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[faroutspaceman-blog]

[faroutspaceman-blog]

Don’t you ever just plan your life out when you’re 12 years old. You tell yourself that your life will be better. You're gonna do something with your life. When you’re 18 years old, you're gonna do something revolutionary, you're gonna change the world, travel, do something..Anything..because it's better than sitting here wrapped in your own doubt and misery and you desperately want something else. something new. Now your 18, with semi failing grades, sitting in the back of your friends car as they pass you a phat bowl, a corona, or even a cig, whatever and you're thinking “how the fuck did i get here.” I was supposed to do something great with my life right now. But this is me. postponing my SATs, half assed applying to colleges, and couch surfing at friends houses. I haven't done anything great with my life. I've just been doing nothing but wasting myself away still wishing i had a dream to chase again.

[faroutspaceman-blog]

I smoke so that one day I'll have a voice like Janis Joplin.

[faroutspaceman-blog]

My weekend so far. . 1/2 -1/4/19

My weekend starts off on Wednesday because quite frankly I can't remember what I did Monday or Tuesday. Those days are now non-existent. Forever lost in the trash bin of my deep ugly brain. Here I am laying on my bed, bored out of my fucking mind. I strum a lil guitar, sing a little, but put it back away because I realize I'm still as shit at guitar no less than I was 5 minutes before i picked it up. Now the only logical thing to do is sit and stare at my ceiling loudly moaning irritated grunts of boredom at my innocent ceiling. I get up and decide to make the most extravagant fucking sandwich. Well it was subpar, I usually put lettuce on it but we were out so I settled for a greenless burger. Whatever. I go to sit back on my bed and enjoy my sandwich, when I get a call. I fucking shoot up and tap that answer call like I just felt a rush of heroin in my blood. Thank the fucking lord. My brain almost had an aneurysm from how bored I was. My friend Vanessa and her Boyfriend (who happens to be my ex lover, love that..fuck) asks me if I wanna hang.

Me: "why yes I do want to chill, but if I'm still eating my sandwich by the time you pull up, your ass is waiting at the driveway."

Them: "we have Goldfish and Arnold Palmer's tea"

Me *while stuffing the whole sandwich in my mouth* : SAY NO MAS IM READY

I get on my new Blockbuster hoodie I bought the day before (yes from the world's only Blockbuster left in my Local Bend, Oregon.) And some jeans I found on the floor. I grabbed my keys and my bag and phone. Hiked up my driveway (which let me tell ya was a whole fucking mission in itself. ) Hall ass down my street I see Vanessa's car and they're driving like maniacs down my dirt road so I obviously take advantage of the situation and throw a peace sign into the air and lay in front of her car ready for my death. She stops and I hop in and am greeted with both my promised food items. I was very happy. We drive to a friend's house about a few miles from my house because we need to refill our pods with juice because ya know.. gotta get that nicotine rush. We had 8 full pods to last us the day. (They did not last for 3 people.)

After we fill our pods, we head down to Redmond, Oregon to the local 24 great Walmart to do what ever because we were bored, I decided to challenge my friends to a game of Hide n seek, and I was the only one who hid because they were being lame. I won it took them 40mins to find me. I was in the office supply Ile. After we went to Walmart, we went to Fred Meyers. stole their WiFi and lounged on their couches until it closed. Nothing special pretty boring.

Then Johnny, Vanessa's Boyfriend, gets the bright idea to swing by his house to see if his parents have packed up to leave to Idaho. If they are gone, Johnny plans to break into his own house ( I say break In because he just got kicked out.. again for refusing to be Mormon and for smoking and going against his parents) They are not gone yet so we decide to go to our chill spot which is way up on this hill where you can see all of Redmond. We talk, watch vines, etc.

Anyway I decide to go outside and look around, as I'm looking around Vanessa joins me. We are across from the car and we look around and I find this underwire leopard print bra a smashed TV and a lone boot. So I was already like "what the actual fuck happened here?"

I still forward towards the TV and there I see it, an empty grave, it looks fresh. I turn to Vanessa and she's already booked it back to the Car with me right behind her. We lock the doors and turn on Nextflix (we were watching Chappie).

Halfway through the movie, this man in a green Subaru pulls up next to our car. This is already fuckin weird because only few know about this road.he parks his car a lil ways from ours, cuts off his lights and just idles. At first were cautious but he just seemed to be doing the same we were, so our fear eventually subsided. We finished our movie, the car was still parked, and we pull out to check to see if Hunters parents had left. As we were pulling away we saw that the man had a blond haired woman in her car, but not to be rude she looked like a hooker. He was probably waiting for us to leave and we accidentally rang this man's bill up 200 an hour. Oops.

We checked Johnnys house. They're still there. Guess we're sleeping in the car tonight. We decide to try and find some food, we pull into Domino's and order a large pizza. As we're waiting for pizza, I joke able how I've cut my Cornea in the most retarted way to Vanessa's boyfriend. I move my hands to get the hair out of my face, and the string to my hoodie cuts my eye. At first I thought there was just something in my eye so I start rubbing it. It really fucking hurts. I close my eyes and black thinking it will go away but it never does. We drive back to the chill spot and on the way back, we see that green Subaru on the main Street leaving from our spot,but I saw no girl this time. Who knows we were gone a long fucking time. Must have dropped her off a few ways back. We get back in on the hill I manage my eye to keep the excess light out of it and my friends play Madea boo 2 on next. When the movie ends we decide to just go to sleep on the hill. I'm a little pissed at this point because I just wanted to chill and not murder my eyeball.

We put her back seat down and I'm on the far edge in the backseat wishing I never came because maybe if I stayed home this wouldn't of happened. Then there's a knock on the window. Not like an accidental hit it was clearly a knock. I dont say anything, it isn't acknowledged between any of us. I try and sleep and Johnny is freaking out

"dude are you fucking hearing this. It sounds like footsteps and dragging outside."

I don't hear shit so Ignore it. Then Vanessa starts hearing it. And I know she doesn't lie so I'm flipping my shit at this point. Vanessa jumps into front seat and She whips her car off the hill so fast we was cooking.

We end up driving back to Walmart to get me eyedrops in hope it'll make it better. As Vanessa is running in to get eyedrops, this girl stops us to ask if she can use her phone because her friends ditched her at Walmart ( what fuckin assholes. ) She waits away from our car for her friend, and she quickly comes back telling us that a man asked if she wanted a ride home and a smoke.we told her to wait with us because I was suspicious that it was the man in the green Subaru.

Vanessa's comes back with the eyedrops and we leave the parking lot without the girl. I strangely don't remember saying goodbye to her but we did apparently? We park in the neighborhood and get back into the backseat of the car. We play never have I ever until 4 am. We fall asleep and wake up at 6:30 am. I'm still asleep I. The back seat when I hear Johnny's happy that his parents are gone, he tries to look for ways back into his house but it's a no bueno. They drives to lowes while I pretend to be asleep on the backseat of the car. All I heard was lockpick and Saw and I already knew someshit was about to happen.

They park back at Johnny's house and I stay in the car. About 10 minute later Johnny comes back In the car and yells "we got it". Sweet so the lock picked worked? Nope they sawed a hole in the backdoor. He is for sure going back to jail after this. Vanessa guides me inside because I'm blind and can't see. We sit on the couch i call an eye doctor in bend and make an appointment for 4pm, for Johnny's uncle that happens to coincidentally be an eye doctor. He lives a block away from Johnny. Around 12 pm. We leave Johnny's house and go look for other things to do I. The area.

We pull into this Freshman's driveway,(Tom) and lets get this straight, Tom is fucking annoying and no one likes him because he is a fein for pods and nicotine, that and he thinks he's tough shit. Proud why he got excelled. We've had to help him with every fight he's been in. Trash.

We chill at his house for a while, and eventually his step mom walks in and kicks us out "get out of my house, I don't like kids having sex on my couch"

Honestly we just came over to steal his food. His step mom is such a joke. She has the biggest crush on our friend Jason. We could honestly break apart that whole marriage and cause such a scandle with that information. Anyway it's about 2pm now, my appointment is in two hours. We drive to the park and wait.

5 minutes later Tom skates to us on his long board, asks if he can hang and throws his board I the trunk.

Fuck. Just when I thought I was gonna get away from this kid. We drive by away from the park and go towards bend for my appointment. The whole car ride he blows his burnt vape in my fave and it smells like ass. I asked him to stop. He didn't. We stop at the grocery, I stay in the car, while Tom takes a smoke break out the car while Johnny and Vanessa shop. 3 minutes pass and he asks if I want a smoke.

"no that shits nasty"

"come-on. They don't even taste like stogies. They smell soo good*

He shoves the pack of cigs in my face and I was getting pissed. The only way to get rid of his prized cigs is to threaten his prized cigs.

"if you don't get that shit out of my face rn, I swear I'll rip them all up then spit on them"

"I'll beat ur ass if you do"

I just smirked at him as he took his cigs back and closed the door.

It's about 3:45 and we head to my appointment. Vanessa directs me to the office. And it's so bright in there, I instantly start crying which makes my eyes hurt even more. I honestly have never wanted to just instantly die in a moment than now. I just want to stop hurting. I'm finally able to open my eyes and the office by is actually very nice. I fill out the paperwork and the doctor sees me right away.

I try and play it smooth, talking about how broke I am, and how much I love Jonny so he'll give me a discount be because I don't have health Insurance.

Then he says "be in remember you, we played ping pong at Johnny's house during their Mormon party."

I had flashbacks to the Mormon party, and how we won the game, how I almost fucked Johnny in his car afterwards on the way back home. But it felt wrong because Vanessa was there. Then I remembered the hole in the back door.

"yeah that was really fun. I remember we won."

He didn't day anything he just put numbing drops In My eyes and this yellow dye. He looked at my eyes and said

"you have a 3 millimeter cut on your eye. You really did some damage"

"dammit"

He writes my prescription and im ngl I almost booked it out the door. But I waited instead. He me 120 for a 2 minute visit. Asshole. After I talked so nicely with him.

Me and Vanessa went back outside but the car was gone, so was Tom and Johnny.

We called them, they're a block or two away. We waited and waited, and entertained ourselves by kicking rocks to each other that made the best ear tingling noise you could imagine.

A couple minutes later the car pulled up and this girl other girl was in the car. Wtf man I just want to go home. As soon as we get into the car everyone is aguing about where we're going and Johnny wants to Trade My weed for pods.that he didn't even ask me if he could be trade. Which pissed me off A SHIT TON. johnny, Tom and this dumb dumb bitch kept arguing about pods and juuls. I realized how absolutely fucking retarted it is and how I never want to sound like that. I save all my shit to Johnny and just said " I quit" . We drove into Safeway gave them my perscription. Told us to come back in 20 minutes. Dropped dumb bitch off at her friends no house. Johnny traded my Weed for pods. And Tom proceeded to cuss out girl we traded with calling her names like fat ass, which I did not approve of. Tom commented on something and I swear I almost killed a kid in front of my friends. Tom was lucky that night. I would have strangled him if it wasn't for my eye.

We go back to Safeway and they try and charge me $47 for a $4 perscription. Fuck that. We transfer it to Walmart. We drive home, I'm the first to get dropped off. Thank fucking god.

My mom comes into my room, and hugs me and just listens to me sleepily jabber about anything.

Last time I'll ever sacrifice my subpar sandwich for goldfish and Arnold Palmer's.

Never again