every-captain - Tumblr blog

every-captain · 2 hours

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Large girlfriend makes the best canvas

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every-captain · 2 hours

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I was gonna write a tag essay on my last post, but its easier to TW if I dont write it out in the tags. But anyway, my doctor told me to watch my cholesterol cuz its pretty high. Having high cholesterol actually explained a LOT of the health issues I was experiencing and so I've been pretty good about keeping an eye on it.

I'm actually really proud of myself for not getting TOO intense about it though. Usually when I "diet" i GO ON A DIET and I have tons of rules and I'm counting everything and I'm going all in. Here I am just casually keeping an eye on the cholesterol I'm consuming and its been....totally fine. No craziness. I dont feel like I'm failing or going to binge or like I've fucked up and have to start over because I ate some fried eggs today or whatever.

I work in a coffee shop and we get free food, and I eat that stuff every day. So I identified what kinds of food had lower cholesterol levels and I've been eating those. There's a vegan sandwich we have that actually slaps severely and it really hasnt been any issue to eat that or like... a carrot muffin or a vegan chocolate chip cookie, instead of a croissant or something.

I switched my cream in my coffee to oat milk which I also like. Its literally been like no big deal. And I had eggs this morning. Eggs are pretty high in cholesterol but I'm not going to live a life where I dont ever eat fried eggs and cheese on toast. Its just a matter of knowing that its a less-often kind of food instead of three mornings a week.

I dunno I feel like I developed a really good anti-diet foundation and its really helped when going into being told that I need to watch a certain aspect of my diet. I go back in August to check again on my blood work and I'm really hoping it reflects well.

My doctor didnt even tell me like "Watch your cholesterol, heres how" she literally just went "Your cholesterol is high, you're obese, go on a diet and exercise." without asking me anything about what I eat or my activity levels. SO its more or less up to me to be normal about it, since she will not be.

I HAVE lost about 15 pounds in the last month-and-change, which to me is indicating that what i'm doing is DOING something. So I'm hopeful. Because compared to other stuff I've done, like keto or being vegan, or weight watchers, or calorie counting... this is so fucking easy dude. I'm literally just eating different stuff that I also like.

#Captain Speaking #tw diet #tw diet talk #food #this is good though im making huge massive progress #i was scared that being told to watch a certain aspect of what im eating was gonna be like.. triggering #and I was gonna go full diet mode #but no we are persisting and just adjusting some behaviors and being normal #I only thought about going completely vegan like two times and neither were serious

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every-captain · 3 hours

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I am the egg guy. Lover and devour-er of eggs. I see an egg and ask "is anyone gonna make that into a fried egg sandwich on toast with some cheese?"

#Captain Speaking #food #I LOVE to eat eggs in the morning but ive been eating a lot less of them cuz my doctor told me to watch my cholesterol. my numbers were hig #so ive been eating oatmeal or non dairy yogurt which is great and i really enjoy but i am treating myself to eggs this morning #and having a religious experience

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every-captain · 12 hours

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it isn't really complicated, but i still can't tell my grandma about it. my girlfriend is also my boyfriend and i'm her girlboyfriend and there are a lot of days this feels like smoothing sheets over a good mattress. it feels like getting a cup of good hot chocolate. we paint our nails lesbian flag pink, and i watch her eyelashes make shadows on her cheeks. she wants to kiss me because i am really good at baking, and i want to kiss her because when i am freaked out about how i spilled coffee, she just hands me extra napkins and helps me clean. he is so handsome i want to eat my fist. they once just winked at me and i couldn't talk for like the next fifteen minutes.

i haven't seen the L word and i was raised catholic. my earliest experiences with queer relationships were through harrowing conversations and hushed questions and blood on the ground. i didn't like boys soon enough. what, are you gay? asked to a 6th grader, almost like a demand.

when she is asleep next to me and i can feel the dreams run up and down her body, i pretend we are both somewhere in the stars. i like to picture a future full of fruit trees, and writing him poetry. sometimes she wakes up, has a whole conversation with me, goes back to sleep, and utterly forgets that we ever even spoke. she is always kind to me, even in that liminal half-there ghost. i like the croaked, raw way her voice sounds in the very-early morning, the way she always seems surprised i'm still here, and home.

on the internet, there are a lot of people who would be annoyed by both of us, and how labels must be pruned into orchids. a box has to hold and define the insides. people must be organized.

we went on a date last night, and the host said, oh, table for 2 nice ladies? neither of us are ladies, but also we are very much 2 nice ladies. i have been wearing her sweater nonstop. he has frequently been forced into wearing my taylor swift official merch quarter-zip because i was worried about him catching a chill, and you simply cannot be cool in an official taylor swift quarter-zip. do not worry: they listen to better music than i do, and their voice sounds like leaves falling.

i wear the skirts and makeup and i am better with spackle and know how to drive stick. recently someone commented on my work - you're just a man trying to reappropriate lesbian spaces. sometimes i feel like she is a clementine to me, and sometimes i feel like he is a german shepherd and sometimes i feel they are a bird to me. i like watching his hands over a guitar. can i write this poem, even? how can you be a lesbian if you're sometimes with a man? or you are the man?

how can i, huh. you know, our first date lasted 3 days. we'd been flirting for over a year before i finally asked her out. i'd already written her into poetry. she'd already written me into songs.

last night, in the late night, when they woke up again, confused about where they were, they said - oh, thank god. this is your arm. i liked the specifics, the denotation that the arm was (thank god!) mine. i really liked that definition. i liked the obvious relief because i understand it.

i say yeah, i have a partner. i mean - oh. thank god. it's your arm.

#I AM YEARNING #I AM PINING

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every-captain · 14 hours

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Google search: Can I enter my fat slut era in my mid 30s

#captain speaking

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every-captain · 14 hours

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