fear-of-faith
fear-of-faith
HARPG Gremlin
159 posts
he/him AuDHD, DID, ei-ei-oh
Last active 60 minutes ago
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fear-of-faith · 6 hours ago
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An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the moral responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. 
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west.
Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away, so he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're all looking to get married, so you've come to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter, and the next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
"Well," said the man, "She's just a little bit, not that you would notice, pigeon-toed."
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls, so he went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
"Well," the man replied, "She's just a little bit, not that you would notice, cross-eyed."
Again the farmer nodded and suggested the man date the third girl to see if things might be better, so he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!"
They were wed right away, and months later the baby was born.
When the man visited nursery he was horrified: the baby, while cute, had the ugliest face he ever saw.
He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a little bit, not that you would notice, pregnant when you met her."
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fear-of-faith · 6 hours ago
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Little WIP of my OC, Ardit, and one of my Teacup-Equines!
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fear-of-faith · 23 hours ago
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In a deal with a fae, you must give up something you hold dear. Whether it be your name, your first born, or something else, it must be held dear. You, gave up your addiction. It worked.
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fear-of-faith · 2 days ago
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A trans man who spent most of his life identifying as a woman and who is still seen that way despite years of transitioning is likely going to have more valuable insight on misogyny and the patriarchy’s effects than a newly-out trans woman who’s barely a year removed from her 4chan radicalization pipeline. Conversely, a trans woman who has fought for access to care and legal legitimacy, and has been subjected to years of transmisogynistic harassment in and out of queer spaces is likely to have more valuable insight than a perisex white wealthy trans man who got on T immediately as a teen and started passing with no issues. Neither of this is to say that one group is more worthy of being listened to than the other, but instead pointing out that individuals within the same broad demographic of trans identities can have wildly different experiences and therefore shouldn’t be seen as a monolith of “has this experience” and “doesn’t have this experience.”
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fear-of-faith · 8 days ago
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11 Principles for Living Well
11 Principles for Living Well
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." Mae West
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There is no exact formula for living the perfect life. We are all uniquely different and must walk our own paths. With that being said, I believe there are universal truths we can all follow to help us live well. Below, I have developed 11 such principles for you to consider. Enjoy, God bless and be well.
11 Principles For Living Well:
Principle # 1
Peace comes through perspective, not circumstance.
Analysis: It is not what is happening in your life that determines your sense of peace and happiness, it is the perspective you take regarding said circumstances that determines it. You can look at a setback or failure as unfair, or a sign to change paths, or you can look at it as an opportunity to learn from the experience and come back stronger. The choice is yours.
Principle # 2:
Live life as if today is a gift, and tomorrow is not a given.
Analysis: Time is fleeting, and if you are not careful, it will slip right through your fingertips with ease and haste. Live your life like time is your most valuable asset, and do today, what you could do tomorrow.
Principle # 3
Control your thoughts, control your reality.
Analysis: Your thoughts and how you interpret your reality, lead to your emotions and subsequent behavior. Learn to control your mind, take time to process and evaluate your circumstances honestly and logically, and you will find power and control over your reality.
Principle # 4:
Take the lessons the past has taught you and let everything else go.
Analysis: Stop living in yesterday's shadow. Every day you wake up, is a new opportunity to reinvent yourself, and be the person you aspire to be. Start living the life you want to live right now, not tomorrow.
Principle # 5:
Tirelessly pursue your interests. That is where you will find purpose, and if you are persistent and lucky, your passion.
Analysis: From early on in life, you are drawn to certain things that you have a natural inclination or interest in, and this leads to an investment of your time and energy. Choose to pursue such endeavors, and your growth and development in these areas are all but guaranteed. More importantly, from such a pursuit, you will find purpose, or a sense of value in what you are doing and what it can provide to others. This process undoubtedly can lead to finding your passion, that special something that you will stop at nothing to continue doing in your life. It all starts with following your interests.
Principle # 6
Learn first, to be happy on your own, because you and only are responsible for such a state.
Analysis: Avoid becoming someone who depends on others for happiness. People come and go in your life, like a change in the direction of the wind. Being self-reliant and able to enjoy your own company ensures that you will walk your path confidently, even when others take their own.
Principle # 7:
A kind deed done, is a good day won.
Analysis: You have no idea how much of an impact one kind deed can have on a person's life, and the ripple effect it can have on others. Doing something kind for another person, without any self-interest in mind, is one of the most pure and wonderful things you can do in life.
Principle # 8
Don't measure your value or growth by other's opinions or achievements, focus solely on your personal progress and development.
Analysis: Strive for steady progress, not perfection. You are not competing with others, but against yourself. Focus on building a stronger version of you each day and reap the benefits in your life.
Principle # 9
Look at every challenge in life as an opportunity to grow and learn something new about the world, and more importantly, yourself.
Analysis: Life is hard and full of challenges, embrace that reality and welcome the strength and wisdom that comes with the experience. Or let life push you around and see where you land. It is up to you.
Principle # 10
A true, authentic friend or ally is impossibly rare and must be treated as such.
Analysis: Quality over quantity, an ideal that applies across many mediums, and most certainly, in friendship and relationships. There will be few people in your life that you can be assured, have your best interest in mind without self-seeking intentions, but once you have found them, cherish the discovery and return the favor in good faith.
Principle # 11
If you are going to spend your time doing something, do it well and with all your heart.
Analysis: Time is finite, treat it as such. If you are going to spend time doing something, either by choose or necessity, why not give it all you got? Nothing bad can come from putting your best foot forwards, only from a lack of effort, can experience and opportunities be wasted.
My goal with sharing these "11 Principles for Living Well", along with the other content on my website, is to help you to reach your true potential, and live a life that is worth living. Remember to be present in what you are doing, and do not take for granted the opportunities of living well today. Take care.
Written By: Man with a plan aka Jeffrey Kalinoski
Source: 11 Principles for Living Well
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fear-of-faith · 13 days ago
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the locked tomb series asks big questions, like would you sacrifice the memory of those you loved to not have to live with your grief? and what if god was a tumblr user?
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fear-of-faith · 29 days ago
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don’t forget that it’s your life. it’s not school’s life, it’s not work’s life, it’s not your family or your partner’s life—it’s perpetually your life, for better or worse. what do you want from this life? forget happy, what motivates you to live? why are you here?
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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As part of her social media detox this girl on YouTube made herself do one hour of understimulating tasks every day and she just counted rice for 60 minutes straight because its no different from doomscrolling in terms of wasted time
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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told my roommate dracula was an epistolary novel because it’s made up of letters and she was like. of course it’s made of letters it’s a book
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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Intersex infographic, just to clear up some common misconceptions.
Only intersex people may add info in reblogs, perisex people learn to listen.
Edit since this has gotten traction : If this infographic has taught you something or you've found if useful, consider donating to a disabled intersex person so I can afford medication and food
My Ko-fi (anything helps but no obligation)
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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if you’re out there telling ANY other trans people to kill the selves with any regularity you are not welcome in my community and there are no exceptions
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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Das my accidental angel baby
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Tfw you touch a magic mirror and find out the hard way that you're not human, and now there's a chance that a demon is going to find out and murder you about it (so relatable) (happens all the time smh)
Biiig chunk of story under the cut! (this isn't anywhere near all of it btw 🤣 There's just so much I can't put it all in one place like that XD)
Characters:
Daros Fallow (Right) Alex McArthur (Left) [Belongs to FearOfFaith ]
As the sun began to show itself and bathe the room with its light, the scent of food cooking filled the air from the kitchen. Muffins, sausage, bacon, something maple, and most prominently apples, most likely baked into a sweet treat.
It was around this time when Daros had made his way back to Alex, offering a soft greeting as he came into the room. 
“Good morning, how are you today? Sleep alright?” The lamia hummed as he moved to Alex’s bedside.
The doctor was all business, and Alex was fine with this. He was feeling miraculously better, which was saying a lot. But better was not best. Curtis and Rath were trying to give him space, he assumed. Or rather, Rath would have to handle Curtis's hand-wringing. The pair would reappear in Alex's life later. Sighing, Alex opened the book, trying to avoid the hunger that gnawed at his recently-patched insides.
He started the book. When Daros arrived, he grinned and set it aside.
“Like a rock,” he laughed softly. “Good morning.” Despite any lingering pain, his eyes were bright and his smile cheery.
“Good to see you,” he stated, and it seemed he meant it.
Daros was elated to find Alex so lively and bright-eyed, reflecting the positive mood in a slight smile, albeit one that didn’t show any teeth.
“You as well, you seem well-rested,” The lamia hummed, sitting in the chair beside the bed. “I presume the doctor’s already seen you, has anyone fed you yet?” He inquired, having seen Salvatore on his way to getting his own breakfast and rather wondering if Alex had had anything himself yet.
“Yeah, well, not much else I can do,” laughed Alex, motioning to himself. “The doctor is…brisk, and made it clear I’m not to overdo it,” he snorted. His eyes glittered, and his mouth watered. “I have not,” added the man, shaking his head softly. He paused for a moment, making sure the book he’d started was secure on the bedside table. Then, he glanced up at Daros with what could only be described as a wolfish grin.
“Suppose there’s no hope in begging you to let me go down?” He said, only teasing. “I can eat up here and sit still for…a day or two,” he chuckled. “Before I go crazy, and end up bouncing off the walls. Although…you could mention to Dr. Lynch that I’m more likely to pull stitches if I get bored and start DIY-ing something because my brain won’t shut up,” he joked easily.
“So, I suppose I should be grateful I’ve even got bedrest to complain about,” he continued on breezily. “Because there was that ‘I almost died’ bit I keep forgetting about.”
The lamia wasn’t terribly surprised to hear this, nodding along. “Well then, we’ll have to fetch you something for breakfast in that case. If you’re feeling hungry, that is,” He decided, getting a hint from the look in his eyes that this was the case.
A soft chuckle as the other joked with him, shaking his head. “It would be a poor idea for you to be up and about so soon, but I understand your restlessness. I’ve been sewn up and stuck in bed before myself, I was bored out of my mind,” He laughed. 
“Lucky for you though, we do have a wheelchair in the closet here. Doctor won’t have reason to scold us, and you get to see beyond this room without popping a stitch.” He offered with a faint shrug.
His eyes sparkled, not so much because of the food, though it did make his stomach growled. But the idea of getting out and about sounded great. Grinning conspiratorially, he nodded. Emphatically, Alex said: “Oh, that's perfect!”
He thought for a moment. “Can we go down and eat with the others? I know that Rath is probably having a field day getting my uncle to stop pacing a hole in the floor.”
Daros quite liked that idea, giving the other a nod as he rose from his seat. “I was going to suggest it myself actually, I think that’s a great idea,” He hummed, heading to the closet to pull out the wheelchair. 
It didn’t quite resemble that of a modern wheelchair, rather taking the appearance of an ordinary dining chair - for the standards of the estate, that is, finely carved and sporting a soft cushion - which had had its legs replaced with wooden wheels instead. Handles had been affixed to the back for one to push it around with, although the wheels could be turned by the one sitting in the chair as well.
“Fair warning though, I do believe the doctor has you on a liquids-only diet for now, presumably until your guts have healed enough to not risk coming apart again, or something along those lines,” The lamia continued, dusting off the chair and grabbing an extra pillow before returning to Alex’s bedside.
“I’m sure those two have been worried sick about you, I’ve never seen Rath take off in such a hurry before then,” He mused, handing the pillow to the other. “Hug onto this when you get up, your wounds will hurt less when you move that way,” He informed, although steady yet gentle hands would aid Alex into the chair to whatever degree the human needed. 
“Yeah, well, I can’t blame the guy,” Alex chuckled. “And I’m rather not fond of unnecessary surgeries, so I guess just…blend up whatever you gotta,” he teased. “Or rather, juice and other liquids will do fine,” he assured Daros. The chair seemed…odd, but he wasn’t about to question it. He grabbed the pillow and did as Daros suggested. It really did prevent the expected sharp pains from running through his abdomen, and he couldn’t help but smile as he settled.
“Yeah, well, the guy was a mother hen before this,” Alex laughed. “I’m sure he’s at his doggy wit’s end trying to keep calm,” Alex sighed. “But…we’ll make an appearance, and that might help,” he said, nodding firmly.
He wished he could help, but the wheels were far too small and far down for him to roll himself like a modern wheelchair user. And he wasn’t in any shape for all that bending and twisting anyway. So he just…sat…letting Daros take them where they needed.
It was a relief to the lamia that Alex didn’t mind his limited options, he would have felt bad otherwise to have him see the others eating regular food when he himself couldn’t. “I’m told our cooks do a wonderful job of making limited diets not taste boring, you’ll have to inform me if that’s true or not.” He chuckled. 
Moving behind the chair once Alex was settled in, Daros spoke while he wheeled the other out of the patient’s ward, through the infirmary and into the main hall. “I’m sure they’ll be much happier seeing you so much further from death’s doorstep,” He said in almost a snicker before they reached the dining hall, the table already largely populated by residents having their breakfast. 
There was no shortage of pastries and tea on the table, although most had a proper, nutritious meal in front of them. Friendly banter around the table could be heard over the piano softly playing in another room, though Alex’s presence drew quite a few eyes his way. He was new here, of course everyone was a bit curious to meet the newcomer.
Daros budged over a vacant seat so he could stop Alex at the table, seating himself beside the other. It wouldn’t take long for a maid to come by and inquire what they were having, to which Daros asked for tea for himself and whatever Dr. Lynch - who was a few seats down the table from them - had prescribed for the human. Though, Alex was apparently allowed to have whatever he wanted to drink alongside whatever it was the maid had returned to the kitchen to get for him.
Alex was happy to think that he could assuage Curtis's worries. As Daros led them towards the table, he got himself lost in thought. The dining table's chatter and clatter jolted him back to life. He smiled, smelling the breakfast scents that made his mouth water. Before he greeted those he recognized, he ordered a tea and broth that both satisfied his liquid only diet.
Before he'd had even a moment to breathe, Curtis was there, ruffling his hair with a wide grin. He was careful not to hug Alex or jostle him, but the relief in his eyes was clear. 
“You're awake,” he exclaimed, still grinning broadly. “And in one piece…mostly.”
Alex laughed softly, rolling his eyes while he shooed Curtis back to his own seat.
“Yeah, it takes more than a quick trip below to kill me,” Alex snarked.
Rath had been sitting by Curtis at the table when Alex was wheeled in by Daros, relieved to see the other looking surprisingly well considering what’d gone down the day before. 
“Good to see you conscious and alert,” The demon smiled, resuming his breakfast after Curtis had returned to his seat. “We’ve been worried sick, do you know how close to death you were?” He added, albeit in a lighthearted tone.
Soon the maid would return with Alex’s broth, and tea for both him and Daros. The broth was well-seasoned, and the tea of the herbal variety to further aid Alex’s recovery and thankfully sweetened with honey to mask any unfavorable flavors.
Daros had his tea plain, glad to see the relief on Rath and Curtis’ faces while he sipped his drink. “I was thinking of showing him around the estate today, assuming the doctor approves,” He said, turning towards Salvatore.
The doctor, who was in the middle of scoffing down a muffin, paused to glance between Alex and Daros. “It’s fine as long as he stays in the chair, can’t have him popping any stitches. I have to go to the hospital today so I won’t be around to take care of that if something happens during the day.”
“Too close for my liking,” Alex agreed, shuddering. He thanked the staff who brought his broth and tea, drinking both down with gusto. He had to force himself to slow down, so that he didn't make himself sick. It was so tasty that he found it rather a tall order.
As Salvatore gave the go ahead, provided he stay in the wheelchair, Alex grinned. 
“I'd love to go on a nice, guided tour,” he added, to assure Curtis and Rath he was (a) fine, and (b) volunteering for this of his own free will. Curtis seemed worried, but relaxed with a deep breath and a nod.
“Just…be careful,” he begged.
“When am I ever not?” Alex asked, fluttering his eyelashes in the manner of a spoiled brat child. Curtis bit back a number of retorts - showing how deeply worried he'd been. Normally, Alex was nor above receiving his sharp-tongued-wit.
“Ok, I'll sit perfectly still,” he promised, less impishly.
“You better.”
“Soooo, can we go then?” Alex asked Daros. He didn't want to rush the Lamia, but his breakfast was quickly finished.
Daros was glad to see Alex eating so eagerly, taking his time sipping his own tea while the others conversed amongst themselves. He chimed in however, when Curtis expressed his concern.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep a close eye on him,” He assured, soon finishing his tea. That did, at least, ease Rath’s mind on the matter; he knew the lamia to be reliable and attentive, he was fairly certain Daros could keep Alex out of trouble.
The lamia chuckled a little as Alex so eagerly asked to get going, giving him a nod. “I’ve no reason to linger, we can go now,” He smiled, rising from his seat then to excuse them from the table.
“I suppose the second floor up won’t be terribly viable today, but there’s more than enough ground floor for today anyway,” Daros pondered aloud as he wheeled Alex out of the dining hall, “This is actually one of the largest estates in the kingdom, excluding those of royalty of course,”
Just outside the dining hall, the space opened up into a huge living room sporting a piano among other instruments, a fireplace large enough for a person to easily stand in, several chairs and couches, a chandelier and some coffee tables. Glass doors opened up into a raised garden outside, overlooking the barns and pastures and apple orchard, the view largely framed with old growth forest and a portion of the city.
Curtis seemed assuaged by this, nodding. He wasn't sure he was totally happy with the idea, but he wasn't going to dash Alex's hopes. Not after how much the young man had been through. He worried too much, he told himself.
Alex laughed at the idea of the stairs, rueful that they'd be cut off for today. But he grinned as Daros showed him around the first floor, explaining the size comparison between the land and that of royalty. 
“This is all so cool,” he blurted, eyes roaming left and right as he grinned broadly at every new wonder he laid eyes on.
“It’s nice, isn’t it? I’ve only lived here a few years now, but I quite like it here.” Daros hummed, bringing Alex down a wide hallway. 
He showed him the library - one that sprawled wide and harbored shelves which required a ladder to reach the top of. Then the study across the hall, the billiard room, and the lounge, essentially a smaller living room. 
The lamia gave pause while they were in the hall however, when Malacus came around the corner calling his name, jogging over to the pair. 
“We got a situation outside,” The goblin informed Daros as she stopped just by him.
“Can it wait?” The lamia asked, he would much rather continue getting to know Alex.
“A deer got itself caught up in the old clothesline,” Malacus explained, “Your brother is out there now trying to take care of the situation, and it’s not going well for him.” She added with some amusement in her voice.
“Dammit,” Daros muttered, knowing all too well how prone his brother was to getting himself hurt doing stupid shit. “Uh– wait right here, I’ll try not to take too long,” He said to Alex, before hurrying off to get the situation sorted out. 
The hallway proved exceptionally quiet when no one was around, save for the footsteps of the occasional maid or resident somewhere out of view. 
Daros had, in that moment, left Alex right beside the door to where they stored cursed and heavily enchanted objects, many of which were potentially hazardous. The lamia had no concern for this in his assumption that the door was fully closed and locked as it always was, but it just so happened that whomever last went in there had left the door ajar. 
Alex never was very good at sitting still. Being trapped in a chair for the day made him less excited than ever to sit around. He would have shrugged it off as some sort of clinical ADHD errant want, but the slightly open door caught his eye. Once, twice, thrice he glanced over. He fidgeted. Surely, if he was supposed to stay out, the door would be closed, right? He was ever a curious creature. As a child, he’d wanted to know where every road went, and imagined the great wonders just on the other side of the yellow striped lines as they disappeared into hill country.
He moved closer.
It wasn’t exactly easy to wheel himself around, but he found it manageable after a moment. The shiny knick-knacks drew his eye. He found himself amazed. He of course wasn’t blatant enough to pick them up and play with them. But for one, he was trying to wheel himself around without popping a stitch, and for two he never had a very good idea where his body existed in space.
So when he brushed against one of the various objects, he froze, hoping he hadn’t knocked into anything that might break. For an instant, all seemed well. Then, everything was very, very not-well. Something like a sudden itch, a burning and searing erupted from his shoulder blades. For an instant, he wondered if it was from the sigil which was now proudly scarred into his skin.
But that couldn’t quite explain the bright, iridescent white and gold wings which sprouted with sudden, firm demands to be seen and felt.
He nearly knocked a whole shelf over, with the sprawl of them. The man slapped a hand over his mouth, covering a scream of abject surprise and shock. He made no sounds, careful not to alert anyone of what might be happening. He found it nearly impossible to control the extra, flailing limbs, but eventually he managed to fold them against his spine, and the remains of his clothing. Great, he was gonna have to borrow something with wingholes cut into it???
He finally, after a moment of deep breathing to control his volume, allowed himself one tiny utterance.
“What…the…fuck?”
Daros hadn’t been outside for too long - having found his brother somehow also tangled up in the same mess as the deer when he got out there, much to his amusement. He managed to calm the deer enough to untangle it and his brother, and everyone would leave the situation unharmed. 
Relieved to have that over with, Daros made his way back into the manor, walking quickly as he felt bad for making Alex wait nonetheless. The lamia gave pause, however, when he came to the hallway where he’d left Alex to find the other very much not there.
‘Dammit, where could he have gone?’ He thought to himself, making his way down the hall. He nearly went straight past the room of cursed objects, if not for the door having been left more open than earlier.
He paused, eyes widening when he realized where Alex had gone and hurried inside.
Sheer curtains dimmed the daylight flooding in from the windows, shelves packed with mostly evenly-spaced objects and trinkets, most which appeared normal and harmless at first glance. The worst of them were kept locked in a box tucked away or within a glass case, many were too high for one to reach from a wheelchair anyway. 
But it had been one of the largest pieces in the room that Alex had brushed against; a silver mirror, one of a few they had around, each covered with a sheet. Alex had only brushed against its frame, more than enough to reveal his wings even without seeing a reflection.
The lamia had come inside half expecting Alex to be possessed, injured, unconscious, cursed, or some similar terrible fate. To find him with wings sporting frankly the most stunning plumage Daros had ever seen, would have been the last thing he’d expected.
He froze upon seeing the other man, taking a moment to process this sight. 
“Alex? What happened?” He inquired with poorly-masked alarm in his tone, shutting the door behind him. They didn’t have any objects that gave people wings, did they? 
“I didn’t…the door was open…I I promise, I wasn’t trying to snoop,” he rushed, eyes wide and terrified. “I just…my elbow, I brushed against something and then…THIS happened,” he waved, wincing when that pulled at his stitches. He breathed raggedly, calming himself and lowering his tone.
“I have no fucking clue how this happened, but uh…I guess it did?” He stated, eyes still wide. “I didn’t mean to cause any harm I just…I was curious, and I didn’t…I swear, I didn’t mean to do anything wrong,” he was hyperventilating again, and took a few breaths to try and steady himself.
“Is your boss or is your boss not a demon of some kind?” He asked, face blanching. “And am I in deep shit?”
Seeing Alex’s panic served as a reminder to Daros to not freak out if he could help it at all, though that was easier said than done. Nonetheless, the lamia schooled his expression as best he could as he made his way over.
“It’s okay, you’re not in trouble,” He reminded the other, mind still racing as to what on earth they were to do about this as he scanned over Alex’s new wings. “We’ll figure this out–” He paused when Alex asked about Rath, his face paling a little.
“We’ll figure this out,” He reasserted, half to himself. “No one can know about this, if Rath finds out…we just need to figure out a way to hide the wings,” He thought aloud, moving to Alex’s side to get a better look at him. 
A hand briefly reached to touch the feathers, however he gave pause just before he would have touched them - remembering that perhaps he shouldn’t touch them without Alex’s permission, he pulled away again. 
He glanced toward the mostly-covered mirror, then back to Alex. “Try to fold them in as much as you can and hold them still,” He instructed, pulling the sheet off the mirror.
The mirror itself, while potent in magic, couldn’t cause any physical harm, so he had no concern for keeping it uncovered for a while. It was rather the glistening, high-purity silver which made up the frame that it had to be covered, so the metal wouldn’t be so bothersome to any vampires coming into the room. Daros figured someone might be pissed off finding it exposed, but it’d have to be fine.
He draped the sheet around Alex’s wings and shoulders, careful to tuck it around him so it covered the appendages under the guise of being there to keep him warm, doing his best to make the extra bulk of the wings appear like excess fabric.
“This will have to do for the moment, until we can find a better solution…I’m not too well versed in illusion magic, but I suppose I’m going to have to learn real fast to get these hidden.” 
Alex tried to keep calm, really he did. But it was not common that the man sprung wings in the middle of the morning, so he wasn’t exactly sure WHAT to do about it all. He nodded, trying to fold in the appendages to the best of his ability. He struggled to make sure that he wasn’t going to fall out of the chair. It was not quite comfortable, but he made it work. The very idea of accidentally brushing against the mirror again made him shudder. What else might it uncover if he wasn’t careful?
“Yeah, something will have to turn up,” he stated firmly. There was no way he was going to get into more trouble. Even if it meant avoiding Rath at every turn. What on earth might Curtis think? What did this all even mean?
Something piqued his interest.
“Do you…think this might have something to do with why I lived? Through all the…” he gestured wildly, to get his point across. ‘The crazy shit’ he seemed to be implying. He sighed.
“I mean, it does seem to make a good case; I should have been dead six ways from Sunday. No offense to Dr. Lynch, but there wasn’t much left to stitch.”
Daros hadn’t any need to think on Alex’s question, giving a nod without hesitation. “Most likely. Angels, as far as I’m aware, are known for being resilient and extremely difficult to kill.” He explained, albeit quietly out of worry one might eavesdrop from beyond their view. 
“If these wings are even from angelic traits…the good news is, if we can find a way to prove you’re not angelic, we won’t have reason to hide them.” He added, going quiet when he opened the door just a little to peek outside, ensuring that at least there weren’t any demons about before he would wheel Alex out.
The lamia brought Alex to the study, an often-neglected room when they had a full library and office rooms to work in. Despite this, there wasn’t a speck of dust to be found.
“Alright, um– I’m going to see about finding any books on illusion magic,” He thought aloud, locking the door behind them so no one could simply walk in at any point. “It might get uncomfortable keeping your wings folded like that too much, it might be a good idea to stretch them out now while no one’s around.”
Alex wasn’t sure what to say, but he nodded nonetheless, agreeing that perhaps Daros was onto something with the “find out what is going on, and pray it’s not Angelic in nature” bit. He did as he was bidden, flapping the white and gold instruments free of their binding. It felt sore, and itchy, like a scab, where they protruded from his skin. Otherwise, they didn’t seem to hurt. He shrugged his shoulders, mindful of his stitches.
He watched Daros, his blue eyes intent as he waited. He itched to help, to crack open a book or two himself but…he’d rather not touch anything else today. For very good reason. He watched, keen on finding something, anything that might help. Even if all he could do was silently cheer on Daros.
“And what if it…IS angelic?” He asked, brow raised as he sat calmly, wings still flapping lazily. The breeze stirred only a tiny bit of the papers about. “What then?”
The lamia scoured over the bookshelves in the room, fingers lightly tracing over the titles to better keep his frenzied mind from missing what he was looking for. He knew the exact volume he wanted, certain it was in here somewhere.
Daros only briefly paused as Alex voiced the very question that he dreaded himself, eyes locked on what he was doing when he resumed his search. 
“Then…we will have to ensure that not a soul ever finds out,” He answered more grimly. His gaze shifted down as he caught sight of what he was looking for, crouching a moment to pull a book from the shelf.
“Angels are few and far between these days, most left this world after they lost the war,” The lamia explained as he moved to take a seat near to where he’d parked Alex so he could scan through the pages.
“Rath comes from a family of angel killers, to my understanding,” He went on, “His father had become known for slaying one single-handedly, with nothing more than a single dagger. Now that he’s gone, Rath lives under the pressure of living up to that legacy; to accomplish a feat of similar or greater magnitude. He’s been looking for an angel to kill ever since he first arrived here, and we’re all under obligation to report any evidence of such creatures, should we find any.” 
Realizing how that might have sounded, he glanced up at Alex. “I won’t do that,” He quickly reassured, “But we can’t be certain about anyone else. I’d like to think Rath wouldn’t do you harm, but…you’ve seen how his family can be. I’ve yet to see any semblance of cruelty from him, but I’d rather not risk getting a glimpse of it.” 
Daros had never known Rath’s father, but he’s heard stories. How sadistic he’d been, how full the dungeon used to be with his prisoners and how ill-received any news of failure was taken. Apparently everyone had been on edge around Rath the first few weeks of his time at the estate, thinking it would be much the same. The lamia felt lucky he had only ever known the much more lax and friendly dynamic around here, especially after getting so many visions of what Sika had done to Alex.
“Fucking…lovely,” Alex muttered, the wings pulling in automatically. He shuddered, wrapping them around himself, as though they could protect him. The gold glints in the feathers glowed in the light, though he wasn’t sure if that was from their own glittering, or simply a reflection of the light around them. He bit his lip, chewing it awkwardly. 
“After Sika, I really don’t want another one of the siblings trying to kill me,” he mused, shaking. He could almost smell brimstone, and found himself mentally anguishing for air. The pain seared mentally as strong as it had physically only a day or two ago. PTSD was not something he would have guessed a winged, possibly angelic creature might have to face, but…here he was.
And to be fair, until today, he’d thought nothing more of himself than a moderately replaceable human. He didn’t have what people called “good self worth” or “self esteem”, rather he had a crippling sense of humor and irony instead. But he was afraid, and that seemed to make his brain rattle and scramble all the easier. He noticed the wings were flapping, nigh of their own terror, and took a deep breath. The movement stopped.
“So…uh…just…pretend these aren’t there forever. Got it. Seems doable,” he shrugged. “Not like I’m going to be Scooby-Do’ing my way through life and praying Rath never makes an unexpected house call,” he muttered dryly.
Daros glanced up from his book as Alex spoke, observing the way those wings shined in the light. ‘There’s no way he’s not angelic,’ He thought to himself with a sigh, that certainly looked like a reaction of light magic against the sun beaming into the room, to him at least. He hoped he was wrong.
“It’ll be okay…I won’t let that happen to you again,” He decided quietly, even if he may not be able to stop Rath should the demon come for them. He could damn well try, and perhaps if they played their cards right, they could succeed in keeping this secret.
The lamia didn’t like seeing the other afraid, shaking and wings beginning to flap with alarm at the very thought of being at the mercy of a demon again. He was like a wounded dove in a cage; frightened and trapped, yet kept for his own safety. He would have had the mind to reach and place a hand on Alex’s arm in that moment, if it wouldn’t mean getting feathers to the face immediately. 
Eyes returned to the pages in the book, though Daros still listened when Alex spoke again. Well…when he put it that way, it sounded a lot less viable than initially thought. Daros was well aware that many creatures must hide their true nature around others like this, but surely not 24/7? Keeping his wings hidden indefinitely didn’t seem…healthy, the more Daros thought of it.
“I know it’s daunting at the moment,” He replied softly, “But let’s just focus on right now for the time being, maybe we can figure something else out later,” He offered, sighing and shaking his head after a minute. “I’m just not sure what else can be done right now. What are we to do, run away?”
Alex calmed himself the best he could. With his body slowly coming to grips with the fact that he was not in imminent danger, he found his heart slowing. He neatly folded the wings to his back. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he nodded. There was little to do but face the day as it came.
“I can't run,” he sighed. “Not after watching Curtis fall apart,” shuddered Alex, wishing the memories would blur and fade. Dissociation helped, but these were flashbulb memories - the exact opposite of “checking out” in the moment.
“Either Rath never finds out, or I risk getting ganked,” he sighed. “Still, chosen family means a lot,” he told Daros. He held his head up, even if his lower lip wobbled. He had to be strong.
He felt his pulse quicken again, though not so much from fear. It was touching that Daros offered to keep him safe, even if they both knew that was fruitless.
“Thanks…for all this,” he offered up meekly. He wasn't sure what else to say.
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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“Humans are inherently evil” factoid actualy just statistical error. Average person commits 0 wrong doings. Billionaire George, who is slowly killing the planet and murdering millions to stuff his pockets, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that
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fear-of-faith · 1 month ago
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discord is broken? tumblr is a cesspit? twitter is evil? join us on bleeble! talkr is free ^w^. all your friends are moving over to deadjournal. harassmeonline is open source and the devs only killed three people. nobodytalksforum has great moderators. poob's starting up an sms app. use poob. give poob your phone number. talk to me on poob. go to poob. dive into poob. poob has me for you. poob has me for you.
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fear-of-faith · 2 months ago
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"you were such a beautiful girl" "You're gonna be an ugly man" WRONG!!!!!! HAPPINESS WILL NOW SHINE OUT OF ME LIKE RAYS OF SUNLIGHT!!!! BEAUTY IS WHAT IS INSIDE YOUR HEART!!!! WHAT USE IS A PRETTY FACE WITH A ROTTING MISERABLE SOUL
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fear-of-faith · 2 months ago
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we need to slow down a little I'm so serious. all these quick short videos on tiktok, ig reels, and youtube, artists releasing quick little songs for the trend, tv shows releasing episodes at once, people using chat gpt and google ai overview because they get answers quickly but no validation done for the source, we need to sloww downn i really do not think our brains should be running this fast
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