evoiirig

[evoiirig]

“Just because l’m a coward doesn’t mean l can’t be brave. Really you can only be considered brave if you are one..

[evoiirig]

How to uncook yourself from being cooked?

I need help 😔🙏🏽

[evoiirig]

Sometimes l wonder how different my life would be if l had just made different choices what if l didn’t lie to that guy what if l was just honest would l be happier?

Don’t know maybe it would be better or worse who knows.

My life is like a tired, box beaten enough, but being held up by tape sad and weak always on the verg of being broken I can’t seem

To get a grip on it, I try but not nearly hard enough I find l’m floating between sadness and being numb from anxiety to fear l’m a mess l have a zero future if this keeps up, but yet, I’m still here

What’s wrong with me?

Why can’t I just be a regular kid why is this my life.

Can it be different if I try I mean really try will I feel different

I’d say I don’t know what to do with myself anymore but I know what I need to do the harder part is actually doing it

and I know even after doing all this, I’m just gonna go back to doing the same shit I’m not gonna change. I don’t think I know how to anymore. Why is everything so dead..

[evoiirig]

Who am I.

I seem to blend and bend to whatever that’s expected of me.

Don’t date a certain kind of man.

Yes mother.

Without any hesitation, I fix myself to

fit everyone standards.

Forget about what I may like or want in the face of scrutiny,

Be different but not too much.

Be yourself, until myself

isn’t someone you like.

Life feels like a game of normals I was never taught.

Now I don’t need them whispering in my ear about what not to do.

I’m that voice telling me what’s normal enough,

I’m that voice laughing when someone does something I don’t think is normal enough.

The silent glances the echoes of laughter from others or my own I can’t differentiate anymore,

the Thoughts that keep me up at night,

Was I normal enough today? Did I fit in will they still like me if they

See me for me without the labels of introvert when they try to

Explainthe fact that I’m alone the silent sadness and disappointment on my mothers face

When she realizes I haven’t found any friends.

I don’t hate myself I’m just tried of being this person.

[evoiirig]

I took this weeks ago don’t really remember when exactly, l was writing something completely different but just as l hit the post button my Wi-Fi stopped

working and the original post was lost.

so much around my life is changing and l can’t lie l’m afraid ldk what will happen,

or what’s going to stay the same and that scares me l don’t wanna be here next year l’m tired of starting over.

I wanna live differently no more pity parties or wallowing your growing up things won’t be like this forever you have to give yourself a fighting chance at least or else you’ll be completely destroyed..

You’ve reached a point you realize that too so now is time for less talking and more action bulid yourself up cause in the end of the day this is your life

And if you screw it up it’s on you nobody coming to rescue you what are you waiting for?

I want you to promise after your done with this and hit the post button you pick yourself up live your life please..

[evoiirig]

I took this picture right after my mom got into a crazy fight with my sister, Funny how life seems to work that so much bad can occur, yet with so much beauty in the world, lately l find myself struggling to be consistent in the promises I made to myself I’m not where I wanna be at all. Far from it actually but I’ve already done so many things, changed so much that even though I’m not satisfied I still appreciate everything I have now. For Easter we went to my uncle’s house for dinner and he has a niece, around my age I’ve met her before on New Year’s 2024. even back then I wanted to be friends with her, but I’m awkward and often too self-conscious either way I was there and I remember she was in the living room dancing with my sister and I just found myself feeling jealous, I wasn’t having fun and so I was annoyed that my sister was having fun and getting Close to someone I wanted to be close with, that were able to be comfortable like that at some point, I just left to go sit with my parents in the other another room, eventually, I went back because the only charger was in the living room where they were at, and at that point she already started making friends with my other sister, l felt so out of place. Just awkwardly watching them have fun while trying to pretend to be busy on my phone lmao. until she started trying to include me in a video she was taking I didn’t know the song so l just kind of stood there doing random hand movements and weirdly shuffling my body either way eventually some songs that I knew came on and l started dancing and singing having fun.. and finding out she’s only one year older than me yet she fits in so much more, and even my older sisters liked her, all this too say that l need to get a life Frr.. l wanna have my own friends to have fun with and have inside jokes with someone l can be completely myself without having to put on a mask, but at the same time l’m scared of having someone like that cause that will mean they’ll see me for who l am and that thought always deters me away. The excuse is that I’m sparing them, the trouble of having to deal with me. But I know the truth I’m just afraid.. That I’ll be rejected.

[evoiirig]

Right l said was was gonna do a follow up, so this is just the basic plot of it, theirs gonna be a lot of Oc so heads up, but l know where l want the story to go l just don’t know how to build it up so they maybe inconsistency with some characters or the plot, either way, if you do give it a try hope you like it. 🤭💗

[evoiirig]

I took this when l was getting my hair done a few months back, honestly l’ve given up the idea of posting frequently but l will post but it will probably be far apart either way that’s that, l have so much going on in my life right now ldk where to begin to start l finally posted my first chapter of the fanfic l was writing so l’m happy about that although l’m kinda worried about the Ao3 curse my life is already crazy enough l don’t want any more bad Luck!!

but l thought it’d be a waste not to take a chance l mean maybe it will blow up and everyone will love it or maybe it won’t who knows but l want to stop living my life on chance or luck so l think l’m gonna make another post to summarize the plot it’s a one piece fic,

and l recently watched Hamilton l “know,” l’m late either way l’ve just been obsessed with the songs my favorite being, Alexander Hamilton Aaron burr, sir, My shot, who lives, who dies, who tells your story, and the world was wide enough, have just been on repeat.

So that’s what l,ve been up to my mom’s birthday is coming up soon and l made her a birthday “card,” it’s not anything too personally so l don’t think it will be an issue to show it but what do ya’ll think l was also thinking l could buy her crochet roses cause l know she likes them and add daisy cause their her birth flowers ldk about that though, l see bout it. Anyway l’ve just been yapping but this is an update on how my year has been going so far. Well, See you next time xoxo ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

[evoiirig]

I haven’t been on this app a lot recently l find myself too exhausted to do anything anyway l didn’t take this picture but my sister took it but l thought it was too pretty not to post she had taken it when on a

walk with her friend l wanna start posting a lot more frequently l haven’t really been posting as much as I would like so starting from today l’ll try posting as least once a week let’s see how that works out..

and as for the new year resolutions it’s been going good so far. It’s definitely been hard and l find myself struggling to keep up with all the goals I made, but I’m just trying to go one step at a time to create a life that I actually want I’m happy with. 💌🫶🏽 💝

[evoiirig]

Hii l’m new to tumblr so this is my first post so l wanted to start this blog l’m also a writer wannabe so if anybody has tips and suggestions l’d really appreciate it <3 l took this on a walk with my sister earlier in the year it was one of the best walk l’ve ever gone on over all a good way to start the year l’m definitely one of those people who say every new year is gonna be different and it usually doesn’t but last year l didn’t even try to live differently just living the same life and wishing for another but no more wanting if l want something new l have to give it to myself this is a bit long l just wanted to rant a little anyway one thing l told myself that this year l’m taking more pictures more memories here’s one of my favorite so far..🫶🏽💗