exmachina187

[exmachina187]

[exmachina187]

what are you thinking?

the ol’ punch and judy?

[exmachina187]

sometimes I forget that the twins “were responsible for the bolivia job” and how they behaved on the train like in my head they're all serious and stuff and they didn't choose those life this life chose them but what if they like it. like maybe they are a little bit nuts and unhinged and yes they've had a rough upbringing etc but maybe. they're psychos and maybe they enjoy it. maybe they're just inherently bad people AND THATS OK!!!

[exmachina187]

Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Tangerine

—BULLET TRAIN (2022) dir. David Leitch

[exmachina187]

Bullet train incorrect quotes:

Tangerine: WHO DID THIS? WHOEVER DID THIS IS GOING TO BE-

Y/N: It was me…

Tangerine: -forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Lemon: Wow. If it was me, I’d be dead.

[exmachina187]

fuzzy duck?

ducky fuzz

DOES HE FUCK?

FUCK, HE DOES

none of the gifs r mine

dm me if you know the owner(:

[exmachina187]

He's so beautiful I can't 🥺 I love him so much 🥺❤️ another edit I did

[exmachina187]

Countertop Whispers

A/N: I am writing this on a whim at 8am and I legit created this blog at 6am. I am unhinged and these hours are unholy. We are all here for the vibes and I decided to take matters into my own hands because I have an AA in English that I need to put to use. And this is going to be short btw. You fic writers always tease me like this so this is payback for sure. Xx

Warnings: if you don’t like sex with fruits, I suggest scrolling. NSFW, idek what else this is my first time doing this so please be kind.

Pairings: Tangerine x fem!reader

You hear the shaking of keys and the turning of the door knob of the front door. You pause your mixing, “Hey, my love! I’m in the kitchen!”

He sighs as he sets his keys down and hangs up his coat, releasing all the pressure of today’s hit job as he slumps down on the couch. Blood is sprinkled over his white button down. He rolls up his sleeves and unbuttons the top to reveal his shiny, sweat covered chest.

You look at him, tilting your head sympathetically. You tighten your apron and shake off the bit of powdered sugar you have on you. You grab a cup of iced water and walk over to the living room where your husband is practically meditating in silence. He notices you get closer and he opens his eyes with a glint of relief.

You sit next to him and hand him the cup. His mustache lifts ever so slightly as he sips on the refreshing drink. He pants after he gulps it down, placing the cup on the coffee table coaster. He looks at you lovingly. “Darling, you have no idea how good you look right now,” he says as he grabs your cheek and places a kiss on your temple.

“And you look like a mess but I believe you look sexiest like this,” you say to him while smirking sweetly as his breath hitches at the remark. “Making some cupcakes, wanna help me, handsome?”

“Too knackered to help, love, but I’ll definitely watch.” He says softly as he places another kiss but now below your ear. You giggle at the tickle of his mustache before you get up to continue with your sweetest of hobbies.

Tangerine takes his seat on one of the stools directly across from you on the kitchen island. He admires your dedication to perfecting your baking skills, and definitely has no complaints considering how delicious everything you make is. Usually, on every Friday night, he would always make time to watch you do your thing. He would chat with you about how your days went, what happened at work, how Lemon is doing, all while taste testing everything you gave him. Sometimes he offers to help you out when you needed an extra hand. But tonight, his mind is wondering into a place that makes him grateful that the countertop is covering his lower half.

He can’t get enough of you in that apron. It is wrapped so tightly around your curves that he wishes it were his hands instead. The sounds of your hums put him into a blissful state and it is so cute to watch you sway to the music in your head. The bit of flour on your nose makes him want to kiss it clean. You are used to him staring at you while you bake but right now his eyes are burning right into your hips.

He stays like this for awhile up until you finish mixing up some buttercream frosting. You sigh happily as you grab some with the tip of your index finger and bring it to your tongue. You suck on it for a moment and moan sweetly at the taste. Tangerine’s breath has grown heavy and the tightness in his trousers is becoming unbearable.

“Come to think of it, love, I reckon I would like to help out a bit.” Tangerine slowly walks around the island and stands behind you with his hands on his hips, still looking so dominant as he waits for your command. You squeal at his willingness, “Ahh, yes! Okay, here is the cutting board with some chocolate. Cut it into little pieces for me, will ya?” You peck his cheek and he blushes as he goes to wash his hands before grabbing the knife and dicing up the chocolate.

He is not exactly sure how small you want it cut so he pauses and asks, “This to your liking, love?” You look over to him and say, “Oh honey, I’m sorry, let me show you how it needs to be.” You grab the knife from his hand and slide in front of him, your ass brushing against him as you position yourself to where he was.

He hisses quietly at the contact then bites his lip. He thoughts run wild so he gets an idea and takes this chance to grab your waist from behind and rest his head above your right shoulder to look over it. Internally, you’re swooning at the position, feeling your heart skip a beat. You try your best to focus on slicing the chocolate while his thumbs rubs circles into your back, and you’re struggling not to moan at the sensation.

Tangerine moves his lips to the side of your ear and whispers, “Oh I see how it’s done. You do that so good, baby.” You shiver in response to his praise. “My girl is so good with knives, ain’t that right?” He pecks softly at your neck and you can’t help but stop your movements from your legs beginning to weaken at his words.

“Love, why’d you stop? Don’t you want to finish what you started?” he says as you whine, arching your neck back to be exposed to his affection. His lips continue moving on to the sweet spot below your ear as he starts to lift his left hand from your waist, to your beating chest, moving on to your neck, gripping it ever so slightly.

“I’m fucking starving, and you’re going to be my dessert, darling.”

—

part 2 is up!

[exmachina187]

Okay okay, this is small, but can I please request a Tangerine x fem!civilian/wife reader based off of this Gif/scene? Where Tangerine’s wife loves plushies and that’s why he grabbed it, to give it to his love because he’s a huge softie for her, which Lemon teases him relentlessly for hehe (and he lived and was able to give it to her)🥰🥰

I LOVE THIS SM

Gifts

As soon as he entered that car, he mentally vomited. Although it reminded him way too much of you.

“No, no, no, don’t have the time or the patience, let alone the interest.” He said, walking past the walking advertisement trying to sell him some stuffed animal. He took one anyways, looking at it.

‘Aw, fuck, well now I have to keep it for her.’ He thought.

“Are you- are you following me?” He asked the person in the suit.

“Stop!” He said. And threw the stuffed animal at them, before quickly grabbing it again and continuing to walk.

He tried to hide it while he walked.

—————————-

As soon as they finally got out of the bullet train, lemon laughed at him.

“The fuck is that for?”

“What?” He asked.

“The stuffed animal.”

“Oh, bloody fucking- Its for my girlfriend. I’m not fucking keepin’ it for fun. That old ladybug dickhead already said something about it, I had to lie and said I had a niece! So can we please go now?!”

Lemon just laughed and started to drive.

“You’re so whipped.” Lemon said.

“What?”

“You are. It’s true.”

“Lemon, I swear to god, one more word from you about this, I’m going to strangle you.”

“Alright, alright, sorry, sorry.”

——————————

As soon as he opened the door, you ran up to him and hugged him.

“Holy shit- you’re very….”

“Wounded? I know, I know. But I brought ya something.” He handed you it and you smiled widely.

“Thank you! You’re the best.” You said, and kissed his cheek as he handed you it.

“Im starting to think that you love your stuffed animals more than me.” He grumbled as you put it on your guys bed.

“I do not!”

“Mhm. Right..”

[exmachina187]

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last updated: 15/03/23 (DD/MM/YY)

welcome to my little blog, this is an easy way to locate my fics💌

I have just a few rules:

1. minors dni, as most of my content is 18+

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3. be sure to read the warnings in each post, in case it’s something you’re not comfortable reading

4. I write for afab readers, as that’s what im most comfortable with, however some of my fluff fics can be considered as gn

a little bit about me:

☆ im 20, british

☆ infp || leo sun, gemini moon, virgo rising

☆ fav flowers are tulips

☆ top 5 marvel characters in order; natasha, wanda, matt, bucky, peter 3

☆ I love sitcoms, my faves are new girl, modern family and parks & rec

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just know that it may take a few days, and im not ignoring you :)

if you have any ideas or recs, I would be happy to write them for you- assuming you like my writing. as of now I only write for Matt Murdock and Tangerine, but feel free to send in requests for any mcu male character - but if there’s one im not comfortable writing, I’ll nicely say so in response :)

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key:

🍓- fluff

🌶️ - smut

🥀- angst

✰ - personal favourite

favourite fics of january

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Keep reading

[exmachina187]

I have an idea for a tangerine x fem!reader, i was thinking a Mr and Mrs smith idea. So reader is married to tan and is also a contact killer/assassin but he doesn’t know this until he finds her on the train holding the briefcase

Then yanno the usual sexual tension and witty remarks 🤩

Thank youuuu

Unexpected

THE MR AND MRS SMITH REFRENVE IS EVEN MORE FUNNY WHEN YOU KNOW THAT BRAD PITT PLAYED JOHN LMFAOO

Tangerine tried his best to keep his job away from you, it was hard but he did it.

You also tried to keep your job away from him, you both usually called and sometimes maybe on a weekend if you both weren’t busy.

You both lived busy lives, sure. But you still found time for each other, and still loved each other very much.

So it was very, extremely unexpected to see each other on the train.

You and your partner Ladybug walked around.

You noticed someone, and recognized him. As you guys were about to leave the train, A familiar face stopped you.

You both quickly ran onto the train.

“That’s my husbands brother!” You whispered.

“What? He shot me, like.. twice!” He whisper yelled back, and you both quickly ran away.

“So, let me get this straight, your husbands brother is just coincidentally on this train, and he’s also a contract killer. What the fuck does your husband do?”

“He said he just works in an office job!”

“So uh, you can’t really like freak out or anything because this is just a guess, but I’m pretty sure that he and his brother were the two who did that one Bolivia job.”

“You mean the one where they wiped out the white deaths crew?”

“Yeah..”

“Oh my god. I’ve been lied to my whole marriage.”

“Technically you’ve been lying too. Y’Know it would really help to process this-“

“Shut up!” You said, and pushed ladybug aside as you saw your husband walking towards you both.

“Right, right, sorry.” He said as you both hid.

“He doesn’t know. Holy shit. Holy shit. I’m about to be divorced.”

“No you won’t. Just talk it out-“ he hid in a storage area. You flicked him off and hid against a wall, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He walked in, and he immediately saw you. It wasn’t exactly subtle.

He said your name, confused. You opened your eyes.

“Ta-da…” you said.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Work trip.”

“Me too.”

You both stared in silence as his phone rang. He answered it, still looking at you. You couldn’t hear what the other guy was saying.

After he hung up, he put his phone back in his pocket.

“I’m glad to see you, I haven’t seen you in a few days. But… seriously, what are you doing here?” He cleared his throat after a while.

“Like you said, work trip.”

He narrowed his eyes, and ladybug swore he could cut the tension with a knife. He felt as if he was watching some weird romantic action movie.

“Right, well, you should probably get off next stop. Lotta traffic after next stop…” he said.

You sighed and looked at ladybug for a second then back to him.

“I know you’re an assassin.” You said.

“Love, that is ridiculous-“ he said, way too quickly.

“Before you say anything- I am too. And I’m sorry for lying.”

“I’m not-“

“Seriously? You’re still lying?”

He felt guilty now.

“Fine. Yeah. I’m sorry for lying too.”

“So… you did the Bolivia job?”

“Yeah.”

You sighed, maybe he wouldn’t notice ladybug in the back.

“Well, uh, just- be careful, alright? We’ll talk when we get home.” You said.

“Yeah… you here for the case?” He asked.

“No. I came here to kill the wolf.” You lied.

“Alright.” He sighed, and fixed his mustache in the mirror, still not noticing ladybug.

“Love you.” He said, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and leaving.

“Love you too.”

Ladybug groaned and moved. He stood in front of you now.

“Well, now we’re fucked.”

“Yup.”

“Y’Know, there was a lotta sexual tension there. It was so weird-“

“Shut it.”

“Yup, yup, sorry.”

[exmachina187]

Tangerine and Lemon with a partner who's in a relationship with Tangerine? Like basically what missions would be like a stuff

Just rewatched Bullet Train today and I’m obsessed, I need more request for it

—————

“If you don’t shut the fuck up about those bloody trains, I’m gonna shoot you in the fucking face.” Tangerine repeated for the thousandth time, kicking a man that was running towards him square in the chest.

“I most definitely will not shut up about it!” Lemon grunted, punching a man hard enough to knock him out cold, making him fall harshly against a nearby wall.

“How about you both shut up or I’ll shoot you both in your fucking faces?” You snapped, roundhouse kicking a man in the jaw, watching him fall to the ground after a sickening crack.

“M’sorry, love,” Tangerine quickly apologized, rushing up behind you and planting a kiss in your hair before charging at another gang member and shooting him in the chest.

“Oi!” Lemon complained, deflecting some blows sent his way, “Why is it that you only ever listen to her and not your own brother?”

Tangerine shot him a deadly glare, “Because she has ten times the brains you’ll ever have and doesn’t ramble on about a fucking tank engine!”

You sighed at both the Englishmen, “I promise, Lemon, we can talk all about Thomas later, but we have to focus on the mission right now.”

“Ha!” The man cried joyfully as Tangerines mouth dropped open.

“You’re supposed to be on my side, darling! Not that pricks!” He whined like a child.

His brother stuck his tongue out at him in return mockingly as he easily sidestepped a punch to the face.

Lemon shrugged smugly, “Guess she just loves me more.”

“That’s not true!” He cried out, stomping his foot and turning towards you with a large pout, “Tell him it’s not true! Tell him you love me more because I’m your boyfriend and he’s not!”

“I… swear… to god,” You grunted in between each punch you delivered to a gang members face, “I feel more like both of your mother’s more than your girlfriend, Tangerine!”

“Just tell him that you love me more and we can get on with the mission!” Your boyfriend complained.

“I love you both evenly!” You yelled out in frustration, words that every mother tells her bickering children, “Now can we please get back to the mission?”

They both sulked silently, but got back to the task at hand nonetheless.

“She loves me more,” Tangerine whispered with a deadly glare to his brother as they drew closer.

“In your dreams,” He hissed back.

You pretended not to notice either of them, because you did in fact love them both. And as annoying as they were, you wouldn’t trade either of them for the world.

[exmachina187]

You're fucking up big time!!!☆

[exmachina187]

everyboddy shut  UP im THINKING about finctional character

[exmachina187]

Anthony: How is the most beautiful person in the world doing?

Kate: I don't know, how are you?

Benedict, across the room: I'M DOING GREAT!

[exmachina187]

*telepathically sends u a kiss goodnight so u dream about me*

[exmachina187]