five-and-dimes

[five-and-dimes]

Baby's first shortlisting has turned into baby's first award win?????

[five-and-dimes]

new trope just dropped

[five-and-dimes]

🌹🌹🌹

three sentences for

the fat endless dream wip, in which dream was once fat and the dreamers' view of him, as well as the hits to his own psyche from everyone around him, caused him to become more and more insubstantial.

Dream had not always been… so insubstantial. He wanted, sometimes, to protest to Hob that it wasn't just the cage, it was how the dreamers envisioned him, too. And he never managed, the words always choking.

[five-and-dimes]

🌹🌹🌹

I foolishly reblogged this post right before I had a busier-than-usual afternoon/evening, thank you for your patience! here are three BRAND NEW lines from ch. 3 of would you go along with someone like me? (yes, it hasn't been abandoned, I promise!!)

“This is terrible,” Morpheus said eventually. “Oh no, really? This one isn’t bad. Here, swap.” They exchanged bottles and each took a thoughtful swig. Morpheus actually swished the wine around in his mouth like it was a respectable vintage. “This is, if anything, even worse,” he said eventually.

for every "🌹" received in my inbox I'll post one random sentence of a random WIP I'm currently writing

[five-and-dimes]

Still thinking about this and especially how half of Hob's goal, along with the usual foreplay, is probably just to get Dream to relax.

I'm imaging Dream already naturally tending to take more time to get wet, and then with his past shitty partners they'd get impatient and so Dream begins to associate penetration with pain and discomfort, which makes him anxious and tense before sex which just makes it harder to get wet which makes it more painful/uncomfortable which makes him more anxious and so and so on in a vicious cycle.

Every time Hob thinks he's maybe starting to get Dream less tense, he's suddenly sitting up and apologizing for how long it's taking and offering to just suck Hob off or, fuck it, Hob can just go ahead Dream doesn't mind, if they use some lube he probably won't bleed or anything it's fine he's sorry it's FINE. Meanwhile Hob is just barely holding himself back from punching a wall.

Maybe eventually Hob decides that Dream needs to be gently tied down with a blindfold and a gag (they have a safe signal in place) so that Dream has no choice but to let Hob focus on him. The blindfold makes it difficult to keep track of time, so he doesn't fully know how "long" it's taking, and he can't apologize with the gag in his mouth, and Hob keeps calling him good and precious and beautiful in between worshiping him between his legs.

(Later, Hob will explain that it was actually a good thing that it took Dream awhile to be ready for penetration because Hob accidently came just from eating Dream out and watching him moan and writhe, so it gave him a chance to get it up again.)

Once he's ready, Hob takes off the blindfold and gag and ties so that Dream can cling to him and bury his face in his neck while squealing. Hob is properly pounding him but nothing hurts, he only feels pleasure like he didn't know was possible.

There's still a long way to go before Dream is fully comfortable being a spoiled, cherished pillow princess. Luckily, Hob's got all the time in the world.

just thinking about dream (probably trans) having a kind of dry pussy? and maybe it takes extra effort to get wet and get off and he's kind of embarrassed that it takes so much even when he's super horny. he's put up with past partners not treating him well through it and not wanting to take the time with him. dream just wants to be a bit of a subby pillow prince and feels bad about it because no one seems to want to take care of him.

This is so valid <3

I'm imagining Hob "foreplay is my religion" Gadling would have an absolute blast very very tenderly showing Dream that he is not difficult or annoying or weird. He's quite happy to spend the time getting Dream to a point where he can happily accept penetration! It is quite literally Hob’s pleasure, lmao. He's kind of shocked and horrified by what Dream’s past partners have put him through, but he's very ready to condition Dream into expecting only the BEST sex. Hob has never been more passionate about anything, tbh.

[five-and-dimes]

I have yet to spend a day without fondly thinking of A Soft Place To Land. It's just so good 💕💕💕 I will forever be grateful that you wrote it

😭🥺💕

Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me that you enjoy that story so much!!

[five-and-dimes]

Dream knows that he's hard to love. He knows that he brings almost nothing to the table in a relationship, either. Which is why he feels very guilty about not wanting to have sex, because he feels that would at least make up for it a little bit. Surely his quirks are easier to endure when the other person knows they'll be rewarded for it with a good orgasm.

And so he ignores how awful he feels whenever he and Hob start making out. He does his best to please him, because Hob is always so good to him, better than any of his exes, and so he really deserves to get anything he could possibly want.

I wonder how Hob finds out. Perhaps he senses Dream's discomfort? Maybe one of Dream's exes or siblings makes a weird comment and Hob doesn't know what it means?

Wahhhhhh my heart hurts. I really want to dial up the angst - what if its literally years before Hob finds out that Dream doesn't even like sex? Hob is a reasonably emotionally literate person, but maybe Dream is just really good at acting. After all, he feels like he owes it to Hob. He must perform as perfectly as possible, and maybe he'll finally earn Hob’s love.

And then when Hob discovers the truth somehow, he has to come to terms with the fact that a whole dimension of their relationship has been... fake? Forced? Hell, has he been assaulting Dream this whole time? Hob definitely spirals. Which is literally the last thing that Dream wanted. So he does the classic Dream move, and he disappears. He tells himself that he's ruined everything and he's doing Hob a favour by removing himself.

Meanwhile Hob is desperately searching for Dream because he NEEDS to comfort and reassure his beloved. He NEEDS to show Dream that he is worth so much more than this. He's got a million things to say, a million things that he wants to do to help Dream. He's got a stack of books from the library on sexuality, he's researching queer-friendly couples therapy, and he just wants Dream to come home so he can show him. It isn't the end!!! Hob will always fight for Dream, however dark it gets. Dream will always, always be his love. And he'll fight to fix this, too.

[five-and-dimes]

the big three: big brown eyes, an indescribable amount of horniness and a generalised anxiety disorder

[five-and-dimes]

just thinking about dream (probably trans) having a kind of dry pussy? and maybe it takes extra effort to get wet and get off and he's kind of embarrassed that it takes so much even when he's super horny. he's put up with past partners not treating him well through it and not wanting to take the time with him. dream just wants to be a bit of a subby pillow prince and feels bad about it because no one seems to want to take care of him.

This is so valid <3

I'm imagining Hob "foreplay is my religion" Gadling would have an absolute blast very very tenderly showing Dream that he is not difficult or annoying or weird. He's quite happy to spend the time getting Dream to a point where he can happily accept penetration! It is quite literally Hob’s pleasure, lmao. He's kind of shocked and horrified by what Dream’s past partners have put him through, but he's very ready to condition Dream into expecting only the BEST sex. Hob has never been more passionate about anything, tbh.

[five-and-dimes]

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

[five-and-dimes]

I think we are sleeping (ha) on fat Dream possibilities! I'd love it if we had fat dream because you can still be ethereal and otherworldly when fat (and I think that hangs people up) and I need more fat characters who aren't written as sunshiney!

like, fat Dream possibilities: human fat trans Dream, who has grown up with his AWFUL family about it; Endless Dream who used to be fat but gradually the dreamers started viewing him as insubstantial and thin and wispy + his lovers and others wrecked his psyche about it and now he feels like he can't have comfort related to it; retired Dream who either chooses a fat form or becomes fat living with Hob.

and obviously Hob loves Dream and Dream's body and can make him feel good about himself. Or it could be immortal throuple or smthn else.

(I am planning on writing a couple of these but it will take like nine years so sending this out to everyone :) )

ANON you are so right about Fat Dream!!!!! Never fear because I also think about him frequently. I dabbled briefly in a fic with a retired Dream who ends up gaining some weight and really liking it a lot (A Holy Revival) but I would love to explore more of this. I TOTALLY agree that the whole "ethereal magical beings can't be fat" thing is so wrong and it really grinds my gears. Dream can and should be fat!!!

I particularly love the idea of Dream kind of envisaging himself as fat. So when he's alone maybe he chooses to be fat, but when others are around they impose this idea of whispy thinness onto him, and he has to appear that way. And then he's trapped in that skin and bone form for 100 years so when he gets out of the fishbowl he's really really upset about it.

Then maybe he's surprised by the fact that during their frequent meetings after they're reunited, Hob starts envisaging him as fat so he's able to appear in that way? Not sure how it would work but something like that, anyway. Maybe it's because of Hob’s idea of beauty being more skewed towards fatness, or maybe he just wants Dream to be well fed.

I think that this concept has SO much potential and it genuinely means a lot to me, I'm glad you feel the same! I hope more people will be encouraged to consider Fat Dream!!!

[five-and-dimes]

Hob bringing Dream into a community of humans that dream of his wellbeing after a century of being kept thin and fragile by the cruelty of humans? I love it and on an unrelated note it’s raining on my face.

I think we are sleeping (ha) on fat Dream possibilities! I'd love it if we had fat dream because you can still be ethereal and otherworldly when fat (and I think that hangs people up) and I need more fat characters who aren't written as sunshiney!

like, fat Dream possibilities: human fat trans Dream, who has grown up with his AWFUL family about it; Endless Dream who used to be fat but gradually the dreamers started viewing him as insubstantial and thin and wispy + his lovers and others wrecked his psyche about it and now he feels like he can't have comfort related to it; retired Dream who either chooses a fat form or becomes fat living with Hob.

and obviously Hob loves Dream and Dream's body and can make him feel good about himself. Or it could be immortal throuple or smthn else.

(I am planning on writing a couple of these but it will take like nine years so sending this out to everyone :) )

ANON you are so right about Fat Dream!!!!! Never fear because I also think about him frequently. I dabbled briefly in a fic with a retired Dream who ends up gaining some weight and really liking it a lot (A Holy Revival) but I would love to explore more of this. I TOTALLY agree that the whole "ethereal magical beings can't be fat" thing is so wrong and it really grinds my gears. Dream can and should be fat!!!

I particularly love the idea of Dream kind of envisaging himself as fat. So when he's alone maybe he chooses to be fat, but when others are around they impose this idea of whispy thinness onto him, and he has to appear that way. And then he's trapped in that skin and bone form for 100 years so when he gets out of the fishbowl he's really really upset about it.

Then maybe he's surprised by the fact that during their frequent meetings after they're reunited, Hob starts envisaging him as fat so he's able to appear in that way? Not sure how it would work but something like that, anyway. Maybe it's because of Hob’s idea of beauty being more skewed towards fatness, or maybe he just wants Dream to be well fed.

I think that this concept has SO much potential and it genuinely means a lot to me, I'm glad you feel the same! I hope more people will be encouraged to consider Fat Dream!!!

[five-and-dimes]

Adding to this because it is gold

Then maybe he's surprised by the fact that during their frequent meetings after they're reunited, Hob starts envisaging him as fat so he's able to appear in that way? Not sure how it would work but something like that, anyway.

Maybe Dream is able to appear that way because unlike so many others, Hob isn't so much thinking about what Dream looks like as who he is. Sure, Hob is interested in and thinks about Dream's body - he's only human after all - but for him it is always connected to who Dream is.

It must be absolutely wild for Dream to have this man who just does not influence his form at all. Hob knows his nature and instead of thinking about what Dream should look like, Hob is thinking about how to make him happy and comfortable and content and how to make him feel very very good but that's for later.

What the fuck is this, genuine love and care???

-🍃

Omg yes I gotta talk about this immediately while we're on the Fat Dream subject.

I love this idea of Hob being a person who can look past physicality. It's not that he's not interested in what Dream looks like, it's just that he has a genuine and deep fascination for the whole of Dream’s being. That includes the aspects of Dream that are probably beyond human comprehension - Hob’s brain may be too small to understand but he tries so hard and asks so many questions.

Then when he does find out that Dream sees himself in this certain way - that he's comfortable in this particular form - Hob is genuinely delighted. He thinks that Dream is hella sexy and amazing in his fat body. Their relationship doesn't change at all, because the whole time Hob has been in love with the essence of Dream. Now he gets to be in love with his preferred body as well, and that's pretty awesome too.

Hob is very much in the "I would love you if you were a worm" camp. He'll always love Dream. But most of all he loves to see Dream happy, thriving, comfortable. Still powerful and perhaps a little scary sometimes. His fatness is another part of him, a part that Hob can't wait to know and love too.

It will never ever be a case of Hob loving Dream despite what he looks like. He's 100% going feral over Dream’s fatness, very very excited to appreciate as much as Dream will let him. All in all: he's so happy to have the privilege of knowing the form that his beloved wants to be in. It really is true love.

[five-and-dimes]

I heard ethereal fat Dream and immediately went into a fugue state.

(Putting both because I couldn’t decide which background I like more. Vote now on your phones.)

I think we are sleeping (ha) on fat Dream possibilities! I'd love it if we had fat dream because you can still be ethereal and otherworldly when fat (and I think that hangs people up) and I need more fat characters who aren't written as sunshiney!

like, fat Dream possibilities: human fat trans Dream, who has grown up with his AWFUL family about it; Endless Dream who used to be fat but gradually the dreamers started viewing him as insubstantial and thin and wispy + his lovers and others wrecked his psyche about it and now he feels like he can't have comfort related to it; retired Dream who either chooses a fat form or becomes fat living with Hob.

and obviously Hob loves Dream and Dream's body and can make him feel good about himself. Or it could be immortal throuple or smthn else.

(I am planning on writing a couple of these but it will take like nine years so sending this out to everyone :) )

ANON you are so right about Fat Dream!!!!! Never fear because I also think about him frequently. I dabbled briefly in a fic with a retired Dream who ends up gaining some weight and really liking it a lot (A Holy Revival) but I would love to explore more of this. I TOTALLY agree that the whole "ethereal magical beings can't be fat" thing is so wrong and it really grinds my gears. Dream can and should be fat!!!

I particularly love the idea of Dream kind of envisaging himself as fat. So when he's alone maybe he chooses to be fat, but when others are around they impose this idea of whispy thinness onto him, and he has to appear that way. And then he's trapped in that skin and bone form for 100 years so when he gets out of the fishbowl he's really really upset about it.

Then maybe he's surprised by the fact that during their frequent meetings after they're reunited, Hob starts envisaging him as fat so he's able to appear in that way? Not sure how it would work but something like that, anyway. Maybe it's because of Hob’s idea of beauty being more skewed towards fatness, or maybe he just wants Dream to be well fed.

I think that this concept has SO much potential and it genuinely means a lot to me, I'm glad you feel the same! I hope more people will be encouraged to consider Fat Dream!!!

[five-and-dimes]

I just read A soft place to land and it was wonderful and I was going to comment an entire essay on ao3 about my love for it but I am a bit of a coward so tumblr anon it is.

First of all, that fic made me cry in the best way. It was very healing for me and I would give it a million kuddos if I could 💕.

More often than not people don’t talk about his body at all. Hob is charming, kind, funny, sweet. A list of qualities meant to make up for the part of him no one wants to mention.

(I'm a cis woman so my experience might be a little different but) as someone who has never been skinny a day in their life, and whose fatness does not fall into the category of socially desirable (I love the inclusion of plus size models in fashion but they tend to have a very specific body type), god does this hit where it hurts. Even when your environment tries to shield you from fatphobia, it tends to come down to your personality somehow "making up for" your looks. It is never about how you can be loved for being fat & a good person. It leaves you feeling like you need to compensate for your body not being good enough and that fucks with your brain.

So maybe saying he ‘likes’ his body isn’t quite right. He’s accepted his body. He will rant and rave about how his weight and his looks don’t determine his worth, how he is just as deserving of love and respect, how society’s views on fatness were toxic and damaging. And he honestly believes it. He certainly doesn’t think he’s ugly. [...] It hits Hob suddenly that maybe “not feeling ugly” and “feeling attractive” are not the same things. Maybe “feeling attractive” and “feeling sexy ” are different too. 

Thank you for touching on how accepting your body, liking you body, and feeling attractive are very different things. I have spent a lot of time learning to not hate my body and it felt very nice to read bout how that is not the end of the road. It's not something I have seen people talk about much; it's usually presented as if learning to accept your body automatically convinces you of those things.

This fic was just very meaningful to me as someone who has only recently started to look at their body with kindness and compassion - I have never been skinny at at my thinnest I was fucking miserable. For now, my acceptance is manly about what my body does for me, but this fic made me feel like one day I could actually love my body just for what it is.

Anon you are going to make me CRY 😭💕💕💕

I am so glad that my fic meant something to you. You deserve to adore your body and feel gorgeous no matter what. You're always welcome to dm me if you want, and know that I am so proud of the progress you've already made, and am rooting for you on the rest of your journey!

[five-and-dimes]

Going insane about kicked dog with rabies type characters

[five-and-dimes]

Just some silly Sandman doodles cuz I haven't been posting recently (sorry about that)