fanggrali

[fanggrali]

Free Flying

Summary: Summer was rough, being stalked wasn't pleasant. You felt isolated, alone, paranoid. A trip to the astronomy tower one sleepless night may end all that, until you're interrupted. content and warnings: theo nott x ravenclaw!reader, implied suicide attempt, smoking, some swearing, stalking themes, mentions of violence, PTSD. word count: 1.6k

Going about everyday was getting harder and harder. Hogwarts usually makes you bubbly with excitement. What's to come this year? What will I learn? This year is different. This year you couldn't think about anything else than what if's. What if he found me? What if he's just waiting for me? What if he hurt's dad? Mom? Your aunt and uncle? Your baby cousin? There's no rational chance that he can find you at Hogwarts. He's a muggle, he couldn't possibly. But what if he followed me to King's Cross? Could we have exposed wizardry to him? That would mean that no where is safe. You need to watch your back, be wry of everyone and everything.

"There you are!"

Your whole body jerked as the compartment door opened, panic rising and then falling as quick as it came. It was just your friends. Your friends who you couldn't bother to go see this summer because you were worried about him following you to their houses.

"We really missed you this summer," Wyatt said, plopping down on the seat across from you. Maya pulled you into a tight side hug, it was comforting. "You never returned our owls."

"We were starting to worry!" Maya passed me a photo album over to me. It was her own scrapbooking, which she loved to do, documenting everything you'd missed throughout the summer. You felt an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Guilt probably. It's not like you wanted to ignore them, but you couldn't take the risk.

"I know, I'm sorry, really, I am—" The compartment door opened up again, it was the Sweets Trolley. Swallowing a lump in your throat you watch as Maya and Wyatt exchange with the lady, thanking her as they get their chocolate frogs. "Anyways," Wyatt says with his mouth full of chocolate. He tossed the card over his shoulder, landing on top of his jumper. "Where were you?"

"Busy, my dad had a lot of work to do, I was helping him out. At his accounting firm." The lie came easy, almost too easy. You felt like you're becoming a habitual liar. You didn't want that.

The remainder of the train ride you sat in silence, only humming every now and then. You stared out the window, watching the trees, the birds. Not knowing how your friends noticed how you were spaced out, fidgety and jumpy whenever there's loud banging or commotions.

Your stalker never even came face to face with you and yet you were completely and utterly susceptible to him. The letters, the flowers, the dresses he'd say he want you to wear, the pictures he took of you, the phone calls. You were drowning in it all. How much longer could you keep trying to get back up to the surface?

Every Great Hall feast was decadent, but you couldn't enjoy it this time. The uneasy feeling was just making you sick. You picked at a piece of bread, watching around the hall. You know that he isn't here and yet, you couldn't stop yourself from being on the lookout.

Just a table over, you saw nothing out of the ordinary from the Hufflepuffs. Everyone was smiling, laughing, enjoying their meal. You spotted the Weasley twins when they let out a loud cry of laughter, pointing at Seamus who had fallen victim to a pepper imp. There was a small smile the crept up on your face. They never failed to make anyone laugh.

Your eyes continued scanning all the way to the other side of the hall. The Slytherin table wasn't quite as cheerful, however, it was bustling with chatter and bragging as the rich kids flaunted their expensive new supplies.

An owl swooped in, causing more uproar in the hall as it carried a broom all the way down to the Slytherin table. It plopped the it down into none other than Draco Malfoy's lap. He ripped the package open to a brand new broom, no doubt for the upcoming Quidditch season. You watched as he was surrounded by his teammates and they all scattered off to try it out.

Except for Theodore. He sat back down at the table, helping himself to more sausage rolls and mashed potatoes.

Theodore was the classmate that you knew of but never would get the change to get to know. All you knew about him was that he was a pureblood Slytherin who plays Quidditch. You couldn't help but think about how much he knew about you.

Your spine straightened as you shifted uncomfortably, your thoughts immediately going back towards the person who knew way too much about you.

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You've already lost one hundred and fifty points for Ravenclaw in the first week of classes. This wasn't like you and everyone seemed to know it. Maya kept asking if everything was okay and Wyatt was trying his best to help you by copying his notes out for you. Professor Flitwick even pulled you aside to ask you how you've been.

"I'm fine! Really, I guess I'm just having a hard time adjusting this year." Who were you trying to convince? Them or yourself?

You were anxious all the fucking time and slept horribly which caused you to barely keep your eyes open in classes. You didn't even join any clubs this year either. Nothing but him was on your mind. It made you angry. Why couldn't you just shake it off? Forget about it. He can't find you. He's a muggle, a mere human. You could make him forget you with one wave of your wand.

Yet you found yourself trudging up the steps of the astronomy tower at 3:56 am, exhausted and numb. Nothing will work. He'll find you. You'll forever be scared of him watching you, following you, maybe even eventually capturing you.

The drop was pretty long. If you remembered from the book you read the astronomy tower is over a hundred feet high. Surely you wouldn't survive that, even with magic. The thought scared you. Is this really what it's come to? Are you this pathetic? This weak?

You closed your eyes as you gripped onto the railing, leaning over it as everything sunk in. You just have to climb over—

An awful hacking sound snapped you out of your thoughts as you threw yourself backwards away from the railing. Your back slammed into the post behind you, you breathing staggered as you gasped over at Theo.

He was doubled over, his arm across his mouth as his sounded like he was about to cough up his lungs. You blinked rapidly as his coughing died down and he stood upright to stare at you.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Scare me? You nearly made me fall over the rail!" Well, that was only partly true. "What the fuck are you doing up here?"

"Smoking," he deadpanned, lifting his left hand up to flash the cancer stick. "And I could be asking you the same question, Bella."

Silence filled the air as you both stood there starring at each other. How long has he been here? Did he see you come up? Did he catch on to what you were going to do?

A million thoughts raced through your mind and you felt like you no longer had control of your body. Your vision blurred and your ears started ringing. What was happening? Why did you feel like you could just drop dead any minute? You reached out for the railing to steady yourself, only grasping onto it for a second before you were being pulled away and guided to the ground.

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Theo watched as the color drained from your face and your body start to sway. He didn't think about anything he just dropped his cigarette, stomped it out and reached out to you as you reached for the railing. He guided you to the floor, trying to get you to look at him.

"Bella, you're okay," his hands gently came up to hold the base of your head and his right left thumb caressed your cheek, trying to reassure you that it was okay. "Breathe, you're safe, you're okay."

But clearly it wasn't, he just watched you walk up to the edge of the astronomy tower and lean over the rail like you were about to throw yourself off.

"He-he's going to- he-he will, I can't, I can't—"

Theo had no idea what you were going on about, but he felt an unfamiliar feeling grow in his stomach as he watched you mumble incoherently. Whoever this guy is needs to be hexed, he thought. Or sent to Azkaban. Theo couldn't help but scan your arms, he felt sort of relieved when he saw no bruises.

"He isn't here, Bella," he wiped the tear that rolled down your cheek and pushed your hair out of your face. He shifted, fully sitting on the ground with you now, pulling you into him. "He can't do anything, I won't let him."

"Promise?"

It was enough to make Theo grind his teeth. Seriously who is this guy? And what did he do to you? Theo nodded, tapping on your back rhythmically. After a few minutes you calmed down and Theo understood that you'd both be here until the sun rises because he wasn't about to leave you alone.

"Maybe I should start hating muggles more too, " you said softly, catching Theo by surprise. A muggle? Fuck, he couldn't do shit then. Your body shook from a stifled laugh. "Stereotypical, sorry."

"I do hate whichever muggle has made you this distraught, Bella."

You smiled, sitting up and finally looking him in the eyes for the first time tonight.

"Take me out on your broom?"

You were full of surprises tonight. Theo tilted his head to the side, questioning why you wanted to go flying and not really sure if that was the best idea, all things considering.

"It's freeing, isn't it?" you asked him. "Flying?"

"Yes, Bella, yes it is."

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[fanggrali]

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so you've stumbled onto my blog! @ fanggrali

fang. early 20s. she/her. aquarius. art. completely in love. white-washed asian. anxiously depressed. brain goes 200 mph.

master list:

✎ harry potter ✎ criminal minds ✎ my own

disclaimer ! please do not plagiarize, some works contain sexual content (18+), expect infrequent posting. I DO NOT SUPPORT JKR