jasper to the park and wiggled while I watched him play.

I did lunges on a bench and curb-walked that day.

I came home and did hip rolls and rotations on my exercise ball.

And after 3am, marital relations came to call.

At 4am, I had some spotting and began with early labor pains.

I tried to get as much rest as I could, seeming to dream of labor day.

The next day I went about the day as usual--caring for Jasper, doing laundry, making tea.

I warned my Mom this could be the day, but we would surely see.

I stopped timing my contractions around lunch as it was a busy time

They didn't seem to be progressing and I felt pretty fine.

I tried to put Jasper down for a failed nap and when I stood upright,

The contractions seemed to intensify, 5:30 seemed the time.

I labored for a while, Mith keeping me company.

I sat on the toilet a bit til it was plain to see

That I should tell Jesse it may be time to gear up

I laid down and texted mom and then I felt a "pop"!

I told mom to rush this way and called the doctor fast

I never got a call back, but there was no time to waste.

I got back on the toilet, worried I'd have the baby there

I hollered up to Jesse who had posters to prepare.

He said that he was nearly done and I was thinking the same!

He finally came down the stairs and began to load up our things.

We started to leave our driveway when Mom gave me a call--

Did we want her to meet us at our house or at the hospital?

Hospital! I proclaimed, but then I called her back

I told her to just come to our house, no need to backtrack.

She soon arrived and gathered Jasper, his car seat, and bag

It seemed like an eternity to me, though, laboring through the lag.

Finally we set off, but now we didn't remember

If it was too late to enter the main entrance or if we'd need to go to ER

I tried calling the phone number google had online

Unfortunately it would not ring, only beeping and screeching chimes

Jesse found another number and was able to get through

Luckily the main entrance was still open so that's where we went to

He drove up to the doors and got me a wheelchair

Pushed me up to triage, which is a bit of a blur.

We answered some questions and at 7:55 they took me back

Jesse left to move the van and grab the bags.

She stripped me naked, hooked me up to monitors and checked my dilation

Hospital gown, 8 centimeters, and rushed me to the next station.

I arrived to my very own delivery room

Switched beds and my gown fell off but I didn't see my groom.

They tried to insert an IV line, failing twice

So many people buzzing around me asking questions multiple times

Someone thought I'd be more comfortable lying on my back

If I hadn't been in transitional labor I would have laughed.

Jesse finally arrived, though at what point I am not sure

I leaned against the head of the bed on my knees to endure

Contractions were happening too fast to get my bearings

Jesse rubbed my back and told me sweet nothings.

They checked me once again as my body was slightly wanting to push

They told me to try and hold off because there was still a little to accomplish.

I just did what my body wanted to do, I wasn't going to fight it.

I felt the baby's head descending, stinging the front of my vagina.

Jesse requested that they find me a squat bar

No squat bar was found, near or far

After about 20 minutes, so I'm told, Felix was finally born at 8:47

Welcome to the world, my little slice of heaven.

What a relief when the placenta was born

The afterpains seemed more intense this time and through the morn.

I didn't recall my nethers hurting this bad either, and while I was getting stitched

I felt a few pokes in the spots the lidocaine missed.

Cue the post partum shakes, but I felt much better this time

The flurry of busy-ness cleared the room and there was peace and quiet.

[everwaft]

Jasper’s birth poem

On October 5th you were “due”

To be born, brand spankin’ new.

You did not come on that day, or the next

When would you be born? Mommy was perplexed.

On the 8th, contractions tightened every 5 minutes

Mommy wasn’t sure if these were the start of it.

Once again, you stayed inside

People began looking at Mommy cockeyed.

Overdue? Not true. “He’ll come when he’s ready,” Mommy said

The tests--USS, FH, NST--all great, they read.

The doctor checked for signs of dilation

Mommy later lost her plug from his rough exploration.

On October 12th evening contractions were more than tight

They woke Mommy up every couple hours all night.

Mommy kept quiet so Daddy could sleep

Both of us needn’t become deprived and weak.

The next day’s contractions, though not very consistent,

Continued through the day, they were insistent.

Around 4pm Daddy made a yummy treat

But Mommy no longer had a desire to eat.

Mommy rose from the couch and all of a sudden

Contractions came frequent and began to toughen.

Mommy called the doctor, Daddy snapped a picture, and we grabbed the bag

Bound for the hospital, no time to lag.

A third of an hour we spent on our way

Breathing through contractions, this could be B-Day.

We parked in the lot around 7:30

Traveled through minutes, pausing about every 3.

Triage was full,

A woman clearly not in labor was ahead of us too.

Mommy stood waiting, clammily

While the woman sat, laughing with her family.

About 30 minutes trudged by then we finally went back

Mommy peed in a cup and climbed in the sack.

We watched the machine’s waves grow and decrease

3cm dilation did not bring Mommy peace.

Nevertheless we landed a room

Mommy made noises like “a-bah” and “a-boo”.

Back labor in between made Mommy exhausted

So when the sun came up Mommy laid in the dark and rested.

Several times Mommy had to get up to pee

She never wanted to move though because, you see--

Every time Mommy moved another contraction would crack

The contractions would stop Mommy dead in her tracks.

They checked Mommy and she was 8 centimeters

The waters broke loose with the nurse’s fingers.

It wasn’t much longer before 10cm came

Mommy pushed nearly 2 hours leaning on a V-frame.

The nurse got the squat bar for a change of pace

And then you were coming as fast as a race!

The doctor barely had time to get his hands dressed

Your head felt like an icecream cone, then you were laid on Mommy’s chest.

Your placenta came after, it was healthy too--

Mommy asked the doctor to give her a view.

Your cord wasn’t cut til it turned white as snow.

Because you got all your blood, you had a wholesome glow.

9 days past 40 weeks

9 pounds 2 ounces, 22 inches head to feet.

October 14th 5:29pm began this new chapter

A son was born, his name is Jasper.

After all of the excitement, the stiches, cries, and cuddles

Mommy went to the bathroom to get cleaned up, but struggled--

Mommy told the nurse she wasn’t feeling great.

The nurse got there in time for Mommy to doubly faint.

They wheeled Mommy back to the hospital bed,

Daddy was crying, Mommy accidentally pooped the bedspread.

2 bedpans later and some painful uterus-mashing,

Mommy was pushed to a new room for crashing.

Daddy changed all of your diapers that night

Mommy was tired, sore, needing a bite.

Daddy slept horribly on the room’s pull out bed

So Mommy sent him home to get rested instead.

Despite you being perfectly well

The hospital didn’t release you til the night after hell

Mommy was alone and you were very unhappy

The sleep that we got was very crappy.

Daddy came and got us on Tuesday, 16th

They wheeled us downstairs, people looked and they winked.

Daddy pulled the car ‘round and we had quite a time

The car seat was tricky but we figured it out in the valet line.

We finally brought you home and Mommy battled anxiety

Especially at night when sleep was a dubiety.

The first 4 days were especially bad

But time progressed, and things got better a tad.

[everwaft]

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Happy first day of autumn ❣️ 🍂🍃🍁

[everwaft]

Trying

I try to be brave

Try to remind myself I'm blessed everyday

Keeping a dry face can be so hard

When the feelings pour like blood from a jar

I try to be strong

Lifting my chin up, telling myself I can go on

So much effort not succumbing to fatigue

Half the time pumped the other half lost all intrigue

Rolling with the punches but my wheel is a square

Trying to balance all my covet with at least as much care

It's hard to get out of my head since that's where I live

Fashioning my feelings into defensive shivs

Hopscotch on the line between a good day and bad

When the punching is over all that's left are the chads

Keeping a smile on this face is all I can try

If the power button's broken then you're stuck on standby

One thing forgotten, as is easy to do

Waiting on God to answer prayers old and new

Counting down the months, maybe years soon

Until the egg meets with the spermatozoon

-Andrea Johnson, sometime around January 2018

[everwaft]

Preservation

What am I?

Just a consuming mass

Of wastefulness

Waiting for my chance to

Rot

In whatever piece of land

Remains untouched

Why should my decrepit

Body be preserved

For 1 or 2 days

Of human remembrance

To be put in a box

Never seen again?

Ridiculous.

-Andrea Johnson, sometime around January 2018

[everwaft]

Rules of New Baby Visitation

[everwaft]

One-Line test

My womb is barren

Of blossoming life

Instead, out slips crimson

Emptying with strife

A red sash many pray for

It strangles my heart

Indifference sometimes

I'm right back to the start

I churn out vermillion

I think and I'm tortured

Attending cotillion

Awaiting my fortune

Who knew 2 lines were so heavy,

3 minutes so long?

1 outcome so coveted,

4 weeks could go wrong?

I keep sowing my garden

I'm ready to reap

Nothing is growing

For this I weep

Love still lingers

Which is why there is pain

I'm not sure

I can do it all again

But here I am

With a meek request

It's not very easy

But I'll try my best

Some get and don't want

Some want and don't get

Many don't have to try

Worry or lament.

-Andrea Johnson, a few months back 2017

[everwaft]

Depo Provera: My Story

I was getting married, we didn’t want kids right away. My doctor asked me if I thought I could remember to take the pill every day; I chuckled and said probably not. I asked about the patch, doctor said it’s not best for skinny young women. That leaves the ring and the shot. I thought the shot seemed more convenient: go to the doctor’s office every 3 months for a shot and that’s it. No babies. You may gain a little weight. Your periods may cease. You shouldn’t stay on it for over 2 years, and make sure your diet is high in calcium and vitamin D because the shot takes a toll on your bones.

I was on the shot for 2 years and 4 months when I decided not to go back for another injection. I had gained 65 pounds, I hadn’t had a period since the beginning, I had headaches/migraines sometimes several times a week (coming from someone who hardly ever had headaches). I was a lump without much spirit or energy or desire. I got my first cavity in over 10 years! If I had but known about the Fertility Awareness Method of birth control; if I was given that information and that choice, I wonder what might have been. I probably would have had trouble convincing my husband that it was a viable method since it’s not taught in schools and not widely known or accepted. But I won’t know. Instead I am trying to regain my equilibrium after all of this and start over with a natural, enlightening, empowering form of body awareness I am so glad to have found. The more I learn, the more it makes so, so much sense. And my husband is wary, but he can deal.

It took me 6 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days to get a “period” after my last shot of depo. Even then, it wasn’t what I would consider normal for myself being 3 days short. My second “cycle” was even less so: four days short and extremely light. And that’s where I am now. Riding this wave out. Tata for now, you’ll see me when my body can sing its melody once again, and this time I’ll know the chords.

[everwaft]

Yoga is evil???

I saw an article in my news feed on Facebook...apparently, according to Catholics, Yoga is satanic. In 2011, the Vatican’s chief exorcist, Gabriele Amorth, said that yoga leads to a worship of Hinduism... “Practicing yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter,” he said (The Telegraph). I became a little disturbed and did a Google search. I found the photo shown below. If yoga is descended from Hindu worship, what would make anybody think that the hand symbols are going to be in English numerals? I did a little research and this mudra--called Dhyana--is meant to gesture balance and meditation.    “Others contend that yoga practice is really more focused on advanced stretching moves and physical exercise, and that it can bring about healing and improved well-being such as improved core strength, better circulation and reduced stress. The intent of the person doing yoga, rather than yoga itself, in other words, is what defines the extent of how the practice influences a person's being and soul.” (www.naturalnews.com)

I agree with the above quote, as one can find evil in most everything.

[everwaft]

My Funeral Playlist

In no particular order and subject to change… Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen Did I Ever Love You - Leonard Cohen Thank You For Loving Me - Bon Jovi I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston You’ll Be In My Heart - Phil Collins We Are One - Lion King 2 When You Believe - Prince Of Egypt He Lives In You - Lion King 2 Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo’Ole In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge Watch Over You - Alter Bridge Wonderful Life - Alter Bridge Wonderful - Everclear Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt Life Must Go On - Alter Bridge It’s Over (Goodbye) - Brad Fiedel Stayin’ Alive - BeeGees The Wonder of You - Elvis Presley My Chains Are Gone - Chris Tomlin I’ll Be Waiting - Michael Franti & Spearhead Give Me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath Wild Child - Enya You Are My Sunshine - The Rice Brothers Gang One Last Breath - Creed I Was Here - Beyonce If I Could Be Where You Are - Enya So I Could Find My Way - Enya I'll Be Seeing You - Billie Holiday Brother - Need To Breathe Will You Be There - Michael Jackson

[everwaft]

My dream flock

Blue eggs Cream Legbar Ameraucana

Dark Brown eggs Black Copper Marans Welsummer

Light Brown eggs Rhode Island Red Australorp Speckled Sussex Barred Plymouth Rock Wyandotte

White eggs Leghorn

Duck eggs Indian Runners (225-330 e/yr) - a little nervous; excellent mothers Campbell (Khaki) - placid; fair mothers Aylesburys (170 e/yr) - dual purpose; placid

http://www.sagehenfarmlodi.com/chooks/chooks.html

http://www.eggzy.net/breeds/index/page:1

http://www.mypetchicken.com/chicken-breeds/breed-list.aspx

http://www.backyardchickens.com/breeds/breed-chart

[everwaft]

Jungle Jail Celebrates 40 years of Pitchfork Management

I read the articles by local news broadcasts and I laugh...and I am disgusted. As a former cashier at Jungle Jim’s Eastgate, everything is not sunshine and roses as depicted. The methods, micromanaging, manipulation, neuroticism, the lack of employee appreciation, overabundance of negative consequences, lack of raises, and the stagnancy rule the place in the form of autocratic management. In an economy where jobs are hard to come by, the interview was a snap; a hungry fish was I, and I latched onto that worm hiding a very sharp barb. Jungle Jim’s detained me as a cashier for exactly one year. After trying for 4 months to change departments, I grew tired of the lies and promises meant to keep me content. I grew tired of trading complaints with my fellow cashiers because of the lack of confidence in upper management. I grew tired of the warnings and write-ups for petty things while getting ignored for hard work. I grew tired of feeling nauseous upon my daily drive in. So when I read things like “One thing that I’ve found sets this place apart is this feeling of family and community,“ and Jim Bonaminio’s philosophy is “We back people, we back young people that have energy, with new ideas. And we say...come aboard.“ what comes to mind is The Skeleton Key.

On the bright side, it is a cool place to shop.

[everwaft]

ASL: Signs to teach your baby

I am pretty unhappy with the things I can’t find on Pinterest or Google Images about signs to teach your baby--so I have compiled a list of useful vocabulary that form a basic communication between baby and you. After all, they can learn to sign language before they learn to speak it. Perhaps one day I’ll make a pictorial collage of these words for easy sharing. If you think something should be added, please leave it in the comments!

FAMILY: mom / dad / brother (boy) / sister (girl) / baby / grandma / grandpa FEEDING: hungry / thirsty / eat / drink / water / milk / food / more / finished EXPRESSIONS: potty / hurt / sick / happy / sad / angry / help / I love you / good / bad MANNERS: please / thank you / you're welcome / sorry / excuse me DIRECTIVES: clean up / bath time / bed time / be quiet / be careful / let's go / again / yes / no PLACES: home / inside / outside / here / there QUESTIONS: what / where / who / when / why / how / do you understand TIME: now / later / before / day / night

ALPHABET / learn / teach / applause

[everwaft]

This is a visual aid of all of the cameras I have used along my photographical journey so far.

[everwaft]

Event Quiz for uncooperative friends

1) Name: _______________________________ 2) What were you told to bring to this event? _______________________________________ 3) What do you plan on bringing? _______________________________________ 4) The answers to numbers 2 and 3 match:               True                  False 5) If your answer for number 4 was false, you should:      a) ignore number 2      b) bring nothing      c) call the event coordinator      d) die      e) invite more people and hope they bring something, anything 6) Why is it important to bring what you're asked to bring? (Hint: "I brought the green bean casserole!") __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 7) Do you believe in life after love?      a) yes      b) no      c) i can feel something inside me say, "I really don't think you're strong enough." if you think more questions should be added, leave them in the comments!

[everwaft]

The Burnsides + $ + Ruslan = Bringing him home

Love is a story

Written by time and acceptance,

Nurtured by care

And patience,

Exposed by attachment

And a joyful heart.

So what do you do then, when one that you love is 14 hours away...BY FLIGHT? You try raising the money you need to bring that person home. It is a difficult and daunting task. You have to market your family's importance, because what are we but an inconspicuous dot in a sea of billions? There are always causes. There are too many, actually. Someone will always need help. But someone will always be able to help, even if in the smallest of ways. $1 donated is one less that you will need, and in a sea of billions, $1 from each person would make you a wealthy man (woman!). So an orphan in Ukraine needs to be home with the loving Burnside family and they need more funds to make that happen. Will you help?

For more information, please visit:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BringingHerHome

Wordpress: http://bringingzhanahome.wordpress.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xpw2Q0e1rjU

and to Donate: http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/ruslan-v-burnside-family-adoption-fund/84903

http://www.gofundme.com/3sy8so