fatandfuckingcool

[fatandfuckingcool]

Andrew Hozier-Byrne 2015: Yes, of course, I have opinions, but it’s all open to interpretation because I don’t want to soapbox, I don’t want to offend ppl :)

andrew hozier-byrne 2019: anyway fuck the police

[fatandfuckingcool]

Specific Hozier Music Edits Masterlist

(I'll update this everytime I post a new one)

• Shrike but you're sitting by your open window during a thunderstorm

• In The Woods Somewhere but you're actually somewhere in the woods during a summer night, sitting by a campfire

• No Plan but you're sitting on an empty beach looking out on the sea

• Almost (Sweet Music) but you're sitting on a porch during a thunderstorm

• Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene but you're driving through a snow blizzard at night

• Wasteland, Baby! but you're driving at night through rain

• As It Was but you're sitting on your windowsill, watching the thunderstorm that's going on outside

• Sedated but you're underwater

• Wasteland, Baby! but you’re right at the edge of a dark forest, sitting by a bonfire

• Run but you’re sitting by a lake. The sun just went down and you lit a bonfire to keep yourself warm

• From Eden but you're sitting in a field by a small river. It's a nice sunny day & the birds are chirping

• Arsonist's Lullabye but you're all cozied up in front of an open fireplace

• NFWMB (Acoustic) but you’re in the middle of a forest at night, sitting in the entrance of your tent in front of a bonfire

• In A Week by Hozier but it’s coming from an unknown source in the distance; you’re laying in the middle of a field, insects are buzzing around you

• It Will Come Back but you’re sitting at the edge of a cliff looking out onto the ocean and the thunderstorm that’s raging in the distance

• Foreigner’s God but you’re walking through howling wind

• Work Song but you’re on an empty beach, looking out onto the ocean while the daylight fades

• Dinner & Diatribes but it’s playing at a fancy cocktail/dinner party

• Would That I but you’re sitting outside on a windy day enjoying the way the trees move and the leaves rustle all around you

• Movement but you’re lying on your couch next to an open window, enjoying the thunderstorm that’s going on outside

• Like Real People Do but you’re in the forest, actually digging up something (or someone?)

• Work Song but sung by a woman/female!Hozier

• Run but sung by a woman/female!Hozier

• Take me to Church but sung by a woman/female!Hozier

• NFWMB but it’s playing from an old truck radio. You’re at the edge of a forest at night, cuddled up to your lover in the makeshift bed in the back of the truck, listening to the sounds of their breathing and heartbeat

• Better Love but you’re in the treetops of the jungle, listening to the sounds of the animals in the forest below

• Talk but you’re on a walk in a forest

[fatandfuckingcool]

GO SEE HER CUZ I CAN'T. Q-Q

UPCOMING UK/EUROPE tour

i’d like to ask for your help in getting the word out on the tour i’m currently doing.

as you know: it’s…different. it’s just me and a piano (okay, and a ukulele sometimes), telling some of the most honest, hardest (and funniest) stories i’ve ever told. i’ve had a rough eight years: abortions, marriage, childbirth, miscarriage…the death of my very best friend to cancer. WHEEEE. FUN.

but the concert is fun. it’s hard and fun. this isn’t a “concert” as much as it is an intimate catch-up over a bottle of wine, with some of the most personal songs i’ve ever written, and a ton of humor to make the medicine go down.

i know a lot of you already have tickets, but the UK tour is now only about 50% sold out, and the european tour is about the same. some of these halls are HUGE and there’s no chance i’ll sell them out, but i’d like to make sure the halls are at least half full. why did this happen? eh. some very risky and probably slightly erroneous booking choices.

on this tour i will be visiting several cities i’ve never played before including essen, cork, offenbach am main, bexhill, cardiff, limerick, york & dunfermline.

this is such a personal show, and trying to hand-sell it to people who have NEVER seen me before is not an easy task.

it’s why the word of mouth element of spreading the word is so, so, so important.

this is where you come in. if you live in any of the countries that i’m about to hit….HELP ME.

below are some digital show flyers as well as links to the facebook events (where you can RSVP!) and tweets you can share about the shows. if you live within driving distance of any of these shows (or even if you have friends who do) please feel free to SHARE, INVITE and RETWEET to help get the word out. i will be thankful. your friends will be thankful. we will all be thankful. —–

here are the dates, ** in front of the ones that could most use a push.

Sept 04 - Amsterdam - Meervaart  SOLD OUT Sept 06 - Berlin - Admiralspalast  SOLD OUT **Sept 11 - Munich - Kongressaal   **Sept 13 - Offenbach - Capitol   Sept 14 - Vienna - Konzerthaus  SOLD OUT **Sept 15 - Graz - Stefaniensaal **Sept 18 - Stuttgart - Theaterhaus **Sept 19 - Essen - Colosseum **Sept 20 - Antwerp - De Roma **Sept 24 - Hamburg - Laeiszhalle **Sept 25 - Leipzig - Haus Auensee Sept 26 - Prague - Hybernia **Sept 27 - Luxembourg - Conservatoire Sept 28 - Paris - Bataclan Oct 11 - Copenhagen - Bremen Teater Oct 12 - Stockholm - Södra Teatern  SOLD OUT **Oct 16 - Bexhill - De La Warr Pavilion **Oct 19 - Cardiff - St. David’s Hall **Oct 20 - Cambridge - Corn Exchange **Oct 23 - Cork - Opera House **Oct 24 - Dublin - National Concert Hall **Oct 26 - Belfast - Ulster Hall **Oct 27 - Limerick - University Hall **Nov 01 - Dunfermline - Carnegie Hall **Nov 02 - Glasgow - City Halls   Nov 03 - Manchester - Albert Hall **Nov 04 - York - Opera House **Nov 07 - Newcastle - Tyne Theatre **Nov 24 - Braga - Theatro Circo Dec 05 - London - Union Chapel  SOLD OUT Dec 06 - London - Union Chapel  SOLD OUT Dec 13 - London - Union Chapel  SOLD OUT Dec 14 - London - Union Chapel  *NEW SHOW JUST ADDED!

—–

ARE YOU INSPIRED TO HELP ME OUT???

YES????

ok!

here are flyers you can share online. FULL EURO/UK TOUR:

IRELAND……

UNITED KINGDOM…..

GERMANY…

FACEBOOK EVENTS!!!!! share them far and wide!!!! please say something personal about the show and album, that always helps.

you can see the full list of events by going here: https://www.facebook.com/pg/amandapalmer/events

here are the facebook event RSVP links for each show:

SEPT 4 Amsterdam, Netherlands (SOLD OUT): https://www.facebook.com/events/264701577764592/?ti=icl

SEPT 6 Berlin, Germany (SOLD OUT): https://www.facebook.com/events/375468023007747/?ti=icl

SEPT 11 Munich, Germany: https://www.facebook.com/events/266864334244005/?ti=icl

SEPT 13 Offenbach am Main, Germany: https://www.facebook.com/events/410747979733318/?ti=icl

SEPT 14 Vienna, Austria: https://www.facebook.com/events/2281207468870424/?ti=icl

SEPT 15 Graz, Austria: https://www.facebook.com/events/954726294724620/?ti=icl SEPT 18 Stuttgart, Germany: https://www.facebook.com/events/264987671063892/?ti=icl SEPT 19 Essen, Germany: https://www.facebook.com/events/380972189365018/?ti=icl SEPT 20 Antwerp, Belgium https://www.facebook.com/events/304880093506117/?ti=icl

SEPT 24 Hamburg, Germany: https://www.facebook.com/events/342235476389855/?ti=icl

SEPT 25 Leipzig, Germany: https://www.facebook.com/events/1872830226178929/?ti=icl

SEPT 26 Prague, Czech Republic: https://www.facebook.com/events/1200917240085286/?ti=icl

SEPT 27 Luxembourg, Luxembourg: https://www.facebook.com/events/377549716390842/?ti=icl

SEPT 28 Paris, France: https://www.facebook.com/events/382809662298276/?ti=icl

OCT 11 Copenhagen, Denmark: https://www.facebook.com/events/827034520978278/?ti=icl

OCT 12 Stockholm, Sweden (SOLD OUT): https://www.facebook.com/events/145594809720780/?ti=icl

OCT 16 Bexhill, UK: https://www.facebook.com/events/240588620154232/?ti=icl

OCT 19 Cardiff, UK: https://www.facebook.com/events/616587492127206/?ti=icl

OCT 20 Cambridge, UK: https://www.facebook.com/events/2728840140459354/?ti=icl

OCT 23 Cork, Ireland: https://www.facebook.com/events/367243520776932/?ti=icl

OCT 24 Dublin, Ireland: https://www.facebook.com/events/236071094012144/?ti=icl OCT 26 Belfast, UK: https://www.facebook.com/events/576296159509248/?ti=icl

OCT 27 Limerick, Ireland: https://www.facebook.com/events/2542225752458783/?ti=icl

NOV 1 Dunfermline, UK: https://www.facebook.com/events/1990517654396342/?ti=icl

NOV 2 Glasgow, Scotland: https://www.facebook.com/events/360854294749081/?ti=icl

NOV 3 Manchester, UK: https://www.facebook.com/events/553672878485289/?ti=icl

NOV 4 York, UK: https://www.facebook.com/events/1027476790785166/?ti=icl

NOV 7 Newcastle upon Tyne: https://www.facebook.com/events/396313434246442/?ti=icl

NOV 24 Braga, Portugal: https://www.facebook.com/events/390340044856131/?ti=icl

DEC 5 London, UK (SOLD OUT): https://www.facebook.com/events/355777715151340/?ti=icl

DEC 6 London, UK (SOLD OUT): https://www.facebook.com/events/329877554299264/?ti=icl

DEC 13 London, UK (SOLD OUT): https://www.facebook.com/events/2223949414328698/?ti=icl

DEC 14 London, UK (NEWLY ADDED!):

https://www.facebook.com/events/523527078396797/

use TWITTER!!!! it’s easy. just make sure you’re logged in and go share and retweet these tweets…..

UK/Ireland: https://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/1160954444273586177?s=21 https://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/1160954445523488769?s=21

GERMANY: https://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/1158415991694602241?s=21

FULL DATES: https://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/1101455833685200896?s=21

NORTHERN IRELAND: https://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/1141673254115057664?s=21

THERE WILL BE NO INTERMISSION LANDING PAGE: https://nointermission.amandapalmer.net SHOWS PAGE: http://amandapalmer.net/shows

i love you

x

x

a

[fatandfuckingcool]

Fuck. How did I not think of this.

The 4 moods

[fatandfuckingcool]

Aaaahh! Can't wait to see in Ny in Nov. So excited. The whole band too! :3

I think about this a lot.

Gif credits to @the-heat-that-drives-the-light

[fatandfuckingcool]

You should ask yourself these with any author/singer/artist/person of in/fame/y that you wish to inquire of, respect my dudes. Also I swear to whatever presiding diety; I see more tags with implicit directions not to, Imma yeet y'all into the sun alongside Epstein.

psa @ new good omens fans I’m BEGGING you

before you send neil a question please ask yourself:

can i find this out with a quick google search?

can i find this out by asking an older fan?

can i find this out by reading the book OR by asking someone who has read it?

is this a headcanon that i just really really  want to be canon or am i legitimately asking if something i noticed was intentionally done?

is it really a good idea to ask neil about [insert kinky/sexy/smutty thing here]?

thank you for your time 

p.s. please also ask yourselves “should i tag neil in this post where op has specifically asked not to have him tagged/where there’s an explicit sexual discussion going on/where he literally asked not to be tagged?”

[fatandfuckingcool]

Holy fuck. Yes. So much love for this man.

[fatandfuckingcool]

me, standing at the edge of a misty peat bog: hozier please tell me. why do i yearn. what is this ache. why do i feel this draw to the feral winds and the wild.

hozier, poking his head out of the bog: you're gay and depressed you tender bitch

[fatandfuckingcool]

MAN, where on alligator alley is this?

Is that a promise?

[fatandfuckingcool]

Actors with the most arou-…amazing voices

Richard Armitage

Michael McElhatton

Charles Dance

Benedict Cumberbatch

Liam Neeson

Lee Pace

Alan Rickman

Graham McTavish

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Sir Christopher Lee

[fatandfuckingcool]

I'm hella late to posting but ya know. This is day one of my inktober ( I mean I finished it at like 5am but who's counting?¿). I sorta started day 2 but it's taken me a minute. Gonna endeavor to do more fluid/spontaneous stuff.

Also my first genuine digital piece! I got myself an ipad and pencil for my burfday and hory shet itssofuckinggood. This was in a free app too. Can't wait to get procreate!

[fatandfuckingcool]

MY THUMBS ARENT FAST ENOUGH

[fatandfuckingcool]

Skin broke for 4 days, let's see.

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

[fatandfuckingcool]

Come with me

And you’ll be

In a world of

Tense procrastination

[fatandfuckingcool]

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 

most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person 

im not a pissbaby

[fatandfuckingcool]

[fatandfuckingcool]

Ohgoodlawd.

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭