fadingsstuff - Tumblr blog

[fadingsstuff]

I feel lost and alienated... I don't know what to do with this shitty feeling. I don't have anything to cope with, like my only anchor, something I love, a faith. I had an anchor, but it was ripped away from me. I wish it wasn't like this.

[fadingsstuff]

Nah that doesn't sound convincing to me. Someone who will abandon your body after you die or get injured, who won't even build a grave for you.

Headcanon

-Levi obviously doesn't kill unless he has to, it's not like he enjoys killing people. But when it comes to you he will kill anyone who puts your life at risk.

Such a cutie pie~❤️

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I find it strange that there are accounts with Levi pfp who like and approve this. What I find strange is how you can continue to read and like xreader fanfic about Levi despite this? You should be disturbed, saddened and distanced from him by these discourses, but you can still continue to love him.

It's interesting that you accept his toxic flaws so unperturbed. It seems you can still love him in spite of them.

When you read the manga and the side material, interviews, when you see that he was always willing to sacrifice and sacrificed others for the "greater good" in the battles and missions he went on and that he so blindly followed, was loyal to, was devoted to someone else (his vassal his lord), you realize even more that it is difficult and impossible to imagine him with anyone else/yourself, and that you cannot be the first person for him. His eyes see no one but 'HİM'.

And when you try to write him canonically in your fics as if you are his first choice, his first favorite, because of this canon material, your characterization of him looks OCC in every way.

[fadingsstuff]

When you read the manga and the side material, interviews, when you see that he was always willing to sacrifice and sacrificed others for the "greater good" in the battles and missions he went on and that he so blindly followed, was loyal to, was devoted to someone else (his vassal his lord), you realize even more that it is difficult and impossible to imagine him with anyone else/yourself, and that you cannot be the first person for him. His eyes see no one but 'HİM'.

And when you try to write him canonically in your fics as if you are his first choice, his first favorite, because of this canon material, your characterization of him looks OCC in every way.

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"Levi is someone who cares about the lives of his comrades/people he is trying to save. Sacrificing them is the last thought that crosses his mind. He values their lives too much to sacrifice them for a mission. He is a very honest person who never keeps secrets from others and trusts his comrades. He is not deceitful."

Also levi:

His first suggestion (as if he was very prepared) was always to sacrifice someone, or he ignored their lives when someone was in danger because he knew it was necessary to move forward with the plan and I think he was probably incapable of even telling his squad about the plan that led to their deaths. If they had known about it, maybe the risk of their deaths would have been reduced.

He can only lead his team for so long. He leaves the majority of the work to them and leaves even his own leadership responsibility to Eld. After that he immediately goes back to Erwin as if he were the owner. ironic.

#I mean, It's confusing when people ignore some of his cold-blooded brutal horrific acts and talk about Levi as a 24/7 compassionate caring softy honest equal human being who cares deeply about lives and is not hes who doesn't keep secrets anddeceptive.

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this is some abitious sketch that i'm not sure if i will finish

i really liked the phrase "real girl games"

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Lmao Yams or animation teams show Levi side by side with Erwn 24/7 to show how obsessed Levi is with Erwn, that his only goal, the person he thinks about the most is him, and they even go so far as to put Erwn in his eyes.

Strangery absurt and pathetic

And are you really saying that despite all this Levi "is not obsessed with anyone" "he is his own man and makes his own decisions" "he would never blindly idolize anyone"?

Shingeki No Kyojin: Eren, Levi and Mikasa

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this anon said exactly what was on my mind +💯

I absolutely agree that it is failed character script and characterization for him to follow him anyway, especially after being betrayed, after finding out that he does not share the same ideology with him (including not mentioning Isabel and Farlan) There was also a period, especially before, when he was aware of his dream but did not question it. It reminds me of a person who murders a family member and stays with them even though they don't know about it, but after a while they find out about it and they are betrayed and they still stay with them. Usually they would be against it, but Levi doesn't do that and it's very similar to the stockholm syndrome.

There could have been a scenario where he stops following him after he realizes that he doesn't share the same goal. And there could have been a little bit of character development like that about him being able to realize his ideologies himself instead of following others for theirs. He would have been an independent character, following his own thoughts and realizing them instead of following and being fooled by others. But Yams somehow doesn't bother with the cause-effect reasons for this, but instead presents a lazy narrative in which Levi, despite these betrayals, still naively believes and continues to follow him. Or he didn't bother to write at all.

But by not doing that, it makes it all the more understandable that Yams wrote/viewed him and him role as Erwin's supporting character/sidekick czar. He says that he doesn't know what to do with Levi after the side character who continues his role dies, that he thinks that Levi's role is complete with him, that he has no function left. That's one of the reasons why he tried to kill him a couple of times and couldn't reduce him to anything other than killing Zeke.

Am I the only one who finds Erwin and Levi's relationship toxic?

I've read your discussions and I agree that in ACWR Erwin set up a plan to get Levi to join the SC that would get his friends killed. And even though Levi is betrayed when he learns of the intentions of this man he has blindly followed over time, and even though he realizes that the man he followed for his ideology does not serve that purpose, he still follows him. It's very disturbing that he follows him for no reason, even though he's following him for this purpose and even though he finds out that it doesn't serve this purpose, even though he has no reason to follow him, in a way. Did he wonder if he himself was part of this betrayal? Was the deaths of Farlan and Isabel also part of this plan? I would have given him the right to hold a grudge against Erwin just because of their deaths, but he doesn't even do that, let alone mention them once.

I think this is a failed character script and characterization

I will never understand why people romanticize it by saying they have a great relationship.

I agree that Levi's situation is really sad and I find it disturbing that he follows him despite all this.

Erwin didn't want Furlan and Isabel to die. I don't know why anyone thinks that. Yes, he endangered their lives by forcing them into a military unit that has an astronomically high death rate, and I'll agree 100% that Erwin's manipulation of Levi and his friends was the most morally wrong and unethical thing he ever did. But it wasn't his intention for them to die. He used them, undoubtedly, but Erwin isn't a sadist, and he isn't a bad person, despite his many, many flaws.

The thing that needs to be understood about Erwin is, he bought into his own line about fighting for the victory of humanity as much as anyone else. He convinced himself that's what he was fighting for, as a means of coping with the truth, which is that his true motivator was discovering the truth of the world to atone, basically, for the death of his father.

This self-delusion of Erwin's begins to unravel during the Uprising Arc, when for the first time, he does something that is counter to humanity's well-being, that being the military coup he enacts. And we see Erwin begin to spiral from there.

Levi trusted in and believed in Erwin so much because Erwin, in fact, WAS a great leader and DID have a far-reaching vision that allowed the Survey Corps to make more progress toward freeing humanity than any other leader in the SC's history. Levi never "blindly" followed Erwin. He took plenty of issue with Erwin's methods and approach as a leader. But he also trusted in Erwin to do the right thing because, up until the Uprising arc, he always had when it came to benefiting the greater good. He trusted in his abilities as a leader because he'd proven again and again to be someone worthy of that trust. It's why Levi thanks Erwin near the end of his life and tells him that it's thanks to him that they've made it as far as they have. That's the truth. The SC never would have made it to that point without Erwin's leadership and guidance.

Erwin began to sink into a mire of self-loathing and guilt (which in and of itself proves he never was some heartless, uncaring sociopath), and that colored his own perception of himself as somehow unworthy or undeserving of his role as Commander. But Erwin was never the bad person he believed himself to be. Yes, he was motivated by a selfish dream, but the moment that dream began to interfere with his actual ability to lead, we see Erwin start to fall apart and the self-loathing begin to consume him. If he was actually a bad person, he wouldn't have felt anything at all about it. He would have been a-okay with the dawning realization that he'd been selling people a lie this whole time to get them to sacrifice themselves. And it's also important to understand that Erwin, even though he wasn't able to completely let go of his selfishness, and he needed Levi to make the choice for him, he WANTED Levi to make the choice because he WANTED to do the right thing. He just knew he didn't have the strength to do it on his own. But the desire to do the right thing, even as he lacked the strength for it, is also proof that Erwin wasn't some horrible, evil man that was just out for himself.

Levi is a better person than Erwin. But then, Levi is an exceptionally good man. Most people aren't as good as him. It doesn't mean Erwin was a bad person, just because he wasn't as selfless as Levi.

Levi has a greater insight into people than basically any other character in AoT. He sees people for who they really are. And he saw a goodness in Erwin that Erwin couldn't see in himself. That's why he followed him. Erwin was flawed, and in some ways, weak, but ultimately, he cared and wanted to be the leader that everyone believed he was. Levi helped him become that leader.

Their relationship isn't romantic or "great", maybe, but it's important and meaningful and, ultimately, deeply poignant.

Again, this desire to see Levi "hate" Erwin for failing to be the perfect, ideal man is more projection than anything. People projecting their own lack of sympathy or empathy or compassion onto the most empathetic and compassionate character in the series. Of course you're going to be disappointed when Levi doesn't succumb to the same, vengeful mindset and petty grievances that most of us would.

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They deleted or hid what I wrote lmao. What I wrote must have been too much for them. Did they think that their manipulative, prejudiced, incomplete, strange writings would never be criticized? But these are true. When you're changing something to fit your narrative/Hc's, when you're trying to canonize it and get everyone to buy into it, or when you're secretly adding your ship to your Self İnsert/Reader fic and trying to make others believe/see it, when you're changing the characterization, there are some people who are very triggered by these things, who get caught up in these narratives and fall into doubts.

These are toxic species that literally pollute fandom and ruin people's entertainment and pleasure.

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"i am the exact type of person who has always said - about the aot fandom - not to believe every 'fact' you read bc misinfo and (sometimes intentionally) wrong translation is strangely common in this fandom. it pops up all the time, which is exactly why i made a conclusive post about facts specifically about levi 😔"

"it's important to me. i'm really passionate about levi and i love his character. that's the only agenda i had when making that post 😔"

"i was honestly leaning toward keeping any facts about characters besides him OUT of the post because of the exact reason i'm talking about this 😔"

You are a liar. You talk about being neutral and separating your ship from Levi, but like everything else you write, you always include your ship in it. Whether it's your analysis articles where you force your own Hc's into canon or your er*ri trapped Levi x reader articles where you add weird characterizations to Levi to make it look like your ship.

Because of people like you, because of the way you bullied Levi to fit your own entertainment, Instead of canon manga, it's because you believe every vague rumor/official side materials so insignificant that they are not canon/interview just to justify your ship and bully everyone by religiously calling it canon, Because of the things I don't want to see, I had to walk away from it, full of doubts about my own character of comfort that allowed me to hold on to life.

You don't really like Levi. You like him more as a toy for your Hc's that you are trying to push as your canon and your own favorite that you ship with him. And after you've had your fun for a while, you move on with your daily life.

I've been in this fandom long before you, but because of latecomers like you, you have caused me to plant seeds of disgust, doubt, despair, disappointment, disgust, from my comfort character that once made me put my other foot forward, that once made me get out of bed, that once gave me strength, that once gave me life and happiness for 98% of my life, that once distracted me from the reality of this shitty complicated, scary life of mine.

What is the result? While people like you go on with your happy and normal everyday life, I, because of this character that you have created to fit your own entertainment, you have literally made me write these strange articles full of doubts and make suicide even more tempting. You have taken away the only thing that gives me a reason to live. I am not the only one suffering from this.

I hope you experience the same thing I did and understand what this shitty feeling is.

this is gonna bother me if i don't address it so

i am the exact type of person who has always said - about the aot fandom - not to believe every 'fact' you read bc misinfo and (sometimes intentionally) wrong translation is strangely common in this fandom. it pops up all the time, which is exactly why i made a conclusive post about facts specifically about levi. it's important to me. i'm really passionate about levi and i love his character. that's the only agenda i had when making that post.

no one will ever know how much time and effort i poured into that post. not to claim i'm flawless of course, but i combed through isayama's blog, multiple translations of magazines in which levi content appeared, and other side-media. chinese, english, and japanese. some sources weren't fluent in japanese, and some were. it took me weeks because i wanted to *try* to be flawless at least.

i was honestly leaning toward keeping any facts about characters besides him OUT of the post because of the exact reason i'm talking about this. i was worried about not being taken seriously or being accused of picking and choosing translations because of some shipping agenda. the number of disclaimers i even added was to emphasize that i'm not perfect, but i am as informational and unbiased as possible.

it's annoying. it would make sense that it would be unbiased if i was a levi stan which... jesus this would go on forever if i made a testimony about that. i've been here for years. funnily enough the moment i become passionate about a ship with levi in it, i start to receive weird messages.

so it's super fucking disappointing not to be taken seriously and to be accused of the same thing i rant about often on this blog. i've gotten requests about other 'facts' and trivia, but i don't even *want* to now, and that's so annoying.

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That came back to my mind again... But seriously, Levi before Sc was a really selfless and independent individual who made his own decisions. Where once his goal was to protect the people he considered his family (farlan isabel), now he is willing to sacrifice his colleagues/friends in SC, close or distant, without a second thought. It reminds me of a robot following commands, trying to convince himself that he is worth the goal they are pursuing.

How can people who ship with Levi with Self insert/Oc and write fiction not be bothered by this? There is a man who believes that you are going to die at any moment, who is prepared, who is willing to accept this. I mean, if Y/N was a Sc soldier, it would have been difficult and unconvincing for him to protect Y/N. In any case, he would be willing to sacrifice Y/N for the sake of the mission. And you are either writing the dynamic of "he loves Y/n but is willing to let them die/sacrifice", or you think he is a man who would not do that, or you accept his strange love/defect. If it's 1 and 2, you're very creepy. Would you find it romantic that the man you love would consent to your sacrifice and death?

I think that Levi's following orders without questioning them, in a way being a dog of orders, is one of the biggest disrespect to himself.

Even Erwin asks for his opinion and thoughts before asking him for something, but Levi has lost his self-respect to the point that he only wants to be ordered around. Before Survey Corps he was really a free individual who could make his own thoughts, choices, decisions. Survey Corps really destroyed his mental health to the extent that he lost his personality, his self-respect.

Because of the way Isayama portrays him, fans/shippers/fanartists always portray him as humiliated, dragged on the ground next to they favorites.

Particularly by reducing him to a "promise" by injuring him and throwing him away in S4 just because an important side character died, he throws away his huge potential.

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Um.. I don't think Levi's going to take it badly/unhappy... After all, in the Survey corps, you are in a unit where you put your own life on the line. And Levi knows that, and he would have been very indifferent about it. He wouldn't object to you sacrificing yourself for somebody else..

[AOT OC / Louna D. - Levi A.] "Back from mission" 💚✨

Louna has a nasty habit of wanting to protect everyone at all costs (she doesn't want to see anyone die in front of her since her parents died) & often ends up getting hurt. Of course, this doesn't please a certain gentleman 🏃‍♀️

The only solution he found was to put her in his squad. But… will it really stop her 👀 ?

She can be stubborn… very stubborn ✨

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I will never understand the shippers who like this. When these are aspects that would not suit Levi and could be criticized, when frankly it's something that would make me extremely uncomfortable, frightening, I can't understand how you can like this so easily.

"Levi never thought about one comrade without thinking of the other" Meanwhile, Levi goes back to shiganshina to retrieve Erwin's body, and Yams says something similar about only caring about retrieving Erwin's body among all those dead soldiers. It further proves Levi's elevation and care for Erwin above the others, his comrades, and Yams desire to make him very attached to Erwin.

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While cleaning out my room I found a paper that my therapist gave me some time ago to deal with obsessive and intrusive thoughts. Sorry the paper is a little crinkled and stained, but I figured I’d post it in hopes that it will help someone like it helped me.

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It is now impossible to imagine Levi alone lmao. Here whenever we see something about him, it's always about him relationship with the side character...

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"Levi never thought about one comrade without thinking of the other" Meanwhile, Levi goes back to shiganshina to retrieve Erwin's body, and Yams says something similar about only caring about retrieving Erwin's body among all those dead soldiers. It further proves Levi's elevation and care for Erwin above the others, his comrades, and Yams desire to make him very attached to Erwin.

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Don’t get me wrong I don’t dislike Annie but I think the whole “shes fought enough” thing in season 4 was stupid. Because no, she really didn’t? She killed a shit ton of people then slept for 4 years she’s got some atoning to do imo. Like yeah her heart was never in it but neither were Reiner and Bertholdts?? Kinda made me mad especially with how brutally she killed people (Levi squad).