fellow-in-a-wellow

[fellow-in-a-wellow]

I think we already know about the tall queen x short king that love each other to death.

(example)

- Morticia and Gomez Addams (the Addams family)

- Lilith and Lucifer Morningstar (Hazbin Hotel)

But i can't get the dynamic of "pov you're just a little hater. So what if i am, fuck you." Out of my head.

A tall, big lady x a short man but they have frenemies, old business partners or siblings dynamic instead.

I, for one, think it would be worthwhile and also think it's an underrated relationship.

[fellow-in-a-wellow]

"Fuck you."

"Why? Too afraid to do it yourself? Pussy."

"well i'd fuck myself, yes."

"And you fuck off."

"Uno reverse, fuck you."

"You wish."

"You can, but only if i can cannibalize you afterwards."

"I mean, who wouldn't?"

"Yeah and fuck your mom upside and sideways. Dad included."

"not flexible enough, sorry."

"some weird kinks you have."

"actually not a bad idea. Get the clone machine, i'm having a solo clusterfuck session! Idiot."

"ugh, Fuck me."

"ew, no."

"not even with a gun pointed to my head."

"only if you wear a bag over your head."

"not in a thousand years I don't."

"only if i can cannibalize you afterwards." (it works for both, so i include it here.)

"only in your nightmares."

"as long as it leaves you a bit disturbed and mildly disgusted."

"reaching your most desperate lows i see."

"well, someone has to, but it ain't gonna be me."

"fuck you? I can't even touch you with a two meter stick or i recoil in disarray."

"good luck with that."

"there's no one brave enough to do that."

"No one here has low enough standards to do that."

"uh, maybe some other time?"

"only if you pay for my therapy afterwards."

[fellow-in-a-wellow]

"Twelve tickets to barbie movie, lass."

[Everyones clothing is classic mafia style. Dark suits, rimmed hats, polished shoes, slick back hair but instead of cigars everyone has bubble making cigarettes. Someone pops a lollipop out of their mouth. The stem looked like a cigarette.]

They won't expect the translucent orbs, i mean come on that's basically the height of comedy right here.

The dialogue options are straight up a gold mine.

"haha, if that snake was still around it would be thirteen, what a time to be alive, eh?"

"yes but then wouldn't it be considered bad luck, boss?"

[the others are cackling, pushing up their tinted glasses and pulling down their hats.]

or

"hey, won't you be a lad and light my cigar?"

"sure thing, boss."

[typical hand motions of lighting a cigar.]

"Here you go boss. Excused?"

"yeah, excused." (The "lackey" leaves, the "boss" inhales very deeply.)

[blows out bubbles]/[takes out a lollipop with an audible pop]

The options.

and OH PLEASE- the typical loitering that the gangsters do when they try not to seem suspicious?

d e l i c i o u s, c o n s u m a b l e even.

Now who wants to do this with me?

(please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please- )

[fellow-in-a-wellow]

Hello! I gathered some of my homemade insults! Hope you use them!

They can be used for writing or irl conversations (sibling to sibling for example).

Aside from this conversation you are the biggest waste of time in my life.

Ah, and here we see an idiot in action.

Proud to be an idiot, aren't you?

(passing by a kid section of a store) ah! Finally something for you.

Your neurons must have missed a few spots when they were developing your brain.

I think your atoms have a disease called "incurable stupid".

Your date of birth should be a day all expecting parents dread.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a lack of father in your contacts. (From the Markiplier bit, but as an insult)

Y'know? i have a theory. I think god either created you as a joke or to remind insecure people that they have more use than you. I wouldn't know which ones are more probable though.

Your name should be a synonym for being a dumbass.

The date of your death should be the national holiday of being a dumbass.

Education really failed you. Have you ever considered asking the school for a refund?

You're the reason hell exists and why they had to make a room that threatens with knowledge.

Ugh, you might be everyone else's sun in life but to me you're just cancer inducing.

I may be adopted but at least it means i was wanted by them. However, they were stuck with you from day one. (In case you're adopted.)

Your existence is why we battle for abortion rights.

Your mother should be jailed with public harassment for giving birth to you.

You look like road kill with makeup on.

You're the reason education is free/ should be free.

Other than in a trash can. Where do you belong?

You're too much of a moron to see the consequences of your idiotism.

No one had any expectations for you. Why do you still disappoint?

You should persue the career of a clown instead of doing it for free.

Just because you're too stupid to acknowledge what was wrong doesn't mean that you're free of it's consequences. *Smacked*

Never did I think there was a way to go lower than the bare minimum, yet i see a shovel in your hand and ignorant determination in your eyes only an oblivious fool like you could have.

Worm on a string looks more intelligent than you.

The government should give anyone who ever interacted with you a refund and an apology letter.

I think i know why teachers are paid less.

Please, by all means, baffle me with your bullshit.

If you were a jester in medieval times they would consider you more of a pain in the ass than hemorrhoids they couldn't cure.

You should wipe off your make up with toilet paper, because it looks like shit.

Some people are right brained, some left brained and some parts of the human population are good at both of them. You're a fourth, hidden exception.

Letting you live was a mistake. Let me fix it. *Smack*

It's my first time seeing such a massive degradation of IQ.

High school didn't help, why should college?

I thought you were getting better, turns out you were just taking a break.

You're the type of guy to take orders from a rock twice. (From that one post).

I'm really fighting the urge to judge you by the cover.

First impressions matter, is this your best?

The only way you could find someone to date you is if they had an attraction to morons.

The only way you could get something to date you is if they were blind, mute, deaf and had some kind of brain mutation that lets you borrow brain cells from other people to compensate for the ones that died in battle against you.

Your heart is as barren as your brain.

You're the type of guy to go to school twice and turn out twice as stupid.

Moron should be a title reserved for people like you.

You would fail an exam even if they let you copy the paper.

The only way you passed that test was out of pity.

You're the type of guy to try and sell marijuana to a cop.

You're putting your energy in all the wrong places.

What? Sorry, you're a waste of breath so i just don't bother listening to you anymore.

Your personality has a ph of 14.

Your brain could fit inside a toy teacup and still have space for water.

How can you have two working eyes but be so damn blind.

When i said "cleanse your mind" i didn't include throwing your brain into a bin as a task.

*pointing at the victim* does this spark joy? *The hand changes from pointing to thumbs down or to a fuck you finger* no. (This can be the part when you introduce your middle finger to their face 2 feet apart for proper social distancing guidelines.)

You have one braincell and it bounces around your mind like a ping pong ball. If it hits a corner you experience a thought. Your brain doesn't have corners/but it's smooth. (You can include or exclude it. I took some inspiration from another post.)

If i speak directly into your ear i'm pretty sure you will feel it's echo spiral around that empty lot you call your head.

I can feel wind blowing through your skull, cause of the emptiness of it.

I'm sorry this was your mothers result.