for-myself-16-blog

[for-myself-16-blog]

To be honest I started this 'blog' to just get my feelings about there about things that just pop into my head . But it's helped a lot over the past few months, I used to either keep all of my emotions bottled up and break down into tears or write them down physically in a diary but that didn't work, so I did this, to possibly help people or just for my own benefit, I'm proud of myself if I'm honest

[for-myself-16-blog]

Affection

Affection is something you crave , something you can never seem to get enough of , your emotive in life is to be satisfied by affection because it shows love and care between two people.

[for-myself-16-blog]

15th February 2017

Today's been okay, not the best, but not the worst. Would be nice to get some reconisation from people I love though

[for-myself-16-blog]

Years

1 year, may seem short, may seem long , but within a year it can change a lot about a person. A year ago I was in a toxic relationship which I saw no way of getting out of , I was being pressurised to do stuff I did not want to be apart of , but I did it to make others happy. I had friendships with people that I disliked and just was there because I had no one else, I was vulnerable and did what anyone said because otherwise I was scared of the consequences. I wouldn't have said my opinions because I was scared of the backlash I'd get of people. A year later I've realised who I am, gotten rid of the bad people in my life. Made some really good friends who I'm very happy with. I stand up for myself without taking anyone's shit towards me, I know life lessons in what not to do , I'm more independent and confident, I'm in a relationship I've longed for the past two years and I'm happy, the happiest I've been in a while , I haven't been depressed , or let alone cried in a long time. And yeah , I'm only 16 and people think I know nothing , that's their opinion because I know what I'm doing and I'm happy with it.

[for-myself-16-blog]

Appreciation

All I want is some appreciation, to know I'm worth a little to human kind , that I'm not such a bad person that I make myself to be. I want to feel actually good about myself for once and you're the only person who can make me feel that way

[for-myself-16-blog]

1 Year

A year ago. I've changed a lot. Lost friends, gained friends. This time last year I didn't know who I was or what was going to happen in my life , I had no direction on what I wanted to do after school and who I wanted to be in a relationship with. Something's had turned out well, I'm in a relationship with the person I've loved most of my life as well as some great friends who make me laugh a lot on a daily basis. I've gained a lot more confidence within myself and am starting to be more who I am, I've broken out of my shell that I was in 6 months ago, and that's because of the people I've met in my last few months who have made me laugh and smile. A year ago I wouldn't have stuck up for myself , I would have just gone along with the crowd and agree on things I wasn't strong about. A year ago I would've easily gone back to idiots to played around with my emotions , but now , they message me now and I feel nothing , and I have no idea what to say or how to act. Like how people who I knew back then talk to me now they realise that I've changed , I'm confident and actually happy within myself which I'm pretty damn proud of tbh.

[for-myself-16-blog]

Everytime I look at him I smile , the small side grin he does makes me so overwhelmed it gives me so many butterflies it hurts. He's adorable and I love him, to his small comments , to silly "you're strange" comments , he's perfect and no one will be over his position I'm my life

[for-myself-16-blog]

Daily Inspirational and relatable quote pictures! Follow for more.

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Attachment

I get attached , attached to the point of breaking down if I even leave them for a short period of time. I cry , I get hella emotional about small things. I just crave someone's presence around me

[for-myself-16-blog]

Saying goodbye

I lost her , and I'm happy about it . We grew together, learnt about eachothers individuality and were very close , now we are apart , she took the wrong direction in life and shoved me to the side of her priorities, I gave up , I gave up trying to help her because at the end of it all, it lead to nothing , I distanced myself for a number of reasons which are unexplainable , I just can't be her friend anymore and I hope she understands that

[for-myself-16-blog]

29-01-2017

Today has been a good day, no depressing thoughts and it's 11:10. Spent the day with a loved one , shopped, went on a food date , watched a basketball match , and went back to his. It was good. Full of laughter and happiness , he makes me happy, I hope I make him happy too! So far has been one of the best weekends of the year , had a party Friday which was pretty good and now this. No sad thoughts have passed through my mind. Really happy right now

[for-myself-16-blog]

Being with the right person✨

I've been in relationships , and when people tell me that if I liked them enough I would feel something when I kissed them but I always thought that was a shitty myth people said , or I just thought I didn't enjoy making out with someone as much as any one else . But when it happened with by current boyfriend , it felt so good. It was honestly the best feeling in the world , everything just seemed to work out , the timing, length , not too much but not too little , it was perfect , and I can't begin to comprehend how much I loved it as much as I love him myself. It was the best I've ever felt in a while , I love him

[for-myself-16-blog]

25-01-2017

Today's been sad, depression is a high 8.3, can't get happy

[for-myself-16-blog]

Memories

I walk past you everyday and we both act like nothing ever happened between us. We fell for eachother , not just a little , a lot. And yet I see you multiple times a day and as I walk past you it just makes me emotional, like I want to just randomly go over to you and hug you and tell you everything is going to be okay. I'm not going to lie when I say that I do miss you, our talks , deep discussions, even our arguments , but that's over , and I know that it's my fault and I'll never get that back but I still want you to know that I care even if you don't for me. But deep down we knew it wasn't going to work, but I just want you to know that I still do care and I'm always here.

[for-myself-16-blog]

[for-myself-16-blog]

22-01-17

Today has been a good day , the first time I've been happy in a while , when things think they are going to get worse , they get better , things always work out no matter what state you're in

[for-myself-16-blog]

Depression //

Yes. I'd say I'm another one of them depressing girls on tumblr with vans and a denim jacket thinking their so indie af. But tbh I wanna be worth more than that. In my everyday life I feel depressed , but I not label myself as it because I don't want to be that. I say to myself that I'm a happy individual with quite a lot of knowledge considering my young age , but I have so many deep, dark depressing thoughts with sometimes I can't handle my feelings. I overthink , overthinking leads to assuming things, and assuming things leads to more depressing outcomes . It reaches the point of me most nights laying in bed couped up with my thoughts and unable to control them. I wish things were different