fortjester

[fortjester]

my buddy brings her angel girlfriend to the function, I spend the whole time refusing to look at or even acknowledge her existence, because I am a staunch atheist and dont believe in that nonsense. she starts to throw things at my head to get my attention and between volleys of marbles and kitchen utensils I grunt "swamp gas. aurora borealis. probably a weather balloon.youre seeing things"

[fortjester]

dressing and acting like bruno mars for 8 days straight grinning and laughing dancing and twisting being all sexy and short until i pass out from dehydration/exhaustion with no prior signs of distress

[fortjester]

i hate hate hate when i cant share a funny piece of information bc it doxxes me . What if i want to share my information i fucking love my information #myinformation

[fortjester]

@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / bone deep, m.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / @fridayiminlovemp3 / 60 hours, m.v.e / @itsblackleader / Salt, Nayyirah Waheed / @heavensghost

[fortjester]

This is one of the hottest things a man has ever done.

[fortjester]

Costume designed by Gabriella Pescucci for Michelle Pfeiffer in A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1999)

[fortjester]

Just updated my Ao3 profile and realised it’s old enough to legally drive in the US. 😂

Got it in March 2010 and the user ID is four digits long.

Reblog with when you got your Ao3 account and how long your user ID is.

[fortjester]

“google” alerts on for king arthur. you never know

[fortjester]

tennis is such a beautiful sport because its like what if we all went reaaally quiet so we can hear these people moan when they hit a little ball

[fortjester]

They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket

[fortjester]

[fortjester]

lighting them on fire because im scared

[fortjester]

Labyrinth \\\ via

[fortjester]

[fortjester]

Very important question

[fortjester]

every once in a while im totally normal about camilla hect btw