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[fakehappytv-blog]

INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE TO: Lynn Gunn @lynn-gxnn FROM: Fake Happy Television

all other players should read this with ooc eyes

Lynn, you’re one of our very valued stars on this tour. PVRIS’ new album is doing fantastically, and in turn, the growing popularity of your band is bringing viewers and tour-goers in left and right. 

It’s for this reason that one of our showrunners would like to meet with you and speak about something, prior to the Hallowe’en ball. Please be in the lobby of the hotel at 5:35PM precisely, and await their arrival. 

[fakehappytv-blog]

INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE TO: Cara Delevingne @clubpenguinisms FROM: Fake Happy Television

all other players should read this with ooc eyes

Miss Delevingne, first of all we’d just like to say we are so happy you joined us. This message is about the Hallowe’en ball. We’ve noted you don’t seem so excited about the ball, which saddens us greatly. We want all our tour patrons to have an excellent time with us, especially at these events. Everyone has to be in top shape for the cameras. 

Since you seem so fond of certain services... we’ve arranged for an escort to meet you in an assigned hotel room prior to the ball, for a little pep talk. That should brighten you up. The escort will be there when you arrive at 5:00PM, but we’d like for you both to leave together. You may exit the hotel itself separately if you so wish to avoid any paparazzi but you must both be down in the lobby by 5:40PM. 

This might seem a silly idea to you; too risky. But we’re doing you a favor, Cara. What would be risky is not meeting with the escort we’ve went to the trouble of choosing for you. That would result in several of your bank statements from the last couple of years being ‘leaked’ to the press. We’re sure you wouldn’t want that, what with all the payments to various services you’ve generously been handing out. It would certainly be goodbye career, wouldn’t it? 

Make the right choice. Just a little pep talk. That’s all. Smile with your teeth! 

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INCOMING TEXT MESSAGE TO: Joe Jonas @fakenoodleimpasta FROM: Fake Happy Television

all other players should read this with ooc eyes

Hello, Joe. We’re going to cut right to the chase. We value your involvement in our tour greatly. Of course, your previous ‘teen heartthrob’ status as a Jonas Brother has fans flocking to watch you on the show, both old and new. They’re all very eager to see a new romance blossom for you, did you know that?

We noted in your latest confessional that you’re just focusing on yourself right now. That’s important, of course. However, you didn’t say anything about some romantic spontaneity. At the Hallowe’en ball tomorrow, we’d love for you to select someone, ask them to dance... and kiss them on the dance floor. Someone new, someone you don’t really know all too well, or know at all. That’s exciting, isn’t it? Viewers will love it, regardless of whether your advances are rejected or accepted. 

You might be thinking, “What if I don’t want to do that?” Well, Joe, a woman has been contacting us for several weeks now, claiming she gave birth to your son some time ago and she wants in on the show. We couldn’t just take her word for it, of course, we had to get the DNA results. We used a strand of your hair, if you’re wondering. We will be more than willing to share these DNA results with you so you can then confirm or deny that you have a child... but only after your big kiss at the ball. 

Failure to go through with this will release an ‘exclusive’ story to several magazines about your suspected child, plastering the face of this youngster all over tabloids. You wouldn’t want to do that to a kid that might not even be yours, would you? 

But then again... he might be. So get your dancing shoes ready.

[fakehappytv-blog]

Actor, Miles Heizer (@milesofnerve​) interviews Tyler Joseph of twenty one pilots (@implicitdemandfortacobell​) below the cut...

1.   

  What solidified your decision to participate in the Fake Happy Tour and Show?

a.     I thought it would a good opportunity to make some new friends and socialize with other artists, I’ve always been a little bit antisocial so I thought this would be a good way to try to change that. 

2.    

What has been the most pleasant surprise of this experience thus far? What are some ill side effects that you weren’t expecting?

a.     I was surprised by how nice everyone is! I’ve made some really great friends and everyone’s super chill, lots of good people on this tour. I guess I wasn’t really prepared for how involved the reality aspect of the show was gonna be, I mean I obviously knew what I signed up for, but reading it on paper and living it are always two different things.

3.      What do you miss most about home?

a.     Um, this is gonna sound super lame but, my mom. 

4.     Who are your biggest influences both personally and in your career?

a.     My biggest personal influence is my best friend Josh, my biggest influence in my career I would have to say is Freddie Mercury from Queen. 

5.     What has been the highlight of your career so far?

a.     Wow, there’s been so many things in the last 3 years alone. I guess winning a Grammy, that was something Josh and I had joked about from the start of our band and seeing it actually come true was just surreal. 

6.     When did you know that you wanted to be in a band and create music?

a.     When I was in college, I realized I didn’t want to play basketball forever and there was more I wanted to do with my life. 

7.     Do you consider yourself more of a rapper or a singer? Your dynamic is quite interesting and your abilities are incredible. Have you always been able to rap or did you teach yourself?

a.     I don’t consider myself a rapper, people always either praise or make fun of me for rapping but I’m not trying to rap. I’m just singing really fast. I guess I’ve gotten better with time though, I don’t mumble as much as I used to.

8.     What’s something you wish you invented?

a.     I wish I had invented Lunchables, it’s such a genius and simple idea. That guy’s loaded now.

9.     Touring requires a lot of gas station stops and eating junk food. What’s your favorite junk food and gas station treat?

a.     Cherry slushies and rice crispy treats, for sure!

10.     What’s your favorite song to perform live?

a.     I love covering songs, like when we were first starting out and no one knew our songs, we could cover some song everyone already loved and that would get them singing and pumped to be there. Then after that they’d be more responsive to our lesser known music, I still enjoy doing that. But from our songs, my favorite to perform is We Don’t Believe What’s On TV, cause Josh plays the trumpet in it. 

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Chrissy Costanza of Against The Current (@lionchrissy​) interviews Jake Ewald of Slaughter Beach, Dog (@mallratdog​) below the cut...

What solidified your decision to participate in the Fake Happy Tour and Show?  Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. I find myself questioning that decision after every night spent sleeping in a van with three other dudes. I think after my other band, Modern Baseball, announced our hiatus back in March… I needed some time to recover from our insane touring schedule. Once I felt like I was healed from that, I couldn’t wait to get back on the road. So I guess it was a bit of a rash decision on my part.

What has been the most pleasant surprise of this experience thus far? What are some ill side effects that you weren’t expecting? Not to be one of those guys that talks about his girlfriend all of the time, but meeting and getting to know Ashley has been one of the biggest surprises. It’s also really cool to think about all of the friends that I’ve made thanks to this tour. We all come from different backgrounds, walks of life, forms of expression… but we’ve all kind of managed to find common ground. We all kind of feel like a family, and I guess I wasn’t anticipating that strong sense of belonging. On the flipside of things, I think I underestimated how difficult it would be to go back to touring in a van. I got a bit spoiled in the last few years that Mobo was touring around in a bus. 

What do you miss most about home? Privacy is a big one. I also miss not having such a rigid schedule. I miss my cats a lot too… shout out to King Arnold and Moira. And the studio I run back home in Philly.

Who are your biggest influences both personally and in your career? My family has certainly shaped the way that I live my life. While I don’t share their religious values… the morals that were instilled in me from a young age have definitely stuck around.  As far as music goes, I pull from a lot of different places. With Slaughter Beach, Dog… I’ve been trying to cultivate worlds and tell stories of the people that live in them; sometimes they’re fictional, sometimes they’re not. Namely, I’d say people like Joni Mitchell, Johnny Cash, and Alex G have definitely influenced the way that I approach storytelling. Also, bands like Pedro The Lion, The Front Bottoms, Bright Eyes, and Turnover have influenced the style of music I’m making now. 

What has been the highlight of your career so far? I’d probably say when Modern Baseball opened up for Descendents. Being able to share the stage with such post-hardcore legends was just… a fucking treat.

What’s your favourite thing about living in a van? Quite honestly, it’s the pits. Haha. When I first started touring when I was 18, van life was so exciting. Hitting the road for the first few years was such a freeing thing, but now that I’m getting older… sleeping in a van just makes me feel much older than I am. It does make me a bit nostalgic about Modern Baseball’s early days, especially since one of the guys that’s playing this tour with me as Slaughter Beach, Dog is Ian Farmer… Mobo’s bass player. So I guess to answer your question, I’d say reminiscing on old memories, and creating new ones.  

Tour food… hell yeah or oh god no? As long as catering has donuts and burritos, I am set. I’ll say hell yeah to that! Plus… it’s free, and a broke kid musician like me is always about those freebies. 

If you had to compile a Greatest Hits album right this second, which songs would you put on it? I haven’t really put out enough stuff to warrant a Slaughter Beach, Dog Greatest Hits album. Haha But! If I had to choose… I’d throw Monsters, Forever, Mallrat Semi-Annual, Jobs, and Drinks all from my record Welcome and then… Building The Ark, and Your Cat from Motorcycle.jpg, and then also… Gold And Green from my upcoming album, Birdie out October 27th. Aye!

What are three things you always bring on tour with you? Uhm, probably an old school kindle reader… the screen is easier on my old man eyes, andddddd my favorite black Nike hoodie along with at least one hat. 

Dead or alive, name two people you’d love to share a stage with? Can I just say Joni Mitchell twice? Is that allowed? Haha. Let’s throw in David Bazan of Pedro The Lion… that’d be so damn rad.

[fakehappytv-blog]

Mat Uychich of The Front Bottoms (@matshitposts) interviews Otto Wood of Waterparks (@sixthevilexbassplayer) below the cut...

MAT - So, the first question here issssss what solidified your decision to participate in the Fake Happy Tour and Show?

OTTO -  S'good for the band. And it seemed kind of interesting. We weren’t touring at the time, so why not join a bunch of cool people and help the band at the same time?

MAT - Are they any bands that you saw on the roster and thought… “man, we really need to tour with these people”?

OTTO - Mmmmmmmmmm pvris!!

MAT - I don’t blame you at all! Lynn always has so much energy, it’s infectious! What has been the most pleasant surprise of this experience thus far? What are some ill side effects that you weren’t expecting?

OTTO - Lynn is awesome!! Ummmmm I think the most pleasant surprise is that I’ve been making a lot of friends that I never expected to, and the bad stuff is cameras :/ I knew they’d be there but it freaks me out more than I thought it would

MAT - Did you underestimate just how much the cameras would be around? Or is it more of a… you didn’t quite put that much thought into that aspect of it?

OTTO - I guess I just didn’t think about it as much as I should have, and I didn’t realize how much I don’t like them until they were around

MAT - It is a bit jarring. Hopefully as time goes on, they’ll just… fade into the background, and become second nature.

OTTO - I hope so

MAT - You said that you’ve made a lot of friends on this tour - are there any people that you’d like to get to know better?

OTTO - You! And Ryan, Joel, Jake’s sister Josie, Taylor… pretty much everybody! I’d like to get to know everyone

MAT - Me?! Awe, you’re so sweet! I’m sure all of those people, and more, will love you! What do you miss most about home?

OTTO - you're too sweet. Nothing? I live in a crappy apartment, I live for touring. I miss Texas sometimes, the food, mostly, but my actual home? Nothing

MAT - Sounds like you’re really built for the touring lifestyle! What’s your favorite thing to eat back home?

OTTO - Nothing to keep you in place is great for this life, haha. Real Mexican food, tbh

MAT - Maybe we’ll do a South American tour, and you can get some real, real Mexican food! Who are your biggest influences both personally and in your career?

OTTO - That would be awesome. Personally I’m going to be super lame and say Awsten? I look up to him, not that I’d ever tell him that. He’s a lot of things I wish I was. In my career, MCR, because duh, fall out boy, literally any band I used to listen to when I was fifteen and the angstiest teenager. Anyone who started out as a dumb kid and ended up with everything they dreamed of.

MAT - I guess you’re kind of telling him that now, huh? Haha. That makes sense though… you wouldn’t be friends with him if you didn’t like who he is as a person! What would you do if some of those bands showed up on the tour? And also… what would your dream line up be?

OTTO - Oh shit, I forgot about that. Oops, well, I’ll just have to make fun of him extra to get his ego down again. I would… probably try not to freak out. I met Mikey Way, he recorded bass for cluster! I think I almost fainted. Then I met Pete Wentz, kinda, too, and I just nodded a lot. I think my dream lineup would be two hours of my Chem, then fall out boy, panic, brand new, the bands that helped me get through stuff when I was young.

MAT - I think if that were a real tour, a lot of other people would be incredibly excited too. Like… good luck scoring tickets to those shows! Haha. What has been the highlight of your career so far? And what do you think the next step is?

OTTO - I think going on our first headlining tour was the highlight, that was surreal. The next step is probably making more music, letting Awsten be the siren that drags them all to our fanbase, haha.

MAT - I feel you, it’s so crazy when there’s enough people that like your music to warrant a headlining tour. I can’t wait to hear what you guys have in store! Thanks for talking with me. :)

OTTO - Yeah! Thanks, too :)

[fakehappytv-blog]

Ashley ‘Halsey’ Frangipane (@hals-e) interviews John O’Callaghan of The Maine (@dontaskaboutdaisy​) below the cut...

1. What solidified your decision to participate in the Fake Happy Tour and Show?

I think Pat and I, particularly, enjoy these tours because we have the opportunity to discover new artists and watch others do their thing and that’s pretty cool. Hanging out with our friends is also a plus. We just put out an album in the spring so the tour lined up perfectly with our schedule and we were happy to join. 2. What has been the most pleasant surprise of this experience thus far? What are some ill side effects that you weren’t expecting?

Definitely all the new people that I’ve met. I tend to be the dad friend most often than not and I think that’s because I’ve got more experience, not only in the business but in life y’know… [laughs] I’m gonna be honest, it’s because I’m older. So I clicked really well with some of the new acts, particularly the boys in Waterparks. They’re like my little tour sons, specially Otto. As for ill sides… Dealing with so many people, things are bound to happen that you can’t control or that affect you or those close to you more than you’d wish it did, but we try to move past that. 3. What do you miss most about home?

Definitely my dogs Poppy and Ruby. When we don’t sleep at hotels I miss my bed a lot too! Oh, I also miss my coffee machine. 4. Who are your biggest influences both personally and in your career?

Musically, too many to count. I think the music we want to make is kind of a personification of the music we want to hear and the things we do enjoy, so there are too many to mention, specially since the band is not just me, you know? We are five guys trying to mesh our preferences together. Personally, I love Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and things like Beach Slang, Beck and Bob Dylan and Nirvana… Lots of different stuff.

5. What has been the highlight of your career so far? 

Opening for Taking Back Sunday was definitely a dream come true. Adam Lazzara is a wonderful human being and I’ll always cherish the tour we did together. But then they opened of us instead and that was pretty cool too. 6. What are three things you never leave for tour without?

Sunglasses, a book and a list of new bands or albums to listen to. 7. If you could only listen to three albums for the next month, which three would you pick? I’ve been listening to Paradise by Broadside on repeat for weeks. Morning Phase by Beck and um, The Things We Do To Find People Who Feel Like Us by Beach Slang. 8. How are you expecting the rest of the tour to go?

Hopefully as sweet as the start has been.  9. Do you have a favorite place to play shows?

You’ll put me in a compromising place, don’t do this to me. [laughs] Every place has its particularities and we love playing to each and every crowd. We have a bit of a love story with the UK and we have a good following there even though their music tailored magazines always shit talk us. Brazil is also pretty intense. Every time we go there, it’s for a bigger headlining tour than the last one and people queue for hours to meet us, it’s kinda crazy. 10. Can you share some advice for anyone pursuing a career in music?

Believe in yourselves, don’t sell yourselves short and don’t necessarily chime into what other people think. At the end of the day, you have to be happy with what you are doing and if you are making something you have to stand behind it. If you fail, you are doing something that you are really proud of and that you love, so you’ll feel fine with that.  11. How did you meet Flynn, and when did start dating?

I met Flynn on tour a couple of months ago and first we became friends. At some point, it was impossible to deny the attraction we felt for one another so we decided to try it out to see if there was something there, obviously there was. We’ve been together for a month and some, it’s still pretty fresh.

12. Is it weird dating your ex’s brother?

[laughs] I knew this question was coming. Not at all. Hayley is and will always be my best friend. We dated and split on friendly terms too many years ago for it to even be weird.  13. What’s with the Shania Twain shirt? 

Don’t act like you don’t want one.

[fakehappytv-blog]

Jake Ewald of Slaughter Beach, Dog (@mallratdog​) interviews Josh Dun of twenty one pilots (@lameboyjosh) below the cut...

“I got to sit down with one of the coolest guys in the music game right now, Josh Dun of Twenty One Pilots, and dissect his brain a bit… figuratively speaking, of course! Luckily, you get to get a glimpse into some of the stuff we talked about.”

JAKE EWALD: For my first question… I’d like to ask about what solidified your decision to participate in the Fake Happy Tour and Show?

JOSH DUN: Well I joined the tour because I wanted to play shows off the fans and I enjoy playing the drums. I don’t think I can stop.

JE: How did you get turned on to drums? Was there a pivotal moment in your life where you just said “I HAVE to be a drummer” or was it more gradual?

JD: Well growing up I was in music class and I was being taught how to play the trumpet but I was never good at it. So I decided to move to the drums. I didn’t like the idea of someone teaching me how to play so I taught myself listening to albums and imitating the drums on my electric drums.

JE: Honestly, that’s my favorite way to learn anything really. Just dive right in, and figure it out for yourself. It definitely shows that you’ve gotten it figured out; you’re an impeccable drummer.

You mentioned that you imitated other drummers while teaching yourself… who has influenced your playing most? As a bonus… who has influenced you in your personal life?

JD: I didn’t like anyone telling me how to correctly play the drums. I just wanted to learn them myself. Well thank you. You’re making me blush haha.  When I was growing up, my parents were strict on what I could listen to since we were Christian. I didn’t like the options that they were giving me. I would go to the album store and asked what albums the workers would recommend. I remember buying one of Green Day’s album. 

I have a lot of influences. I just remember looking up different drummers and getting some of their styles and contribute them to mine. My personal influences would just have to be my family, I’m thankful that they didn’t stop me from playing my instrument when I knew I was doing something they didn’t like.

JE: Hey, I’m just spitting the truth! You’re one of the most talented drummers doing it right now.

I think if anyone said on this tour that they didn’t have Green Day to thank… they’d be lying. Haha. What’s the most recent record that you’ve picked up?

JD: Oh man, I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much. Haha Green Day is the shit. 

I think the most recent album I have might be PVRIS new album.

JE: Of course! Sounds like your money was definitely well spent then!

Getting back on track, what has been the most pleasant surprise of this experience thus far? What are some ill side effects that you weren’t expecting?

JD: Well before this I’ve been used to just bring me and Tyler on tour with one or two other bands. But this is an experience to live for. I didn’t expect to have so many bands on tour and make so many new friends. Some things that I didn’t expect was to have so many things to do at once that i don’t get to have some time to myself before playing a show.

JE: When you’re playing your own headlining tours, what do you typically like to do pre-show? How do you relax after?

JD: Well I always liked going out to workout and run for a couple of hours before I actually start practicing on my drums for the next hours before the show. That’s how I prepare to play at every show.

JE: Sounds like a good warm up though! Drumming certainly takes a lot out of you… especially with how enthusiastically you play, I’m betting.

We were just in your hometown yesterday, weren’t we? What do you miss most about home while on tour?

JD: You bet right. I’m always out of breath when the show finishes and then I start questioning why I get so hyped while I play.  Yes, my hometown Columbus. Well I specially miss my moms cooking. I had the time to go visit her and get some of her home cooked meal to bring back for Tyler and I.

JE:  Probably because your music is fun to play, and easy to get super into! I tried to drum along to Ride once… needless to say I was out of breath before the first chorus hit. Hahaha.

Oh man… that sounds heavenly! What’s the best thing your mom makes? The dish that every mom should know how to make?

JD: Well maybe one day we should just jam together. I would l love to learn from you haha.

Oh man, that the most hardest question. I love all the food my mom makes. But I think she makes the best chicken Alfredo Ever. It’s so creamy and it’s just delicious

JE: Dude! I have the most rudementary kit, it’s me who would be learning! Haha. Oh god, that sounds heavenly though… next time she makes it for you, mail me a plate?

Aside from inspiring countless other drummers as I’m sure you have… what has been the highlight of your career?

JD: Don’t worry I’ll send you all the food that I think you should try. Or maybe when you’re in town you should come have dinner. Haha

I think the highlight of my career would have to be winning the Grammy with Tyler and just standing there in our underwear

JE: That’s one hell of a way to accept a Grammy! Haha. To wrap things up… what advice do you have for someone trying to break into the music industry?  

JD: Well it takes time to build up the fan base and have people to actually listen to your music. I would say don’t give up on what you want to make and believe in your music.

JE: Sounds like some solid advice! Thanks so much for your time, Josh. I really appreciate it.

[fakehappytv-blog]

Tyler Joseph of twenty one pilots (@implicitdemandfortacobell) interviews Taylor Swift (@swiftingtayls​) below the cut...

What solidified your decision to participate in the Fake Happy Tour and Show?

I decided it’d be a help in taking back the reigns in my own life. I’m sure you’ve heard all the stories. Anyway, this is public and it is deliberate and ultimately, it’s going to help me and my family. So, I guess that’s why.

What has been the most pleasant surprise of this experience thus far? What are some ill side effects that you weren’t expecting?

the best part of this experience has definitely been getting to perform, and see my fans again. I know it’s a generic or “basic” answer, but I really mean it. I’ve missed this. Plus, it’s always exciting to see the reaction to new material, for me. My fans are just really supportive. It’s like seeing family members again after waaay too long, you know? As for the bad… a lot of my exes are hanging around here!

 What do you miss most about home?

 Oh, that’s easy. My little girl, Lovelle. More than anything. I miss my cats too, though.

Who are your biggest influences both personally and in your career?

 Oh jeez. I mean, personally, my mom is a huge influence and my friends are as well. In my carrer… oh man this list gets longer all the time so, I’ll just say when I first started my carrer, I was mostly influenced by Tim Mcgraw, Shania Twain, Reba, Beyonce and Dolly Parton. All people who still really inspire me.

What has been the highlight of your career so far? 

The 1989 Tour

If you had to be stranded on a desert island, what are three things you’d take with you?

I’d probably have to go with one of those industrial sized jugs of spring water, a notebook and a good pair of sneakers. hopefully I could rely on my own wits for anything else.

What does one have to do to join your Squad?

Just be a good person. My “squad” is full of all the most supportive, loving and creative people I know. That’s all it takes. Oh, and a sweet tooth!

Which character from The Office do you identify with?

Oh! Jim, absolutely Jim!

How do you respond to hate/negative attention?

 I try to ignore it, and not respond at all. I truly believe the best revenge is to do well. So, I guess, I respond by continuing to be myself and doing better for myself. Ultimately, karma will handle the people I can’t.

Are you happy?

I… I’ve been happier. I’m not unhappy though. Not unhappy.

[fakehappytv-blog]

John O’Callaghan of The Maine (@dontaskaboutdaisy) interviews Mat Uychich of The Front Bottoms (@matshitposts) below the cut...

John: [sits down next to Mat, offering a hand shake and a smile] Hi buddy, shall we do this?

Mat: Yes, yes. How are we gonna go about it?

J:  I thought we should dive right into it. So, first question is what solidified your decision to participate in the Fake Happy Tour and Show? 

M:  Well! My band, The Front Bottoms, is releasing a new record in about a month. We figured it’d be a good way to promote that. We’ve always loved attending this tour in particular so when we were offered a slot… we jumped at the opportunity!

J:  We’ll have to talk about that album again later! 

M: For sure!

J: What has been the most pleasant surprise of this experience thus far and what are some ill side effects that you weren’t expecting? 

M:  If I’m being honest, I haven’t really been here long. I will say though that the coolest thing so far has been the turnout. We’re not the most easiest band to listen to so it’s a pretty huge thing to see all of the people that are coming out just to dance with us. I don’t think I was expecting to feel so off though. With the timing of when we hopped on the tour, I’ve slept in two different hotels in the past few days. I like routine so that’s been a difficult way to start. I’m hopeful for when things really pick up though, and we’re back on the bus consistently.

J: [nods while he speaks] There’s a really bittersweet feeling to the beginning of a tour, huh? Cause you really wanna play but you also miss the comfort of your home. What do you miss most about home? 

M:  Definitely. I mean… I thought that I’d have lots to distract me with, but it’s slow goings so far. Hopefully once things pick up, I won’t have time to think about home and stuff.  Really just mainly my routine. I’m a creature of habit so being thrown into a new environment, especially when that’s always changing… it’s difficult. And also, even though I was able to bring my dog, Wafflenugget… I miss my other pets.

J:  Who are your biggest influences both personally and in your career?

M:  Honestly, I have no kind of training really… I didn’t even know how to tune drums until a couple of years ago. So all that I know has just been what feels right, and from watching and emulating other drummers. I really love Steve Lamos. The stuff he did with American Football has really shaped me as a drummer, at least I try to make it seem like that. In my personal life, I’d probably have to save my best friend, Brian Sella. I’ve known him since I was five so he’s kind of been there for everything, guiding me and offering a bong rip or a supportive smile. Haha.

J:  What has been the highlight of your career so far? 

M:  Hands down, I’d say opening up for Blink 182 this summer. We’ve been able to share the stage with a lot of cool musicians, but getting drumming tips from Travis Barker, and gushing over Alkaline Trio with Matt Skiba has definitely been the coolest thing so far.

J:  Since you talked about Matt Skiba, who are some of your idols that you’ve been able to meet through the band and did they live up to the expectation?

M:   Uhm… Jesse Lacey is way, way less cryptic outside of his lyrics. He says man and dude almost as much as I do - I guess I was picturing him to be much more serious and less approachable. We’ve also gotten to tour with Say Anything, and Max Bemis is exactly how you’d imagine him. Haha.

J: About that new album of yours, can you tell us anything about it yet? [smiles coyly at the camera, raising his eyebrows]

M:  It’s kind of a culmination of everything that we’ve done so far. With our last album, Back On Top… it was our first time writing stuff under Fueled By Ramen so we weren’t used to things being such a big production. With Going Grey, it feels like we’ve found our footing. It’s a bit more like our first two albums while still progressing forward. It’s all about getting older, wishing that we weren’t, and wondering if we’re too old to be smoking so much pot. It feels good, we’re excited to let everyone hear more than just the first two singles.

J: [gestures with his hands for him to slow down] You mentioned at least four albums there. For people that might not be familiar with your band, can you give me a little bit of a rundown of your band? How many years you’ve been doing this, how many albums you have…

M:  Oh God, we’ve put out a lot music. Including EPs, we’ve got 10 that we’ve released, be 11 come October 13th. This’ll be our 5th record put out on a label… the rest is stuff that we recorded and pressed ourselves. For the first handful of years, we stuck to our DIY way of doing things; from booking our own tours, paying for everything ourselves… recording the music in our friend’s attic. We just liked it all; playing shows was only the tip of it. We started The Front Bottoms when I was 17 so ten years we’ve been doing the thing, which is crazy to think about. Brian’s lyrics really speak to people though so I think we’ll keep going until we’re too decrepit to tour. He has a way of talking about specific experiences, but in such simple words that they resonate with a lot of people listening to our music. He has this really cool ability to use only 11/16ths of the dictionary to come up with some really interesting perspectives. Don’t make me try to define our genre, because I don’t think we really fit anywhere. Haha.

J: [laughing]  We’ve taken the inverse path. We started with a label and became independent about six to seven years ago.

M:  Maybe we’ll take a play out of The Maine’s book, and follow suit. Haha.

J:  I mean, it works for us. [shrugs] If someone were to start listening to your band right now, what are the five top songs you’d recommend? And are there any that you absolutely hate?

M:  That’s such a tough one. I guess the most quintessential TFB songs would probably be Lipstick Covered Magnet off of Rose, Maps off of our self-titled album, Twin Size Mattress off of Talon of the Hawk is probably the song we’re most known for, uhmmmm… West Virginia off of Back On Top always gets people hype, and I guess our latest single Vacation Town. Some of those aren’t necessarily my favorites or like… the undisputed best songs of ours, but they definitely paint a clear picture of who we are as a band; if you like those ones… you’ll probably like our stuff.

J:  What’s your favorite place that you’ve been with the band?

M:  I’m gonna have to say Germany. Lots of good, tall pints of beer, and I have family ties there. I got to go see the house that my grandma grew up in before the second world war. She was always my favorite relative so it was neat to kind of get a sense of her life before she came over to America. As far as my favorite place to play a show… nothing beats the atmosphere at home state shows in Jersey.

J:  Have you been to South America yet? It’s absolutely crazy there. [smiles, eyes widening as he talks about the place] M:  We haven’t, actually! Hopefully we’ll get there at some point! We’ve only done North America, Europe, and Australia so far but we’ve been to each place loads.

J: [laughs] I always feel like a true celebrity when we go to Brazil or the Philippines. [more laughter, throws his head back] They follow us everywhere.

M: Thats really cool though! Do you guys have a big following over there?

J:  I guess it’s about the same in the other countries. Like, you hardly hear us on the radio and we’re not reaaaally famous but since we go there once every two years or so, people really follow us when we do go.  Okay so now it’s just a curiosity of mine. If you weren’t a musician, what job do you think you’d be doing?

M:  I’d definitely be a carpenter. I have a shop back home, woodworking was really my first love even before drumming. I have an Associates in Sustainable Architecture and Design… maybe make use of that.

J:  Last question. [leans in to seem like an important question] Does miss Wafflenugget want to be friends with Poppy?

M:  This is my favorite question of all time! I think she really, really would! I can tell that she’s been missing her other animal friends so I think that would be really great for her. She plays super well with other dogs… she’s like a little mom!

J: I’m afraid that’s all that we have time for. But thank you so much for your time dude, this has been awesome!

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A couple of weeks ago, a handful of our tour patrons agreed to participate in our Peer Interview Event. Over the next week, we’ll be sharing all the hairy details our talent managed to uncover about one another. Keep your eyes glued to your screens... every day at 7:30pm EST, we’ll be airing one of these juicy interviews - you don’t want to miss it!

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Three's A Crowd (EPISODE 005)

Life on the Fake Happy Tour has certainly been nothing short of exciting - from an unexpected power outage that left many in the dark to notes of jealousy, and even rage... we've got a little bit of something for everyone in our latest episode. 

While everyone was focused on packing up their gear in the dark during an expected near city-wide power outage in Georgia, a few of our newcomers seemed to be absent amongst the chaos. In Wyatt Thorne's latest confessional, he can be seen bruised black and blue... but who sparred with the guy that's gotten quite the scary rep going for him already? They say it's the quiet ones that you need to watch out for, and in Mat Uychich's case... that couldn't be anymore spot on. The two men were caught in an intense brawl outside the venue with none other than Joel Kanitz standing close by. No word yet on what sparked this fight, but from the looks of Thorne's condition... it seems that Uychich, the underdog, came out on top. We suspect that things could've been much worse if it wasn't for Joel's intervention despite both of the other men involved making strikes at him. Seems Kanitz is staying true to his word about violence not being the answer! Just a shame he got a bloodied lip in the process. 

 Another less violent group seems to have made physical contact with each other. Truthfully, we're surprised it took so long into the tour for a threesome to occur, but Margot Robbie, Cara Delevingne, and Amber Heard certainly wasted no time settling in before bumping all of their uglies together. Interestingly, it seems that all wasn't fun and games for Ms. Heard especially... no, she's caught feelings for one of the participants in what may just be the most sought-after celebrity sex tape in the history of Hollywood. Of course it's not just a matter of two people vibing more with each other than their third wheel... it’s come to light that Cara has recently been linked to none other than Lynn Gunn. Now if only Lynn had been present that night... we’re sure that would up the value of our footage by at least $10,000. It's a little too explicit for your screens so we've kept a whole lot of it blurred, but the parties involved are clear. You know what they say... three's a crowd. But maybe four's just right? Perhaps they should have round two and invite Lynn this time. 

It’s unclear if Lynn is aware of any of this, but we've got our cameras glued in the hopes that she doesn't. Jealousy is a dish best served hot, and this plate is steaming. 

Luckily for our viewers, we have another green-eyed monster already in effect to hold them over. Hockey star, Tyler Seguin, has his eyes set on the ever charitable Kyra Santoro. While she might be focused on her Fuck Cancer charity work that hits close to home for her, Kyra also seems to be entertaining another cause -- Joe Jonas. While Nick, has been worried about his seemingly AWOL older brother... all he had to do was ask us his whereabouts; Joe has been caught not once, but two times, leaving the Fuck Cancer camp in the early morning hours. Tough luck, Tyler. 

In lighter news, thanks to our four-day break in sunny Orlando... some of the parents on tour used this time to bring their children along for a day of wholesome family fun. Among the parent/child duos were Lights Poxleitner and her daughter Rocket with Joel Kanitz tagging along; Louis Tomlinson and his boy, Freddie; Wyatt and his daughter Malia who he affectionately calls Elf; and even Jordan Witzigreuter was spotted with a mystery child. 

Of course, it wasn’t all family fun at the happiest place on Earth -- the mushiest couple on Earth, Ashley Frangipane and Jake Ewald, were seen holding hands in the park as well. Of course, their love is old news at this point. More curiously, our cameras caught Louis Tomlinson making a rare public appearance, and this time... Freddie was no where in sight. Who accompanied him on this second Disney trip, you might ask, if not his young child? Louis was spotted cozying up with fellow singer, Brendon Urie. 

It’s a good thing Brendon was too busy to notice that his former bandmate and lover, Ryan Ross, took Twenty-One Pilots frontman Tyler Joseph on a date of their own. Thankfully, one of our camera operators was up for the task of going undercover to catch footage of the pair enjoying a day at the aquarium. 

Another date took place, this one much more average in venue. And perhaps not all that unexpected? Ben Kowalewicz seems to have long forgotten about his hang-up on Taylor Swift in favor of Swift’s longtime frenemy, Demi Lovato. While it might seem that Demi is the one that came out on top, if you’re asking us... a run of the mill dinner date is nothing to be jealous of. Taylor seems to be far too busy stuck in her fantasy world with her daughter, Lovelle, to be bothered. Perhaps things worked out the way they were supposed to after all! 

With the North American leg of the Fake Happy Tour nearing it’s end, there’s not much time left for our stars to cause a ruckus to get some camera time. If this week’s episode is of any indication... we have faith that our fall finale won’t disappoint. Until next time -- don’t forget to smile with your teeth!

[fakehappytv-blog]

Otto

Otto’s been having a hard time, but he seems to be over his little crush on Ashley already. Or maybe that’s all pretend to get Jake back on his side? Cunning. 

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Brendon

It must be awkward sharing the tour with an old flame, hm? I wonder if that flame is totally extinguished, though. 

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Tyler

Harbouring a crush and in a very good mood... but also hoping to get punched in the face? Okay, that’s a little bit of a joke. Nobody wants to punch Tyler... do they? 

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Nick

Nick’s needing a little more support than usual... maybe he should hit up his brother more often. 

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Mat Uychich

Mat’s a little shy... he even had an early night during the blackout the other night, but it looked like he was with someone. Shy or shacking up? You guys decide.