fancyflautist - Tumblr blog

[fancyflautist]

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[fancyflautist]

My twitter is mostly for wordle and michael medrano stannage these days, why not bring that shit to tumblr too 😂

[fancyflautist]

2019. I'm sitting alone in a closed off room, smoking on blunts and writing prolific amounts of Buffy fanfic to fill the void that my "best friends" moving out had put in me. They'd chewed me up and spat me out, and for the millionth time in my life the only person I could call a friend was my partner. I'd taken to going through my Discover Weekly because I was desperate for music that fit how I felt. And as I was sitting there, heartbroken and alone even though I had someone who loved me, I first heard the song Easier. And it hit me SO hard, I sobbed and listened over and over and over and over and over. Being "broken" and in a relationship is so hard, especially when your own brain sabotages every move you make, and the song just GOT me.

Flash forward to the LSD release and i know it's hell. I have a best friend who has stood beside me for years, who doesn't take advantage of me or hate me for caring. My mental health is finally doing a little better and I'm no longer blaming myself for things I can't change. And in comes the lyrical update of "it's my fault that I'm helpless" to "it's my fault, I can't help this" and I was FLOORED. Gut autism brain said "wait no changes" of course, but it only took a few days to realize just how much healthier and BETTER the new version is.

Now we have KKBB. My grandma's dementia and having to sell her house has been... killing me slowly. As much as I try to cope, I kind of don't think I actually am. I hear lyrics like "bleeding out for you my love, and what I thought forever was" and it just guts me, but in the best way. It's such a high energy "Im gonna be okay" vibe on top of heart wrenching lyrics and it's BEAUTIFUL.

I genuinely have no words for how much your work has gotten me through, and continues to this day. The world is genuinely better for what you create and put out into it.

single no. 3 ‘kiss kiss bang bang’ is out now 💋💥

this one might be the most important part of the MM2 story. this song was born the night i died. you can literally google ‘michael medrano kiss kiss bang bang’ and find the night i conceptualized this song — and the whole era really.

grief is incredibly hard to process, especially when it’s sudden and swift. i was in the room with people i thought were going to change my life forever. i wasn’t exactly poor growing up, but my family struggled for as long as i can remember. i moved 4 times, my dad worked his ass off and we still couldn’t afford to live somewhere comfortably. this caused turmoil and constant instability in my household, which in turn led to some really traumatic times i wish i could forget.

so when you end up in this kitschy club with incredibly successful and wealthy people, you suddenly feel wow… the struggle is over. i’ll finally get to take care of my family. they’ll never have to abruptly move again or live under a landlord who won’t even fix a broken fridge. i can take care of myself and everyone i love — i can have it all. and i’m about to sign the paper that puts it all in motion.

i remember my creative director at the time kept telling me to “never forget how incredible” i am. over and over again. going as far to call me “the next weeknd”. it was in that moment, high off of a shroom pill, i knew they’d killed me. my project was dead. and before i could wrap my head around it, i found myself sitting in the corner of a dingy karaoke suite watching it all end in slow motion. in my mind, i like to pretend it was more of a penthouse suite decorated to look like a humble, midcentury modern dream. they did go all out and get the most expensive suite anyway, as they always had.

the next day, everyone goes silent on me. texts aren’t replied to anymore. resources are cut off. album plans gone. the mystical “sylvia” i’ve been told so much about had vanished. it is probably the most devastating heartbreak i’ve gone through right next to my mom initially rejecting me once i was outed… a story for another time.

so i sat down in my tiny hometown apartment. and cried. drove to literally nowhere screaming at 3 am. praying that maybe they’d come back around and save me. but no one was coming — i was in free fall. alone again and so suddenly, like a rug pulled from under me or gunshot to the head. after months of the endless spiral, i got back to working a regular part time job, hating this life i was once again trapped in. but one day, after all that grief welled up inside me, i started writing again. and writing. and writing. and writing. i’d never been so angry in my life. i’d also never been so fucking determined. and now, here we are. 3 years later. 3 singles deep into MM2. and so much has changed.

never did i think id be sitting in the middle of hollywood in my new apartment, typing this and pulling and all-nighter to get the music video out to over 100k fans listening to me every month. my little guy abel laying next to me while my partner hacks away at editing.

i might not have the deal yet. i might not have the money or the team yet. but i woke up from the nightmare one day and you were all right there in front of me. i love you all so much and i hope you love this song as much as i do. MM2 is coming and i hope you’re ready, because i finally am.

[fancyflautist]

LoveSexDrugs ‘𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓸𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓮𝓽 𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷’ — celebrating one year of my debut project 🌊💋✨ comes with a free downloadable vault track that didn’t make the cut 🌴

pre-order: https://www.diggersfactory.com/vinyl/317933/michael-medrano-lovesexdrugs-new-drop

↓ ↓ ↓

it’s been a full year since i dropped this project and it’s been transformative. we went with this design & concept for a couple reasons, but mainly because it was shot in palm springs, a very important location in my story.

during the creation of the album, i retreated to the gay desert for a lot of reasons. stress from being stuck in my tiny hometown apartment, a need for open space to create, label meetings… and sometimes i just wanted to cum with a daddy, sue me! i wrote a lot of the album there including disco sleaze (the shoot this is taken from) so it felt right.

as time has passed, i’ve watched the love for the album to grow. i’ve even seen some fans start taking the “his old music was better” and “i miss the disco era” position; it’s nice to see them become so protective of an era that was so pivotal for me.

it was successful, but the project was abandoned by the label before it even got a chance; i always thought it was my fault. i realize now that it wasn’t and in spite of the mixed personal feelings i have around it, i regret nothing.

my lifelong dreams slipping out of my hands turned out to be the greatest heartache i’ve ever felt. it’s funny the way we have to experience such intense levels of heartbreak to get where we need to be. the theme of LSD has always been love lost then found again. i love that it’s tattooed on my arm, i love that it led me to this new era, i love the LOVE that went into the project. it’s all so special and something i will cherish for the rest of my life.

the next album is 95% done, i can’t wait to show you what’s next. lovesexdrugs was truly just the beginning.

[fancyflautist]

Always kinda gotta laugh when people describe Spike and Angel's relationship as "brotherly" or "they're like brothers" or "yeah I could kinda see them as brothers but there was never anything romantic/sexual there". Like, bestie, they've canonically had sex. Just cause we didn't see it onscreen doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's actually been canonized that they slept together. And like "I don's ship them romantically but I like them as friends" like yeah that's valid. Ship and let ship. But like I could never describe their relationship as brotherly. They've literally had sex.

[fancyflautist]

example of the new argument ender, BTVS edition

person 1: Spike is great. Spuffy is endgame.

person 2: Nope, Angel is better. Angel is clearly endgame.

me ending the argument, yelling in a super loud voice: WHAT'S THE CAPITAL OF NEBRASKA, OHIO, AND MONTANA?

person 1 and 2: *exchange confused looks*

me in a smug checkmate voice: WITHOUT GOOGLE point to them on an UNLABELED map of the USA. PLEASE

person 1 and 2 in unison: what? who TF is this idiot?

[fancyflautist]

PORNSTAR ☆ NEXT FRIDAY 2.9 ☆ RSVP NOW

something i love to do in my music is hide in plain sight. i didn’t expect to drop this song first, but the internet chose it for me and honestly im glad it did — it lit a fire in me & my fans alike. i haven’t felt this excited for a release in such a long time.

on the surface, you’re gonna listen to this one and hear a sexy, sleek and almost silly club anthem that’s very obviously inspired by the days of blackout and benny benassi. but this one does run a little deeper than it appears.

i told you before that i started this project (yes, it’s a project now) writing about my experience with my first major label and that rings true in this release too. the industry is the pornstar, fucking me like a fantasy i’d only watch alone. pornstars are performers, porn is a facade, and even though we’re both in the industry of pleasure, many of them will tell you it’s a lot of fucking and even more faking. porn & music aren’t all that different from each other when you look at it through this lens, no?

i chose to only sing in my lower register for this one — the verses are a depeche mode-like melancholy while the choruses drop into a fully sexed up 2007 euro dance record. i want you to feel the push and pull of getting fucked. and i want the audience to know how used i felt by the end.

but i’m not one to write a downer of a song, so i masked it very carefully. i want you to have fun, because i refuse to live in the anger, sadness and disappointment i once lived with — you deserve the fantasy.

xxx version will drop on twitter only the same night of the release. i’ll see you very soon ;)

- MM

[fancyflautist]

everybody shut up about clubs i dont care

[fancyflautist]

i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.

[fancyflautist]

Prithee tell. What is 'ligma'?

[fancyflautist]

[fancyflautist]

[fancyflautist]

wanting and not wanting at the same time

a comic for asexual awareness week

[fancyflautist]

depiction is not the same as glorification and I need people to get that 

[fancyflautist]

I don't think anyone appreciates how funny Pope Franics actually is. Imagine being elected to the head of an over the top bad guy organization that would make you the final boss of a jrpg, and you spend your entire time there sitting around and saying things like "maybe we should reconsider our 'people dying is good' policy. I'm not saying we should reverse the 'people dying is good' policy, it's been our policy for thousands of years after all, but maybe we should, oh I don't know. Reconsider it." And every time you do so it causes half of a major world religion to get so pissed off that it almost causes a religious schism

[fancyflautist]

I love when you meet someone and you just click. You know you’re supposed to be friends or lovers or something. You just know the universe said “you two, yeah you, don’t leave each other’s side okay?”. Here’s to meeting awesome new people and forming amazing new bonds.