saints, they, 18+ 🐇. there are places like this everywhere / places you enter as a young girl / from which you never return.pfp credit @saspensns
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i would much rather be a mediocre writer than be someone who has beautiful daydreams about the perfect story but in reality never writes anything for fear of failure *through gritted teeth* *blood gushing from my mouth*
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Eileen Percy on an Indian motorcycle in an ad for Fox Shoes, ca. 1920s.
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Nina Foch "Cry of the werewolf" 1944, de Henry Levin.
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something something fucking lord voldemort saying this somehow making him the only character who sees the punitive state for what it is
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ok csa tw vent post im complaining about my armand kinnie problems
ok like im never going to forget when i was freshly 18 and had just escaped sex trafficking via going to college + was exhibiting the most obvious 1:1 ptsd symptoms known to man after leaving that situation but didn’t know what they were / what that was called yet. but those symptoms were interpreted by my then-bf and everyone else around me as me just being like an irrational hysterical overreacting crazy person who freaked out on purpose to inconvenience everyone around me. and everyone knew my history!!
it’s just so odd to look back on like. i remember panicking/crying when my then-bf would shout at me after being maybe ~3 months out from my situation, and he knew this, but the dots just never connected? like every time i cried he treated it like i was doing it entirely on purpose + overreacting for no reason. and he’d be standing over me crying like 🙄 “you always do this, you’re so crazy, nobody acts like this, youre so annoying”. and all my college friends would also treat me having panics like it was a reaction i was choosing to deploy and gently suggest i try not freaking out.
these days i just cannot imagine ever being treated like that lol. unfathomable. like after getting help (i.e being legitimated in the eyes of medical institutions & being in like trafficking groups or w/e) everyone takes my history soooo seriously. like walking on eggshells. five big booms. so it’s bizarre remembering there was a time when i was ever just like? 18-19 freshly at uni rawdogging it surrounded by the least sympathetic teenagers in existence not comprehending why i had symptoms and just being like 😬 shit…. i guess all my friends are right. i must be Ontologically Evil And Fucked Up as a person. anyway this all happened to my best friend armand thevampire
#it really is like what do you mean i was in the fucking torture labyrinth for that long and didn’t realize 😭#thank god for tennis boy but it’s funny having a partner who Treats You Like A Person bc i keep having moments of like#*squints suspiciously* hold on…. you’re saying it wasn’t supposed to be like that in the first place???
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unironically i’ve been getting worse sleep lately because i haven’t had a reliable scenario to imagine before bed…. none of the old ones are doing it anymore and it’s becoming a problem T_T #myplaytime
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sorry i just rewatched goblet of fire. david tennant simply eats so hard im baffled as to why we need to keep pulling these iphone-face-having zillenial models out to make our barty edits… has he not already been delivered to us on a silver platter. thee david tennant. put the skam scene pack away
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my favorite pet theory is how barty crouch jr also technically gathers all of these ingredients over the course of GOF
bone of the father -> barty famously & iconically murders his father by turning him into a bone, while under disguise (“I transfigured my father… He became a bone.”)
flesh of the servant -> in order to free barty from azkaban, his mother swapped bodies with him using polyjuice and died in his place, quite literally sacrificing her flesh
blood of the enemy -> there are a number of people to whom this could apply but most obviously it’s alastor moody during his imprisonment in the trunk.
very impactful considering how barty’s entire character is built around the forcible and nonconsensual alienation from his body and selfhood. he’s a deconstruction of bodily autonomy bc we’ve only ever seen his body repurposed for someone else’s will: he’s an abused child (literally lacking his own name), then incarcerated, then polyjuiced to be his mother, then kept under imperius & invisibility cloak for twelve years, then polyjuiced to be moody. his body is maimed and disfigured in a metaphorical sense.
i like the idea that, narratively speaking, the husk of barty we are left with following the dementors kiss is in fact the “true and whole bodily form” he had been unknowingly building up to. he has always been treated as an empty shell - now he is that in actuality
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does anybody else remember when i made that post about how dolores umbridge is a high femme diva who deserves to be getting dicked down by a swimsuit-model-looking hunk and then i got a series of asks from a furious anon who told me that by saying this i was oppressing feminine men. because i think about that one all the time
#the epic highs and lows of foursaints tumblr#i need to make a tier list of big boom moments that happened on here. scoliosis evan week & dentist evan week are both solidly s tier
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opinions on hufflepuff evan (no voldy and less strict pureblood ideologies?) with ravenclaw barty
given less pureblood ideology/no voldemort AU the only change i’d make would be putting regulus in gryffindor, for obvious reasons.
barty is still slytherin, firstly bc his preoccupation with power has very little to do with blood status and more to do w/ being subordinated throughout his childhood. and then generally i dislike ravenclaw barty because i think it relies on a misunderstanding of what his intelligence looks like. ravenclaws value learning for learning’s sake and the pursuit of knowledge, creativity, even if it doesn’t result in material gain - barty’s cleverness is more mercenary. i think he views his mind as a tool. in the books we can see that he’s very intelligent, but he uses his intellect as a means to an end (rather than for the sake of the process itself). what makes him slytherin is the fact that he would scoff at the idea of gaining knowledge but doing nothing practical with it. he is also probably the single best canonical example of slytherin cunning/resourcefulness in action and i think that runs deeper than circumstance.
evan would still be slytherin but i could see the case for him landing in ravenclaw. he’s much less clever than barty, but more learning-inclined. i.e., barty gets better marks and is perhaps mentally quicker, but evan has a deep preoccupation with dark magic and medicine that sends him seeking out learning & knowledge in a way that barty does not whatsoever. barty is naturally gifted but evan is more of a scholar and has ravenclaw-ish fixations on certain topics. except evan’s predilection for dark magic and fixation on power also tips him over the edge to slytherin, for me.
for all these reasons ravenclaw!barty really pisses me off 😔. they don’t understand him like i do
#a#regulus is sooo gryffindor coded he’s literally the brightest star in the leo constellation 🦁. my lion#i think he was a hat stall between both and he BEGGED for slytherin the way harry begged for gryffindor#but the whole locket self sacrifice situation was his gryffindor leaping out
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do you have a barty fancast?
i wish there was a real life human man who looked the way i draw barty. could u even imagine
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no bc why does NOBODY talk abt dementors 😭😭 ur telling me criminals are getting permanently robbed of their souls and everyone is fine and dandy with that??!?! insanity. i feel like both the books and the fandom dont spend enough time dissecting how horrific and inhumane that is regardless of whatever crime ppl committed it’s so crazy to me
no yeah the carceral state as depicted in harry potter is bewildering and also probably the most scathing indictment of the centrist worldview that jkr represents tbqh!! like the concept of “justice” as written in hp is so consummately liberal (Ontological Good = defense of the status quo)
very very brainrotted marauders fans will sometimes try to make the argument that jkr showing wizard society’s ills is the same as criticism. but i’ve always disagreed with this and if anything it shows the callousness & entitlement of liberal ideology, i.e the belief that “things will always be bad for someone, but this system is the best we’ve got!” - this belief is what allows jkr to feel comfortable writing a society with deep & violent inequality BUT have the entire trajectory of her plot be about defending such society from violent insurgents, while never addressing or reforming the violence inherent to the system. it drives me bonkers because this is a fictional world where she easily could have done that lol
i think that jkr’s brand of liberalism is just such an indefensibly bloodthirsty ideology 🫥 and that her politics beliefs inform every inch of the text & its plot structure. and that’s also why it pisses me off sooo bad when fans are like “X Character is a Death Eater = Bad Guy. You’re Not Allowed To Stan Them Or Ur Bad, Ethically 😡” <- obvious reasons aside it’s like… okay but you’re implicitly aligning yourself uncritically with the ethical worldview outlined by jkr which is itself horrifically flawed!!!!! and azkaban/the unquestioned yet exaggeratedly inhumane treatment of “criminals” as an underclass in harry potter is the most easily spotted example of these flaws
i talked about it more here in the context of my les mis reread but it will never not be funny to me that jkr is seemingly writing according to the exact same cartoonishly evil view of carceral “justice”/ morality that victor hugo was doing an exaggerated critique of in the 19th century. like she is literally javert.
#a#it’s just so fucking crazy bro. even as a child i knew something was wrong and so the first stings of marxism were planted in me
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who up darking their arches
#~_~ 🚬 ugh im so excited for ch2 but sticking to 10k word chapters has been tough for me. the slowest and least patient writer of all time.#GUYSSS. IM SO HAPPY THAT ITS UP.... it makes me so happy...#thinking about them always
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period typical handjobs
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currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days
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