fearwakes

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A great sorrow, and one that I am only beginning to understand: we don’t get to choose our own hearts. We can’t make ourselves want what’s good for us or what’s good for other people. We don’t get to choose the people we are. 

— Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch (2013) 

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Friend: Don't you want to have a romance?

Me: I'm good, I have romance at home.

Romance I have at home:

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The character: fictional

The pain: REAL

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Why didn't that thing eat me? I was passed out. Did I not look tasty enough? MICKEY 17 (2025) dir. Bong Joon Ho

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books read in 2015:   T H E   G O L D F I N C H   by Donna Tartt

The painting, the magic and aliveness of it, was like that odd airy moment of the snow falling, greenish light and flakes whirling in the cameras, where you no longer cared about the game, who won or lost, but just wanted to drink in that speechless windswept moment. When I looked at the painting I felt the same convergence on a single point: a flickering sun-struck instant that existed now and forever. Only occasionally did I notice the chain on the finch’s ankle, or think what a cruel life for a little living creature—fluttering briefly, forced always to land in the same hopeless place.

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Leighton Meester for Vanity Fair France

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Anne Brontë, Agnes Grey

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Moonrise

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a michael scott moodboard “that was offensive and lame. so double offensive. this is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here”

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'Red Berries'. Albert Joseph Moore.1883-1884. Detail.

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Keira Knightley, 2004.

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Sophie Buhai, fall 2018 Zora Casebere by Gillian Garcia

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Cyanotypes, Emilio Hernández Martín

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I think often about this cover art

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get yourself a main character whos two primary emotions are "little cunt" and "catatonic with grief"

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Sam Reid as Lestat de Lioncourt INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.07: I COULD NOT PREVENT IT.