fortunatelyseveredreamland

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

my mind still cant comprehend that liam’s actually gone, like, i knew i was most likely going to outlive my favorite bands but having to grieve one of the members of my all time favorite bands in my mid twenties was NOT what i was expecting and it’s making all this so much more surreal and hard

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

It’s so odd. I’ve spent the past few days submerged in a low hum of sadness, almost unaware of why I feel this way. The pain is dull enough — or has been made dull enough, because it can’t be explained out loud to those who don’t get it — that I can manage.

Manage to go to work. Manage to make lunch. Manage to fold laundry. Perfunctory things. Adult things. Routine, responsible, mundane things.

But then I reach for something that is meant to spark happiness, comfort, entertainment— music, movies, writing — and then the illusion collapses.

Liam is gone and because of that, it’s joy that I can’t manage right now; the only thing I can’t bring myself to be or do or feel — the only thing that’s out of reach.

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

Just after sunset during the Minneapolis memorial for Liam, someone released five red heart balloons. As they rose up together, one balloon rose higher and faster while the other four seemed to hang back sending it off. To me, the moment felt like these lyrics

You will find me In places that we've never been For reasons we don't understand Walking in the wind

Liam may be gone, but we will continue to find him in many ways as we carry on his memory.

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

i miss one direction but now it’s a whole different kind of miss :(

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

Every time I listen to a one direction song I’m like wow this is one directions best song. Then another one plays and I’m like wow THIS is one directions best song. Then the next one plays and I’m like okay THIS ONE is definitely their best song

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not to be fake deep but one direction is the greatest band in the history of the world

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Liam: Look how i found!!

BONUS:

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So excited to see some messages from folks!! When I get off of work I will answer in full.

Just nice to be in the community again, even if it does have an undertone of sadness ❤️ you guys

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who’s your fave member of 1d? currently i’m really liking louis :) ~remster

This has always been a tough question for me to answer. I’ve always been a Harry girl, but lately I’ve been more on the Zayn train. To know that he is sober and living on a farm in rural America is just SO ADORABLE!!

I love Louis so much. Such a genuine soul.

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

heart is in complete shambles after looking at geoff payne looking at the memorial and thanking fans and paul higgins being there like no parent should ever have to bury their child this is truly heartbreaking. and paul being there is just so. god they really were all so close and formed genuine relationships with everyone during 1d and that clip in this is us where paul says he's like the boys' dad on tour and now he's about to go bring liam back to the uk. i just. this is truly the most heartbreaking thing ever

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Early one direction was fantastic. NO stage presence. No dance moves. They’d just be up on stage like awkwardly bopping around and shoving each other and like fucking giving eachother smooches on the cheek. There was one show where Harry styles got pantsed during his solo??? They were the boyband that NEVER wanted to or intended to be in a boyband! They were totally in it for the fame and the money, but they became BROS !!!! They were FRIENDS!! And that’s the true beauty, the friends we made along the way!

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i do have to say that TMZ is a fucking plague and needs to be stomped out. the way they shared the news of michael jackson’s death before his family was notified, shared images of the kobe bryant helicopter crash before his wife had even found out it happened, and have now shared images of liam payne’s dead body for the world to see… just fucking slimy and utterly devoid of integrity

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

There is a myth that the “stages” of grief happen in a linear fashion, until we ultimately land on acceptance.

That’s horseshit.

Grief is pain, and pain is a shifty little sucker.

You will feel so many emotions, and they will vacillate and cycle rapidly. And that’s okay. I cried more today than I have in years. I’ve felt despair, hopelessness, exhaustion. As I type this, I am trying not to shake with rage. Rage at so many things and so many people.

And to be 100% real with all of you, some of that rage is directed squarely at Liam- at the actions and behaviors that led to this monumental loss we all feel so deeply right now. That too, is okay. If you feel that in thirty seconds, or in ten minutes, or in four days- I want you to know it’s okay.

It is all so valid. I love you all so much. I am right here beside you on this terrible path that all of us are now walking, torches lit, bearing witness to each other’s pain in the dark. You are not alone. We are together.

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

no ones ever gonna do it like these five demons… my kids gonna get into some new boyband shit n like it really will never be one band one dream one direction like no group of men will ever be this talented at first and foremost lying and then secondly singing

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

its like i’ve been operating on auto for hours, i feel so weird. like a piece of my youth has been cut off unexpectedly

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On a related notes, does anyone know how to block names on Facebook feeds? I would like to not see all of the horrible things being posted about Liam by media outlets.