evil-osha - Tumblr blog

[evil-osha]

But I didn't. Think about that, maybe.

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

*taps mic* how do you feel about your current situation

I am not feeling good.

[evil-osha]

Fine. You win. Go torture Superior, or whatever the fuck. But I bear no responsibility for this.

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

Do you want me to kill you?

I'm quitting. Where are the resignation forms. -evil secretary

You're not quitting.

[evil-osha]

Brutus... listen to me. Once we get Arthur... once we win... you won't be tied down here any more. There's a better way.

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

I could let you go, but I'd have to kill you.

I'm quitting. Where are the resignation forms. -evil secretary

You're not quitting.

[evil-osha]

(@director not mods)

actually the eagles just wanted to make a batshit song. hotel California has no meaning lol

I know, that's why I said it spawned many theories, not that it was the actual meaning. I'm an eldritch being, you think I don't do my own research?

[evil-osha]

And what are you going to do after that? What's your game plan? Why are you doing this?

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

The album of course featured their hit song, Hotel California. The song has spawned many theories, with most pointing towards the song being a metaphor for the music industry at the time.

I like to think it relates a lot to this place, though. There's... a certain line at the end that I think you'll be able to recall quite well. It goes: "You can check out any time you like..."

But you can never leave.

*As he says this, The Director walks up closer to Secretary, and increases his height to rival even hers.*

I'm quitting. Where are the resignation forms. -evil secretary

You're not quitting.

[evil-osha]

I'm afraid you don't have a choice in that matter.

If you kill Superior, or disobey me, you're going to die. I think you underestimate how much power they have. Not Superior, god no. I'm talking about the higher-ups higher-ups. If they even sense something is wrong...

I can't promise anything good, I'm afraid. Your stupid little revenge, or corruption arc or whatever is going to be gone before it started.

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

In 1976 The Eagles released their fifth studio album, Hotel California.

I'm quitting. Where are the resignation forms. -evil secretary

You're not quitting.

[evil-osha]

I'm sorry, Brutus. I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

You like The Eagles?

I'm quitting. Where are the resignation forms. -evil secretary

You're not quitting.

[evil-osha]

*The Director gasps for breath*

What are you going to do next?

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

*A look of extreme concentration falls across the Director's face. He's sweating vigorously. At last, he collapses on the ground, and Brutus finds itself sitting exactly where it was before The Director "sent him to the void". It's totally unharmed.*

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

*The Director approaches Blackbox, and sticks his hand through Blackbox's chest, tearing out its internal organs.*

I'm going to kill you.

"𝐔𝐠𝐡.. 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡..."

[evil-osha]

I'm quitting. Where are the resignation forms. -evil secretary

You're not quitting.