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I understand it’s difficult to be a parent but it’s time we start telling parents bluntly it’s not the internet responsibility to keep your child safe it’s your responsibility to keep your child safe on the internet

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jokes that will literally never not be funny to me:

saying “speedrun strats” every time you fuck up

saying “first try” when you’ve tried the thing like 15 times, minimum

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I did meal prep

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?

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i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

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i (27F human adventurer) accidentally joined a dragon polycule (305F, 210F, 91F) and when i told them that i couldn't be a live-in pet for them because i have a job and taxes and stuff they got surprisingly mad at me. AITA?

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if you hate jazz you will die and go to hell

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every time i look at corporate money numbers i feel insane. Like my entire debt is a rounding error compared to what chase bank spends on ballpoint pens in a day. what the fuck am i even doing

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sex pollen is OUT, honesty pollen is IN. Expose your characters to alien chemicals that make them actually talk to each other

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I’m so proud that this is my first post

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I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

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I swear trying to write smut feels like:

His hands were hands and then the fingers were in the hand and the hand was with the fingers and the fingers had the hand in the other hand then the fingers dragged to the hand with the fingers and it was hot

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[x]

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Someone needs to hire me ASAP I just made zucchini bread and when I looked in the oven at the end of the bake time I was like surprised to find zucchini bread there. Like I forgot how baking works

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people are really fucking clueless about generative ai huh? you should absolutely not be using it for any sort of fact checking no matter how convenient. it does not operate in a way that guarantees factual information. its goal is not to deliver you the truth but deliver something coherent based on a given data set which may or may not include factual information. both the idolization of ai and fearmongering of it seem lost on what it is actually capable of doing