Some times you just have to "lose your shit" to equalise your mental health!
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Keeping your head up through that storm is always the hard part!
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Remembering sucks. Remembering every little detail sucks. The images never fade.
Remembering every single spiteful word spoken, remembering the pain and suffering.
So much suffering, so much detail stuffed in one small space.
Being strong sucks. I am tired.
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Its my trigger! I will own that trigger! Its the trigger you gave me instead of love!
You get offended when I give you a reaction, yet you enjoy the power of the trigger in your hand.
Enjoy walking all over the boundary line, holding that trigger. Does it make you feel empowered?
"You have got trust issues!" "This is your illness talking!" "Its all in your head!" Easy words to cover lies. Of cause its "my fault!" Its always my fault.
My fault? A trigger you gave me! Oh of cause it is.
Enjoy it... The power you feel you have, because its a false high!
Because while you are busy pulling them triggers, I'm learning.
I'm learning that I do have the strength to get back up.
The strength to see whats good for me!
So pull away because I'm coming out of this far stronger than when I joined the fight.
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You just stay quite and hope the struggle passes quickly!
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But you can't help but miss small parts!
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Then you are told you are "quite" you can never win!
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