evolieeee
evolieeee
lemme sleep
1K posts
She/Her, adult (involuntarily), current obsession: batman
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evolieeee · 1 month ago
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love the classic damsel in distress trope, but the damsel in question is a pathetic fictional man bleeding out in the dark somewhere on the floor before his ridiculously gorgeous knight comes for his rescue just when he’s about to pass out, and the ridiculously gorgeous knight in question is actually a deranged villain who is his archenemy. but they both have these frustratingly unresolved sexual tension going on where they both hate each other but are also super possessive and protective of each other in the sense that no one else can hurt this little guy but me!!!! and so the knight carries his pathetic damsel in his arms bridal style back to his goth castle where they have hot, kinky gay sex ever after (after he nurses his pathetic enemy’s ass back to health, of course, can’t risk bruising our fragile damsel when he’s already half dead).
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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Stop giving me comics where Dick looks cool as batman. I want to see one where that man tries to do a backflip in the batsuit, eats it on the cape, and has to hide a broken rib from both Barbara and Alfred.
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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Im in the middle of waterless shampooing alex and i cant get over how dumb he looks fhfhfbvf my poor clean rat son
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Bonus tiny blep
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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"to get treatment for adhd you (person with untreated adhd) need to schedule and then show up for several appointments" is the kind of shit the greek gods would inflict on a guy who ate his son
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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Unhinged sadistic laughter in my bedroom at 11:30pm while I’m supposed to be sleeping?
It’s more likely than you’d think
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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Tim: Batman needs a Robin!
Dick: okay, then be Robin.
Tim: I-you can’t-
Tim, a scrawny 13 year old rich kid who looks two years younger than he is: be so fucking for real.
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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tumblr and discord changing their ui just enough to be noticeable within a week of each other, 1 million billion neurodivergent people found dead
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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free healthcare should include teeth actually
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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WHERE IS THE ESSAY OP
Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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I understand that Tim Drake is Batman’s moral compass but we also need to understand and acknowledge that Tim Drake is NOT Tim Drake’s moral compass.
His moral compass is his hyper fixation and “morally correct” is anything that fulfills it.
Tim Drake not only has the self-preservation skills of a wet paper bag but also the morals of one.
And we should all be grateful his autism chose Batman to hyperfixate on and not the Rogues
Seriously, imagine a lil Tim, bat-identity in pocket, apprenticing under someone like Scarecrow (I'd never give him Joker because no one deserves that target clown)
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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Bruce Wayne struggles to say “I love you” to his kids but is always doing things for them without being asked.
Steph: yeah, my check engine light is on and I have no idea why.
Bruce: *immediately grabs car jack and is outside with the hood open*
Tim: M&M’s are so good, man!
Bruce: *fills center console of Batmobile with M&M’s*
Duke: I love when birds sing so much. It’s always nice to wake up to
Bruce: *hangs birdhouses and bird feeders outside his window*
Babs: I just need one more book to complete my collection.
Bruce: *has a first edition on her desk at the library first thing in the morning*
Jason: I heard the new Mario Kart is fun.
Bruce: *buys it and a switch and puts it in his mailbox*
Dick: yeah, I really like their new album.
Bruce: *get him VIP tickets to the concert for him and five people*
Cass: I’ve been meaning to put this shelf up but I keep putting it off.
Bruce: *hammer and leveler teleport into this hands*
If anyone asks, he doesn’t acknowledge he did any of this or he shrugs it off with a “yep.” He’s a man of action, not words. He cares deeply and doesn’t know how to show it.
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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All hail the potato of luck
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evolieeee · 3 months ago
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Me: /reacts in pain because my foot sometimes hurts badly for no known reason/
A: /immediately begins complaining about their health/
Im not saying they constantly have to one up any suffering and tragedy, but they constantly have to one up me, and now they’re surprised I don’t mention that my foot hurts regularly and say that clearly I’m fine and they’re in worse pain, so I can do the stuff that is painful for me too.
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