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fishorse-art · 3 years ago

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May needs Tampons - a Guilty Gear fanfic

So I wrote a thing and my friends wanted me to post it so the world could see - Here’s TW for, yknow, period stuff such as blood and etc, as well as a vague sexual scene (not involving any of the jellyfish girls) I hope you enjoy my little masterpiece (Crack fic focused on May, 4.5k words)

It was a beautiful day at the Mayship II (2) for the Jellyfish Pirates; the sun slowly rising atop the mountains of whichever country they were flying over, where they were probably doing so illegally (they were not allowed within 37 countries), but who gives a shit - they are pirates. And, inside her room, a young May slowly rises from her bed, stretching and yawning loudly like the model teenager.

The first mistake of many she would commit on that day.

Immediately, May felt a terrifying pain on her lower body - a burning, crushing sensation, a mixture of the time she got food poisoning from Dizzy’s first attempt at cooking and the time she got smashed to the ground and pinned down for 2 hours after Dizzy accidentally knocked her over and then fainted on top of her out of guilt. A lot of the times she got hurt was because of Dizzy, now that she thinks about it - well good fucking luck to her twink husband I guess- oh my god it is still hurting a lot.

After a second or two, realization dawns onto her.

Cramps. Her second mortal enemy.

In a rush, she pulls her comforter up.

Her bed is already soaked with blood, and so are her shorts.

With a jump, she steps away from her bed, her brain focused on a single thought:

Should I fake my own gruesome murder to avoid being forced by Febby to do laundry.

And then her lower body stabs her with pain and she goes to the next important thing in her head - oh my god this fucking hurts.

Alright, so tampons and ibuprofen first, bedsheets second.

As May stumbles into her bathroom, she realizes something is wrong - some things are out of order, including her Winnie The Pooh™ slippers, and then a feeling of fear overcomes her.

One of the girls went through her bathroom.

This is not unusual - everybody grew up together, so it became normal for sometimes one of the girls ‘borrow’ something from the other - only for then to be challenged to a fight in The Pit by the end of the day for stealing someone else’s shit, and then they are stopped by Johnny the second April begins reciting Lord of the Flies, right when the fight is at their high point, saying that “they’re pirates, stealing should be an encouraged skill”. Buzzkill.

And as May desperately rummages through her drawers, her worst fear was made true.

There it was, the box of ibuprofen, and the package of tampons. All empty.

Suddenly she wishes she had read Lord of the Flies too because that book probably has some good ideas on how to stab people.

Well, she thinks as she closes the drawer with a loud bang, brain filled with pain and rage, there’s only one thing to do.

Leave her bathroom. And then steal someone else’s tampons and medication. And then find out who stole her shit and throw them onto The Pit. And if Johnny interferes? She can take two on one.

---

May’s first idea was to go to April. Her bestie, her confidant, her sister in arms. She would never let May down.

“Tampons? Oh May, I’m so sorry, but I ran out.”

She has let May down.

“What do you mean you ran out?! You never run out!” She screamed in anguish, waving her arms around. April looked at her apologetically.

“I mean… May… it’s also my period.” She says quietly.

“Huh?”

“May, all of our periods are synced. The others ask me for spares sometimes, too.”

At that, May stopped.

Oh my god, all of their periods are synced.

WHY were all their periods synced? How does this kind of shit even happen???

As if to stop May from going down the rabbit hole of having to unpack the already nonsensical menstrual cycle synchrony meme, Febby walks into April’s room while whistling, laundry basket in hands, and spots May- her gaze going down to her bloodied shorts. And then to May’s face. And then back to the shorts. And then back to May. Oh no. “Please do not say anything that could make me go apeshit”, May thought, as if praying to a higher being.

“Did you shit yourself.” She asked, sneering. Well. Go fuck yourself, higher being.

At that, May snapped - quickly grabbing April’s copy of Lord of the Flies straight from the shelf, and throwing it squarely into Febby’s forehead; knocking her unconscious, the basket flew from her hands, a rain of shirts and panties painting the gruesome scene. Now she can’t force May to do laundry anymore. At least not for the next 5 hours.

April ran towards her knocked out sister, and checked her vital signs. Once she confirms that Febby is indeed alive, she sighs and looks at May.

“...You know Febby doesn’t use tampons, she has a menstrual cup.” She said, seriously. Operation Shark Week has begun, it seems. They did not say it out loud, but they both thought about the same name for the operation, because they are that cool.

“Yeah, I do. Does she have ibuprofen, though? And you?” May asks, assuming her usual stance of leadership. First, she needs to assess her resources, so she can properly strike.

April shakes her head. “I don’t need ibuprofen, I rarely have cramps. As for Febby… I think you can check her room, she might have some.” She replies, in a serious tone. As always, April is more than ready to answer to her superiors, and to carry out whichever mission they require from her, be it from Johnny or May.

Humming, May places her chin between her fingers. First step would be to check Febby’s bathroom for medication, and then continue on her search to find whoever took her tampons, and make them pay- oh my god it’s flaring up again she has to hurry shit.

---

She ran out of ibuprofen too.

Febby. Fucking ran out of ibuprofen. Even unconscious, she was still finding ways to fuck with May.

This shit was getting personal.

Sulking, she leaned onto The Mayship II (Two)’s railings, sighing. It was already 11 AM, and still nothing. June had lended her last tampon to Novel, who in return gave June her last pill of ibuprofen; A touching moment between the sisters, but a painful one for May. At this point May was already asking herself where the fuck Johnny was, but in reality he probably drank himself to sleep last night. Most times he wakes up past 3 PM regardless.

As she lets out a sigh, she feels a hand on her shoulder.

“May? Oh, dear, what’s wrong?”

She turned and saw Sephy and Octy, both with looks of genuine worry. At least that’s what she thought, she has never seen either of them with their eyes visible.

But wait. Sephy. Sephy is their medic.

A lightbulb flashes inside May’s brain.

“SEPHY! Can you take me to the infirmary? I need a tampon… and cramp meds…” She says, dramatically, slouching into Sephy’s shoulder.

Her mouth curls into a kind smile. “Of course, May! Do come along.” She blissfully said, with her GORGEOUS voice, and using her GORGEOUS arms to guide May into the GORGEOUS infirmary, as Octy came along.

Oh yeah.

It’s finally coming together.

---

It wasn’t coming together in the slightest.

Sephy, bless her heart, had done nothing wrong, but…

“Sephy. Is… is this all the cramp meds we have in the infirmary…?” May asked, shaky.

Her sister cocked her head in confusion. “Yes, why? Is it not useful for cramps? I always took it myself, and it works…”

This was indeed useful for cramps, but…

“...I’m allergic to Aleve…” May muttered out, pathetically. Sephy gasped a bit, her hands covering her mouth daintily.

“Oh - OH! I’m so sorry May, I forgot…” She said, sadly. And while it wasn’t poor Sephy’s fault, May’s internal rage began to build up; she was soaked in blood and pain,at this point she was an overflowing, bubbling pot, ready to burst.

“I’m… the only person on the ship… allergic to Aleve…” She said, quietly. Sensing shit could go down at any minute, Octy clasped her hands together, in an attempt to make peace. “W-Well! We still need to get the tampons, right?” She said, cheerfully.

At that, May’s visage lit up for a minute. Not all was lost. Maybe there was still some hope.

And then Octy opened the drawer, and all hope was lost. And those weren’t tampons.

“...These are pads.” May said, picking one of the cursed objects up.

Octy shrugged in confusion. “Aren’t they basically the same thing?”

At that, May clenched her teeth together. “NO! Because not only are they more prone to leaking, BUT they increase the intensity of menstrual cramps due to chemicals implanted onto the pad’s fabric!” She shouted her Helpful Pad Fact™, in a sudden fit.

Octy raised her hands defensively. “How was I supposed to know that- look, it stops your leaking, you could at least put it on so it doesn’t look like you shat your pants!” She exclaimed desperately, and immediately bit her lower lip to stifle herself, realizing what she just did. Sephy, looking at May and sensing shit was about to go down, quietly yeeted herself off the infirmary, so she could be spared of her wrath.

And shit would go down. Seething, May picked up a conveniently placed shaver from one of the drawers, and thought, evilly, about how she suddenly felt like she could help Octy with the bangs over her eyes to see clearly how she fucked up.

---

So she shaved a strip of Octy’s head in a fit of rage.

Good.

What the fuck does she do now?!

It was already 2 PM, and still no leads. Unfortunately, she had to use the pad for the time being in case anybody else accused her of being a pants shitter (which she WASN’T, those were fraudulent LIES), but in return now her pains doubled, making her even more stressed. She was running out of options and oh god it is hurting so BAD.

Well, she thought to herself, maybe she can get herself a thermal bag, ask Auntie Leap for some hot chocolate, just to lessen the pain. Yeah, everything will be alright, as long as nobody makes fun of her again-

“Hey, pants shitter!”

Are you fucking kidding.

In a second, she turned to see July standing there smugly, halberd in hand. Recently, she has started a rivalry with May in order to become stronger, since according to her: “Johnny holds back during training, but May does not”, which means she just fucks with her whenever she wants a spar.

And currently, she’s throwing a torch at a bear to get just that. A bear who looks like she shat her pants because oh YEAH May forgot to change her bloodied shorts. Great.

Trying to hold herself back, May caressed her temples, not unlike Johnny when he had too much booze. “July. What do you want.” She asked, slowly.

Clicking her tongue, July wiggles her pointer finger side to side. “Ah-Ah-Ah, it’s not what I want, sis. This is about what YOU want.” She says, and pulls a box out of her shorts’ pocket, making May’s eyes bulge. Is that…

“...Ibuprofen!?” She exclaimed, coincidentally completing the narration. Maybe July wasn’t so bad- maybe after all this time, her sister only did the shit she did out of love for May. Sometimes they do go overboard, that she knows from all the scolding Johnny gives them, but they really were all united as one by the end of it. Such is the crew of the Jellyfish Pirates-

“If you want it, come and get it.” July said with a cruel grin, pocketing the box and bolting off into the ship.

Actually, scratch all that, fuck unity and family, May is about to stab her sister. With a start, she begins the chase that would define July’s life. Or rather, the end of it.

As May runs through the corridors of The Mayship II (Dos), July’s back visible as her long hair flows through the air, she begins forming a plan in her head, and calls for April through her Magic Nokia™.

“May? Is something-“

“If you see July, stop her. I need an ambush!” May exclaims, as her perpetrator slides inside one of the doors - the cafeteria. She quickly hangs up the call in order to focus and grabs onto the door frame, slinging herself into their mess hall.

Immediately, as if on cue, an iron bucket of water fell on top of May, cartoonishly, with the bottom of the bucket hitting her head and oh my god that HURTS. She could hear July snickering somewhere in the area, angering her further, increasing May’s rage inch by inch.

“What’s wrong, May? Isn’t the water cooling you off?” She asked, with May hearing the smugness in her soul. Actually, the water now lowered her body temperature, making her cramps WORSE.

In a flash, she removed the bucket from her head, seeing July sitting cross-legged on top of their dining table, halberd perched right next to her, waving the box of ibuprofen around. Seeing red, May picks up her spare anchor from the cafeteria walls - She hides an anchor for every room in the airship, just in case - and jumps at her sister, screaming in rage. Using her quick reflexes, July picks up her Halberd in a flash and blocks May’s advance, the sound of metal clinking on metal echoing through - and the test of strength begins. As July shows her sister a toothy grin, taunting her, May puts more strength onto her anchor, arm muscles bulging and tightening. She knows she can win this on brute force alone, she’s stronger than all her sisters - but July also knows that. Once she senses that she’s beginning to give out, July quickly twirls to the side, making May lurch forward, giving her time to hit the poor girl on the side with the blunt end of her halberd, throwing May off-balance and launching her at the floor from her side with a loud yelp. July was about to run off to the outdoors, ready to complete her escape while chuckling, only for her to open the door and find a stern-faced April instead.

“Not so fast!” She exclaimed, arms stretched, blocking her exit. May knew she could always trust April, no matter what. Operation Shark Week was in full swing.

In a rush, July stepped back and, as she tried to decide where to go next, it gave May the time needed to recover from the blow she suffered. As she petted her bruised side pitifully, the one-eyed Jellyfish pirate let out a loud ‘tch’ and jumped back towards the entrance she came from, kicking the iron bucket out of her way, smashing the poor thing at a wall and eliciting a loud crashing noise while May, throwing her cafeteria anchor aside, dashed after July, the game of cat and mouse resuming. The hit she took wasn’t enough to slow her down - she has taken much worse - but it did fuel her anger even further, which meant July was going to die.

As their chase continues, eventually July ducks inside another door, and as May follows her, she stumbles into a horrifying scene: July, standing and smiling gracefully, dangling the box of ibuprofen. Right above a porcelain throne. They had entered a bathroom.

“...J-July. You wouldn’t do that to me, right? Your own sister?” She began, her anger wavering into fear. This is the first box of ibuprofen that actually had pills inside, and she did not want to lose it that way - she had to think carefully.

July simply placed a finger into her cheek, thoughtfully, humming along. “I could just hand it over to you… ah, but wasn’t you who stole my bags of salsa chips from my personal stash?” She asked, in a mellow, slow tone, her visible eye glancing at May. Shit, it really was her.

And she continues. “And wasn’t it you who broke Sephy’s broom and blamed it on me?” Ah, yeah, that was her too.

And continues. “And then stole my collection of eyepatches and gave them to your animals so they’d look, and i quote, ‘metal as fuck?’” Well, it really was May, but she wasn’t wrong. They DID look metal as fuck.

Ok this wasn’t looking good for her. Maybe she wasn’t a moral person, but she really needs that ibuprofen, so she has to think fast - as July continues speaking through her list of crimes, May puts her hands behind her back, pulling her special whistle from her bloodied shorts’ back pocket, slowly.

Once July finishes listing all the wrongdoings May had done towards her (none of them being exaggerated, which made May question herself for a bit on that), her expression quickly shifts from thoughtful to violent, her voice pitch lowering suddenly. “Like HELL I’m going to give you this! This is my payback for all your bullshit, you little gremlin!” She growls, baring her teeth on a big smile.

And she lets go of the box.

At that minute, time stopped for May. In a flash, she pulls her whistle and blows on it, July’s face slowly contorting in alert at the loud noise, and May screams out of pure desperation:

“Mr. Dolphin! CATCH!”

She did not question if it would work - she did not question how or why would Mr. Dolphin be in their ship’s sewer system, but she wanted to believe. She was desperate, and she had to believe.

But then, there he was, gloriously rising up from the toilet, July’s confused expression trying to catch up the sudden flurry of events.

And then Mr. Dolphin catches the box.

And then he swallows the box whole.

And he dives back inside the toilet, as if nothing happened and it was all a fever dream, both girls frozen in shock.

And after all of that, all that passed through May’s head was a single thought:

“July made Mr. Dolphin eat my ibuprofen.”

And she was going to pay.

---

When Sephy ran away from the infirmary, May didn’t expect that she went on a search for Auntie Leap, and that both of them were currently searching for her. And she didn’t expect that they would find her dunking July’s head inside the toilet while she screamed in agony.

As Sephy rushed July to the infirmary, Leap handed a mug filled with hot chocolate to May, embracing her shoulders and bringing her close as the young girl sobbed.

“I’m in so much pain, Auntie…” She said between sobs, nose leaking.

Auntie Leap cooed at her. “I know, I know, my dear… Just hang in there for a bit, Johnny will help you out when he’s up…”

“Hm?” She replied, looking up to Leap in confusion as she took a sip of her hot cocoa.

The older woman looked at May exasperatedly. “May, did you forget? Johnny has a cabinet in his room filled with all you girls’ medications for safety. You- You used it before…”

The second she heard that, her brain lit up, her muscles tensed, and the hot chocolate in her mouth was thoroughly spat out.

Holy shit. How could she forget about that.

---

May believes she has never run as fast as she had the moment she remembered Johnny’s medicine cabinet. Not even her chase against July reached what she believes to be mach speed.

Usually, his cabinet is off-limits to all but him - mostly because he hides his own belongings in there as well, such as shaving razors and the sort, and he’d rather have the girls use their own than his’- But he also keeps all of the girls’ prescriptions on him at all times. Hell, it was Johnny who took care of all of the steps of Dr. Faust’s medication for May’s condition before that got solved, and May managed to forget all about it. Like a fucking idiot. But no more. May WILL get rid of her cramps even at the cost of waking Johnny up.

Stopping in front of the captain’s quarters, May hesitated for a second - maybe she should knock before to check if everything was okay, maybe Johnny was already awake and he could fetch it for her instead and oh my god it’s flaring up again no fuck it. In a second, she kicked the door open, regardless of Johnny being asleep or not.

Well. Johnny wasn’t asleep. And neither alone.

It’s an interesting experience, to see your father figure bent over his desk naked while the weird goth that visits every week or so leans over him. She didn’t even know Testament was on the ship at all. As she had kicked the door, both of them stared at May, completely frozen and in shock- Johnny’s shades were even a bit crooked, one of his deep blue eyes visible and glaring at her in absolute fear. And to top it all off in May’s personal show of horrors, she could see how one of Testament’s perfectly manicured hands was caressing over Johnny’s naked back…

…But she couldn’t see where their other hand was.

Where was Testament’s other hand at.

Where the FUCK was Testament’s other hand-

“THERE YOU ARE!” Shouted July’s familiar voice on May’s back. She didn’t look away from the scene, however - She just stood there, staring, slack jawed, brain completely frozen. July slowly walked towards her, unaware of what was happening. “You think you can get away from dunking my face into a TOILET of all-” July continued until she also looked inside Johnny’s room, and she immediately died down.

And for a good minute or two, absolute silence reigned.

Until Johnny, the great, the charismatic, opened and closed his mouth a few times, and in a valiant attempt at breaking the ice of what was the South Pole of all situations, pointed weakly at his beloved first mate.

“May… did’ya shit yourself?”

And at that, May let out a loud, excruciating scream.

---

When May finished her chores for the day, it was already 11 PM.

Turns out you are bound to be punished if July and a recently awakened Febby tell of everything that passed to their father, and then you get all of their chores and more for the rest of the week. Honestly, she was lucky that Octy didn’t appear, she thinks as she sits by the railings of the ship - although now that she was freshly clean and medicated, she was beginning to feel guilty over Octy. But only Octy. She doesn’t regret what she did to Febby and July.

Turns out the answer to the “Who stole my period supplies” Was “March was stealing all tampons and throwing them in the toilet to ‘set them free’ and Augus was chasing after her the entire day”. Maybe she should’ve asked the others about it before attacking them on sight. Silently, she prays that the second March is old enough to bleed, she gets a painful first experience. March may be her youngest sister, but May has long accepted that she is not a moral person and never will be, so let Karma decide what to do with the little pink haired bastard.

As she felt the night chill through her skin and shame mellowed her bite, she felt a familiar hand roughly messing her hair, alongside a coarse laugh.

“How’s my little princess holdin’ it up? feelin’ better?” Asked Johnny, a smile on his voice.

She pouted at the affectionate treatment. “Getting by.” She said curtly, not looking at him.

He quietly leaned in the railings right next to her on his usual garb, looking in the same direction as her. And for a good while, they stayed there in silence. But May felt uncomfortable with it - After everything that she did during the day, Johnny still acts the same as always, even in terms of punishment. Even after she busted him being fisted by someone who eats on the same table all of the Jellyfish pirates eat. She felt he shouldn’t.

Weakly, she tried to start small talk. “We are flying over Uruguay, right?” Yeah, that sounded smooth.

He hummed in reply. “Yep. According to the law, we shouldn’t be here, but nobody gives a shit.” And at that, conversation died down again. Not so smooth then. Shit.

And the silence reigned again.

And it remained.

For quite a while.

Hands tightening at the railings, she couldn’t take it any longer. “Johnny… are you mad at me?”

“Hm?”

“I mean- I did a lot of messed up stuff, and then I interrupted you and Tess-”

Johnny quickly placed a large hand on her shoulder. “Hold on hold on, ya didn’t even know what we were even doin’. That one was on me.”

Not enough for her. “Even so! I-I acted out of line for a first mate! I should’ve been more responsible, I- '' She tried continuing her sentence, weakly, but she noticed that her eyes began to fill up with tears, making her sob loudly. Nothing that she did throughout the day felt mature, or smart - she felt like the little girl who just boarded The Mayship (1) for the first time, scared and unsure.

She felt pathetic. Maybe she was a bit more fragile than usual due to her period, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to do better, be better, for not only Johnny, but for all her sisters too, even Dizzy, who didn’t even live with them anymore.

She wanted them to be proud of her.

The captain’s hand moved from her shoulder to one of her hands, squeezing it tightly. “May. Lemme ask you a question: Do I have periods?”

“...Huh?” She looked at him, eyes filled to the brim with rapidly falling tears, confused at the question.

“I said,” He tried again. “Do I have periods?”

“N-No…”

He snapped his fingers with his free hand. “Exactly. I don’t have’em. Which means I have no right to question ya for what you did - I don’t know what pains you girls have to go through,” He said, looking back at the night sky. “The best I can do, though, is make sure you are all well-cared for and be there for when ya need me, and instead I was getting it from the back.”

“Johnny…” May thought she was going to begin crying again.

“I’m gonna start havin’ Auntie Leap take care of your period medication.” Johnny said, taking a more serious tone. “That way, yall can have it on hand at all times. So no more of those tears, aight? I heard you did quite some nice feats from April, I wanna hear’em in more detail later.” He looked back at her with a smile, messing up her hair again. This time, May laughed weakly at the attack, tears still falling down from her face.

“I will tell you all about them! July was a bitch to me though.”

“Hm, but honestly ya had it comin’. Poor thing was havin’ to deal with your little antics, especially the eye-patch thing.”

“Meh, I won't take it back. I regret nothing.”

“That’s why I’m still punishing you. For both Febby and July.”

May hummed at that. And then she decided - maybe I can be a good person sometimes. Be honest.

“Ah, I also shaved a part of Octy’s head.”

“Wait what.”

---

Her punishment got extended to three weeks after that night.

From then onward, May gave up on having morals ever again.

The End.

#guilty gear #gg #gg may #jellyfish pirates #fanfiction #this is all canon

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