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Nina Foch "Cry of the werewolf" 1944, de Henry Levin.

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something something fucking lord voldemort saying this somehow making him the only character who sees the punitive state for what it is

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ok csa tw vent post im complaining about my armand kinnie problems

ok like im never going to forget when i was freshly 18 and had just escaped sex trafficking via going to college + was exhibiting the most obvious 1:1 ptsd symptoms known to man after leaving that situation but didn’t know what they were / what that was called yet. but those symptoms were interpreted by my then-bf and everyone else around me as me just being like an irrational hysterical overreacting crazy person who freaked out on purpose to inconvenience everyone around me. and everyone knew my history!!

it’s just so odd to look back on like. i remember panicking/crying when my then-bf would shout at me after being maybe ~3 months out from my situation, and he knew this, but the dots just never connected? like every time i cried he treated it like i was doing it entirely on purpose + overreacting for no reason. and he’d be standing over me crying like 🙄 “you always do this, you’re so crazy, nobody acts like this, youre so annoying”. and all my college friends would also treat me having panics like it was a reaction i was choosing to deploy and gently suggest i try not freaking out.

these days i just cannot imagine ever being treated like that lol. unfathomable. like after getting help (i.e being legitimated in the eyes of medical institutions & being in like trafficking groups or w/e) everyone takes my history soooo seriously. like walking on eggshells. five big booms. so it’s bizarre remembering there was a time when i was ever just like? 18-19 freshly at uni rawdogging it surrounded by the least sympathetic teenagers in existence not comprehending why i had symptoms and just being like 😬 shit…. i guess all my friends are right. i must be Ontologically Evil And Fucked Up as a person. anyway this all happened to my best friend armand thevampire

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unironically i’ve been getting worse sleep lately because i haven’t had a reliable scenario to imagine before bed…. none of the old ones are doing it anymore and it’s becoming a problem T_T #myplaytime

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*at the job interview* i have powers

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sorry i just rewatched goblet of fire. david tennant simply eats so hard im baffled as to why we need to keep pulling these iphone-face-having zillenial models out to make our barty edits… has he not already been delivered to us on a silver platter. thee david tennant. put the skam scene pack away

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my favorite pet theory is how barty crouch jr also technically gathers all of these ingredients over the course of GOF

bone of the father -> barty famously & iconically murders his father by turning him into a bone, while under disguise (“I transfigured my father… He became a bone.”)

flesh of the servant -> in order to free barty from azkaban, his mother swapped bodies with him using polyjuice and died in his place, quite literally sacrificing her flesh

blood of the enemy -> there are a number of people to whom this could apply but most obviously it’s alastor moody during his imprisonment in the trunk.

very impactful considering how barty’s entire character is built around the forcible and nonconsensual alienation from his body and selfhood. he’s a deconstruction of bodily autonomy bc we’ve only ever seen his body repurposed for someone else’s will: he’s an abused child (literally lacking his own name), then incarcerated, then polyjuiced to be his mother, then kept under imperius & invisibility cloak for twelve years, then polyjuiced to be moody. his body is maimed and disfigured in a metaphorical sense.

i like the idea that, narratively speaking, the husk of barty we are left with following the dementors kiss is in fact the “true and whole bodily form” he had been unknowingly building up to. he has always been treated as an empty shell - now he is that in actuality

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does anybody else remember when i made that post about how dolores umbridge is a high femme diva who deserves to be getting dicked down by a swimsuit-model-looking hunk and then i got a serious of asks from a furious anon who told me that by saying this i was oppressing feminine men. because i think about that one all the time

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opinions on hufflepuff evan (no voldy and less strict pureblood ideologies?) with ravenclaw barty

given less pureblood ideology/no voldemort AU the only change i’d make would be putting regulus in gryffindor, for obvious reasons.

barty is still slytherin, firstly bc his preoccupation with power has very little to do with blood status and more to do w/ being subordinated throughout his childhood. and then generally i dislike ravenclaw barty because i think it relies on a misunderstanding of what his intelligence looks like. ravenclaws value learning for learning’s sake and the pursuit of knowledge, creativity, even if it doesn’t result in material gain - barty’s cleverness is more mercenary. i think he views his mind as a tool. in the books we can see that he’s very intelligent, but he uses his intellect as a means to an end (rather than for the sake of the process itself). what makes him slytherin is the fact that he would scoff at the idea of gaining knowledge but doing nothing practical with it. he is also probably the single best canonical example of slytherin cunning/resourcefulness in action and i think that runs deeper than circumstance.

evan would still be slytherin but i could see the case for him landing in ravenclaw. he’s much less clever than barty, but more learning-inclined. i.e., barty gets better marks and is perhaps mentally quicker, but evan has a deep preoccupation with dark magic and medicine that sends him seeking out learning & knowledge in a way that barty does not whatsoever. barty is naturally gifted but evan is more of a scholar and has ravenclaw-ish fixations on certain topics. except evan’s predilection for dark magic and fixation on power also tips him over the edge to slytherin, for me.

for all these reasons ravenclaw!barty really pisses me off 😔. they don’t understand him like i do

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do you have a barty fancast?

i wish there was a real life human man who looked the way i draw barty. could u even imagine

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no bc why does NOBODY talk abt dementors 😭😭 ur telling me criminals are getting permanently robbed of their souls and everyone is fine and dandy with that??!?! insanity. i feel like both the books and the fandom dont spend enough time dissecting how horrific and inhumane that is regardless of whatever crime ppl committed it’s so crazy to me

no yeah the carceral state as depicted in harry potter is bewildering and also probably the most scathing indictment of the centrist worldview that jkr represents tbqh!! like the concept of “justice” as written in hp is so consummately liberal (Ontological Good = defense of the status quo)

very very brainrotted marauders fans will sometimes try to make the argument that jkr showing wizard society’s ills is the same as criticism. but i’ve always disagreed with this and if anything it shows the callousness & entitlement of liberal ideology, i.e the belief that “things will always be bad for someone, but this system is the best we’ve got!” - this belief is what allows jkr to feel comfortable writing a society with deep & violent inequality BUT have the entire trajectory of her plot be about defending such society from violent insurgents, while never addressing or reforming the violence inherent to the system. it drives me bonkers because this is a fictional world where she easily could have done that lol

i think that jkr’s brand of liberalism is just such an indefensibly bloodthirsty ideology 🫥 and that her politics beliefs inform every inch of the text & its plot structure. and that’s also why it pisses me off sooo bad when fans are like “X Character is a Death Eater = Bad Guy. You’re Not Allowed To Stan Them Or Ur Bad, Ethically 😡” <- obvious reasons aside it’s like… okay but you’re implicitly aligning yourself uncritically with the ethical worldview outlined by jkr which is itself horrifically flawed!!!!! and azkaban/the unquestioned yet exaggeratedly inhumane treatment of “criminals” as an underclass in harry potter is the most easily spotted example of these flaws

i talked about it more here in the context of my les mis reread but it will never not be funny to me that jkr is seemingly writing according to the exact same cartoonishly evil view of carceral “justice”/ morality that victor hugo was doing an exaggerated critique of in the 19th century. like she is literally javert.

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who up darking their arches

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period typical handjobs

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currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

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once again the idea that in the wizarding world it's known + taken for granted that the human soul and afterlife not only both Exist, but that there's also an animal creature who quite literally feeds on your metaphysical soul and extinguishes it from existence, and that this creature is just like employed by the british government. is probably one of the craziest hanging question marks in harry potter canon and im never not thinking about it.

but i feel that we're missing some great places to take this fanon-wise. like the explanation that the dementors are this big ~mystery~ because of a dark magic taboo and that nobody is asking any sort of insightful questions about their whole deal just strikes me as so inadequate. what i'm saying is that evan rosier 200% had a flayed-open dementor corpse strapped down to a gurney somewhere in his house and he's probably getting to the bottom of it (his hands are mucking through their digestive tract).

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androgynous christ

in john ridewall's "fulgentius metaforalis", bavaria, c. 1424

source: Vatican, Bibl. Apostolica Vaticana, Pal. lat. 1066, fol. 243r

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What are your favorite books on trauma?

i have made lists of both non-fiction and fiction separately, but let's do one masterlist together. this is just a list of books that have been personally meaningful to me in some way, and taking a pretty broad, inclusive definition of "books on trauma."

NONFICTION

skin: talking about sex, class, and literature, dorothy allison

the reproduction of evil: a clinical and cultural perspective, sue grand

between the body and the flesh: performing sadomasochism, lynda hart

father-daughter incest, judith herman

trauma and recovery: the aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror, judith herman

the unsayable: the hidden language of trauma, annie g. rogers

organized sexual abuse, michael salter

the body in pain: the making and unmaking of the world, elaine scarry

coercive control: how men trap women in personal life, evan stark

MEMOIR

the incest diary, anonymous

tiger tiger, margaux fragoso

the kiss, kathryn harrison

trauma plot: a life, jamie hood

i'm glad my mom died, jennette mcurdy

a shining affliction: a story of harm and healing in psychotherapy, annie g. rogers

consent, vanessa springora

FICTION

the regeneration trilogy, pat barker

our share of night, mariana enriquez

two girls, fat and thin, mary gaitskill

serious weakness, porpentine charity heartscape

the farseer trilogy, robin hobb

the bird's nest and hangsaman, shirley jackson

the turn of the screw, henry james

kassandra and the wolf, margarita karpanou

fall on your knees, anne-marie macdonald

beyond black, hilary mantel

the lesser bohemians and the city changes its face, eimear mcbride

dark horses, susan mihalic

ghost wall, sarah moss

beloved, toni morrison

earthlings, sayaka murata

lolita, vladimir nabokov

my dark vanessa, kate elizabeth russell

the winter prince, elizabeth wein

a little life, hanya yanagihara