fortloser

[fortloser]

@fortloser doodle dump!

[fortloser]

What's the red team to you guys?? clones??? doppelgangers maybe?

Great question! I think this is all just some freaky coincidence, I mean how lucky does this planet have to be to get multiple good-looking scouts?

Demo drew up some comparisons between us and RED #2710. Never knew the big guy could draw until I saw him trying to draw his own heart mid-surgery. He's such a freak,,

//This is scout signing off!

[fortloser]

Oh mein gott in himmel! You captured my likeness to a T!! Your usage of water colors is most impressive and is very pleasant to my eyes, which is not something I can say about a lot of art these days... Thank you so much for this wonderful piece of art, I must print it out and place it somewhere in my medbay!

Stay healthy my friend!

With kind regards, medic <3

《《《

HOLY CRAP, YOU MADE ME LOOK FREAKIN' AWESOME!! This is gonna make the other guys so jealous!! I've never actually had someone draw me before so uh,, thanks a lot dude! I'm totally keeping this drawing and there's no takesies backsies!

//This is your buddy scout signing off!

Here is some fanart for the lovely medic and scout from fort loser <3

thank you for letting me draw you guys ^^ @fortloser

[fortloser]

Hello!

is it ok if I do some fanart of you guys? If yes i would love a reference photo or two that you guys would like drawn. If no, thats ok.

hope you all the best!

Hello everyone! It is me, the medic!

I would be honored to have my likeness illustrated by you! Now I'm not very photogenic but I hope this helps! However please do not feel like you need to adhere to the reference, draw whatever you feel most comfortable with.

Stay healthy!

with kind regards medic

Scout here!

You want to draw me? I mean, who wouldn't want to draw me! I hope you know that I totally could've been a model. You know what, scratch that! I AM a model. just look at this. It looks like it came straight from one of those fashion magazines!

Uh,, Don't tell Nurse I stole his camera to take this photoshoot. He'll totally freak out!

//this is scout signing off!

[fortloser]

Who usually does the chores around base? :]

(Absolutely love this blog so far btw!! The SFM work is awesome and the characters are portrayed so well!)

Hello everyone! It's me, the Medic! 

For big cleanups (scorch marks, large jarate spills, debris from fights, etc.… ) we have a janitor. However, we are responsible for the more mundane chores like laundry and doing the dishes. I wish I could tell you that everyone does their chores on time without complaining but I don't think I could stomach a lie like that my friend.

Scout usually does the dishes, Demo and Heavy do laundry, Soldier and Sniper are on garbage duty, and engineer fixes the pumbling and other things around the base.

Pyro always picks up the slack of others though, perhaps a little too frantically? I regularly catch them cleaning up a mess that isn't even there and nights where I can hear them vacuum in the distance aren't a rarity. It's not that they are scared of germs (far from it actually, they spend most of their time with Scout and Soldier!), but they have this need for things to be the way they were before. I do find this behavior worrying.

Stay healthy! With kind regards, Medic

transcript of medics private note:

"I wish I could help them in some way, but they do not trust me. I must admit it hurts when they accept a bandaid warily. I must be even nicer tomorrow."

[fortloser]

Hello!

To anyone from the team who wants to answer this: what are yall's favorite thing to do when you're bored? Or just something you do often to pass time? Have a good day/night - 🐈

Scout here!

It's been a hot minute since we shared anything, and let me tell you something, it's been bizz-ay! Trust me, most of these guys don't really have anything going on for them (unlike me because I'm awesome!!) That's why we gather around for poker every sunday. It's a decent way to end the week, i guess.

But i had to take the stupid picture. Can you believe that?? Medic can be such douche, apparently not knowing how poker works is enough to exclude me from the photo!

Anyway, everyone was having a great time until Sniper kept cheating the guys out of their money. (the dude is banned from at least 26 different casinos all around the globe) way to ruin the fun jackass! Bet you're real popular at parties,,

//this is scout signing off

[fortloser]

the mercenaries favourite animal?

Hallo everyone! It is me, the medic!

There are plenty of animal lovers among us! Herr Demo owns a pet bunny named Wick, as far as I'm aware it is also his favorite animal. Pyro enjoys any animal really but they love strays and Herr Heavy likes to pretend he hates cats but I saw him cuddling with that stray some time after I took this photo.

Herr Sniper seems to enjoy them the most, or do the animals enjoy him? I have this ongoing theory his pungent unique oder makes him more appealing to animals,,

the soldier has his rather rotund dog, I could not tell you what breed the mutt is supposed to be,, Our engineer seems to be an animal lover as well, he grew up on a farm after all! Though he appears to have a soft spot for pigs, I don't get the appeal but to each their own. Spy and Scout dont seem that fond of animals though.

And that leaves me as last, well I don't think it bears repeating but I love birds! All of them are lovely, gentle, majestic creatures that deserve love. Chickens however are in a league of their own in my humble opinion! I love them the most! I've always loved chickens, when I was still a youth my father kept chickens in his backyard and I'd often find myself among them studying or reading as they sat around me. When I left for America my father gave me one of them so I always had something to remind me of home. Greta and Bertha are the second generation stemming from that very Hen.

Stay healthy!

With kind regards, medic

[fortloser]

can the other mercenaries answer the ask too :)c? I want to ask heavy how his guns are doing

"Is silly question, heavy always takes good care of gun! why would gun be doing bad? heavy cannot crush tiny baby men if gun is doing bad."

[fortloser]

Hallo, everyone! It's me, medic!

There are no silly pictures today. Our team has started to go on tour, which means a lot of moving and a lot of fighting. Sadly enough, that does mean I have to cut down on the number of pictures I can share in a week! (Quality over quantity, I suppose)

Stay healthy!

With kind regards medic

[fortloser]

Ant attack

🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜

- 🔥🐛

MEIN GOTT WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?? Do you have any idea how long I spent trying to get rid of all of these ants? Even as I'm typing now, I see a few ants crawling on my desk. I have to live here, you know??

Earlier today, I had to perform an emergency operation on Spy, and he accused me of wanting to start an ant colony in his liver. How preposterous! If I wanted to put anything in his body, I would start with a new pair of lungs!

Not to mention the fact that apparently one of my comrades has a deathly ant allergy! He could've been bit while waiting!

Please refrain from throwing any ants in the future

Stay healthy!

With kind regards, medic

[fortloser]

[note from medic: apologies to the person who screamed "SCOUT YOURE A BADDIE" I accidentally deleted it when I tried to post scouts message for you]

Flattery gets you anywhere toots, so here’s a little gift from me to you. a genuine Jermaine Arnoult batter-up pic from before I joined the team. My friends and I used to break into the baseball stadium just to mess around, and one of them took this picture of me. better hold onto it tight, it's gonna be worth thousands.

Speaking of baddies, GI JOE has to wear an ankle monitor for now, he’s not allowed to go anywhere outside of the BLU territory. and lemme tell you something, he has NOT been taking it well. yesterday he tried chewing his own leg off and today he convinced demo to blow it up. problem is it ended up being the wrong leg. man am i glad im not him right now!

/this is scout signing off!

[fortloser]

This blog seems super fun- I cannot wait to see where this goes!

Wish you folks the best of luck with the public, and I hope y'all have a good time :]

Hallo everyone! medic here!

I'm so glad to hear you have been enjoying our posts. I was very nervous to start this account and seeing all the love and support has warmed my small German-shaped heart,tough I think the general public has a much lesser opinion of us at the moment… Scout and the other two idiots just got arrested and we had to bail them out this morning, scout said he would add his side of the story once we got back to base. There are some drawings these hooligans made at the bottom of the post.

stay healthy!

with kind regards, medic

note from medic: as usual I had to correct scouts message

Oh man, you will not BELIEVE the day I had, so I woke up and the first thing I hear is soldier screaming at me to “GET IN THE VAN MAGGOT” like good morning to you too douchebag, and before I know it im getting shoved in the bed of the truck because the other freak wanted to ride shotgun. So we get to the store and you know it goes pretty smoothly. We fill up our carts and we realize at the checkout that nobody brought the team's credit card, in a moment of silent understanding we all rush out of the store with our carts to the truck and throw in as much as we can. After that it uh,, gets a little fuzzy, the cops show up, I got a couple of swings in (they hit me in the face!), there was a chase and then we landed in jail. Nurse and Pissy Pants had to come bail us out. and to add salt to injury Nurse gave us crayons and our mugshots to draw on during the drive back. He said something about us being childish and never letting us get groceries together ever again, what a jerk!

/anyway, we just arrived back and I can hear Hardhat shouting so this is me signing off!

[fortloser]

Hello again! Sooo kinda a personal question but what was yalls childhoods like?

(Also, hope u feel better snipes!)

-Terror

Hallo everyone! I finally got my hands on those portraits! Now most of the others became rather uncomfortable when I started questioning them about their youths. I got answers ranging from “why are you so bloody intrested in how im doing! There’s nothing special about me or my childhood, now bugger off.” to more reasonable explanations. I tried calling Scout on his cellular device but he seemed very preoccupied. Oh well, he’ll get back to you on that, onto the testimonies! Brace yourself friends this will be somewhat lengthy.

I first approached herr Demo, and getting him to open up was fairly easy. His favorite alcoholic beverage and a snack did the trick!

“ It must be me birthday if yer spoiling me rotten doc, I guess I can share something about me youth if yer willing to lend an ear. I grew up in Glencoe Scotland, a great place if you like trails and hiking. Me mum and dad were professional monster hunters and me being the wee little lad that I was wanted to impress em with the greatest catch any child could give their parents, the Loch Ness monster! I did it all on me own but it came at a cost,,”

After that herr demo just stared off in the distance and I made a mental note to ask him more about that later, The Engineer was also very open about his youth! I came to him shortly after dinner knowing he would be busying himself with one of his long-term projects and would enjoy some company, his leg was still a little stiff from a rather nasty fall and so movement was difficult at times. He was more than happy to talk while I assisted.

“Luckenbach Texas, everybody is somebody there. It was recently bought by a goat farmer. Can you believe that? He called himself an Imagineer and after that, a bunch of hillbilly musicians started moving in. Can't complain though, It breathed new life into my home, I hated going back and seeing the state it was in. My mom and pop own a small pig farm there, and I still try to visit though unlike my good-for-nothing twin with his stupid fancy job at “NASA”,,

I don't think I should share his personal frustration about his twin with the public so let's move on, yes? The next day I approached Heavy, he was last on my list and seemingly already aware of me interrogating the entire team, and as he was cleaning his minigun he told me to take a seat.

“You want to know about heavy, Da? Then I will tell you about heavy. Grew up in big town near mountain, you would not know it. Had big family, many sisters and brothers but Heavy was oldest. Family was poor but happy, loved summer, snow would melt and grass and flowers would show, heavy likes this. Went to good school had many friends, now heavy works to give family same life. Doctor is happy  with answer?”

I was surprised he was so willing to talk about his youth, I politely thanked him and left to prepare for that day's battle, I suppose that only leaves me left.

I was born in Germany, my mother was German and my father was Dutch and they both moved to Germany so my mother could be close to her family, he was a watchmaker and she was an artist, this relationship did not last and they got divorced. My motherstayed in germany allowing my father to raise me on his own back in the netherlands. I spent a lot of time in my father's workshop while he was trying to fix up old clocks. I didn't have many friends but who needs them when you have books and wildlife to observe? I excelled in all of my studies and pursued medicine, and eventually ended up here writing to you after I just finished up patching the last of my colleagues.

Stay healthy

With kind regards medic

[fortloser]

Hello people medic here! Sadly, I have nothing to share with you on this rainy day here in Foundry.

I'm trying my hardest to get my hands on 3 portraits. I think you would find them pleasant to look at? Scout is currently out doing some errands with Pyro and Soldier. They left about 4 hours ago, and usually they're back in 2, I suppose I shouldn't worry too much. They're grown men for christ sake!

Anyway, I should go back to trying to get those portraits. Perhaps I can slip out of today's pokernight and try to take them while nobody's looking?

Stay healthy!

With kind regards medic

[fortloser]

How's the rest of the team?

Hello everyone! It's me again, the medic.   Our team morale has declined due to a long streak of losses. I recently got reassigned because of issues relating to their previous medic. And though they may look headstrong from the outside, spending time with them will show you a different picture. However, I do strongly admire their persistence, team #2307 has the longest-known loss streak of both Red and BLU combined! I���m honestly surprised we haven't been disbanded yet.

Getting up every day knowing you will lose isn't easy and the others don't make it easy either, the Soldier is always barking unreasonable orders, the pyro enjoys the ability to friendly fire a little too much, scout and spy are always arguing (poor boy, I do feel bad for him and fear the powers that reunited him with his father in this manner), sniper and the Demoman are always drunk or causing chaos somewhere. I don't have any major complaints about our heavy and our engineer (god bless his soul) is trying his best to keep us together as a team.

with kind regards, medic

[fortloser]

Hello there, valued (potential) customer!

Please note that the bricking of BLU team #2307 sponsor is strictly prohibited and may result in the termination of this account.

[Bricking our mercenaries is allowed within workhours hours and weekends.]

If you have any other complaints, please feel free to leave them in the official complaint forum located in the pinned post

Kind regards, BLU corporate

What an interesting little blog that only has 2 posts! It sure would be a shame if someone threw a brick the said blog with 2 posts :3

[note from medic: once again, i have slightly corrected Scouts' message, and i do not agree with Scouts' sentiment!]

Great Job knuckle head, ya hit sniper in the frickin face! But if ya ask me, this might be an improvement if ya knew what he looked like before.

Im going to let you guys in on a little secret, most of these guys want to keep their lives private, so if we share a foto that includes the others assume we tried really hard to do it all sneaky like or that they found themselves in the shot by accident, nearly cracked my skull taking this one and unlike sniper, losing this gorgeous mug would be a loss for society.

/Scout signing off!

[fortloser]

What an interesting little blog that only has 2 posts! It sure would be a shame if someone threw a brick the said blog with 2 posts :3

[note from medic: once again, i have slightly corrected Scouts' message, and i do not agree with Scouts' sentiment!]

Great Job knuckle head, ya hit sniper in the frickin face! But if ya ask me, this might be an improvement if ya knew what he looked like before.

Im going to let you guys in on a little secret, most of these guys want to keep their lives private, so if we share a foto that includes the others assume we tried really hard to do it all sneaky like or that they found themselves in the shot by accident, nearly cracked my skull taking this one and unlike sniper, losing this gorgeous mug would be a loss for society.

/Scout signing off!