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to have the kind of wealth to be this insulated from reality

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Obama’s Dijon Burger: The Worst Scandal in Presidential History!!11eleventyones11!!

I think I’m gonna try Dijon mustard on a cheeseburger some day soon.

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I hope that in my old age, I die in a funny way so that people can laugh at my funeral.

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longest unnoticed death ever

The longest known time of an unnoticed death is held by Hedviga Golik of Zagreb, Croatia at 42 years.

As the poster child of the Forever Alone meme, this will be me.  At this point of my life, I might as well aim to break her record and go into the Guinness World Records of longest unnoticed death.

[evilbucketlist]

make someone cry

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see the USA go full retard

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The Blues Brothers (1980)

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learn to sing Mozart's "Leck mich im Arsch"

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dissolve every HOA from existence

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scent the air by stuffing unwashed socks in air vents

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FART LOUD AND PROUD

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become an internet meme

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become twitter infamous

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[evilbucketlist]

write a tell-all memoir where I talk smack about my mother