femalefemur

[femalefemur]

this tweet has given me more motivation to stretch than any "it's good for you" post ever will

[femalefemur]

Ok sooooo. and DON'T be mad. We're going to boil you.

[femalefemur]

they're all doing ket but they act like it doesn't count as a real drug because everyone is doing it

Gaz: I don't do drugs.

Soap: Wha- Gaz you said you're high all the time.

Gaz: Yeah but that's the xanax my doctor prescribed me for flying.

Ghost: Gaz get some ketamine and join the actual adults please.

Price: You're getting xanax from the doctor? The doctor on base?

Gaz: That's not important right now Captain.

[femalefemur]

Hahaha theres no WAY this is staying in the tags: *posts a grainy photograph of your darkened bedroom shot through a slightly opened door*

[femalefemur]

i will fry you in butter, garlic, and herbs

[femalefemur]

This heat

[femalefemur]

okay but soap 100% does molly, accidentally takes two at the family bbq and has to drink 50 soft drinks to cover up the fact that he keeps clenching and grinding his jaw

How does it feel to be so right. That man absolutely ends up taking way too much molly and Gaz is shoving magnesium pills down his throat by the end of the night. He goes to the bathroom to throw up and comes back in the best mood. He's drinking water bottles so fast the plastic crumples. He's dancing waaaay too hard to the music his cousins are playing. He's been in 12 tiktoks already. He is doing so good, just nobody touch him or try to talk to him right now or he'll throw up again.

[femalefemur]

[femalefemur]

Alejandro and Rudy are both drunkenly asked if they would give up the other for anything.

Alejandro immediately says no, there is not one thing worth as much to him as Rudy.

Rudy, shameless and unapologetic, says yes.

Everyone expects Alejandro to kick off because Rudy seems serious, and for most couples, that would lead to an argument that could awaken the dead with its volume.

And yet, Alejandro's only reaction is to ask:

"The soup?"

Rudy nods, "The soup."

Neither elaborate.

[femalefemur]

‘That’s why he does coke’ howling laughing in the back of my job rn reading that Ghoul you’re good

That war criminal is snorting lines in a rundown apartment and you're laughing?

He's hoovering powder off the ass of a stripper and you think it's funny???

Soap invites him over for a party and Ghost mistakenly brings a baggy to a family BBQ, is this a joke to you???

[femalefemur]

The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

[femalefemur]

Did you know you can repeat this to yourself in bed with the lights off and it will only take 15 minutes for your roommate to send a tentative “is everything ok in there” text

[femalefemur]

that one mutual who hates you

[femalefemur]

Mandate Magazine (1976) Photography by Target Studios

[femalefemur]

Human Being

Something that I used to struggle with when dealing with selective mutism is how people treats me

[femalefemur]

Some of you have never been tied up, gagged, and thrown over your knight's shoulder to teach you a thing or two about humility, and it shows.

[femalefemur]

random gym sketch

gen z but loyal