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five-oh-thirst · 6 months ago

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Mine

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Pairing: Jesse/Kix

Summary: When several omegas from the 501st are taken captive by alpha slave traders, Kix steps up to protect his brothers from one of the guards, but it leads to more consequences than he bargained for.

Tags & Warnings: 18+, NSFW, omegaverse, clones with vaginas, rape/non-con, forced voyeurism, rough sex, oral sex, cum swallowing, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, knotting, biting/marking, mating/bonding, mating bites, mating bond, forced bonding, mate stealing, breeding, pregnancy, m!preg, pregnancy sex, abortion, forced abortion, miscarriage, still birth, grief/mourning, violence, blood, whump, eventual happy ending

Word Count: 10.4k

Notes: I got sick of just staring at it, so I'm posting what I got and that'll be the end of it, lol. REMINDER: If you want to read the gruesome revenge scene, you need to read Chapter 3 on AO3. This version that I posted is the "clean" version.

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Kix's heart stopped. That modulated voice. That nickname. It couldn't be… Jesse? He slowly picked his head up and focused his puffy eyes on the alpha standing outside of his cell. The alpha was dressed in blue and gray arc trooper armor, heavy white kama hung at his hips, and a republic cog adorned his helmet. It was Jesse. The clone part of Kix's brain was relieved that help had finally arrived, but the omega part was terrified by Jesse's monstrous presence.

That was a strange thing about alpha and omega relationships. Alphas could mark as many omegas as they wanted and feel no attachment to any of them, but it was completely opposite for omegas. Omegas became physically and emotionally connected to their alphas through their bite marks. It became a powerful bond–an ownership–that controlled their senses and desires. It kept them loyal to their alphas, and no one else. Jesse wasn't Kix's alpha anymore, the bond was broken, so fear was the only emotion his brain let him feel.

Jesse used the guard's key to unlock the cell door and swung it open with a force that sent it slamming against the bars of the cell, causing every omega in the room to flinch. He stepped inside the cell, and Kix slid back. He stepped further in, and Kix slid back further. With every step Jesse took, Kix slid back an equal distance until he squished himself against the duracrete wall with nowhere else to go. Jesse tilted his head to the side, confused by Kix's reaction, but he had no way of knowing that their bond was broken.

"It's okay Kixie," Jesse said, voice deep and calm. He dropped the medical pack slung over his shoulder to the ground and knelt in front of Kix, but the way he towered over him made Kix feel small and vulnerable. Jesse pulled his bucket off and smiled. "It's just me." He reached out his hand to touch Kix's cheek, but Kix pulled away instead of leaning into it. Jesse bit his lip and retracted his hand, letting it rest on his thigh.

His eyes softened with concern as they wandered over Kix's naked body. He was covered head-to-toe in dirt and blood, fingernails cracked, broken, and blackened from scraping and clawing, palms and knees ripped open and scabbed over, wrists and ankles rubbed raw and bloody from the binders, and the meticulously groomed hair on his head and face had grown out into rough stubble. And then the smells . There were numerous scents on Kix and in the cell that Jesse couldn't make heads or tails of what was what and which was which.

Jesse twisted his face in disgust. "Mother kriffin' hells, what'd they do to you?"

His words were meant to be gentle, but it only sounded like anger to Kix. He tried to look Jesse in the eyes–the eyes he could stare into for hours; eyes that bore Jesse's soul to him–but he was too afraid. An omega making direct eye contact with a high ranking alpha was an act of defiance, not submission, and Jesse's presence was too powerful for his new, lower omega status. All Kix could do was look away and tremble like a leaf in front of him.

Jesse hesitated, but reached out and lightly took hold of one of Kix's shaking hands. "I'm just gonna take these off, okay?" He didn't wait for Kix to give him permission and used the guard's keys to unlock the binder on his wrist revealing the red, raw skin underneath. Jesse scrunched his nose at the sight, but kept himself calm. "There we go," he said. "Much better. Now let's get the others off." He released the rest of Kix's bindings with the same gentleness as the first and received little to no resistance from Kix; only the occasional whimper or wince at the discomfort.

Once the binders were removed, Jesse twisted his torso and tossed the key ring behind him to Fives who was leaning against the cell door waiting patiently so he could work on getting the other captured omegas free. The sight of Fives startled Kix, causing him to flinch back. He was so focused on the intimidating alpha in front of him that he didn't notice other alphas had entered the holding room. That was how powerful Jesse's presence was and it wasn't something Kix was used to feeling.

After Fives walked away, Jesse turned his focus back to Kix. He dug through the medical pack next to him, but the movement made Kix nervous, considering the last encounter he had with medical supplies, and he clawed at the wall behind him to try and get away, not even realizing his restraints were gone. Jesse quickly found the emergency blanket, electrolyte pack, and ration bar he was looking for and pulled them out.

When he looked up at Kix, he saw him trying to scurry away like a scared rabbit. Jesse scratched his head and sighed, the strange behavior was completely lost on him, so he decided to change his tactics. He put the items down and repositioned his legs from kneeling to sitting criss-cross, hoping it would look more inviting, then he tapped his knees. "C'mere, Kixie."

Kix rapidly shook his head and continued to try to escape through the wall.

"C'mon, cyare," Jesse said with a smile, trying to coax his mate to come to him. "You love to sit on my lap."

Kix stared at Jesse's thighs, transfixed by the rhythmic thud of his large hands against the plastoid cuisse, which registered in slow motion as a silent battle raged between the two halves of his brain. Familiar words and a familiar face wrestled with new words and a new face. He wanted it. He didn't want it. He wanted his alpha. He didn't want his alpha. He wanted Jesse. He didn't want Jesse. He didn't know what he wanted, and the only response he could come up with in the midst of his inner turmoil was to cry.

Jesse blinked in disbelief, completely baffled by the sudden, and seemingly unprovoked, tears. His mate was crying , and in a split second all the patience he came in with flew out the window. Without warning, he scooted forward, grabbed Kix, and pulled him into his lap.

Kix panicked and beat his already bloody hands against Jesse's chest plate to try and get away, crying and screaming for his alpha to help him–for the guard to save him–but he didn't come and Jesse didn't let go.

"Shh," Jesse whispered. "I'm here. I'm right here." He smoothed his gloved hands up and down Kix's back in a soothing manner, feeling him flinch under his fingertips with every pass across his spine. "Udesii, cyare. Please, calm down."

It took a minute, but the exhaustion finally caught up with him and as the adrenaline dump faded, Kix stopped struggling, only able to heave in deep breaths against Jesse's arc pauldron.

Jesse tipped Kix's chin up with his thumb and forefinger, forcing Kix to look into his eyes. He searched for a glint, a gleam, a sparkle, the stars–anything that was familiar–but he only saw a relentless fear and it broke his heart. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, leaned his forehead against Kix's, and invaded his breathing space. It was a simple gesture, one that many clones used as a calming technique on and off the battlefield, and one they both had used before.

Normally, Kix would melt into Jesse's embrace, breathe his air, feel his strong heartbeat, and soak in his presence, but Jesse wasn't his alpha. He was sitting in another alpha's lap and breathing another alpha's breath. It was wrong–it was all wrong–and his brain shot off every klaxon and alarm bell to get away from his captor. Kix pushed against Jesse's chest as hard as he could, throwing himself backward onto the floor, then kicked and flailed to get his legs free.

Jesse was surprised, but quickly scooped Kix back up, which only made him thrash about in earnest. "Stop fighting me!" Jesse yelled while trying to regain control. As Kix struggled, his arms and legs whacked into the corners and edges of Jesse's armor, hurting himself in his struggle. "Don't make me use my voice, Kixie." It was a threat made in love, but not one he wanted to go through with. "You know I hate using it on you!" But Kix wasn't listening, which left Jesse with no other choice. "Stop!"

The wild movements immediately ceased and Jesse exhaled a sigh of relief as Kix went limp in his arms. After a brief pause to ensure Kix wasn't going to move again, Jesse readjusted him so he was resting comfortably in his lap again. He held him there, tightly against his chest, and rocked just a bit to soothe him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Kix couldn't register the apology; his brain was mush. He couldn't even speak or move if he wanted to. Jesse's alpha voice was so powerful it made him want to stop everything–even breathing. It was great when he used his alpha voice during a battle or when he used it to protect him, but it was absolutely awful to be on the receiving end of it. There were only two instances Kix could remember when Jesse used his alpha voice on him, and both of them felt nothing compared to this one.

Now, with his mate calm and compliant, Jesse could get back to what he originally wanted to do. With one arm he held Kix up, and with the other, he leaned over and grabbed the emergency blanket. He flicked it open with one hand, then let Kix slump against his chest to wrap it around him, and that's when he finally saw it–the angry reddened skin where his bite mark was, or, used to be. He could tell it had been bitten over.

Jesse touched the inflamed skin with his index finger and Kix whimpered. "Who's mark is this?"

Kix was quiet, but his omega brain compelled him to answer the question. "My alpha," he whispered into Jesse's chestplate, barely able to hold back his tears. "Please, I just want my alpha."

"But I'm–" the rest of Jesse's thought was lost when the light bulb turned on. His bite mark was gone and was replaced by another alpha's mark. His mate was stolen from him and he didn't even realize it. Everything, all of Kix's reactions, finally made sense. "Kriff, I'm such an idiot. No wonder you're so scared of me." Jesse's heart raced as question after question flooded his brain. "Who is he? Where is he? I… I can fix this. Just tell me–"

"Jess," Kix cried, but it was more of a plea for help–the only plea his omega brain would allow. It was like banging on a cage in his mind, desperately wishing Jesse could hear him scream for help. He wanted Jesse, but he couldn't have Jesse. He needed his alpha. He needed the guard. He needed Jesse. He needed help, and as his brain continued to war with itself, his cries became louder until they turned into unrestrained sobs. The emergency blanket crinkled as Kix's body shook.

Jesse's heart shattered. "It's okay, shhh." He cupped Kix's face and rubbed his thumbs along his stubbly cheeks, wiping tears away with each pass. "You're safe now. I'm gonna fix this. I'm taking you home. Do you hear me? We're going home."

Home. Kix heard the word, but he didn't know what it meant. Home used to be wherever Jesse was, wherever his mate was, but now this place was his home. His home was right here, in the holding room, on the cell floor, chained to the wall, and waiting for the guard to visit him and fill him. He couldn't leave with Jesse–with another alpha–and leave his mate behind. What kind of mate would he be if he did that?

Jesse smiled fondly and placed his hand on Kix's belly. "We're all going home."

Kix froze, his sobs went silent. Jesse didn't know. Kix felt his stomach flip into his throat, just one move away from heaving its empty contents onto Jesse's chest. Jesse didn't know their baby was dead. What would he do if he found out? Would he kill him? That would be the correct alpha response to betrayal. He betrayed Jesse, didn't he? That's what happened, right? He killed Jesse's baby, took another alpha's knot, and let himself be marked. Jesse should kill him.

"Excuse me, alpha, sir," Tully said, somehow finding the courage to approach the intimidating alpha. He made sure to sit with his still bound hands in his lap to seem more submissive.

Jesse whipped his head to the side and Tully flinched. "Who are you?"

"Tully, sir. Kix's cellmate."

"Can you tell me what happened to him?" Jesse asked as he continued to rub Kix's belly in soothing circles. "He won't… He won't talk to me."

Tully barely cracked a smile, sadness brimming in his eyes. "He protected me."

Jesse huffed proudly. "Sounds like my Kixie. What else?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" Tully asked. There was hesitancy in his voice, but speaking to such a dominating alpha would make anyone's voice quiver.

Jesse gently placed his lips against the top of Kix's head and pulled him closer, the stubble scratching his chin. He took a deep breath, then turned to look at Tully. "Tell me everything."

Tully also took a deep breath to steady himself. It was a long story, but the alpha asked him, so he was compelled to tell it. He began with when he was first brought to the cell, and how Kix prevented him from being raped. He was delicate with the next part, when Kix was raped, but still honest. Tully contemplated whether or not he should tell him about the baby, but Jesse's defensive body language scared him, so he skipped to the part where Kix was forced to take the guard's knot and the guard marked him.

Jesse scrubbed his face with his hands and sighed heavily. "He's going to pay for that."

Kix flinched at the angry words, and Jesse immediately started rubbing his back to soothe him. Those threats were aimed at his alpha– his mate. He didn't want Jesse to hurt his mate. Alpha fights were nothing less than vicious bloodbaths and, most of the time, one of the alphas ended up dead.

Besides that, clones were forbidden from taking part in alpha fights. There was no use in an army of alphas that only wanted to kill each other. A clone could be court-martialed for even instigating an alpha fight.

Tully picked at a rock on the ground with his fingers, still contemplating the part about the baby. He knew he had to tell him, but he was afraid of his reaction, and if he, the messenger, would get caught in the alpha's rage. "There's one more thing…" His stomach turned into knots, but it was the right thing to do, even if he was scared.

Jesse knit his eyebrows. "What?"

"The baby–"

Jesse's eyes widened and his nose scrunched. "How do you know about that?"

Tully flinched at the alpha's tone, but he didn't get a chance to answer.

A dam broke inside of Kix. The cat was out of the bag. Jesse was going to find out about their baby and kill him for it like he deserved. "I'm sorry," Kix choked out. The words were garbled and distorted through tears and hiccoughs as he repeated them over and over again as images of an enraged and vengeful Jesse flooded his mind. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?" Jesse asked, calm, but confused. He placed his hand on Kix's belly and the other he used to tilt Kix's head up. "Kixie, is the baby okay?"

Kix sobbed harder, unable to answer the alpha.

"It's… gone," Tully said.

"Gone?" The word made no sense to Jesse. How could the baby be gone? It was right there, inside of Kix. "Gone where?" he asked.

"I killed it!" Kix blurted out through his sobs. "I killed my baby. I'm sorry, Jesse. I'm sorry. Please!"

A range of emotions flashed across Jesse's face but he was unable to hold onto a single one. He looked down at Kix's belly, watched and felt as it convulsed along with Kix's heaving sobs. Was it really gone? Could it actually be dead? Did Kix kill their baby? How? Why? Jesse refused to believe any of it.

To help hide the pregnancy from the GAR, Kix never doted on himself in the presence of others, even Jesse, but Jesse knew how much Kix was in love with that baby–their baby. He remembered all the times he stole glances of Kix looking at himself in the mirror, rubbing his belly, smiling like an idiot, thinking no one could see him. But Jesse saw him. There was no way Kix would've gotten rid of their baby on purpose. He was too in love with it.

"Kix didn't kill it," Tully said, his voice quiet and sad. Jesse's attention snapped away from his thoughts and he looked over at the young clone. "The guard did. He gave him some type of shot in his arm…" Tully pointed at the darkened spot on the floor. "He birthed it over there." Tully looked away, drew his knees up to his chest like he did the first day he came there, and buried his face in them. "They threw it in the incinerator."

Jesse wasn't sure if the feeling in his stomach was rage or nausea, or a mixture of both, but there was one thing he was sure about. He was going to rip that guard to shreds. "He's a dead man," Jesse said under his breath. He turned to Kix, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look into his eyes. "Do you hear me Kix? I'm gonna kill him."

Kix's eyes widened and he pulled his head out of Jesse's hands. "No, don't!"

The plea was more than his omega brain not wanting Jesse to kill his alpha, it was something much deeper that Jesse couldn't fully grasp. A mating bond severed by death was a traumatic event, even worse than losing a baby. It was arguably the most excruciating pain an omega could endure, if they even survived, and one an alpha could never begin to understand.

While Kix had never experienced it personally, he'd seen it first hand. A trooper dropping to his knees in the midst of a firefight, screaming and wailing, ripping their bucket off, clawing at the bite mark on their neck until it bled. The trooper shot himself before Kix could get to him. If restrained in time, an omega could survive their mate's death, but it rarely happened like that in war.

"But–"

"Please!" Kix begged. He clawed at Jesse's chest plate, tears streaming down his face. "Don't kill my mate. Please."

Jesse was at a loss. He felt for Kix and the new bond he had, he truly did, but this was non-negotiable. It wasn't just a matter of mate stealing anymore. His baby was dead. Making the baby was an accident, but that didn't mean Jesse wanted it any less–he loved it–and now it was gone–killed by a rival alpha. It was an unforgivable sin, and not one that Jesse's alpha instincts could ignore, even with Kix's heartfelt pleading. "I'm sorry, but I have to."

"Mark me," Kix said. It went against everything his omega brain wanted, but he had to get through to Jesse. He had to make him understand.

Jesse shook his head. "No. Not here. Not now. This isn't the time or place for that."

"Please," Kix said, voice shaking as he tried to convince him before his omega brain shut him up. "Do it now."

"Without my knot–"

"I don't care!" Kix's hands trembled as he gripped Jesse's forearms. "If you're gonna kill my mate… at least break the bond first." His entire body shook as he used every bit of his strength to look into Jesse's eyes. "Jesse, please… I can't lose anything else. If you still love me, mark me."

Jesse saw the hurt, pain, and fear in those tear-filled brown eyes and he caved like he always did when Kix wanted something. "Of course I still love you," he whispered. Jesse took a deep breath and released it slowly. "It's gonna hurt like hell and I won't be able to stop."

In response, Kix rested his head on Jesse's shoulder pauldron and bared his neck to him.

Jesse knew what he had to do, and it killed him. But firstly, he didn't need a crowd for what he was about to do to Kix, so he turned his head towards the cell door and called for Fives. The alpha didn't respond. The second time, he yelled. "Fives, get your tongue out of Echo's throat and get over here!"

Within a few seconds, Fives was at their cell door with an annoyed expression on his face. "Kriff, vod, my mate was missing too, you know."

"Take care of the shiny," Jesse said as he gestured towards Tully. "Make sure he gets back safe. I… I have to fix my mark and I don't need an audience."

Fives raised an eyebrow and looked from Kix to Tully and back to Jesse, then shrugged. "Sure."

After a few short strides, Fives knelt in front of Tully and unlocked his binders. He helped the young omega off the floor and motioned for him to follow him out of the cell. Once out of the cell and in the middle of the room, Fives made another hand motion towards the cell that held Echo and Denal, except Denal was gone. And as Tully looked around the room, he noticed Tup and Dogma were also gone. The other alphas must have taken them out already.

Without fuss, Echo emerged from the cell and glued himself to Fives' side. Fives wrapped a protective arm around Echo, then turned his head to look at Tully. "Come on vod'ika," he said with a smile. "We don't want to stick around for this."

Tully fell into stride with the two clones, but looked back at his cell, then at Fives. "Why? What's gonna happen?"

"Jesse's gonna dry mark him… I think."

"Dry mark?"

"It's marking without a knot," Echo added. Tully still looked confused, so he continued his explanation. "When an omega takes a knot, our bodies release hormones to dull the pain of marking. Without it… Well, I've heard it's an excruciating experience."

Tully shivered at the thought. He didn't have a clue what it felt like to get a regular bite mark, let alone a dry one. He was made to believe that marking was a blissful experience. At least, that's what Clever told him every time he brought it up, and it's not like he didn't want to do it, but there was always a slight hesitation. The more he thought about it, the more anxious he became, and he grabbed his own arm and squeezed it for comfort.

Noticing Tully's displeasure with the topic, Fives opened his other arm for Tully to join him and Echo. "C'mere, kid."

Tully was a little surprised by the invitation, but didn't second guess the offer, and gladly fell under the alpha's arm, who, with all due respect, was way less intimidating than Kix's alpha. The arc trooper wasn't his alpha, not that he had an official one anyway, but his presence did have a calming effect nonetheless.

"You got an alpha, vod'ika?" Fives asked as they stepped through the holding room door and into a dim, long, inclined hallway with doors lining the sides.

"Kinda, sorta."

"Well, when you get back to the battalion make sure to tell him how you feel."

Tully blushed.

"Oh," Fives added with a salacious smirk. "And ask him to pop your cherry while you're at it."

"Pop my… what?"

Echo turned his head to the side and took a nip at Five's fingers, the only thing in reach not covered by armor. "Be nice."

"Ow!" Fives exclaimed. He wrung his hand out from the pain of the nibble and looked at Tully. "Trust me, vod'ika, he'll know what it means."

Echo laughed. "You're a menace."

"But you still love me." Fives turned his head and kissed Echo's temple, nuzzling his nose into the soft curls. As they reached the end of the long hallway, Fives grabbed the handle of the door in front of him and breathed a sigh of relief. "Alright, time to get you two out of this place."

"But what about Kix?" Tully asked.

Fives smiled. "Don't worry, Jesse's got him. We'll wait for them outside of this Maker-forsaken bunker."

Tully nodded and followed Fives and Echo outside.

Back in the cell, Jesse was still struggling with Kix's request. "I'm going to ask you one more time," he said. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Kix whined and rubbed his neck against Jesse's. He couldn't beg for it. He couldn't ask for it. Maker, he wished Jesse could just crawl inside his mind and see for himself what the guard did to his brain–to his instincts. A piece of him was desperately wanting to bust out of the cocoon he was wrapped in when the guard sank his fangs into his mating mark and bonded to him, and then crawl into Jesse's skin.

Jesse warred with himself. He didn't want to hurt Kix. He hated hurting Kix, but to watch him in such a state of distress was also torture. With a heavy sigh, he leaned back and removed the top portion of his armor until his chest, stomach, back, shoulders, and neck were all exposed, but he kept his blacks on. He gently pulled Kix's forehead against his. "Bite, claw, scratch, whatever you need. You won't hurt me."

Kix nodded.

Jesse took a deep breath before he readjusted their positions. He'd never bonded sitting up before, or without his knot, so he needed to ensure he could keep Kix still until he was done. He removed the emergency blanket, then sat Kix on the floor with his legs outstretched in a v-shape, wrapped his legs over and around Kix's hips, which was uncomfortable, but was the easiest to hold him down with, then encircled his arms around his waist, locking Kix's torso against his. The angles were odd, but it left Kix's arms and hands free.

With Kix safely secured, Jesse ghosted his lips over the inflamed mating gland and kissed it. It was hot to the touch. Kix flinched at the stinging sensation and Jesse grimaced. To be marked twice, so close together, was one type of pain, but to be dry marked on top of that was another. "I'm so sorry," Jesse said, then he bit down.

Kix screamed, a blood curdling scream, and thrashed against Jesse's body trying to escape from the bite–yelling, begging, and pleading for him to stop–but Jesse held him firm, muscles tensed and rock solid. He snaked one of his hands up Kix's back and pushed his face into his shoulder to try and get him to bite down so he didn't have to hear him scream.

Most alphas could tune out an omega's screams. It was part of their nature–part of claiming and mating–but not Jesse. Hearing Kix scream made him angry. It made adrenaline dump into his system. His mate was screaming. His mate was crying. His mate was hurting. And it made Jesse want to end the life of whoever was making him suffer, but that someone was himself.

Kix bit into Jesse's shoulder, through his blacks, through his skin, and straight into the bone of his clavicle, while his cracked fingernails dug into the muscles of Jesse's back, but Jesse didn't feel a thing. He was only focused on completing the bond and nothing else.

His internal alpha clock ticked agonizingly slow as he waited for the bond to complete. It wasn't something he could rush. If he let go, even one nano-second too soon, he'd have to start over and put Kix through it all again.

Finally, the bond was complete and Jesse released Kix's neck as every tense muscle in Kix's body relaxed. They were both panting from the exertion and leaned against each other to hold themselves up. Jesse attentively licked at the blood that dripped from the fresh bite mark– his bite mark–until it stopped bleeding.

When Kix regained some of his senses, he picked his head up and smiled at his mate as though he was seeing him for the very first time. "Jesse," he whispered, his voice frail. "I'm yours again."

Jesse smiled back and rested his forehead against Kix's. "You're mine. Whether we're marching in this life or the next, you'll always be mine."

Kix choked out a sob, not out of sadness, but because he was finally free and he could look into Jesse's eyes without fear. Overwhelmed with emotion, Kix crashed his dry, cracked lips against Jesse's soft ones with a force that almost knocked them both over. He needed to feel Jesse, he needed to be enveloped by him, and he needed him to kiss him back. And he did, but not fervently. Jesse's kiss was soft, gentle, warm, and so loving it made Kix homesick.

When they parted for air, Kix nuzzled and purred against his chest. "Thank you."

Jesse smiled and rubbed Kix's back in soothing strokes. He felt Kix's body shiver under his touch, and he grabbed the emergency blanket and wrapped it around Kix to keep him warm. He also leaned over and grabbed the electrolyte pack and the ration bar and put them both in Kix's hands. "Finish these for me while I go settle my score. I promise I'll be right back."

"Don't go!" Kix exclaimed. He threw his arms securely around Jesse's neck, trying to get him to stay. He knew Jesse had to deal with the other alpha, but they just bonded and he needed more physical contact than a simple kiss. He needed Jesse's body, his warmth, his heartbeat, and his voice. He couldn't leave him now.

Jesse chuckled and kissed Kix on the nose as he moved him off his lap and stood up. "You're so cute when you're needy." He looked down at his mate, and rubbed his thumb along Kix's chin making him close his eyes and purr. "Maker, I missed you." Now, Jesse didn't want to leave, but he had business to take care of, and when he was done, he knew Kix would be right here waiting for him.

When he pulled his hand away, Kix whined and Jesse groaned in response. He could never ignore Kix after marking, but he quickly got an idea to try and make the short time away a little more bearable. He grabbed the hem of his top blacks, pulled it over his head, and handed it to Kix. "A promise," he said. "That I'll come back for you."

Kix dropped the items in his hand, grabbed the garment, and rubbed it against his face, inhaling Jesse's scent like oxygen. "You'll make him pay?"

The longer Jesse watched Kix scent himself with his shirt, the more his alpha instincts kicked into overdrive. His beautiful omega–his gorgeous mate–was stolen from him by another alpha, and it was about time for that alpha to pay his dues. "With his life."

Kix smiled.

When Jesse returned to the holding room, Kix immediately noticed the blood painted across his arms and chest, splatters of crimson stained his white kama and thigh plates, and some smeared across his face where it looked like he tried to wipe it off. Kix smiled because he knew it wasn't Jesse's blood and the sight made his heart skip a few beats. There was something deeply carnal about seeing his mate covered in another alpha's blood, especially knowing his mate won.

Kix kept his eyes trained on Jesse as he approached the cell, returning just as he promised, and it delighted Kix when he knelt down and pressed his lips against his. It was a hot, searing, and desperately needy kiss, fueled by the testosterone and adrenaline that was still coursing through Jesse's body from his fight. The kiss was only broken by the need for air, but Jesse continued to nip at Kix's bottom lip, a subtle gesture that Kix loved.

"It's over," Jesse whispered. "They can't hurt you anymore."

Kix was happy that his captors were gone and that the guard got what he deserved, but he could only muster a bittersweet smile, one that crinkled the corner of his eyes and made a few tears slip down his face.

Jesse licked at them. "I know."

Kix sniffled, trying to compose himself, then changed the subject. "What'd you do to him?"

Jesse smirked, relishing in the way his body still felt after his successful kill. "I mounted him like the little bitch he was, cut his cock and balls off, stuffed 'em down his throat till he choked on it, and then slit his throat. Oh, and then kicked his lifeless corpse into oblivion."

Kix chuckled at the mental images.

"Was that enough?" Jesse asked, eyes full of concern. "Do you feel avenged?"

Kix smiled. "More than enough."

Jesse leaned in to kiss him on the nose and used the distraction to take back his upper blacks.

"Hey!" Kix gasped. He tried to grab it back, but Jesse was too quick and slipped it over his head. "That's mine!"

"I let you borrow it," Jesse corrected as he started to meticulously replace his armor pieces. "I can't carry you and my armor at the same time, and we both know that armor without blacks pinches in all the wrong places."

Kix pouted. "I can walk."

Jesse adjusted his arc pauldrons, slung the medical bag over his shoulders, and raised an eyebrow. "If you think I'm letting you walk, then you're gonna need a head scan. I'm carrying you back, and that's final. You'll have plenty of time to smell me after I've cleaned you up and dressed your wounds."

"I can dress my own wounds," Kix grumbled. "I am a medic, you know."

Jesse sighed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." He scooped Kix off the floor and up into his arms, and readjusted the emergency blanket to keep his body covered. "And I'm your alpha, which means you have to do as I say."

Kix groaned, but he didn't argue with Jesse with the notion that he'd win, because deep down he wanted to be taken care of. He was exhausted and barely able to stand on his wobbly legs, but his ego was deeply bruised and being a helpless omega reopened old wounds he had buried long ago. Jesse knew as much, since he was there when those wounds were created, so he also knew his game–the tough skin that Kix put on when he was powerless and afraid.

Jesse brushed his nose against Kix's. "It's okay. I've got you."

Without further protest, he carried Kix out of the cell, the holding room, and through the dim, long, inclined corridor to the large metal door at the end that led to the outside. The door slid open and Kix squinted at the sudden bright light and turned his head into Jesse's chestplate to shield his eyes. He didn't know how long it had been since he'd seen the sun, but the warmth felt good. It was a stark contrast to the dark and damp cell he'd been living in.

The walk back to camp was quiet, even though they all went back together. Kix kept his gaze on the vertical blue line running down Jesse's chestplate, too embarrassed to look elsewhere in fear of making eye contact with the others. He just wanted to be alone with Jesse and away from prying eyes and questioning words. They all knew what happened, or at least most of them did and the others had an idea, but Kix didn't want anyone to bring it up, ever.

As they approached the camp, Kix heard someone yell Tully's name followed by a loud thud, which he could only assume was Tully's kinda-sorta alpha tackling him to the ground. It made Kix smile. He was glad they were reunited, but their happiness came at a cost–a hefty cost. There was a small part of him that was jealous. He could've let the guard do what he wanted to Tully. He could've let the young omega be raped, and knotted, and marked, and maybe his baby would've survived. It felt unfair.

Kix shook his head at the nasty thoughts. At least he was alive, and he had Jesse back, so he should be feeling grateful, but the emptiness he felt in his womb was still louder than any happy thought he could muster. The ache lingered in his heart and flashes of images and memories of what happened to his baby strangled him from the inside out. It was so loud that he didn't realize Jesse had walked straight through the camp without stopping.

"Jess?" Kix asked, picking his head up and turning it to look at the expanse of trees in front of them.

"There's a river not far from here," Jesse said, already knowing the next question. "It's fresh and clear water so I can clean you up. Brought a spare set of blacks too."

That was his Jesse; always thinking ahead and making a plan for his plan. With his concerns abated, Kix settled his head back down to rest against Jesse's chestplate and sighed. At least his ugly train of thought was derailed, but it would be back on track soon enough. He wasn't a fool to think the thoughts would just disappear without haunting him for a while, and maybe they'd never leave.

It was a few more minutes of walking in silence before the grove of trees turned into a clearing and Kix could hear the sound of moving water. Maker, he didn't realize how much he missed fresh water. The water in the bowl he drank from in the cell tasted like death, and he'd probably need antibiotics for it, not to mention the act of drinking from it like a dog was nothing short of demeaning. He was grateful for the hydration pack Jesse gave him, but it wasn't the same as fresh water.

"I'm gonna put you down for a sec," Jesse said as he approached the sandy edge of the river, then he carefully sat Kix down on the little beach. "Gotta take my clothes off."

The sand was soft, but not soft enough for all of Kix's bruises and scrapes. The emergency blanket helped cushion some of it, but he could still feel every grain of sand pressing into his sore body, and he whined. "I need a stim."

Jesse hopped on one foot as he pulled his lower blacks off, rendering him completely naked, then he crouched down in front of Kix. "Once we're back at camp. You know those things knock you out."

"Maybe I don't feel like being alive right now," Kix mumbled. He was only half-joking. A part of him wished he could fall asleep and not wake up. Going through the trauma was one thing, but having to relive it in his mind day after day was a completely different battle that Kix was not ready nor willing to fight.

Jesse sighed and scooped Kix out of the emergency blanket and carried him into the river, but only up to his knees, then he lowered both himself and Kix into the water. The river wasn't moving fast, but just enough to wash the top layer of dirt away. The coolness of the water was an initial shock to Kix's raw skin, but it quickly became soothing, and Jesse smiled when he felt Kix relax in his lap.

Jesse let Kix adjust the to the water, then cupped the some with his hands and gently poured it over Kix's head. Some of it beaded up against the short hair that had grown in and ran off his head and down his face and neck. Jesse repeated the motion until the area was soaked, then he used a cloth to wipe away most of the dirt, grime, and blood. It was an odd feeling for Kix, to have Jesse cleaning him while he himself was still covered in dried blood, but he wasn't about to complain.

"I can shave this down for you when we get back to camp," Jesse said as he ran the cloth against the nape of Kix's neck.

Kix made an indifferent noise. "How would you feel if I let it grow out?"

Jesse's hand stopped for a moment then he shrugged. "It'd take some getting used to, but I don't mind."

"You sure?" Kix asked. "I'd look different."

Jesse chuckled. "I don't care what you look like as long as you stay mine."

They both remained silent as Jesse continued to clean Kix's body. He was meticulous, but gentle with his movements. Kix could tell when Jesse was having a hard time seeing all the damage underneath the dirt. He could see it in the way he moved the cloth differently, he could hear it in the way his breathing changed, and he could feel it in the way his body tensed and relaxed. It made Kix wonder, but wondering was dangerous. Wondering could devolve into resentment and Kix wasn't sure if he wanted to stop that or invite it in.

"Jess," Kix said.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you come sooner?" Kix asked. He knew the answer already, but he wanted to hear it from Jesse. He wanted to get the question out of his head.

Jesse took a deep breath. "I wanted to."

"But why didn't you?" Kix pressed. He needed to know.

"We had to finish the mission," Jesse said quietly. He wanted to explain the rest of the story–how when they realized the omegas were taken, panic erupted, or that he went toe-to-toe with Rex when he was ordered not to leave, or that he contemplated deserting. There were a million things from his point of view that Kix didn't know, but that didn't matter at the moment, because there wasn't a single explanation that could make any of it better.

Kix knew that's what the answer would be, but it still hurt to hear it out loud. The mission. It came before everything, even him–even their baby. But that's what they were created to do, right? Complete the mission. So why was it burning a hole through his gut? Why was he so angry? Would he have done the same thing if the roles were reversed? Could he leave Jesse behind to complete a mission? He could never.

"You broke your promise," Kix said, his voice cracking as the emotions began to seep out.

"I know," Jesse said, his own voice wavering as he tried to navigate the touchy subject. "And I don't blame you if you're mad at me or hate me or whatever you're feeling right now."

The dam broke and Kix let his tears and anger flow. "How could you let this happen?" he asked. "To me. To us. After everything we've been through… The amount of times you've had my back and the one time I needed you most, you left me. You abandoned me and–" Kix tried to bite back his true feelings, because he knew they were wrong, but they were too strong for him to keep inside.

"It's okay," Jesse whispered, his eyes soft and sad. "You can say it."

"It's your fault!" Kix cried, slamming his fist against Jesse's chest. It was a weak gesture in his state, but it got the point across. More images of the horror Kix went through flashed through his mind and he couldn't stop himself. "You let our baby die. You chose the mission over us and it died. You killed it."

The words were like a knife in Jesse's heart, but he knew Kix needed to get it out, so he didn't deny any of it. It was a burden he was willing to bear if it made Kix feel better. "I know," he said. "And there's nothing I can say to bring it back, but I'm so sorry, Kixie. I didn't want this. You've gotta know that. I didn't want you to get hurt and I didn't want our baby to die."

Kix didn't respond, but continued to cry, and Jesse didn't say anything else on the matter. There wasn't anything else he could say. So, he let Kix cry in silence, to release whatever emotions were inside as he continued to clean his outside. He wished he could wash the memories away along with the dirt, but that's not how it worked. Kix bore an invisible wound on his heart, one that Jesse couldn't reach with his hands or his words. Nothing could touch it.

When Jesse was done with Kix, he quickly cleaned himself, then dried them both off and dressed Kix in a clean pair of blacks. The tightness of the blacks instantly calmed Kix, and Jesse took the moment to clothe himself and put his armor back on. It was still full of blood, but he could clean it later. His top priority was getting Kix back to camp and into the medical tent. Once all his armor pieces were attached, he stuffed the emergency blanket back into the medical pack, slung it over his shoulders, and picked Kix up to start their journey back.

Oddly enough, the walk back was even quieter than the walk there, like there was a dark cloud looming overhead that threatened to rain down on them if they spoke. Kix knew it was his fault. He invited the cloud to follow them by opening his mouth. He was the one that got angry and said horrible things to the man he loved, but he wasn't quite ready to apologize. Jesse had apologized, but it wasn't enough. It didn't dull the ache or make the nasty thoughts go away. If anything, it only made them louder.