fevilleter

[fevilleter]

chloé's favorite thing to do to clear her mind, by far, was to saddle up and go wherever her beloved harley wanted to take her . was it the best idea, given the current climate ( both metaphorical and literal ) ? likely, no, it was not . but today was a good day, at least outside . the wind in her hair ( that she had not yet pinned up in any sort of intricate way ) was something of a dream .

she makes a mental note to pay more attention to her surroundings in the future, the irish woman had certainly snuck up on her . " oh, really ? " she smiles, happy to have at least met one person who enjoys a ride like this . " i come here quite frequently, it is always a good time . " she matches the other woman's pace, " my name is chloé friseal, princess of scotland . pleasure to meet you . "

closed starter - meabh & chloe @fevilleter

From the height of the castle Meabh had spotted a great swathe of open green decorated with three tall hills and deep valleys. She had set her mind to it that she would ride there for the views and for a bit controlled adventure. With the current weather being rather generous, she decided it was the perfect day to saddle her mare and ride out to the green space. She had gone slowly on the steep downward trek through the town, but she picked up her horse's pace as the land around them opened up. Feeling the breeze blowing through her hair, Meabh contentedly made her way towards the vast greenness that seemed to blow with the breeze. She didn't, however, expect to see another woman astride a horse, riding along in the same area. The queen brought her horse to a canter to reach the other rider before slowing her pace as she approached. "You know, try as I might, I almost never find other women who enjoy a quick ride through the hills," she said by way of greeting.

[fevilleter]

closed for @rvnxnt !

he is alive . she should be angry, she should be filled with white - hot blood that makes her see RED . instead, it is relief, cascading like a waterfall all over her . chloé makes her way through the viking encampment, pushes past people who are should be more excited to see him . " soren, " she finally says, and it may just be the first time she's ever called him that , by his name instead of you, or viking . " they said- i thought- " rumors are vermin, absence is worse, " i thought you had died . " she hadn't realized just how much that had affected her, losing another person . another person she cared about . " new scar, " she notes, and it takes every ounce of self control she has left not to fuss over it .

[fevilleter]

chloé, in general, did not consider herself a pushy person ... or, at least, not when it came to family matters, at least not any more . this, however, was different . this was eating her alive, suffocating what little family she had left day by day . she thinks if she does not mend this now, then she may as well be already be a viking's wife . if he is heartbroken, aching, filled with pain in every ragged breath, she could take that . the silence is truly the only issue here . silence is the third person in the room . " i have, " she replies, " i suppose ... " eyes are looking at him, still, silently pleading that her brother will come back, " i suppose you won't be joining us for supper, then ? "

william was not sure what to make of it, being approached out of concern - something he'd longed for, yet now that it had been granted his only instinct was to push it away. as if her seeing through the weak facade of everything is fine that he was trying to uphold would somehow be detrimental to his wellbeing rather than helpful. accepting the caring words of a sister. he couldn't. selfishly, he remained behind his wall of protection, having it not in him currently to even acknowledge that surely she was miserable, too, being married off to a viking. lachlan was surely a better fit to offer her support, where he could only display apathy. "well. you've checked on me," he noted, daring not to lift his gaze; unwilling to risk eye contact. "i shan't keep you."

[fevilleter]

similarly to bryn , chloé thought what she always did when she saw any member of the ragnar eskilsen clan. her reaction, however ? wildly differently: ' THIS IS SO UNFAIR ! ' was on the top of her mind . a fair assessment to this very large group of people ? absolutely not . in fact, until recently, they had all been a very kind, welcoming sort of people . one that she could see herself leading in some way , eventually . but did she really care ? at least for the moment ? no !

" very well . " she hadn't been looking for her betrothed, she had been looking for an escape from the poison that seemed to infest the scottish castle . “ i have no pull with the king currently , otherwise , i certainly do my best to feed said big men . “

he   stopped   the   ax   in   his   hand   from   cutting   through   another   piece   of   wood   when   she   approached   .   bryn   thought   what   he   always   thought   when   he   saw   chloe   .   beautiful   ,   blessed   with   all   the   best   features   of   the   scots   .   burning   hair   ,   pale   skin   ,   blue   eyes   .   easy   to   look   at   .   it   would   not   hurt   having   her   around   the   camp   once   his   brother   and   she   had   secured   wedlock   .   even   though   ,   until   today   ,   he   could   not   help   but   wonder   why   they   had   not   chosen   him   for   the   task   ,   did   he   think   himself   to   be   the   more   reliable   of   the   two   of   them   .  

“   if   you’re   looking   for   my   brother   he   is   out   hunting   .   your   father   has   been   stingy   on   meat   lately   and   there   are   a   bunch   of   big   men   amongst   us   who   like   to   be   fed   well   .   “   cheeky   smile   finds   his   lips   ,   palm   his   own   stomach   .   his   own   empty   stomach   .   @fevilleter

[fevilleter]

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[fevilleter]

he is across from her, but they may as well be worlds apart . it is such a deeply gut - wrenching thing, to watch someone who knows you so well turn into a person you could hardly recognize . if mother were still here, she would be heartbroken -- that was enough to make chloé want to close that gap . turn the worlds distance to a planet, turn the planet to continents, and maybe, eventually, they could actually be in the room together . not just in a room . " that i see , " a slight breath inwards , " i'm just here to check in on you " father is destroying the country one decision at a time, have you noticed ? "i know the circumstances are not ideal, and i want you to know that i am here should you need me . "

before  she  even  called  for  him,  the  knock  gave  her  away.  it  ruled  out  most  everyone  else  who  could possibly  find  themselves  by  his  door,  asking  about  his  presence.  though,  he  knew  not  exactly  in  what  manner  to  reply.  a  recurring  theme  for  the  youngest  of  the  friesals  was  his  tendency  to  take  out  his  frustrations  on  those  who  coincidentally  had  no  part  in  it  all.  as  if  pushing  away  those  with  no  intentions  of  leaving  him  would  somehow  prove  a  point.  he  turned  his  head  to  look  at  the  door,  pushed  himself  up  to  sit  where  he’d  previously  been  lying  down  on  his  bed.  “i’m  here.”  where  else  would  he  be?  he  rubbed  his  eyes  with  the  palms  of  his  hands,  as  if  that  would  make  him  appear  more  alive.

[fevilleter]

ah, one of the irish. made sense why he would not want to sit still, then . " apologies, did not mean to interrupt you on your way back to your chambers. though, i will say, if you need any recommendations on what looks pretty this time of year, i am more than willing to provide . " a sip of her tea ( that really had been growing cold. ) " mostly, yes, we're a very loud sort of people. "

lorcan did not expect to run into anybody at this time in the morning, he'd intended to make his way back to his unnoticed after a night out with very little ale given the state of edinburgh's food and drink supplies. he'd made it through town but not to the castle without being spotted. " i uh - i was out exploring and now i need rest. are all you scots this talkative in the morning? "

[fevilleter]

under normal circumstances, chloé would’ve let him go . would’ve let him heal on his own — or at least recoup, they could always talk later . these, however, were not normal circumstances . and she was growing quite tired of the four friseals going their separate ways . “ lachlan, “ she says, quietly at first . then, a hand reaches out, gently, so there is no confusion between friend & foe ( friend, always friend. ) “ lachlan, “ eyes meet his, gentle, “ you don't have to be alone, i'm here, okay ? “

his   hand   comes   up   to   his   cheek   to   feel   where   slight   swelling   had   started   to   grow   .   lachlan’s   vision   was   blurry   ,   head   ringing   and   yet   ,   instincts   lead   him   down   the   hall   towards   his   chambers   .   silence   .   he   needed   a   moment   of   silence   .   just   a   few   minutes   to   find   his   center   and   to   calm   his   nerves   .   but   how   was   a   man   to   calm   when   the   shock   was   caused   by   the   parent   ?   by   the   father   ?   by   the   king   …   “   i’ll   be   with   you   in   a   moment   ,   sister   .   “   lachlan   tries   to   brush   off   worried   eyes   of   younger   sibling   ,   her   figure   cloudy   in   the   corner   of   his   eyes   as   he   tries   to   rush   past   her   .   @fevilleter

[fevilleter]

" you of all people should know i have zero influence over my father's nefarious dealings and decisions , nathaniel . " the idea of starting a fight right now is not appealing, especially with someone chloé has always considered an ally . " you are more than welcome to speak freely, " she amends, " but do note that i do not take well to being accosted, particularly when i have done nothing to earn it . "

CLOSED STARTER - nathaniel & chloe. @fevilleter

nathaniel had never found it easy to hide his anger when it flared so quickly, and the recent situation regarding food and the scottish king favouring some more than others had angered him. perhaps he should have thought twice before approaching the princess but they had a history, he figured he could speak his mind - even if some of the frustration was vented through his words. " i thought the kings children would have more influence on their fathers cowardly decisions. "

[fevilleter]

closed starter ! ft. william friseal ( @gxst )

the king was clearly determined to run the country into the ground . that was, unfortunately, the only reality that seemed to present itself at the moment . he would destroy scotland and take the children he had never quite loved ( beyond their usefulness as pawns in his game ) down with him . and perhaps there were no two bigger pawns than chloé and will . so, she sought him out, despite her best judgement not to do so . despite the little voice in her head telling her to leave him alone . a little knock on his chamber doors, " will, are you there ? it's chloe. "

[fevilleter]

closed starter, ft. @0fmercy

no one is awake at this hour, and that is what chloé loves most about it . the peace, the quiet, the lack of anything needing thought . it is all quite perfect . that is, until a certain someone is there . she checks to make sure it isn’t one of her siblings ( if it were, she would not be so kind ) and she very suddenly becomes a proper member of society again. “ hello ! “ she gives them a smile, “ what has you up so early ? “

[fevilleter]

closed starter, ft. @kittyofengland

friendship was one word to describe the relationship chloé had with the princess of england . there could, in theory, be a million others, none of them words chloé would say aloud . secret inside thoughts and recent shared trauma ? now, that was a recipe for disaster . no matter, she had asked kitty to accompany her on a walk anyway . “ so, “ she starts, girlish smile on her face, “ are you still enjoying scotland ? “

[fevilleter]

Cathy Park Hong, from "Spring and All"

[fevilleter]

" i ' ll let you braid mine if i can braid yours , " something almost feels the same then . like the lightness of it all makes some return to normalcy . " what colors were you thinking ? " she asks , this was a good topic to stick to . this was safe & would not leave either of them with a heavy heart . at least , for now it wouldn't . " i think bluebells would look beautiful in yours , but we might have to work to be able to make them stick . " be normal , be normal , be normal . maybe , she can wish it into happening .

he   was   in   a   cup   of   ale   or   two   as   they   stood   and   watched   the   celebrating   crowd   .   it   was   easily   the   friesal   siblings’   favorite   holiday   of   the   year   .   at   least   it   used   to   be   .   bitter   sweet   the   memories   of   this   day   ,   the   melancholia   of   it   ,   yearning   and   yet   …   enjoying   .   older   brother   glances   over   to   his   sister   when   she   does   not   answer   to   him   immediately   ,   making   him   guess   only   that   she   felt   the   same   .   “   i   asked   if   i   can   pick   a   few   flowers   for   your   hair   ,   sister   .   “   taller   one   feels   the   corner   of   his   mouth   curling   up   ,   feels   that   once   again   it   was   not   just   his   duty   but   also   his   own   instinct   to   fill   the   gap   mother   had   left   in   all   their   lives   .   

[fevilleter]

SOPHIE SKELTON as BRIANNA FRASER OUTLANDER 7.04 ― "A Most Uncomfortable Woman"

[fevilleter]

Yanyi, from Dream of the Divided Field: Poems; “The Friend”

[Text ID: “stop fighting, but I am not / fighting. I am noticing / where I don’t exist. / I should leave.”]

[fevilleter]

# FEVILLETER -- a dependent single muse blog for nomadhqz . ft :

CHLOÉ FRISEAL ; a study in : grief , an improperly proper princess ; a shadow of a woman who was ; you're mad because i'm yelling / i'm mad because you're silent ; secrets die on your lips ; when slyvia plath said " i felt my LUNGS inflate with the onrush of scenery — AIR , mountains , trees , people . i thought , ' this is what it is to be happy . ' ”

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